Chapter 6 : I See You Staring...
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It didn’t get any easier when lessons started.
I’d thought maybe I could throw myself into the classes and distract myself.
I overestimated my attention span.
Seriously, there’s all this resentment towards us lazy Ravenclaws who don’t do any work, but it’s really the others we should be jealous of. I certainly wished I had their unfaltering concentration, that first week of term.
I went into Charms, my first lesson of the day, determined to take down everything Flitwick said, colour code my notes and everything.
Yeah, that didn’t happen.
It was just that everything he was saying seemed so obvious that it would really be a waste of energy and parchment so I just dozed off a little and let my mind wander…
Halfway through the lesson I realised with a jolt that I was thinking of the thing I’d sworn not to think about again, and that my notes so far consisted of the title and you could just make out Sirius’ name underneath vicious crossings out. I vanished the parchment promptly but it didn’t make me any less irritated.
No matter what I did, my mind wandered. Strayed where it shouldn’t.
The worst part was wondering when he was going to snap out of his broody, distant existence and get back on with his mission to bed every girl in the school. Because it was bound to happen.
Every time he passed a girl in the hall, or sat near someone who tried in vain to get his attention I internally flinched. My nerves were in shreds as I struggled not to think about it; I knew that when that time did come it was going to hurt. I half just wanted it to happen as soon as possible, so that I could really get on with everything, but then the selfish half of me wanted him to wallow in his self-pity forever.
I’m a real nice friend.
The one good thing about the terrible Christmas holidays was the smug feeling I got when I was in the Ravenclaw common on room in the evenings, relaxing as my friends frantically scribbled essays the night before they were due in. Usually I’d be the worst one, thinking I could get three rolls of parchment done in an hour and have time for a jolly game of exploding snap before bed. I never learned.
Now I realised why Lily and the others did their homework in advance; it wasn’t just because they were organised, it was because they loved watching the rest of us struggle while they, the superior ones, could treat themselves to a little relaxation.
It felt good.
“Why the bloody hell haven’t you got anything to do?” Freddie demanded one evening when he was working through a pile of Rune’s translations about a foot high. Tut, tut, even our esteemed Head Boy falling behind.
Oh, just because I had sex with my best friend. You know, the complete slut that you always warned me about. Yeah, him. And then I felt so guilty about it that I hid in my room and finished all my homework.
I didn’t think he’d appreciate that answer.
I just beamed self-righteously and waved as I skipped off to meet Lily.
That feeling didn’t last long though. As soon as we’d handed one truck-load of work in we were assigned double as much again. With this load, I settled back into my old routine.
I alternated the evenings between the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor common rooms; spending half my time with my friends, mainly the Quidditch team, who have the same last-minute frame of mind as me, and the other half with Lily harping on about how she finished hers ages ago and how I should be ashamed.
Sirius and James were as bad as me. I often sat with them until the early hours finishing assignments for the next day before sneaking back to my common room after curfew, much to Lily’s disapproval.
It wasn’t even as awkward as I thought it would be. I mean, to begin with I had a thousand unhelpful thoughts rushing through my mind, including pointless things… like where to sit.
I’m not joking.
You’d think it was easy – spare spot, you claim it. Right? But I found myself wondering where I would have sat before. Would I have sat in the chair opposite him, kind of far away and hard to talk? Or would I have sat on the floor in front of him? Or sat on the arm of his chair with my legs sprawled across him? And was it ok to do that now? What would he think?
It was exhausting, and that was before even attempting the stupid homework without ending up staring at the muscles in his forearms as he pressed down hard on the parchment in his boyish scrawl.
After a few nights of finding myself staring inappropriately before jumping out of my skin and blushing, hoping that Lily and James hadn’t noticed, it was OK.
Not perfect, but close enough to normal that no one would notice us behaving any differently.
Comfortable enough for me to sit in front of him, leaning back against his legs as we divided up the Potions questions between the two of us and James, and exchange answers when we were finished.
It’s not cheating, alright?
So we were getting well back on track. I was even optimistic, if I ignored the nagging feeling at the back of my stomach that reminded me that each day he was closer to ‘moving on’ and replacing me with another girl.
I tried to remember the last girl he’d been with before Christmas but I couldn’t. It wasn’t really something I’d bothered to keep track of back then. But I was sure it had been a fair while since he’d boasted about another conquest to a slightly repulsed Lily and I, and an encouraging James.
Ages, in fact.
The last time had been back at the start of the year, it must have been just a few weeks into September. That was a bad time. So bad that he’d sworn off his lifestyle altogether, although of course that didn’t last.
I never did find out the full story behind it…
It was late September, pouring with rain.
I’d been at training, and we’d finished late so everyone was in a hurry to get back up to the castle before curfew. Oz was yelling at me from outside the changing rooms to hurry up so he could lock up.
I’d been shoving my muddy kit into a bag when I heard his muffled but still audible voice – it was Oz, after all – talking to someone, even though I could have sworn everyone else had trudged back up to the castle already.
“What’re you doing here?” Oz asked, so gruffly that I’d assumed right away that it was Avery, the Slytherin captain.
I couldn’t hear the person answer. That meant it was someone with a quieter voice that Oz, but unfortunately that only narrowed it down to ninety-nice percent of the student body.
“You’re on the Gryffindor team, aren’t you? Were you watching us? Did Potter send you?”
I laughed to myself at Oz’s suspicion. As if James would bother sending someone to spy on us training in the rain. As if someone would be thick enough to agree to it.
I stopped bothering to try and listen through the thick walls and went out to see for myself who this supposed ‘spy’ was.
He was only wearing his school uniform. The rain had soaked through his thin shirt so that it stuck to his skin and his tie was hanging limply around his neck. Even his beloved hair was plastered to his head and his cheeks were flushed in the cold.
“Oh, you do know him then?” Oz looked a little disappointed that he hadn’t uncovered a secret plot of James’.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, the cold already getting to me and making my teeth chatter despite the hot shower I’d been in less than two minutes ago.
His expression was one of pure dread, the anxiety in his eyes obvious even to Oz, who locked up abruptly and departed.
“I’ve done something bad. Really bad.” His panicked voice cut through the rain.
“What?” His angst was infectious. I slung my bag over my arm and took one of his hands in mine. It was ice cold and tense.
“I don’t know why I did it. I’m so stupid. Why? Why the fuck would I do that?” He rattled on.
“What have you done?”
He seemed to snap out of it at the sound of my shaking voice.
“You’re cold.” He observed. Genius. “I’m sorry, I just didn’t know what to do. I saw Freddie get back and I just had to come and find you, I just had to see you…”
He was pulling me up the hill as he spoke.
“I didn’t mean to do it, Dee, I swear. This is the stupidest thing I’ve done in my life…”
“What?” I was getting frustrated with his nonsensical ramblings. I stopped dead as we set foot in the Entrance Hall, drying my clothes with my wand and enjoying the warm, dry feeling.
“I can’t tell you.”
That didn’t please me.
“Oh, OK. You come all the way down to tell me, I stand out there in the rain longer than I’d like listening to you prattle on about how bad it is, then you won’t tell me?”
His face looked torn. Torn between terror and regret. Between bursting to tell me and keeping it to himself.
“What is it?” I demanded.
He clamped his lips together and shook his head.
“Well, if you’re not going to tell me I’m going to bed.” I turned to storm up the stairs but froze at the unmistakably shuffling sound coming from the top of the marble staircase.
Sirius grabbed my hand again, dragging me down the dark corridor into the dungeons. He tried the first door we came to, Slughorn’s classroom, but it was locked, so he yanked me headlong through the next door along.
A broom closet.
I barely had time to feel amused that I was in a broom closet with the school slut before he clamped a hand over my mouth.
Oh yeah, like I was going to give away our whereabouts to the sadistic caretaker right now.
Our bodies were tensed in the small space, straining to hear the sound of those old loafers shuffling our way but fortunately Filch grumbled off in the other direction. Only then did Sirius feel it safe to uncover my mouth.
“Ok, now spill.” I hissed, leaning back against the bare wall. A gloomy, slightly green light played across his face from the crack in the door, but all I could make out other than that was his hunched shoulders.
“I really can’t. I want to tell you Dee. I want you to yell at me and tell me it’s all my own fault and hate me. But I really can’t tell you.”
“What could be so bad?”
He didn’t answer, just let out a strangled groan and covered what I could see of his face with his hands.
“Is it a girl?” I asked, curious despite my annoyance. Sirius rarely got this worked up about anything.
I took that as a yes.
“And…?” I prompted.
“And I really, really shouldn’t have done it.”
What the sodding hell does ‘Mmmf’ even mean?!
“Has a boyfriend?”
Makes a change. Not.
Or maybe ‘Mmmf’ didn’t mean yes. It wasn’t like I was fluent in Moron-talk.
Now what could really be this bad?
“Not… not Lily?” I couldn’t see that happening but I couldn’t think of anything that would get him this worked up other than betraying his best friend.
“What? No!” He even laughed in disbelief.
“Well, who then?”
“Not that bad.”
He was being annoyingly cryptic.
He didn’t say anything.
“Disgusting. But really not that bad.”
“Alright, it was bloody stupid. But what I mean is that no one’s going to find out are they? You’re not going to say anything, and look at the opinion most Slytherins have of you. She’s not going to say anything either, is she?”
I really wish I knew what that meant.
Eurgh, a Slytherin.
I reached up blindly to pat his shoulder.
“It’s really not that bad, you loser. Not bad enough to hunt me down at Quidditch practice in the rain, anyway.”
“You’re really not making me feel any better.”
“What? You could have at least waited until I got back to the castle -”
“No, I mean you’re patting my face.”
I really didn’t think it was that bad.
I mean, the thought of him getting with a Slytherin was gross, but really nothing to get that worked up about. Still, it made him see the drawbacks of life as a slut, and he attempted, for a little while, to clean up his act a bit.
He stayed clean for just over a month, before I heard rumours of him in the Astronomy Tower with a blonde. Even then, I never heard it from him personally. He stopped with the detailed, gloating stories and settled for a more modest routine of casual flirting rather than tales of his casual shagging.
He never told James or Lily. He didn’t ask me to keep it to myself, but I didn’t say anything either. I don’t think the two of them even noticed a change in his behaviour, it might have only been obvious to me because I knew how distraught he’d been at the time.
I’d tried thinking of who the girl could be. Who could have made him that scared? The only thing I could think of was that it was someone his brother had been dating or something. I didn’t really know the values that brothers’ held, and I didn’t know if these values even applied to Sirius and Regulus. But it was the only plausible explanation that I could think of.
Even then it was only a month or so before I heard the gossip about him again, so it could only have been about a month that he’d kept to his vow.
Was this - us - worse that whatever it was he’d done before? I wished I knew what it was so that I could compare. Was it going to take him longer or less time to get back into his old routine? The feeling bothered me.
Also, although we were almost back to normal when we were with Lily and James, I hadn’t even considered the possibility that we’d be on our own at any point.
Like, one evening in the Gryffindor common room. It was just the same as any evening. The common room steadily emptied around our group; Sirius, James, Lily and I.
Lily was refusing to let up copy her Herbology questions, saying we’d never learn. Eventually, she flounced off to bed, annoyed with our pestering.
It took us twice as long with her gone. Even though she wouldn’t directly help she’d be happy to guide us to the right page in the textbook.
You’d think it wouldn’t be that hard with three fairly intelligent teenagers.
“Look in the index.”
“I am. It’s not here -”
“The index, James you prat. That’s the glossary…”
“I knew that.”
It was like trying to direct a troll. A particularly stupid one.
We were the only ones left in the common room, but I felt strangely at ease with James there as a buffer. I was even managing to look Sirius in the eye when I spoke to him and suppress the bout of butterflies that erupted into my stomach.
“How do you spell it?” James scratched his head with his quill, an enormous textbook open on his knees. Sirius and I groaned in frustration.
“Snare? How many ways are there of spelling ‘snare’?” Sirius growled, rubbing his tired eyes.
“Well it could be -”
“S-N-A-R-E.” I interrupted, trying to speed up the process.
“Oh, here. Devil’s Snare. Page seven hundred and twenty-two…”
I exhaled noisily, lolling my head back. At some point in the evening I’d slithered out of my armchair so that I was laying on my back in front of it with my legs on the seat.
“What was the question?”
James Potter, I will strangle you…
“Are you fucking serious?” Sirius exploded.
“You bloody try doing the reading!” James retorted.
“Alright, give it here. Then maybe we’ll be done by morning!”
James threw the hefty book at Sirius, who didn’t duck in time. It caught him with a glancing blow on the shoulder, engulfing him in a cloud of dust and a few fluttering loose pages.
“Good catch.” James smirked and dodged a ball of parchment that Sirius flicked in his direction with the reflexes only a Quidditch captain possessed.
Sirius was no better than James at the researching. After about five minutes of brotherly bickering over where to find the answers and who was fastest, James let out an enormous yawn.
“I give up.” He announced. “I’ll do it in the morning.”
A strange feeling stirred in my abdomen in alarm at being left alone with Sirius.
“You can’t leave us now!” Apparently Sirius felt it too.
“I’m tired.” James pouted. “’Night.” He slouched off up the stairs.
For a few moments neither of us spoke. I held my question sheet up and studied it carefully, aware that Sirius was ‘engrossed’ in the textbook.
“What question were we on?” He asked, his voice carefully casual.
“Erm…” I was staring at the parchment without really seeing it. I forced my eyes to focus. “Twenty seven. How do you distinguish between Devil’s Snare and an its non-violent twin, Flitterbloom?”
“Right.” He cleared his throat and flicked through a few pages.
The silence was almost painful. I tried to think of something to say. Then wondered if it would be more awkward if I spoke.
Did people usually talk in these situations?
What had we talked about when James was here?
Why was it so much harder now?
I glanced up at Sirius; his head was bowed over the book. He was lounging on his stomach in front of the fire, the only thing between his head and mine was the enormous, dusty old tome.
I let out a sudden giggle. His head jerked up in surprise.
“Your… your hair is grey.” I cackled at the bewildered expression on his face.
“Oh.” He was perplexed for a moment then grinned in relief, realising that he’d been covered in dust when James had thrown the book at him. Then he got that wicked sparkle back in his eye.
In an instant he’d sprung forwards, shaking his head over mine. The dust particles spiralled down from his hair into my face, making me splutter and screw my face up.
He was chuckling, pleased with himself, as I giggled weakly, shaking my head to get the dust out of my eyes.
“You’re evil.” I wiped my eyes, ready to glare mockingly at him, but my mind went blank and my face softened.
His face was slightly above mine, just looking at me again. For the first time, his expression was unguarded, just amused and pondering.
The situation was getting a little familiar.
“What?” My mouth asked, before I could stop it.
Why? Why would I say that?
Now it was horribly familiar.
Thankfully he either didn’t realise that we were in the exact same positions we were on Christmas Eve, or else he chose to ignore it. But he still didn’t move his face back.
“I love your laugh,” he said, simply. Then froze, realising that although this was a seemingly neutral comment, it just wasn’t appropriate right now. He had that uncomfortable expression again, the one that looked apprehensive, as if I was about to leg it.
“Um.” I smiled uneasily, half awkward and half amused at the awkwardness.
Fortunately he laughed. “Sorry. I don’t mean I love it love it -” Oh. Was I disappointed? “It’s just such an evil giggle. Not a girly giggle. It’s awesome. Suits you.”
“Uh, thanks?” I started to laugh again, but clamped my hands over my mouth.
“What?” He looked bemused.
“I can’t laugh now! Now that you’ve pointed it out. It will be weird!”
He laughed incredulously at that, and I had to bit my cheeks not to laugh as well.
“Stop it!” I pleaded, muffling my giggles with my hands.
He laughed harder and got that glint in his eyes again. He made a movement then stopped himself.
I was still stifling my laughter but looked questioningly at him.
He shook his head.
He smiled and cocked an eyebrow.
Bloody silent conversations.
I narrowed my eyes more and he surrendered.
“I was about to tickle you,” he admitted, “But then I thought… you know.”
“Ah.” Yes, that would have been entirely inappropriate.
I smiled uncomfortably again at the slightly soured expression on his face. Although the corners of his mouth were twisted up into a smile, the humour had left his eyes and it was hard to meet them. My eyes trailed down his nose to his mouth. I wasn’t making it any easier for myself.
Then I burst into giggles again at a smudge of dust on his cheek.
His face lit up on my laughter, and he grinned as I clamped my hands over my mouth again.
There were a few moments of silence as my giggles died away.
“Question twenty-seven?” He shifted back to his original position.
“Right,” I caught his eye and ducked my head.
We carried on working, little smirks on both of our faces.
“So how’re things with Mystery Girl?”
This was the question that made me jump out of my skin every few days when James or Lily would spring the question on Sirius out of the blue. It was all part of some ingenious plan they’d cooked up together to catch him off guard.
It wasn’t working.
Every time Sirius would just smile at some private joke that he had with himself and say it was all going very well, thank you very much.
“We want details!” Lily hissed, one time in Charms. She and I were seated on the opposite side of one of the battered old wooden desks to James and Sirius. Sirius’ lack of compliance with her demand for gossip had made her so mad that she was actually questioning him rather than copying from the textbook like we were supposed to.
“Like what?” Sirius’ grin was infuriating. I didn’t know at what point he’d decided that it was OK to wind me up and make stupid jokes again, but I didn’t know if I was ready for it. It was too soon for my brain to keep up and make witty retorts like was expected of me.
“Well, name, year, house would be a start.”
Something nudged my foot. I looked up at Lily, wondering if she was kicking me to back her up. Nope, she was still looking fiercely at Sirius. James was staring adoringly at Lily, and as we all know how incapable he is at multi-tasking, it clearly wasn’t him. Sirius was looking pointedly down at his notes, a little smile on his face.
I nudged back with my toes, clad just in my tights as I’d kicked off my shoes at the start of the lesson, studying him for a response. His smile twitched just a little, enough for me to know that it was him.
“I told you, just respecting her wishes.” He carried on his conversation with Lily.
Why did he nudge me? I decided it was an accident and turned a page in the textbook.
“Well tell us something, at least.” Lily complained.
Something nudged me again, gently, but didn’t move.
“What do you want to know?” Sirius asked.
His foot was still resting against mine, and I didn’t have a clue why. What I did know was that that touch, even through his bloody shoes, was making me ridiculously on edge.
“Well, why doesn’t she want anyone to know?”
Sirius paused to consider his answer.
I tensed as his other foot nestled up to the other side of mine, capturing it between them before withdrawing. What was he doing? I stretched my foot out tentatively to poke his with my toe, then immediately pulled both my legs back under my chair, a smile on my face.
Oh god, are we playing footsie?
I wanted to kick myself for being so girly and for feeling so… so much from just a nudge. Of the foot. Hardly the most erotic thing in the world.
“Well,” He decided to answer, “To be honest, I think she’s just a coward.”
I froze again. This time at his words rather than his touch.
“I can’t think of any other reason. I’ve tried a million times to show how much I like her, and I thought she liked me too. You would have thought so, from how we -”
Oh my God. I fixed my stare down at my parchment and tried to control the rush of blood to my cheeks.
“Alright, stop right there before you get too graphic.” Lily interrupted, thankfully.
“So yeah,” Sirius continued, undeterred, “The only thing I can think of is that she does like me, but she’s either too scared or too ashamed. And I don’t know how to make her see.”
James broke out of his Lily daydream. “Bloody hell.” He remarked, cleverly. “You’re serious aren’t you?”
“You’ve never said anything like this before.”
“So you’ve never felt like this before?”
“Shut the fuck up, you pansy.” Sirius elbowed James in the ribs.
“Don’t blame me that you’re all in lurve -”
“Unrequited love. Now you know how I feel…” Unfortunately for James he chose to send an accusing look at Lily, who hexed him without a second thought.
Painful looking boils erupted across James forearms, which he’d thrown up to protect himself with. He gazed at them in horror.
“My arms! Quidditch starts soon!” His melodramatic cries attracted the attention of the rest of the class and Professor Flitwick.
“Miss Evans,” The tiny professor scolded, wearily. He’d seen it all before, “The Furnunculus Curse, I presume?”
Lily nodded, sheepishly.
“Kindly escort Mr Potter to the hospital wing without causing him any more damage. And apologize.”
“Yes, Professor,” Lily ushered a whimpering James from the room, carefully keeping her distance from his pimpled arms. You could hear her snapping back at his whining all the way down the corridor.
The rest of the class got back to work quickly enough, Lily hexing James wasn’t that rare of an occurrence so it was really nothing to be distracted by.
For the second time, I was left alone with Sirius.
Alright, we were in a full class. But alone at a table. Less than two minutes after what can only be described as a session of footsie.
And less than a minute after James accused him of being in love.
Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t stupid enough to believe that. But it was uncomfortable. And he’d more or less admitted that he wasn’t getting over it.
He was copying a chunk of text, pressing down hard onto the parchment as usual, biting his lower lip in concentration. I found myself smiling at the childlike image. He looked so adorable with the little frown line between his eyebrows as he focused. His eyes were flickering from the book to his notes and the muscles in his jaw were twitching as he chewed his lip.
“Dee.” He said suddenly, not looking up.
I jumped and dropped my quill.
“I was not!” I denied it, fumbling for my quill on the floor.
He was no longer concentrating on his work in a cute way. He was smirking at me in an infuriatingly attractive way.
“Oh? I suppose I was imagining the unnerving feeling of someone ogling me?”
“Yup,” I countered promptly, then added in a stage whisper, “Unless it was Harper,” I nodded at the heavy-set Slytherin with a mean expression, “Now that you mention it I have noticed him drooling over you…”
“Can’t say I blame him,” Sirius was unfazed by my attempt at stupid humour to divert his attention, “Jealous?”
Damn him and his wicked grin.
“No,” I answered, too quickly.
Fuck. That wasn’t the sarcastic answer I was supposed to give.
Sirius smiled smugly to himself and looked back down at the book. This time I didn’t let myself even hazard a glance at him.
I copied down the notes automatically, not taking in any of the information. I was too busy cursing myself for slipping up. At least Lily and James weren’t there to witness it.
Why was he so bloody cheery all of a sudden? Just a few days ago he wouldn’t have recognised a joke if it bit him in the arse and now here he was winding me up like normal.
Was he really getting over it?
But there was what he’d said to Lily…
“I’ve tried a million times to show her how much I like her…”
That didn’t give the impression he was over it.
But he was OK to joke about it?
More OK than me?”
I finished my notes quickly and threw my quill aside with a satisfied sigh. I caught Sirius quickly averting his gaze.
I pulled a mock shocked face. “Not staring were we, Mr Black?”
He grinned guiltily, still not looking up. I felt that stupid smirk creeping across my face again and didn’t try to stop it.
Well as long as this makes things easier. Not.
It was later in the week that it hit me.
These strange little exchanges happened more and more often. Just stupid things that I wouldn’t have even noticed before. Like one evening in the common room he pinched my wand and wouldn’t give it back; holding it above his head and having a whale of a time watching me jump up and down for it, refusing to ‘say the magic word’ as he requested. Like funny little looks out of the corner of his eye, and little smirks when there was nothing to smile about.
I couldn’t put my finger on what was different. To anyone else it would have looked just the same as our usual childish, playful relationship before Christmas. Now everything was different. It was the same, but at the same time completely different.
It hit me at dinner.
It was no different to any other night. Lily and I were the first in, immediately stacking our plates high and tucking in. At some point, I couldn’t tell exactly when, we were joined by James, Sirius and their friends.
Sirius, Remus and Peter were absorbed in a boyish exchange filled with many stupid nicknames, sniggering and punches to the arm. I was really just daydreaming, picking at my roast potatoes and half tuned in to Lily and James’ exchange.
“I see you staring at me, Evans.”
“I do not stare at you.”
“Oh, so I guess I’m imagining it, am I?”
“It’s all in your head, Potter, in your dreams.” Lily had a silly smirk on her face.
They’re so cute, I was thinking, I wonder when they’ll realise that they’re both flirting outrageously.
After a few moments James made a loud exclamation.
“There! There, you were staring! I told you!”
“What? No! No I wasn’t…” Lily spluttered, her cheeks bright red.
“You were looking at me!”
“No,” Lily composed herself, “I happened to be gazing into empty space. Empty space, your head, what’s the difference?” She smiled witheringly.
So, so cute, I thought, One day they’ll realise.
A few minutes later it was Lily who broke the silence.
“Who’s staring now, Potter?” Her smile was smug.
Hang on… I recognised that smug smile.
And now I thought about it, I recognised the whole exchange.
My mind wandered.
“Oh? I suppose I was imagining the unnerving feeling of someone ogling me?”
“Not staring are we, Mr Black?”
“Your hair is grey!”
“I love your laugh…”
“Give me back my wand!”
“Say the magic word…”
“Wrong. The magic word is actually Sirius-Black-Is-A-Sex-God.”
“I didn’t hear the magic word…”
“I’m not saying it!”
“I see you staring at me, Evans…”
“Empty space, your head, what’s the difference?”
Lily and James were flirting.
Sirius and I were flirting.
Sirius and I.
I was flirting with Sirius Black.
There was no going back.
A.N. - I'd love to know what you think! This chapter started out double the length but I've cut it into two... so I apologise if it seems any more boring or disjointed than the others! Also I'm sorry for the slow update, the last chapter needed an extra warning so took a little longer! Please leave a review! Rx.
Preview of Chapter 7 - Worse Then Better, Worse Then Better...“- I just want to know what’s going on, Dee. Are we…” He trailed off.
“Moving on?” I supplied, delicately. I bit my lip and dragged my eyes down. I couldn’t meet those stormy eyes. Not when they looked like that.
“Isn’t that what you wanted?” His hands were tensed into fists at his sides.
The silence said more than words could have...
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