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Shakespeare, Magic, and Me by heyITSme
Chapter 2 : "Oh lamentable day!" Nurse(4.5.21)
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 7

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[Disclaimer: i don't own anything. Not Shakespeare or Lily or Sirius or James (Don't I wish?). I do however own Brad.]

C H A P T E R T W O"Oh lamentable day!" Nurse. (4.5.21)
[Previously: "What?" Marlene asked, "Why would she make herself a Nurse? I would take her to put herself as Juliet."

"And Romeo and Juliet are..."

I glanced frighteningly at Black's triumphant face to Marlene's confused face, "She would make herself Juliet...unless...Oh, God--no!"

"James Potter and Lily Evans!"

How the fuck did this happen? I'll tell you how. Missy-fucking-Monroe. God I hate that girl.

"James! Lily! C'mon!" Missy giggled from stage.

"Lily, I am so, so sorry." Marlene murmured.

"Yes, Lily dear! Do come up to the stage!" Black cried with mirth.

"I fucking hate Black and Monroe." I seethed

"Come my sweet!" James cried.

"Oy! Potter, watch your mouth!" Brad yelled.

Oh Brad, he's so perfect.

No, really, he is. He's such a great boyfriend. I mean, how many guys stand up to Potter?



Because Hogwarts is full of pansies.

"Umm...Lily? Are you coming up to the stage?"

"Yes, Missy. Because it is my life's aspiration to get off my lazy ass and act out some dumbass play for you."

Missy's wide eyes blinked for a moment. "Great!"

Potter snorted fromt the side of the stage.

Merlin, this girl is blonde.

I approached the stage, and stood next to Potter, disgusted.

"And finally, directing us backstage are Frank Longbottom, Marlene McKinnon, and Remus Lupin!"

"I'M IN CHARGE OF COSTUMES! DIBBS!" Marlene screamed.

"Chill it, would you McKinnon?" Black drawled.

Marlene shot him the dirtiest glare she could, which, in all honestly, is pretty dirty.

Ok. Ew. That sounded weird. 

"Shut it, Black. I've had about enough of you today."

"Oh really? that's not what you said last night!"

"Black!" Marlene cried in disgust, "Stop with the shitty jokes!"

"Ok," Missy said awkwardly, "Well, everyone else here will be assigned smaller roles, the role of the chorus, backstage work, or ushering. Ok."

Is there a reason she feels the need to say ok every four words? It's driving me insane.


There she goes again.

"These are all your scripts. Siri, would you be a dear and pass out these books?"

After another shudder, Black began to pass around these redish-purple books titled "The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet". Just seeing the book made it all so real, and I felt a shiver go up my spine.

"Nervous?" Potter breathed into my ear from behind me.

I jumped about a mile into the air, of course.

"Dear Merlin, Potter! Every heard of 'back-it-up'?"

Potter just rolled his eyes at me as Black handed me and Potter our books. "Here Prongsie, Lily dearest. Happy with your character, I hope?"

"Black, you better stuff it right now or else I'll--"

"What? What will you, Perfect Precious Prefect Evans do to me?"

Before I could respond, Marlene scooted over to us and Black slithered away."Hey Lillers, I'm really sorry."

"Sorry doesn't even begin to cover it. I'm about to kill Black."

"Ugh, I know, hon, he's a pain is the arse."

"He's a defect to the bloody world. Everytime I look at him, I curse his bloody father for not wearing a condom." 

I think I heard Potter snort from behind me.

"Hey Evans!" Black called, "Did you notice all the kissing scenes in here?"

"Black!" Brad yelled.

I stood up and clenched my fists. "Black you better--"

"Threre's even a sex scene!"

And then I lept at Black, ready to kill, looking somewhat like a deranged cat, probably. 

[A/N: So here it is! I know it's another short chapter, but I'm not really writing for length, I'm writing for...quality, I suppose. But anyways, thanks for reading, and please review!]

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