Chapter 1 : without you
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I tried to make the transition from one pov to the other clear with markers, but if it really isn’t, let me know. As always, I love reviews on my work. Please read this work and tell me what you think. ~Manya
Disclaimer: HP is JKR’s not mine. The song is credited to its author below.
(song: without you; artist: plumb; album: beautiful lumps of coal c.2002)
I said some things / to you I think that / I shouldn’t have said/ I spoke out of turn/ and hurt you/ I’ve learned that it hurts me back/ oh what could be/ worse than me/ losing you
Tell me what to say to you and maybe we’ll be just fine. There’s a cloud hanging over you, darkening the sparkle in your eyes. You walked through a door without me—what happened on the other side? I tried to talk to you—your message said meet me here. You say hello and sit down, never looking at me. The smile on your face is strained. You claim there’s nothing wrong, but you won’t meet my gaze. It’s a lie, I know you. I know there’s something going on. Tell me the truth and I’ll be fine.
What if you never come back/ what would I do without you?
Let me tell you what I want to say and we’ll be just fine. This dark shadow over me should not be over you too—please let me protect you. What I do is for a good reason; this power is too strong to ignore. If I don’t fight it alone, with everything I know how to do, I couldn’t live. I told you, you can’t understand. I won’t let you get hurt. I wanted to meet with you to tell you I’m fine, so you can look at me and know its true. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to shove you away. Let it go and I’ll be fine.
I got in the car/ turned on the lights and the radio/ I drove really fast/ and I cried harder than you know/ oh where were you and why did I say those things
If it is really impossible, then teach me how to fly; I won’t let go. I care about you, that’s why. What don’t you think I could understand? That these are dangerous times? That I would do anything to protect those I love? Why are you pushing me away? Why won’t you look me in the eye? Why does fear wash over you in waves? You’re hiding something. Just tell me—please let me in.
Is there any way/ you can forgive me/ for what I’ve done/ is there any way/ you could love me still/ for being so wrong/ can you forgive me/ can you forgive me?
If I knew how to find a happy thought, I’d show you how to soar. I can’t tell you that I would rather run away then face this head-on, that I’d rather cling to you than this ‘I must be strong’ mentality. Can’t you see: this is me protecting you. If I pull away, maybe, just maybe, you’ll have a greater chance of surviving this. I won’t look at you because I fear if I do, I’ll never stop. If I let the overwhelming urge to love you take me, then I won’t be able to be what I must. I want to let you in—I simply can’t.
What if you/never came back/ what would I do/without you?
Didn’t he say love was your greatest weapon? Then give in. Let it strengthen you, let loving me be an asset to your goal, not a hindrance. Those who are alone will fall, those with others succeed. If you have to go, then go, but know you’ll always be with me. Always. You can’t take that back because you say words I know you don’t mean. I may hate that you won’t let me in, and I may continue to be a part of your life—though it is going to break my heart over and over again—but I will not let you go so easily. I love you. When you come back, I’ll be here.
You’re right—love is what I should cling to. And I do. That’s why I love you. Why I will always love you.
A/N: Alright, so honesty is needed here. What did you think? Please leave a review. ~Manya
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