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Our own Prison by MoonBuzzLeto
Chapter 4 : Withdraw into me
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 1

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He was dying. He thought sure he was dying. Every muscle in his body seeming like they were threatening to atrophy. He was freezing cold and shivering from the inside out but soaked in sweat. His stomach cramped, his vision blurred and he didn’t think he could even stand without falling on his face. He mustn’t scream, he mustn’t cry out or show any signs of weakness. He curled into fetal position clutching his fast revolting stomach.  He tried to breathe through the next wave of pain but found himself screaming and writhing as if someone had used the Cruictatus curse on him. He didn’t even see Celestia until she was off the Divan where she had been sleeping and at his side.

Seize the Day
Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

I see my visions burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry
These streets we travel on will undergo our same lost past


Celestia was awoken by the sound of someone in agony and she knew at once what it was. His body was detoxing just like Cara’s did in her many attempts to clean up. She ran over to the bed where he was curled into a ball and was at his side before she had time to even think about what she was doing. She sat on the edge of the bed and began stroking his arm softly.


“Hush, love Hush” she trilled as if speaking to a small child with a nightmare. He stopped twisting but turned away on his side facing the wall. He didn’t speak but he didn’t push her away either. She lay on her side and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her hands just over his heart, which was undulating in a desperately below par pattern, “Your gonna be okay.” She whispered to him to her best consolatory voice. His body was over taken by tremors now “It will be over soon” she heartened to him and he moaned “It’s so cold, but so hot” His voice was weak and far off sounding.

She rose from the bed and went into the bathroom and wetted a towel with cool water and came back to sit on her knees beside the bed mildly sponging his forehead which was beaded with sweat. Just then a slight cracking sound made her whirl around and she saw a glass appear on the table, which had just been empty. A small crystal glass with a clear red liquid inside. She walked over and lifted the glass to her hose inhaling the unmistakable scent of Fire whiskey. “Bloody Genius! Thank you!” she yelled to no one in particular near the ceiling and walked the glass over to the bed “Drink this” she said thrusting the glass under his nose.

                “I am a lot of things Miss Selwyn, but a drunk is not one of them” his voice spilled out like black bile

                “Good to know dear. There isn’t enough here to intoxicate, but just enough to steady you a little. Trust me” She said a little sadly and he had to ask “Why are you being so kind to me” Cara’s once pretty face, gaunt from her years of hard living appeared just behind Celestia’s eyes. She pushed the image out and looked at the man who had leaned up a little on his elbow and was giving her a look she would have sworn he stole from the devil himself.

                “Let’s just say I knew someone like you once and leave it that” she said with no room for more questions. He held out the glass again and he took it all in one gulp


I found you here, now please just stay for a while
I can move on with you around
I hand you my mortal life, but will it be forever?
I'd do anything for a smile, holding you 'til our time is done
we both know the day will come, but I don't want to leave you


                Draco felt the burn the moment he swallowed the noxious liquid. But she was right, he did feel a little less shaky and the stomach cramps were less intense.  He looked up at her and thought that even a blind man could see the pain in her eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry” he said and she shook her head, her plait waving back and fourth and then finally resting over her left shoulder. She was captivating in the dim firelight and he felt the odd need to scoop her back into the bed and ask her to hold him a little more. Before he could act on his foolish desires his stomach flipped and he ran into the Privy vomiting uncontrollably. After it was over he thoroughly brushed his teeth and changed into a fresh pair of grey satin sleep pants that he mystery room had prepared for him. It almost seems like being in the room of requirement.  He thought to himself though he knew that wasn’t where he was. He ached for Hogwarts some days and all that it once had represented to him. Home, family and a place to be free. Draco missed all of it so much it hurt. From the silly sobbing ghost in the girls toilet to the enchanted ceiling in the great hall.

                Draco was lost in thought when he returned to the main room and found her sitting right where he left her, on the floor beside the bed.

                “Better now” she asked and then he realized that he did feel quite a bit better.

                                “I don’t know how to thank you” he began but she was shaking her head again.

                                                                “Not all of us do something because we expect repayment mister Malfoy, your thanks is good enough for me”

“Thank you” he said sincerely and lay back on the bed. He noticed too that she had changed the sheets.  He wanted to talk to her but didn’t know how to begin. “So where do you think we are?” he asked lamely.

                “I don’t know, I’ve been calling it the stump, because it looks like we are in a tree stump”

He chuckled “I like that… our stump” she smiled at him and he swore he could feel the warmth emanating from her eyes. He sat up leaned against the pillows. “There’s room for two up here” he said awkwardly and patted the spot directly beside him she walked around and sat beside him in the same position he was sitting.

 “You know, my sister had the biggest crush on you in school. She was a Slytherin too, four years behind you” she stopped and had a look in her eye that looked like regret.

“She was the one like me, wasn’t she?” he asked quietly and she only nodded.

“I wanted so much to save her, but I was too late”

                “I’m so sorry.” He noticed tears form at the edges of her eyes and she blinked them away quickly “I jus hope she’s at peace now”.

Newborn life replacing life, replacing all of us, changing this fable we live in
No longer needed here so where should we go?
Will you take a journey tonight; follow me past the walls of death?
But girl, what if there is no eternal life?


  Not knowing what to do, a slid his arm around her delicate shoulders and tugged her closer to him he lay on his side with her facing him and allowed her to cuddle against his chest.  They lay like that, still for a moment when the Victrola started up again



Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over.
Trials in life, questions of us existing here, don't want to die alone without you there
Please tell me what we have is real

so, what if never hold you, or kiss your lips again?
I never want to leave you and the memory of us to see
I beg don't leave me


The poignant words seemed to pierce Draco’s heart as he looked down at her, starting to nod off in slumber, content in his arms. Draco moved so slowly it was like he was under a spell, and who knows perhaps he was. But he sunk down slightly and brushed her lips with his. Her half closed eyes flew open and she froze on the spot. She didn’t respond but wasn’t pulling away either so he pressed his lips a little harder, nibbling and sucking on her bottom lip ever so lightly, while teasing her lips wit his tongue. Softly, almost not at all, she pressed her lips to his and scooted her body closer. He held her to him as if his life depended on it, and even after the kiss ended he was unbraiding her hair wit his graceful fingers and cradling her head against his bare chest “Carpe Diem” he whispered and she was looking up at him soundlessly she gave his cheek the softest of kisses and went to rise.

I am unraveling unbearably empty
and if this ground gives way
I just hope that you catch me.


“You don’t have to get up” he said too quickly and she chuckled softly.

“Yes, Mister Malfoy I believe I do. Now try to go to sleep” 

                “Yes mum” he said in a light tone and closed his eyes. But he didn’t sleep thoughts of her echoed through his brain. What it would be like to make love to her, to wake up everyday and see her sleeping beside him “No Draco” he chided himself “You know you weren’t meant for love. And just before he did nod off to sleep he heard the Victrola change tunes again.

You came and saved me tonight
Defending all my life
Now I'm content with my breathe
Cuz I'm alive.

                Celestia settled down on the divan, her face hot with embarrassment.  “What the hell were you thinking letting him kiss you! And you pressed up against him like some great tramp! You should be ashamed of your self!”  She pulled the blanket over her head and groaned. She had never been kissed like that before and admittedly it had felt good. We are just both in a vulnerable place right now, and seeking some human comfort. It meant nothing and will never ever happen again. She kept telling herself. From the corner the Victrola started up again

Share with me the blankets that you're wrapped in
Because it's cold outside (cold outside) it's cold outside
Share with me the secrets that you kept in
Because it's cold inside (cold inside) it's cold inside

And your slow shaking finger tips
Show that you're scared like me so
Let's pretend we're alone
And I know you may be scared
And I know we're unprepared
But I don't care


Shut Up you! She snapped not finding the machine quaint now, but rather creepy. But the words made her think as she begins to doze off.  Surely I could never fall in love with that Monster, and even if I did, he would never, ever love me back. Men like Draco Malfoy don’t love. They use people until they’ve got what they want and then discard them like yesterday’s newspaper. The sooner I get away from him, the better...


Tell me; tell me
what makes you think that you are invincible?
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable

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