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It's a funny thing.. time by shanelizken
Chapter 3 : "My name is Draco Malfoy and I'm a slimy git."
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 10

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George felt himself be thrown into yet another disappearing act, but when he opened his eyes he was in the exact same place. Only it appeared to be breakfast. Judging by the sparse number of students at such an early hour, George assumed it was a Sunday. To his left he saw Ron shoveling down bacon and eggs with a frustrated look on his face. He watched as he glanced up, narrowed his eyes, and then proceeded to dig himself deeper into his breakfast.

George realized his frustration’s source immediately. He remembered walking in on this. Looking to his right he saw Hermione walking determinedly toward Ron. She took a seat on the opposite side of him.

“Ronald, you don’t honestly believe that Harry would put his name into that goblet do you?” she said as she leaned halfway across the table, looking slightly concerned and mostly irate. Ron only looked up for a brief moment to meet her eyes before turning his attention back to his breakfast.

“Of course not. Wouldn’t dream of thinking such a thing,” Ron managed to get out sarcastically with a full mouth of toast. Hermione looked positively furious.

“But Ron—“ Hermione began before Ron cut her off.

“You’d think it would be enough for him. Blimey, he’s already ‘the boy who lived.’ Does he seriously need another title to add to his fame and fortune?” Ron was now turning red with anger. Just then, the twins waltzed up to sit on either side of him. 

“Aw Ronniekins you look a bit flustered,” younger George said. Immediately, Ron stood up from his seat and stalked off. Hermione let out a deep sigh and began to rub her temples. The twins sat simultaneously on the opposite side of the table.

“What’s the matter love?” Fred asked as he shoveled food onto his plate. “Ronnie bothering you with his highly mature emotional antics?” Hermione looked up and smiled for a moment before the look of frustration returned to her face.

“It’s just so ridiculous that something as stupid as a misunderstanding can come between the two of them. They’re supposed to be best friends,” Hermione said as she spooned some eggs onto her own plate. “The year’s just begun and already they’re fighting.” She groaned in frustration. “It’s going to be a rough year.” The twins looked at each other, and decided some comforting words right then would be better than humor.

“I’m sure it’ll get better Hermione,” George said.

“And besides—“ Fred said.

“We’ve got a Gryffindor CHAMPIONNNN!” the twins sang together. Okay, so humor did win over. But humor could be comforting too. Hermione laughed and suddenly checked the time. 

“You guys are the best, but I do have to run,” she said as she piled a load of toast on a napkin. She stood from her chair and looked at the twins. “Thank you,” Hermione said with earnest gratitude. She smiled and waved as she walked to the Great Hall doors. 

George looked over at the younger versions of himself and his twin. He noticed the wide grin on Fred’s face as he continued to eat his breakfast, possibly thinking about the curly-haired brunette. He then watched as his younger self ate in complete oblivion of his brother’s feelings. He realized he was a bit hungry himself and thought maybe.. just maybe he could grab one of those delicious looking scones off the nearest plate. As he reached for the possible cure to his growling stomach, he watched the room disappear before his eyes.

George was in the Hospital wing, a place he had practically considered a second home after the many bludgers to the head and inventions gone horribly wrong. He looked over to see his younger twin sitting on a cot with a big bag of ice over one eye. George remembered this. They had just begun inventing a trick telescope that, when squeezed, would lash out like a little fist and punch the nearest unsuspecting individual. Unfortunately, they had charmed the telescope a bit too strongly, so the bruise left wasn’t one that could be removed with any typical spell. It also turned out to leave the victim a little woozy and incoherent, a minor side effect. After that they decided to tone down the charms on the invention, but not before Fred had gotten a lovely shiner.

The hospital wing doors flew open as a bushy-haired Hermione, who oddly enough resembled something close to a beaver, ran into the room practically bawling in embarrassment. Madam Pomfrey turned her attention away from Fred momentarily as she examined the girl’s rapidly growing front teeth, which now were almost at her waist. She muttered a spell that stopped them from growing. 

“Now, now. Calm down dearie. Just take a seat right over there and I’ll come back with a shrinking charm and some potion,” Madam Pomfrey said, gesturing to the bed just to the right of Fred’s. Hermione walked over and sat down, still shaking with tears. Fred looked rather concerned about her, though a dazed look still remained in his eyes from his recent knock-out. He stood up and walked over to sit at the end of her bed. 

“Well we have an awful habit of running into each other here. What’re you in for?” Fred said giving her a little wink. Hermione sniffled and attempted to smile, but you wouldn’t have been able to tell regardless due to the massive teeth blocking her mouth. Fred then became serious for a moment. “Who’s the slimy git that did that to you? Want me to hex him so he’s covered in boils? Acne? Overly large nose hairs?” 

Hermione stifled a giggle but still a sad look returned to her face almost immediately. The large teeth protruding from her mouth appeared to have made it very difficult for her to talk. She reached for the bedside table and grabbed a piece of parchment and quill. Malfoy. Fred’s eyes narrowed in disgust.

“I’ll handle it then,” Fred said with a slight smile and mischievous look in his eyes. Madam Pomfrey was back to shrink Hermione’s teeth back to normal.

“Now after I perform this you’re gums are going to be pretty sore, so I’ll have you drink this potion, sit for ten minutes or so, and then you can be on your way.” She handed Hermione a mirror. “Just let me know when they look back to normal size.” She muttered a spell and watched as Hermione’s front teeth shrunk back to normal size.

“That’s good Madam Pomfrey. Thank you so much,” Hermione said smiling now that she no longer resembled a rabbit. Madam Pomfrey left the potion on Hermione’s bedside table and went back to her office to make a stronger paste for Fred’s bruise. Fred looked at Hermione with a puzzled expression.

“Hermione, not to say that you don’t look completely ravishing...” to which Hermione rolled her eyes smiling, “…but your smile looks a bit different.” Hermione blushed with a little embarrassment and gulped down her potion. 

“My front teeth were a bit larger before. I don’t know. I just wanted a prettier smile,” she said with a shrug. Fred smiled. 

“Well I think you look positively dashing madam,” he said as he stood and bowed dramatically. Hermione laughed as he stood back up, only to see Madam Pomfrey on her way back with a horrifically vomit colored bruising paste. As Madam Pomfrey slathered it over Fred’s black eye, she called over her shoulder that Hermione could go back to her classes. Gathering her things, Hermione looked at Fred whose face was now covered in paste.

“Why Frederick, you look positively dashing,” she said mockingly as she curtsied and batted her eyelashes noticeably. With that, she turned and walked towards the exit of the hospital wing. George watched as Fred laughed, irritating Madam Pomfrey with his movement.

“That better not be sarcasm I hear Ms. Granger,” he shouted down to her. “These looks are practically god-like!” Hermione waved with a mischievous smile on her face, and left the hospital wing. 

George threw himself into a chair by one of the beds. I’ve missed so much he thought. It had explained so much. Fred had returned to the common room that evening with revenge on his mind. Without explaining to George what was the matter, he left for the library. The following morning at breakfast, Fred had been particularly cheerful. As Malfoy walked into the Great Hall, anytime someone had said his name, he automatically repeated, “My name is Draco Malfoy and I am a slimy git.” It had only lasted a day, but the look on Draco’s face had put a smile or smirk on every Gryffindor’s face, more specifically, a smile on a certain curly-haired brunette.

George finally sat comfortably when he felt himself being thrown into another memory. This time, one he remembered. 

George found himself sitting in his own dormitory, on his own bed. His past self and his twin were sitting in the middle of the room playing a game of Exploding Snap with Hermione’s cat Crookshanks looking on. There was a sudden knock and in came Hermione herself. She looked quizzically at Crookshanks for just a moment before she turned her attention to Fred and George.

“Oh hello boys how are you two?” she said quickly with an overly wide smile on her face. “Playing Exploding Snap I see. Looks like fun!” Her voice rose higher and higher with each word. The twins looked at her suspiciously. 

“You’re being awfully nice today,” George said.

“Too nice,” Fred said with narrowed eyes and a smirk on his face. Hermione looked down, fiddling her hands. 

“I was wondering if you guys could do me a favor,” Hermione said with a sigh. The twins looked at each other and grinned.

“Hermione Granger—“

“Needs our brilliance?” Then the two of them hopped to their feet simultaneously. “How could we possibly refuse?” they said in unison. Hermione flushed red.

“I was wondering if you could help me get a hold of Dungbombs,” Hermione said. At the looks of shock on the twins’ faces she hurriedly added, “You can’t ask me what they’re for though! I’m supposed to keep it quiet. They’re for a friend.” 


“For a friend she says! Do you hear that Fred?” Fred, however, let the smile fall from his face due to the serious look on Hermione’s. He sighed.

“Oh all right. How many do you need?” Fred asked as he walked over to his bed and pulled out a trunk. Hermione followed him curiously.

“Uhm—well however many it would take to clear out the common room I suppose,” she said as she watched Fred open the trunk. Inside was an incredibly organized collection of items that Hermione was sure were forbidden by Filch. Fred pulled two Dungbombs out of the side pocket and handed them to her. “If you ever need anything you know you can just ask,” he whispered. With a smile he stood up quickly. “Well now that we have completely corrupted Ms. Granger, George, what do you suppose we do with her?” Fred asked his brother with a ridiculous wiggle of his eyebrows. Hermione looked nervously between the two of them as they came closer.

“Oh darn look at the time! Must be off,” she said quickly as they chased her out the door laughing. As the trio ran down the stairs, George felt himself be wrenched away to another time.

A/N: I own nothing except the missing moments!

Edit: Thank you pieismyfriend from TDA for the lovely chapter image. I hope you all like the story! Please read and review! Also, I don't know if Fred is actually short for Frederick, I just added that for humor :)

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