Chapter 1 : I: In which there are no nose-dribblers allowed
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It is also important to mention that this will be a prologue to an epic collaboration that I have going with Elesphyl (Kali) that will also touch on the Weasley's Finaly Year Dare. She is also making an awesome prologue entitled "Flush"! Hitch on to her author page and check it out like made because you'll laugh your butt off reading it!
Of course, this wouldn't be a Rita story if there wasn't an llyralen cast list! Whoopah!
Katie McGrath as Victoire Wealey
Keira Knightley as Dominique Weasley
Wentworth Miller as Fred Weasley II
Leona Lewis as Roxanne Weasley
Emily Browning as Molly Weasley II
Eddie Redmayne as Louis Weasley
Liam Aiken as Hugo Weasley
On with the show!
Standard Disclaimer: Everything you recognize belongs to JK Rowling.
He wasn't the kind to go thirsty in a pub. All he had to do was sit on one of the stools and wait for someone to recognize his face. After that, the drinks would flow, and stories told would just add a further layer to the legend that was attached to his name.
Of course, he didn't make a habit of this. Using one's face to get a couple of free beers hardly seemed to be the noble thing to do. Yet, perhaps for ego's sake, he ventured off to his favorite pubs, full of stories waiting to be told and a dry throat waiting to be quenched.
It wasn't always like this. Before all of the glory and booze, there was just a boy of mediocre existence. A boy with nothing but a famous name. Not too long ago, he was just Louis Weasley. Even worse, he was just another Weasley in a continuously growing briar patch filled with them. He was nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing unique. He had no hidden destiny or special talent.
The years had done him well. No longer the boy Weasley, but the legend Louis. To know his feat, you must first know his tale. And much like any story out there, it all started with the beginning.
It was theoretically impossible for any grown Weasley to crouch through the low door and fit into the cramped space, but like the little bumblebee - with its fat body and small wings - the Weasley overcame such theoretical odds. Not only was there one Weasley inside, but five of them (with one Lupin to boot), all give or take six feet tall. With another one just on her way up, logical science could kiss the Weasley's arse.
The younger ones ones were trying to grab on to the rope ladder as the 'practically-adults' pulled Dominique up as she hung on one of the steps. She stuck her tongue out to Hugo, the little monster he was. Ginger hair was the sign of the devil. That one deserved a stake through the heart and some holy water on his corpse. Almost as bad as Uncle Fred and George once were.
The old sign of "NO GIRLS ALLOWED" that had once graced the front door of the treehouse was now replaced with an ever-convenient, "NO DRIBBLING NOSES ALLOWED". Last summer it had been, "NO POOPIE PANTS ALLOWED". Of course, their littler cousins were no longer the toddlers they once where when the treehouse was built, but it paid to keep the club rather elitist. Besides, with all of them in there, the branch might as well cave in.
"No kids allowed! Scram!" Dominique finally said as she got unto the platform. She ducked her head low enough to get through the small door. They were hardly children anymore, but why they still insisted on meeting in that old tree-house was beyond all of them.
They sat around like little Indians on the rough panel floor and kept their legs close to their chests, giving some ample moving space. It was still cramped though, like a can of sardines, but by this time, they'd already gotten used to it, and decided to ignore the discomfort rather than complain about it.
"D'you think we should let them up here one day?"
"Perish the thought! All those years of fortitude, we just let them in namby-pamby?" Teddy winked at Victoire. "Nah, Maybe next year."
Louis couldn't help but wrinkle his nose. "We'd have to fix the place up to hold all of us, and I'm not really in the mood to work on a ruddy old treehouse in summers just so a bunch of nose-dribblers can get inside," he joked.
Roxanne was quick to laugh as well. "We'll make Ted do it! After all, his job isn't what I'd call demanding, now is it? What d'you say your job was again, Lupin?"
"At least there's a job to be had. Assistant to the Assistant to the Assistant Editor is a perfectly grand job. Besides, I don't have the wost, now do I? Right Bagel Bitch"
"The term is intern, I'll have you know," Fred said loftily as he heavy-handedly swatted Teddy's head.
Roxanne kicked both of their legs, bringing their conversation to a halting stop. "Oi! 'Nuff about your pathetic lives. We have a more pathetic life to discuss, aye, Little Lou?"
"Our baby's in his final year."
"No tears now, Vic. Our brother Lou-Lou here has his big boy pants on. He can handle himself this year."
Louis completely forgot he was in the treehouse as he sprung up to his feet, hitting his head on the roof, causing the whole tree to tremor.
"Oi!" Fred pulled him down. "Excited bunny aren't we? No need to get your knickers in a twist. School doesn't start until tomorrow, you know."
"Who's excited?! I don't even know why we do these stupid dares! Haven't your sadistic cravings been filled yet?!"
"Of course you have to do it. We've all done it."
"I nicked Mrs. Norris and shaved her bald. Nickie put a singing spell on the school for ten days, Fred and Rox lit bloody Gryffindor tower on fire. Even Molly was in on the fun last year. I mean she isn't exactly a Naughty Nancy, but she managed to tie a naked Headboy to the Beech Tree! If you say no, then you'll be the only Weasley to wuss his way out of the Dare! I will not have that be my brother."
"Well, what about Ted? He never did anything!"
"I cloaked all the bathrooms, remember? No one could jimmy for a week. I think that very well counts."
Louis winced. There was no way out of the Final Year Dare. Every Weasley kid, even the honorary ones, took it and went out of Hogwarts as nameless legends. Why the bloody hell had they had to make that stupid pinky swear that first day their parents told them stories about their adventures in Hogwarts? The infantile, idiotic kid mind! If present him could meet past him, he'd shoot past him in the head.
He reluctantly took his school letter out of his pocket and handed it over to Roxanne. "'Dear Mr. L. Weasley,'" she read. "'Welcome to another wonderful and exciting year of learning here at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. As you enter your final year on this hallowed ground of education, remember that you will be leaving your legacy, as one leaves footprints on the sand. Strive for excellence! Make this year count. Make it memorable. Leave your mark in the school's history. Once again, welcome and draco dormiens!' Signed, Professor C. L. Puffin, Headmaster." She pasted it to the wall, holding all of their final year letters and she smiled. She wiped an imaginary tear from the corner of her eye. "Hear that, Lou. Leave your mark on the school's history!"
Louis couldn't share the same enthusiasm.
"And what a year it will be," Fred laughed, slapping him on the back. "You heard what the man said: 'Make it memorable!'" he mimmicked Professor Puffin's annoyingly nagging voice.
"You've already made the sale, you don't have to keep pitching the damn thing," Louis grumbled. Bunch of gits. That's what his cousins were. Gits with sadistic smiles. "What do I have to do?"
Molly, sitting next to him put her arm around his shoulder and clasped on tight. "We decided to go easy on you. It's gonna be a walk in the bloody park."
"Of course!" Fred chimed in. "It's easy! All you have to do is get inside the Headmaster's Office, and steal Old Minnie McGonagall's portrait. Easy as that."
"You get in. You get out. You don't get caught." Dominique chimed in. "It should be like taking money from Mum's biscuit tin."
Ever the drama queen, Louis turned his head to the wall and started banging it repeatedly, shaking the tree house as he went. Easy? EASY! The nutters had no idea how hard it would be! Before you even steal a thing like that, you had to get in. Snag there. "How the bloody hell am I supposed to get in the Headmaster's office and steal a ruddy painting without anyone seeing me in and out?! Wards all round, traps in the entrance and exits, the git even has a bloody paintings watching every move! I should know! I've been trying to get in there since I was eleven!"
"We know, Lou. Why do you think we picked it for you?"
Molly was supposed to be the good one. Bollocks. She was just as evil as the rest of them. Mark the red hair and freckles. Mark them as you'd mark the 666 on the forehead of the Anti-Christ. Be very afraid.
"I'd tell you all to go to hell, but I'm guessing the Devil doesn't want you going home just yet."
This would be one hell of a year.