Chapter 1 : Memory
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See, the natural thing about us girls is that we always want what we cannot have. However, what exactly was the thing that I could not have? I mean, I was Hermione Granger; I could fix anything with a flick of my wand or a wave of my hand. I had read more books by the end of my first year at Hogwarts than most people would read in their entire lives. In my fourth year, I had managed to get the famous Bulgarian Quidditch seeker, Viktor Krum, to ask me to a ball. So the question really is, what couldn't I have? The answer, after hours of contemplating, was quite simple; he was a redhead named Ronald Weasley.
For years, I watched him continuously fight an endless battle against himself. Sometimes he would win, but most of the time he would fail to do so. I wanted to say that it was Harry's fault for making Ron feel so weak and vulnerable, but that was not true. Harry did not get to pick who he was. Instead, I remained by both of their sides. When Harry needed me, I was there for him any time of night or day. When Ron needed me, I would help him think through every one of his tasks. There was close to nothing that I would not do for those two boys. However, as the years went by, Harry became more and more famous, and Ron was left in the shadows, unknown to most, or simply addressed as the best friend of Harry Potter. I saw how it aged him, and how he was losing the inner battle, but even I could only help him to a certain extent.
As more years passed by, we found ourselves arguing about the stupidest of things such as homework and what he was wearing, but secretly and unnoticed by most, I think that we became closer. During the night, we would sneak down to the common room and cuddle together; nobody would suspect anything deeming our friendship connection. So many would always tell us that we would make such a lovely couple, but when we heard these comments we would snap, usually sending the person running in the other direction.
As seventh year drew closer, our friendship had a similar effect. We were faced with hard times, but because we had each other, we made it through. I knew that he loved me when he looked me in the eyes, for his would sparkle as though he had just witnessed a miracle, something that, to him, was impossible but nevertheless amazing. When he held me in his sturdy arms, I felt like I was in heaven. I was protected from all harm- nothing could touch me. He was my everything, my knight in shining armor, my Romeo, my Prince Charming. Without him, I did not amount to anything. There was no need for air if he was not by my side, and so life lost all meaning. When I realized that he was my everything, I realized that I could not have him. I could not keep him to myself, for even I did not deserve him.
Weeks turned to months, months turned to years, and my love for Ron kept growing in a wondrous sense. The less I saw of Ron, the more I wanted him. It came to the point where I would have Harry tell me where he would be on Saturdays. Of course, he never suspected anything, but nevertheless, I wanted to be near him, and would make up stupid excuses to see him whenever I found the time in my busy schedule. However, he had seemed to give up on me, thinking that it was not safe for him to see me anymore. For weeks, I argued with him, begging him not to leave me, but he turned his back on me as if my pleadings were deaf to his ears. I thought that our love would last through the war, but he had seen something, and it had changed him in a way that I never dreamed possible. The man that I had once fallen in love with was gone, and was replaced by someone who was stone cold and emotionless. He had seen all the lives taken- one of his brothers had died in the fight and he had nearly lost his only sister. Those things take time to get around, and I waited for him. I waited five years, but he never came around, and I knew then that the man I had once loved was hopelessly gone.
That day, I walked away because I refused to wait for him any longer. Yes, I loved him and wanted to be next to his side. Yes, I cared about helping him make it through his constant misery. Yes, I would have done anything for him, but I realized that sometimes the people who you love most of all are the people who you cannot help. It is not because you do not care, but sometimes it is because you care too much, and sometimes they only need to find a way to help themselves.
The years have been long since I last saw Ron Weasley. Sure, we visit every Saturday, but he is married to a blonde who is deeply in love with him. I have not laid eyes on the real Ron Weasley in almost fifteen years. Through all the battles that he faced, I always knew that he would have to lose one, and the one that he lost was the one that separated us forever.
For once, I, Hermione Granger, was not able to have what I wanted. I gave it my all, listening to him, helping him, and being by his side every second that I could, but I could not make him love me. I could not have my perfect Prince Charming.
A/N: I decided to try my hand at a Ron/Hermione. I wrote this mainly for a challenge, the whole point was to use no words in the story, just description and emotion. I would like to thank Indigo Seas, Ilia, Cedriclover, and WeasleyTwins for betaing this.
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