Chapter 1 : The only Chapter
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Lyrics from Spring Awakening
A/N: I had the pleasure of watching this show recently and couldn’t seem to get the lyrics from this number out of my head. This is just a little something I thought up. Please read and review.
Those you’ve known
And lost, still walk behind you
They linger till they find you
The world grows dark around you
And nothing is the same until you know that they have found you
The night was dark – but so were the many others that had passed since his friends, no his brothers and sister, had passed on. Curses whizzed past his ears and barely missed grazing his shoulders. The sky was periodically lit by sparks of red and green and bodies lay on the ground around him. However, Remus’ mind was not in the battle at hand. His mind was on the years of difficult nights that had passed since Sirius, James, and Lily had been murdered and he was left alone – the last of the marauders. They’d been young when they had joined the fight against Voldemort. And now, twenty years later, it had finally come to a culmination. The possibility of victory was finally tangible. If only James and Lily were here to see this day. Remus barely dodged a streak of green light and felt the reassurance that his departed brothers and sister were in fact there with him. Although he was alone, and had been for basically two decades, he knew James and Lily were watching over him. Lilly and James were with him in their deaths just as they were in their lives. This fact lit the darkness surrounding his world and the night surrounding the battle. He could only hope that Sirius was as well.
Those you’ve pained
May carry that still with them
All the same
They whisper: “All forgiven.”
Still your heart says
The shadows bring the starlight
And everything you’ve ever been is still there in the dark night
After James and Lily had been murdered, Remus had done the unthinkable. He had betrayed his only living friend, Sirius. He was a hypocrite. He had not given any thought to another scenario and believed the masses. As far as he had been concerned Sirius had as-good-as killed his so-called brother and his family. He had turned them over to Voldemort. Remus shot several curses over his shoulder at a grouping of death eaters and shivered involuntarily. Twelve-years. That is how long Remus had sinned against his only remaining friend. He had turned his back on Sirius and not looked back. The night the truth was revealed four years ago, Remus had not apologized. To this day he had still not apologized. He and Sirius had simply picked up living and working with the order and watching over Harry. Now Sirius was dead and Remus had to live on without the forgiveness he so earnestly longed for. He knew that he had hurt Sirius with his doubt. A stunner hit his left shoulder and Remus felt the burning pain sear through him. Through the tumult around him, the sound of curses flying and people stumbling – the sounds of anguished cries and cries of resolve, Remus could swear he heard Sirius’ dog-like chuckle forgiving him. From the darkness around the raging blood-bath, a single star shone brightly in the sky. Remus took his attention away from the death eater bearing down on him and the searing pain in his shoulder and noticed that it was Sirius, the dog star, the brightest star in the night sky. Yes, through it all they were still in it together. Not only James and Lily walked behind Remus – Sirius was there as well even on this darkest of nights.
When the northern wind blows
The sorrows your heart holds
There are those who still know?
You walk on by yourself, and not with them ?
Still you know
They will fill your heart and mind
When they say there’s a way through this.
Although he was the last of the marauders, the last living thread of a childhood of happiness, he was able to find comfort with one other individual. Although she couldn’t relate the depthless sorrow that Remus had endured in his life, she was there for him even as he rejected her. She had stood strong by his side and finally wore down his resolve. Nymphadora Tonks – Lupin had been able to fill the aching void in his heart and mind. Despite his protests that he was a lone wolf who went alone and his protests that he was literally a lone wolf who could kill her, she had persisted and walked onward with him. Yes, his wife – the mother of his son, was a lovely woman. Focusing on the duel before him, he could only hope that she would be okay. He needed her to be okay, she was all he had left in the living world besides his little boy. He couldn’t raise Teddy alone. The death eater before him fell and Remus rushed onward to the next squirmish.
Those you’ve known
And lost, still walk behind you
Their song still seems to find you
They call you
As if you knew their longing –
They whistle through the lonely wind, the long blue shadows falling
But still I hear their yearning
Through the dark, the moon, alone there, burning
The stars too
They tell of spring returning –
And summer with another wind that no one yet has known.
The fighting was getting rather heated. More and more order members and students were falling to the spells and curses of the death eaters. Death, it seemed, was mocking Remus. It was calling him into its cool and permanent embrace. It wouldn’t be so bad he reckoned. He’d finally be with James and Lily and Sirius again. He shook himself from this reverie and reminded himself that they were so close to achieving victory. Being the only one of the marauders left, he had to live to see the forthcoming victory for the sake of his departed friends. He heard a familiar voice cry out to him and remembered the fighting going on around him. It was Dora, his Dora. She needed his assistance. The only thing standing between him and coming to her aid was the grouping of death eaters before him. They engaged him in a duel and curses whizzed every which direction. All Remus could think was the she needed him and he was going to be too late.
They call me –
Through all things –
But somehow I go on
You watch me
Just watch me –
When finally he reached the spot her voice had called to him from, she was nowhere to be seen. Remus began to walk around calling her name whilst dodging the spells and curses ricocheting from the surrounding duels. Then, his heart stopped and his blood ran cold. She was lying on the ground. Her eyes were wide open. She wasn’t breathing. She wasn’t moving. She too was lost to him. Remus wondered how his heart continued to beat while she lie there on the blood soaked ground. The darkness of the night pressed in on him. He could here James, Lily, Sirius, and now his Dora call to him. They seemed to call him to themselves. If this battle ended in victory, it wouldn’t be his victory. This fight was no longer Remus Lupin’s. He had lived alone in this life long enough. There was no point in calling upon the deceased four to walk beside him when he could just join them. Yes, he longed to be with them once more. To watch Lily and James quarrel, to listen to Sirius’ comical laugh, to lie beside his wife.
Now they’ll walk on my arm through the distant night
And I won’t let them stray from my heart
Through the wind, through the dark, through the winter light
I will read all their dreams to the stars
I’ll walk with them now
I’ll call on their names
I’ll see their thoughts are known
They walk with my heart –
And I’ll never let them go
Remus Lupin surged blindly into the nearest group of death eaters and cast an abundance of spells at them. A group of young students were able to regain their footing and joined the fight with him. As the death eaters began to overpower him, he called out to them to run. They reluctantly scattered, leaving Remus to fend for himself. Alone against five death eaters, Remus knew this fight would end quickly and his thoughts turned to the reunion that awaited him in the next life. The marauders would again be together. All those closest to his heart would be where they should be – together. From there, they would be able to look down on a victorious world. A free world. The world they had spent their lives fighting for. Yes, together Remus would be able to look down on all those who lived on. Harry, the Weasley’s, Kingsley, his son. A sad smile crossed his face as he turned to his right. He looked up in time to see a bolt of green light speeding towards him. Yes, this was it. He quickly whispered, “here I come” to the darkness, and then there was no more.
I’ll never let them go
You watch me
Just watch me
I’m calling –
And one day all will know
Remus opened his eyes and was greeted by the best group of faces he had ever seen. Lily and James sat on his right. Sirius was perched on the foot of his bed. His lovely Nymphadora’s bubble-gum pink head was nestled on his chest. All around him sounds like apparating could be heard. Soon he was joined by Severous Snape, Fred Weasley, and Collin Creevey. A door just across the room opened and Professor Dumbledore walked through it followed by a exotically dressed house elf and a familiar snowy white owl. Stumbling just behind him was the one-legged profile of Alastor Moody. Dumbledore cleared his throat and began to speak.
“Now that we are all here, we welcome you Remus. But let us not get to comfortable. We have a job to do or more will be joining us. The living are calling for us. We must do our part and walk beside them. After all, those they’ve lost will always walk behind them.”