Chapter 1 : Chapter 1.
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Hearts Then Tears
If I said I wasn't in love with him, I would be lying. If I said he's changed drastically because of me, I would simply be lying again.
December Wednesday, 9 AM
I remember those first few moments so clearly. I was talking with Hermione, she has been one of my few friends since second year; since I first came to Hogwarts. When she admitted she had feelings for him, I just couldn't believe it. Honestly, I couldn't believe her.
He was cold, unloving, disrespectful, cruel... and he was supposed to be mine. And let's be real here for a moment, even if he had no significance to my life, how could that pair even work?
I laughed at first to try and hide my discomfort and that face she made had made, a frown mixed with hurt feelings, it made me cringe.
"You are joking, right? Tell me you are joking..." I spat at her, my voice abruptly loud, then suddenly a whisper.
"No.” was her simple response. Her eyes, once staring straight back at me, were now glued to her lap.
I just looked off into the distance, and after awhile I gave her a nod. It is almost funny how these things tend to happen to me. Hilarious.
"How?" was the only question I could even fathom to ask, the only word that felt normal to form after this odd and shocking news was thrown at me.
She then proceeded to tell me of the nights they spent together. She told me about the intimate moments they shared, how he changed and he was no longer the evil ferret we all knew him to be. I wanted to scream, to jump, to stomp... because I knew, I knew all along he wasn't who he seemed to be! I knew and this, thing, wasn't anything close to normal (or okay, or logical, or explainable?)
Hermione Granger was sneaking around with Draco Malfoy. Not right, not right at all.
And I remember that one horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, making me think that maybe, just maybe, he loved her as much as she thought he did. Just as much as she wanted him to.
But can I truly sit here and say I think she's changed the infamous Draco Malfoy? and now he's found his one and only? No, and never would I say such a thing.
Because he hasn't, and he would have at least told me. How can you hide a whole relationship from your best friend? I think he would at least have the decency to tell me, anyway.
Draco Malfoy, that hard-headed fool. I hate him, but, at times I guess love overpowers that feeling of hate. Most of the time, usually. Actually, now thinking about it, it's always that way. That hate feeling is just a little distraction.. kind of brings us together a little perhaps.
Really, though, why would he even fool around with her? To piss off Harry and Ron? That seems to be the only logical explanation to me.
I mean, could he really love her? Truly be in love with her?
What the fuck has gotten into this world. Each day it's worse, I swear.
December Thursday, 8 AM
Time was passing by so slowly. I was looking up at the floating candles when I adverted my eyes to someone who was laughing rather loudly. It was quite obnoxious, I had to catch a peek.
His eyes were already attached to me.
My eyes were blank looking back at him. I simply stared in his direction (not making eye contact, of course) what else was there to do? His smile faded into a confused look after a moment. My eyebrows went down coming closer to my nose, only a little. I shook my head and turned my attention back to the candles.
He can go to hell for all I care. He will fit in good with everyone down there, I’m sure.
December Thursday, 7:45 PM
Dinner was not nearly as cheerful as usual that night, well not for me.
I walked at a slow speed, no need to rush. It was break and everyone would be going back to their families, celebrating Christmas and Hanukkah... except me. Cheers!
I counted each step I took when suddenly I lost count. Someone had turned me around so fast I felt like I was going to puke, and I wish I had. I knew it was him, who else would it be? Santa Clause? If only.
I looked down, quickly.
"What's wrong?" he asked, concern certainly was in his voice. Yeah, because Draco Malfoy actually has feelings. Nice ones, at that.
I kept my face down.
"What is it?"
He tried to bring my face up, but I wouldn't budge, not even a bit. This was the beginning, this was when he tried so hard for me. I wish I could go back to this moment every day, and just ask him to hold me like he used to. But, that isn't how the story goes.
I started to turn away, but he put his hands on my shoulders. No use in trying, I suppose.
"You could have told me, you know." I whispered, trying to be so quiet only a bird could hear what I had to say.
"Told you what?"
I brushed his hands off my shoulders and looked up at him for only a moment, a glare on my face. His eyes looked so sad, but they didn't understand, not yet. How odd, was this look sincere?
"About her," my voice was filled with pain, and my eyes traveled to the girl walking on the fourth floor, and his, hesitant and quick, followed. I swung around and ran. He saw the uptight girl with brown hair, he knew.
December Thursday, 10 PM
He did absolutely nothing, he let me run, he had no reaction, and he probably never cared much anyway.
Oh, if I wanted to pin point every little thing...
1. She is very attractive, much prettier than I am
2. She is more intelligent than me
3. Constantly doing freaky shit with Harry and Ron all the time??
4. She's clever and witty
5. Has a good reputation, even if she does come off as a goodie-goodie
6. She has those hips that any girl would die for...
7. Bossy ( just like Draco )
8. Slightly annoying ( just like Draco )
9.Best friend ( just like Draco )
I give up! I am just... less? And I am destined for shit.
Who would want me?
Not him, obviously.
I don't want anyone else, though. Why can't he just choose me, notice that I am completely and utterly in love with him and i have been for so long. Why can't he see that? Why?
December Friday, 7:30 AM
I sat quietly in the Great Hall as people piled in for breakfast. Each face looked exactly the same. Their eyes, half open, their slumped backs, and how they kept yawning every few seconds. It's been a week since I talked to him.
I stared at my pumpkin juice and I began to squint. I wondered if I could make it explode with my mind, and if I could, I would experiment on his face.
"You know," a girl behind me began.
"I heard that she was just tutoring him. I mean, Hermione Granger? She would never look twice at Malfoy." she was a Gryffindor, if that wasn't written on her forehead.
Tutoring was the best they could come up with? Probably just Hermione, getting nervous in front of her peers while hiding the biggest secret of all time! I mean, Draco is a very smart boy, but, Gryffindors do not know that. Why should they?
I turned just in time to catch Hermione walking through the door, she was running to me. Literally, running. My depressed state looked as if i was tired, good thing it was the morning or else i wouldn't be able to pull it off.
"Do you-" she started in a normal voice, then she leaned down really close to me, "Do you know what he told me last night?" the anticipation on her face was ridiculous. I didn't want to know. She seemed so bright, and happy. She really did have it all.
I shook my head no and "… he said he loved me, love!" she whispered shaking her head while smiling like mad.
Love. I suddenly felt exhausted and sick. Is it possible to hate someone who is your best friend? Can someone you hate be your best friend?
"… in love with him," was the last thing I heard her say before my mind wondered and as I took a deep breath I realized I died. He knew.
Authors Note: First chapter, tell me what you think! Hope you enjoyed it.
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