Chapter 11 : Chapter eleven: Confusion, I hate you
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I don't know if this will be the last chapter before the staff goes on holiday. It depends on how fast it gets validated. But don't be too sad if you only get one chapter before, because the staff really deserves some free time! Don't you think?
I know, I know; I'm ramling now. Sorry. I'm stopping right now.
Disclaimer: I'm not J K Rowling.
Time passed quickly, and December came. October was pretty uneventful. We had an excellent Halloween feast and won our game against Hufflepuff easily. I went to Hogsmeade with Zach once again on the first Saturday of November, and he asked me to be his girlfriend.
I didn’t have to think twice before I said yes. Zach was a cute guy, who really seemed to care for me. He also got on well with my friends, which was a plus. There wasn’t really anything bad about him. Nothing that I had discovered yet anyway.
So things hadn’t changed much. Alisha was still single, and so was Remus. None of them were interested in having a relationship. Peter was also single, but that wasn’t a surprise really, was it?
Lily and James had slowly become something close to friends. I mean, they could actually be in the same room and act civil to each other without ending up in a fight. That was a great progress for them.
It had to do with the fact that James had changed his ways of acting in front of Lily. I wasn’t sure if it was because of the advice I had given him or if he had matured, but it really worked. Hopefully it wouldn’t be too long before she realised how much she liked him, because it was obvious to everyone except for herself and James.
She didn’t rant about him in front of me and Alisha as much as before, and when she did you could see that she wasn’t really angry. You could also catch her looking at him, only briefly, but it wasn’t the evil eye she used to give him. No, it was a look of interest.
Of course, we didn’t tell James about this. I think he would become too excited and do something stupid that would ruin it all. It would be better to let them find out by themselves. Sirius and I decided that we would play cupid if they hadn’t hooked up by March though.
Speaking of Sirius… He was the only one who had changed. And it wasn’t a small change either. He was like a completely different person.
You see, it had all begun with him starting to date a girl in November. It was a fifth year Hufflepuff. Everyone had been surprised. Sirius usually doesn’t date much, and she wasn’t his type either. She was… Not the brightest crayon in the box, to put it nicely. She was a ditz, really.
Sure, perhaps it was wrong to say that Sirius had a type, since he didn’t date often but the girls he had dated before had been cute and smart girls. Not nerdy, but not bimbos either. However, this time it was different.
Nicole, as she was called, was at his side constantly. She called him “Siri” (yes, that horrible nickname once again) and got insanely jealous as soon as he talked to Alisha, Lily or me. He started avoiding us so that she wouldn’t get angry. They were found snogging in broom cupboards several times.
None of us understood anything. Sirius changed completely in only a couple of days. The guys told us that he didn’t act different when they were alone, but that he put on this façade as soon as anyone else was around.
It was a mystery to all of us. We tried to figure it out, but no one came up with anything. The guys tried to talk to him, but he just brushed it off, putting on his macho arrogant attitude. He had actually smirked and told them that she was ‘good at her stuff’. It was a great relief when he dumped her two weeks later. The old Sirius came back, and we all thought that he had just made a mistake.
However, it was us that were mistaken. Sirius started dating a new girl only a week after his break up with Nicole. She was pretty much like his last one. He avoided us again, and I really missed my best friend. I tried to talk to him, but he was always on his way to something.
It was the same as last time. He broke up with her, but after only one week this time. She was devastated and cried in the Great hall. It was really embarrassing. Sirius didn’t seem to care though. He was too busy talking to Alisha about what he had missed.
I didn’t know how to act when he tried to talk to me. He had ignored me for an entire week, and suddenly he thought that everything was all right? I answered him shortly, and he looked surprised. I left the hall early that evening, and went to meet Zach.
It was my turn to ignore Sirius now. He had hurt me, and I wanted him to know it. I hadn’t done anything to him so I couldn’t understand why he was choosing some stupid ditz over his best friend.
It went on like that for a couple of weeks. He managed to date 4 girls in 4 weeks. The whole school was talking about it; no one seemed to understand why he had changed so quickly. Even the teachers reacted. I saw McGonagall watching him intently with a frown on her face.
Sirius sure was a mystery, and I was dying to solve it. Not because I was curious. No, I just wanted my best friend back.
I sat on my bed, listening to Alisha and Lily’s conversation. I had been distanced lately, because of the whole ‘Sirius-thing’. It was clear that James was suffering too; he always looked troubled when Sirius wasn’t around.
“So Sophia, what’s bothering you?” Lily asked me.
I didn’t feel like talking about it, so I was just going to tell her that I was fine when she continued.
“And love, don’t tell me it’s nothing. It’s obvious that something is wrong.”
I flinched when she called me love. Sirius was the only one who called me that. I hadn’t thought about it before. Why had I become so bloody sensitive about him? Sure, he was supposed to be my best friend but it wasn’t like he had abandoned me completely.
I figured it was best to tell them the truth.
“It’s about Sirius… It’s just…” I said, trying to find the right words. “I can’t understand him! He’s become a whole new person in just a month!”
Alisha frowned. “Yeah, it’s really weird. Perhaps something has happened with his family? You know he’s really sensitive about that.”
“No, that can’t be it” Lily said. “I mean, he would have told James or Sophia about it if that was the case.”
“Yeah, he would…” I said quietly.
“Well, we probably won’t figure it out anyway. Sirius is a complicated person, you know that” Alisha said.
Lily sighed. “You’re probably right. But something is very wrong. I wish he would just tell us what it is.”
“Tell me about it” I mumbled.
Lily walked up to me and hugged me.
“It’ll be alright Soph. He’ll come around some time and understand what a pig he has been. I promise.”
“Let’s hope so, because I really miss my friend” I said while I hugged her back.
“I think we all do” Alisha said and joined us in a group hug.
I was walking hand in hand with Zach. The first snow had fallen, and we were going to have a snowball fight. The ground was covered in snow, and it was cold outside. We walked down to the spot where we had decided to meet the others. Everybody except for Peter was going participate. Apparently, he had a tutor session or something.
It felt a bit weird to be around Sirius. He was single at the moment, so he acted like his old self, but he had missed a lot when he avoided us for four weeks. I hadn’t forgiven him completely yet, and he hadn’t apologised either. It was like he was totally unaware of the fact that he had acted like an idiot.
Despite all of those feelings, I tried to act as if nothing had happened. I felt like a coward, but I didn’t have the energy to argue about it. It wouldn’t have changed anything, since he didn’t think he had done anything wrong. So I just pretended that everything was fine.
We decided to split into three teams. I ended up in a team with Adam and James. Lily, Joshua and Zach formed a team while Alisha, Sirius and Tim were in the last one. We were going to play it muggle-style, so using a wand was forbidden.
“Alright you fellas, listen up!” James said, and we all gathered in a circle.
“Here’s the deal; you have two lives. This means that you can get hit two times without dying.”
I rolled my eyes and smiled. It was typical James to get this competitive about small things like snowball fights.
“The third time you get hit, you’re out. We play until there’s only one man left. Remus here will be our judge” he continued and pointed towards Remus.
Remus was looking very tired. He was pale too. Perhaps he was sick? After all, many got colds when the first snow fell.
“Why aren’t you playing?” Adam asked him.
“I’m not feeling very well. I think I’m getting a cold or something” Remus answered and smiled weakly.
“Yeah, well, back to the rules!” James exclaimed and continued to go through all of the rules.
When he had finished his speech, we went in different directions and started building snow forts. James started talking to us while we were gathering the snow.
“Now listen, we need some tactics. Our opponents will be hard to defeat, but I think we’ll manage. I’ll go for Sirius and Zach.”
“And I’ll go for Tim and Alisha” Adam said.
“Which leaves Lily and Joshua for you, Soph” James said.
“And what happens if someone else is going for me?” I asked.
“Then we will help you” Adam answered.
I couldn’t help but smile. These guys really took this seriously. I thought of it as a fun thing, but it was clear that they had decided to win this. It would be interesting to see how that would go.
“EVERYBODY READY?” Remus’ voice was heard.
I heard answers coming from several directions. Both Adam and James screamed “READY!”
“ALRIGHT; SNOWBALL FIGHT STARTS IN 3, 2, 1!!”
As soon as he had finished his sentence, a loud scream was heard. I looked up and saw Sirius, Alisha and Tim running towards us with several snowballs in their hands. It seemed as though this was their tactic. It wasn’t very smart; we could easily get them from our fort.
“Quickly Soph, pick up a snowball!” James said.
He and Adam looked at each other, and then at me.
“Okay Sophia; we’re going to throw as many snowballs at them as possible. On the count of three.”
We stood up and started throwing our snowballs. Our opponents did the same. It seemed that Lily’s team had joined the fight. Snowballs swished past me, but luckily I didn’t get hit. I hit Lily right in the stomach, and managed to hit Tim on his hand.
“I’M HIT! RETREAT!” Tim screamed when I had hit him, and his team immediately started running back towards their fort.
James threw a snowball at Sirius that hit him right on the arse.
“OI!” Sirius screamed, but he didn’t turn around.
The other team had retreated as well. We sat down and breathed for a while. James had been hit, but Adam and I had surprisingly managed to not get hit. We knew that Tim, Sirius, Lily and Joshua were hit too, so that left Zach and Alisha.
Of course, the others would have to be hit two more times before they would be out. We discussed some more tactics and got ready for round 2.
After another fifteen minutes, only Sirius, James, Alisha, Zach and I were left. All of us had been hit two times, so the next hit would ‘kill’ us.
I was sneaking up to Sirius and Alisha’s fort when somebody jumped on top of me. I fell down and turned around so I was lying on my back. Zach was sitting on top of me with a large snowball in his hand.
“Oh no you wouldn’t…” I said.
“Wouldn’t I?” He said and smirked.
“Not if I bribe you?” I said and smiled innocently.
“Hm… depends on what I’ll get” he answered and flashed that gorgeous smile of his.
“How about this?” I said and grabbed him by his collar, dragging him closer to me.
Our lips met, and I could feel him smiling. The kiss got more and more heated, and we were practically snogging when a snowball hit Zach’s head. We broke apart, and saw Sirius standing there, looking irritated.
“Can’t stay away from each other longer than an hour, can you?”
“Piss off Sirius” I said and glared at him.
He looked surprised at first; his eyebrows rose and he was quiet. Then he frowned and turned around.
“Whatever…” he muttered.
I was really irritated. He had no right to make such a comment. Sure, he could throw snowballs at us seeing as we still were in the fight but he wasn’t the right person to talk about a relationship. I mean, look at his latest record.
Zach glared at Sirius before walking away. He joined the others that were standing a bit further away watching, and I could see that Alisha and James were among them. That meant that it was only Sirius and me left. I didn’t care that much anymore though; it felt as if Sirius had ruined it.
Sirius had turned back to me again, and we just stood staring at each other for a while, neither of us saying a word. Then suddenly, he brought out his hand from behind his back and threw a snowball at me. I dodged it and started running.
“COME ON SOPHIA, YOU CAN GET HIM!” I heard James yell.
Several snowballs swished past me, but I managed to get to my fort without getting hit. I gathered some snow quickly and rolled them into balls. I was suddenly determined to win this; Sirius was not going to get this one.
I was rolling a snowball when Sirius jumped over my fort and landed on me. I fell on my back and suddenly our faces were only centimetres apart. I looked into Sirius’ eyes; he had that steely, cold look in his eyes. When his eyes met mine, they changed. His grey eyes suddenly looked really warm.
My body was frozen. I couldn’t move. My head was screaming at me to move away and hit that bastard with a snowball, but that look in his eyes made it impossible to move. He hadn’t looked at me that way for a month. Hell, I don’t even think he had ever looked at me like that ever before.
“SOPHIA FOR FUCKS SAKE; DO SOMETHING!”
James’ voice brought me out of my trance, and before I could think I brought up my hand and smashed the snowball into Sirius’ face. Sirius looked completely bewildered, and I gasped. Why the hell had I done that?
He quickly got up and wiped the snow out from his face. He looked at me and frowned, before walking away to the others.
I quickly got up and followed him. James and Adam were cheering. Alisha and Tim were sulking and asked Sirius why he hadn’t hit me. He just shrugged and started walking towards the castle.
I looked at Lily and Remus, but they looked just as confused as I did. Sure, it had been kind of mean of me to rub snow over his face, but normally he would have just laughed at it.
I looked at Zach, feeling a bit guilty. Sirius and I lay in that position for a while. How did that look from somebody else’s point of view?
Zach was looking irritated. He was looking at Sirius, his eyes narrowed. Luckily, no one else noticed.
We all started heading towards the castle. Most of us were cold and soaking wet, so we all longed for hot showers. Zach and I were walking a bit behind the others. I noticed that he looked a bit tensed.
I asked him if there was something wrong, but he said that everything was fine even though it was clear that it wasn’t. I didn’t want to nag though, so I let it go.
It wasn’t until three days later, when him and I were sitting in the library, that he brought it up.
“What’s going on between you and Sirius?”
I sighed. I had been waiting for that question to come.
“We’re just friends, Zach. Or, we were friends until he turned into a completely different person.”
Zach snorted. “Do you really expect me to believe that? It’s obvious that Sirius likes you, and I don’t mean as a friend.”
I raised my eyebrows and looked at him. Was he kidding? Because it was obvious that Sirius didn’t like me. I mean, why would he snog many other girls if that was the case? Zach was being really paranoid.
“You’ve got this completely wrong, Zach. Sirius doesn’t like me that way.”
“How can you know?”
“I just do. Besides, it doesn’t matter. You are the one I like.”
Zach snorted again. “Yeah, right.”
I rolled my eyes. He was being so ridiculous! He had no right what so ever to accuse me of liking Sirius. I wasn’t even talking to him at the moment! Sure, the incident at the snowball fight may have looked bad, but come on! Why didn’t he believe me?
“You know what Zach” I said as I stood up and gathered my things. “I don’t feel like talking about this right now. Your accusations are absurd, and I can’t believe that you don’t even want to listen to me. I know how I feel, and you are the one that I want. But not if you’re going to act like this.”
I turned around and started to walk away quickly. I just wanted to go as far away from him as possible. He didn’t follow me, and I didn’t know whether I should be glad about that or not. I was confused about our argument.
I mean, if he was jealous of me being with other guys, he would have said something about Remus or James too. It wasn’t just Sirius that was physical. So why did he only mention him?
I thought about this while I was walking to the common room. I wanted to tell the girls about the argument, but when I entered the common room I saw that the whole gang was sitting next to the fire. Including Sirius. Great.
I couldn’t stand sitting there, acting happy so I tried to sneak up to my dorm without them noticing me. I turned around while I was climbing the stairs and my eyes met a pair of stormy, grey ones.
I froze for a millisecond, before turning around again. When I entered the dorm and flung myself on the bed, I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. Why was I so taken by his change of behaviour? I had other close friends.
But I knew that it was different. Sirius and I had a special connection. We were really close. Together with James, we really had something extra. And now Sirius was acting so weird. He hadn’t spoken to me since the snowball fight. It was obvious that he was ignoring me.
The weird thing was that he was only acting like that towards me. He hadn’t got another girlfriend yet, so he was still his ‘old self’ towards all the others, except me. It was as if I had done something to him, but I couldn’t remember what.
I mean, sure I had smashed a snowball in his face, but usually he would have just laughed about it.
I thought about what Zach had said.
“It’s obvious that Sirius likes you, and I don’t mean as a friend.”
I laughed as I repeated the sentence. The thought really was absurd. There was no way that Sirius fancied me. I was far from his type: too plain and not beautiful enough. Sirius could get anyone he wanted, so why would he want me of all people when there were so many better girls for him?
No, Zach was being stupid.
I crawled under my cover and closed my eyes. It wasn’t late, but I wanted to escape my thoughts. They didn’t get me anywhere. In fact, they only made me more confused. And I definitely didn’t need more confusion right now.
Yes, I know; I wrote about a snowball fight. Could it get more "Harry Potter Fanfic-cliché?". I don't think so. Well, I don't care, because it was fun to write about.
Tell me what you think about it, and what you think will happen! I'm curious about your theories :) I'm also thinking about creating a "meet-the-author-thead".
Anyway, leave a review! Or two, if you want to ;)
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