That thought sends shivers down my spine. I am all alone in this messed up world. Well not completely alone. I look down to my abdomen as I say this.
Eight months from now, I will have my own little being to care for. I hate the idea of this kind of responsibility. I am fifteen. I am too young to do this alone.
A week before this point I was fighting at Hogwarts against the death eaters, as were my best and only friend; Nina Thompson, my boyfriend; Alan Webber, my parents, and my older sister. I still go to school, as did my boyfriend, best friend, and sister. My parents lived in Hogsmead Village. All of them are now dead. I couldn’t tell you who killed any of them except for Nina, who I saw mauled by Fenrir Greyback. The memory will haunt me forever.
I am currently residing in my parents’ house. Nobody has come here to find me. I assume that the ministry officials who were identifying bodies believed me to be dead. With one’s whole family dead, who would be dumb enough to not identify themselves? I suppose that’s what makes this situation a slight blessing. I’ve been able to slip through the cracks of the system, able to live without shame of what has happened.
Now that I think on it, I will probably be found here when the ministry comes to take the house, since it has no owner. It’s not as if I can really go anywhere else. I had no other friends than Nina, and Alan’s parents had been killed by death eaters weeks prior to the battle or the, er, perhaps I’ll just call it the incident. Either way, he’d been parentless for a couple months prior to the battle. And I’m knutless anyways, so I’d have no chance of getting my own place.
As you can probably tell at this point, I haven’t told anyone. Who would I tell? The stray tabby cat that likes to eerily sit on garden walls and simply stare? Nina’s grandfather, who would likely just yell at me and point me out of the house? Damn that conservative bat of a man. McGonagall?
Actually, that may have been the first good idea I’ve come up with. Surely she’ll be named headmaster once the school reopens. She's my absolute favorite teacher. She’d be able to come up with some sort of idea.
I resolve to begin searching for her tomorrow. Tonight I need to eat. I didn’t have lunch, as I threw up right when I began to get out the supplies to make a sandwich, and after that I’m not sure anyone else would eat too. I can’t just think about myself when I want to starve, I need to think of my child.
The idea still feels strange on my tongue. I suppose it’s natural. I found out four days ago. And even with unlimited time with only your own head for company things like this are hard to comprehend so quickly.
We used the spell, and the potion. How could this have happened? Does Merlin have some great plan for me? Get me pregnant, then take away my family and friends so that I’ll learn some great lesson. It sounds like cheesy muggle movie!
Oh great. I’ve accidentally flung butter at my face! Merlin what next?
As I move to wipe away the butter I realize that my face is wet. I’ve been crying. I should be smarter than this. I’m a Ravenclaw.
This just makes me begin crying again.
And two hours later, with a whole box of macaroni and cheese devoured, and with me in a nightgown I am still crying.
Why me? Why me?
AN: I know that I didn't plan on writing anymore Harry Potter fanfiction, but this hit me and I couldn't let it go. I don't have an exact plan for this story, but I plan to plan it out once finals are over. Please review and make my day :)
AN2: Edited July 21, 2009 for POV error, and house error.
Printer Friendly Version
