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Diagnose Your Own Magical Maladies. by gocnocturna
Chapter 9 : The List
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 20

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Chapter 9-the list.
AN: Sorry about the long wait. I’m still having some issues, but it’ll hopefully get better. Please let me know what you think, I could always use the inspiration. Thanks.
“She made it down the stairs before realized that she probably should not take her nice, new, valuable book with her outside. She left it on the table in the common room and went on her walk.”
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That was where Draco found the book when he came down from his room, planning on sneaking down to the kitchens for a snack. He saw the book lying open and could not resist the temptation to see what Hermione had most recently been reading. 

Once he had read the four diagnoses that were on the page, Draco suddenly understood. She was not suddenly lacking intelligence, she was sick. He re-read the four diagnoses and did not particularly like the sound of any of them. Knowing which ones most likely fit her symptoms best, he was curious as to how Hermione was taking it. She was not in the common room, so he knocked on her bedroom door, planning on teasing her about forgetting her things downstairs, but she was not there either. Deciding to get everything sorted out later, Draco headed up to bed. 
Hermione came back from her walk around the lake having made a decision. If indeed she did have Fluxi Magus, or even if she did just have Veneficus Flabra, she was not going to let that interfere with her life. If she had Veneficus Flabra, then it would go away on its own, if not, she did not need to be made comfortable, she was going to live her last months to the fullest. She had no intention in the slightest of telling anybody, and she was firmly resolved not to go to the nurse. She picked up her book, not even noticing that it was not where she had left it, and went to bed, determined to treat each day like it was her last. 
The next day Hermione made good on her promise to herself. She woke up as early as she comfortable could, so that she might have as long of a day as possible. She took a nice, hot shower and dressed in a pair of cute, light colored, tight jeans and a skin tight, brown shirt. She put on a pair of brown ballet flat, magically dried her hair, and used a spell she had read about once, which made her frizzy brown hair smoother, with soft curls, rather than uncontrollable ones. She wore a simple silver chain around her neck with a locket as its only pendant. Inside the locket she had a tiny picture of her parents on their wedding day, and a tiny picture or Ron, Harry and her one summer at the Burrow. She put on a pale blush, light eye-shadow and a peach colored lip-gloss. She looked much prettier than usual, since she never put real time into her looks, and she was happy. She packed up her books; leaving Diagnose Your Own Magical Maladies locked safely in her room, and headed down to breakfast. 

When she entered the Great Hall, a few heads turned. She definitely looked different from usual, but most people just smiled, a bit surprised, nodded approvingly and returned their attention to their food and conversations. When Ron and Harry saw her they were shocked. 

“Why so dressed up?” Ron asked through a mouthful of food. “What’s the occasion?”

“There is no occasion,” Hermione replied, “I just decided to spend a little bit more time getting ready in the morning, that’s all. And please” she added, “don’t talk with your mouth full. It’s disgusting.” 

Both boys shared a look, a bit confused by her sudden desire to look nice, but left it at that, not wanting to make her angry. 

Draco had not seen Hermione in the common room that morning, since she’d left so early, so as soon as he entered the Great Hall his eyes searched her out. His jaw nearly dropped. She was acting normally, eating and chatting with her friends, and she looked fantastic. He was stunned. She obviously had not told her friends. Knowing Scar-head and Weasel, they would be worrying over her like crazy if they knew. Draco was not quite sure what to make of her reaction, but decided that it did not matter. It just meant that he might be a bit safer to tease her since she was taking it so well. 
The first day was relatively mild. Other than dressing up and looking nicer Hermione did not do anything too shocking. Realizing that she needed to really enjoy herself, Hermione resorted to her safeguard. She went to the library. 

Hermione looked up recreational books for once in her life. She was doing research, but for once no textbook would be able to help her. She used wizard newspapers and diaries and teen books in order to create a list of the most important things one must do before you die. She knew that she was extremely unlikely to fulfill several of them, but she wrote them down anyways. 

Her list, in no particular order, looked like this after her ‘research’:

1. Skip classes for a whole day, with a friend, and just goof off.
2. Kiss a guy.
3. Drink alcohol.
4. Get a detention.
5. Stay up all night to watch the sun set, look at the stars and watch the sun rise.
6. Bathe in chocolate.
7. Dance barefoot in the rain.
8. Have sex.
9. Write a book.
10. Become an animagus.
11. Buy and wear lacy thong and bra.
12. Learn to speak a foreign language.
13. Learn to play an instrument.
14. Read all the biggest Classics.
15. Attend a masked Ball.
16. Dye your hair.
17. Get your belly button pierced.
18. Get a tattoo.
19. Befriend somebody you don’t like.
20. Fall in love.

Hermione was happy with her list, although she knew the unlikely hood that she had of ever fulfilling them all. 

She promised herself that she would at least try to complete one of them each day. For the next day she hoped to complete number six, since it seemed the easiest, especially since the next day happened to be a Saturday. 

When she got up the next day, she stripped down and wrapped herself in her nice, fluffy robe. She grabbed her shampoo and conditioner, so that she might properly clean herself once she was done and grabbed her clothes for the day. She ran into Draco on her way to the bathroom. 

“Um…sorry.” She said when she bumped into him. 

“Whatever. Are you headed in there?” He asked, jerking his head towards the bathroom.

“Yeah, but I’ll probably be a while, so if you want to shower or anything I think you should go now.” When he looked at her oddly she clarified, “I’m taking a bath, those are supposed to be relaxing, so it’ll take a while.” He nodded in understanding. 

“I’ve already showered.” As he said this Hermione realized something slightly vital. One of the few things that could not be summoned or created by magic was food. If she planned to bathe in chocolate she would need to go to the kitchens to get the chocolate, but she was already in her robe and everything. 

“Malfoy,” she said as he turned to leave. 


“I know that this is a lot to ask, but I only just realized and I’m desperate.” She semi-rambled, not making much sense to either of them. 

“What Granger?”

“Would you be willing to, maybe, run down to the kitchens and ask one of the elves to send up chocolate? I need a lot of it. Like, a stone of it.”

“You don’t need any chocolate Granger, it’ll only make you fatter.” Hermione had to admit, she was a bit hurt by that. She mentally noted to add “lose weight” to her list. 

“It’s not to eat Malfoy, but thanks ever so for you concern.” She replied sarcastically. 

“Then what in the world is it for?” He asked; the natural question in the given situation.

“Never you mind, but would you please get it?” She really hoped that he would, but she secretly suspected that he probably would refuse on pure principle.

“If I fetch it,” he asked, “would you tell me what it’s for?” Hermione was hesitant, knowing how strange it would sound, but then realized that she did not really care what Malfoy thought of her. 

“Sure, whatever.”

“Then fine, I’ll be right back.” And with that he left for the kitchens. Hermione was stunned to say the least. Even just for curiosity she would not expect Malfoy to do such a thing. But she just accepted it and started setting things up in the bathroom. 

When Malfoy got back he knocked on the bathroom door. She was still wearing her robe, so she told him that he could come in. 

“Now, here is your chocolate. What’s it for?” 

“I’ll show you.” Hermione said. She performed a spell on the giant block of chocolate that he had brought, making it melt. Then she poured it into the tub and used another spell to heat it to the right, relaxing, bath temperature. Malfoy was staring at her, gobsmacked. 

“You’re going to bathe in it?!?!” He asked incredulously. Hermione merely nodded and in the back of his mind Malfoy was secretly thinking “man, that’s hot”.

“Oooo-kaaaayy.” He said, elongating the syllables. He slowly backed out of the bathroom and left Hermione to bathe in private. 

AN: I know that this was semi-short, but I’ve got a great idea for the next one, so I decided to break it off here and hopefully have the next chapter up soon-ish. Thanks for reading and please, please, please review. Thanks!

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