Chapter 5 : Chapter 5.
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Chapter Image By SillyBeee (tda)
Hearts Then Tears
December Thursday, 10:45 AM
I can't help but stare. His hair flows with the wind, his smile brightens and glistens with the sun. His eyes, so full of something, wanting to explain themselves. Or perhaps just a wanting of some kind.
As I watch his lips move, going so smoothly, I wonder if I'll ever have another moment, one like this when things aren't hectic and we're just us. A moment simply to watch him in his most natural state.
And as I breathe, I continue to listen. My eyes close and I listen to his words move and glide together so perfectly. I take a deep breath, smelling his skin. So sweet, a forbidden fruit that I can't own, can't even taste.
But the devils fruit is always the sweetest. It may be a sin but what I would do to get it.
As my mind and my thoughts begin to leave me, I begin to dream of him ; his lips upon mine. His touch ; his hands moving across my skin, caressing every part of me. Whispering in my ear, sweet nothings.
Just as my daydream starts to sweeten up, he clears his throat. My eyes shoot open and he's looking at me weird. Great. I turn around, ready to walk, but I stop in my steps. Hermione is in front of me. The whole time, when his face was lit up, he was looking at her. Her.
I can't be here anymore.
I've been stupid yet again.
December Thursday, 11 AM
Why am I so foolish? All of the time, being so blind.
Rule number one: Do not ever daydream about Draco Malfoy while in a conversation with him! Fucking Christ Jacqueline, what are you doing with your life?
I nod to myself.
"Never." I whisper.
I wonder what my death will be like. Silent, calm, easily forgotten. Painful, loud, remembered. How will it happen. Will it be a murder? Will it be a suicide? Will it be at the Hospital Wing? I would like it there.
But I don't want death, I want to live. I want to be happy.
December Thursday, 6 PM
As I walk to the Great Hall, Ginny by my side, I think about her and the idea of them together. That is what he wants, that is what he's looking for; her, not me.
I should just give up on this fantasy of him falling in love with me, I should just give up on this stupid idea that... well, it wouldn't happen... I need to leave it at that.
December Thursday, 6:45 PM
"We've done it..." she whispered as we walked to the Gryffindor common room. She was grinning, her cheeks were bright pink.
Done what? Done what! Don't even say that you-
"Hit the four month mark." she smiled and I laughed, a nervous laugh. They didn't... of course they didn't.
"I just thought you were going to say..." I start to laugh again, uneasy, I avoid her eyes.
"That me and him- that we-" her words came out scrambled. She smacked my arm playfully, while her cheeks began to redden.
"Well, I mean, I don't know!" I’m glad they didn't. She wouldn't have, anyway. She couldn't have. But, he can be persuasive and he is supposedly some type of sex God.
December Thursday, 11 PM
He was following me, acting like I couldn't feel he was there. I could, but I acted as if I couldn't. He doesn't even deserve to be noticed. He is nothing to me right now. I mean to think that he could have sex with Hermione hurts me. I don't want it to hurt me. I don’t want to do what I did last time I felt like this. I won't. I don't need to. I am stronger than I think I am.
It was around midnight and he was following me? That stalker. I wonder if I could get one of those law suits people get.
He'd break the rules anyway. No point in trying.
I knew he was only inches, maybe centimeters, behind me. I stopped and waited. There wasn't a bump. I turned around quickly. No one was there. I stayed still for a second, then turned back around and walked. Eerie. That’s what I felt. Someone was there. Someone.
I started to pick up my pace, and walk faster.
I could hear footsteps. I wasn't going insane and I hadn't eaten any bad food. I tripped and screamed at the top of my lungs. I knew someone was there, they had to be. I didn't stop. I kept screaming. Louder and louder... until my lungs let out and everything went black.
December Friday, 12 AM
Little vibrations is what I heard in the space surrounding me. Where am I? Faded and lost beyond my mind. I try to focus. It hurts, but I try. After a few moments I realize those vibrations were voices, humming in the distance.
Where am I...
"Are you sure she's friends with Potter?" it sounds so familiar.
"Yes! She's always hanging around him!" it's...
Someone slammed a door and with a snarl, "Did you get her?" I heard a snort.
"'Course we got her!" Goyle.
Footsteps walk towards me and I hear it stop. I wasn't the one it wanted them to get. I wonder if...
I made a small groaning noise and moved my head from side to side.
"Shit! You got Jacqueline?" His voice was filled with anger, but he conveyed it in just a whisper.
I heard more footsteps, more panic. I groaned again.
"Unlock her!" it seemed furious.
I felt my hands go free. I groaned one last time and started mumbling.
"Get out!" it obviously wanted to shout, but he whispered it I could feel his hands moving about in the air.
More and more footsteps, then a slam.
"Jacqueline?" it whispered in my ear, it's hand moving my hair away from my eyes.
I thought for a moment. He wanted someone who was friends with Harry. God, it is such a stalker.
I opened my eyes, sit up and glare at it. It looks confused, how do I feel? I get down from, from whatever I was laying on seconds before. The ground, so cold makes me shiver.
I turn to face him.
"I hate you, I fucking hate you." I walk out the door. No shoes and I soon realize not anything... except my underwear and bra. That little pig.
December Friday, 12:20 AM
He says I’m someone to him. How am I someone? How is anyone someone to him? He makes his little minions get a friend of Harry, and I suspect he wanted Ginny, and he wanted her in just her underwear? What the fuck was he going to do?
I mean there are various things, but what would he do?
Those two oafs saw me almost naked. If I could kill...
December Friday, 7 AM
The morning always seems so dead. So different from the rest of the day, even the evening.
I think I like it most. No gossip and no worries, for the time being, anyway. It's so nice, so peaceful.
But of course when I'm in my state of happiness it always has to be ruined. The things he thinks of..
He walked over to me and sat, actually sat down across from me. People stared, I would have to if I wasn't the one he was looking at.
"I'm sorry." he whispered.
"What were you going to do?" normal tone, I had nothing to hide. Draco Malfoy is a pervert.
He looked up at me.
"We just wanted to-"
I made a look of disgust.
"We just wanted to get some information out of... well, not you but the Weaselette, to get something off of Potter." he said as if that was a decent explanation.
I stared at him.
"Are you serious?" he had to be joking.
"No." he said.
I stood up.
"You are a perverted little twit and you know what? You should be expelled! You're disgusting and I don't ever want you speaking to me again! How dare you even talk to me now. You're a rat." then I ran out. I didn't care that people were staring. He did. I hope he was half as furious as I was.
December Friday, 3 PM
I walked to the Gryffindor Common Room. The things he does... how could I possibly fall in love with him? I mean he's so... him.
I ran up to the Girls Dorm and went to my bed. I picked up a book, one of my favorites. It's an American book.
The things Melinda Sordino went through... she's my hero.
I plop onto my bed and open to the page I’m on. I'm near the end and I can't help but think, is there anyone here, at Hogwarts, who's went through what she's been through?
If I met her she'd be one of my best friends, and not a fake one. We would tell each other everything. It would be nice.
I heard a light knock on the door and in came Hermione.
"What happened? I heard you yelled at some new kid for no reason." she looked me up and down, confused.
I looked at her, and as I started to realize what she said, and what had happened earlier, everything made sense. My mouth dropped.
"New kid?" I repeated her, double checking I heard it right.
"Yes." she nodded.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.
"He is in so much trouble." I said through my teeth.
That jackass, oh, just wait...
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