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Holding Back by FanofCards25
Chapter 1 : Holding Back
Rating: 12+ 
Chapter Reviews: 4


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It had been a really long day, especially after the grueling Quidditch practice Harry had just endured.  He decided to skip dinner and head straight up to the common room for some well deserved and much needed rest.  After he trudged up seven flights of stairs, Harry got to the Fat Lady’s portrait and said “Fizzing Whizbees,” which was the new password that was just issued that morning, and the portrait swung open wide.  Now that Ron had become a prefect, the passwords seemed to all become food related.
 

Harry staggered into the empty common room and took his favorite seat, a comfy red armchair, in front of the fireplace.  He figured he would just relax while he waited for Ron and Hermione to come up; he needed to get Hermione to look over his Potions essay for the morning class.  His seat was so comfortable and warm, he eventually fell asleep.
 

Harry woke up the next morning and Ron was already gone from his four poster.  He looked down at the clock and realized that potions class starts in twenty minutes.  He jumped out of bed, got dressed and started frantically looking around the dorm for his potions book and homework.  After several minutes of frantic searching, he remembered that he was going to ask Hermione to look over it.  He threw on his shoes and ran down the stairs.
 

Coming down the stairs, into an empty common room, he looked over to the table next to his favorite chair.  Relieved, he found his book and homework.  He looked over his essay, but didn’t see any corrections.  He either got it right, or forgot to ask Hermione to look at it.  He rubbed his eyes, trying to remember the previous night, but he had been so tired that it all seemed hazy.  He then looked down at his watch and saw that he only had ten minutes to get to the dungeons, and decided that the essay he had would just have to do.
 

Harry threw his book and essay into his bag and made his way through the portrait hole.  As he rushed down the stairs, he realized that the hallways were next to empty.  ‘Either I am really late or so is everyone else,’ Harry though.  He made it down to the dungeons in record time, and noticed that the door was open.  As he entered the door way, he saw that there was no one else in class yet.
 

Thinking that this was really strange, Harry entered and took his usual seat in the back of the class.  It wasn’t but a few minutes before Professor Snape entered the classroom, completely oblivious to the fact that Harry was already sitting in there.  Not wanting to ruin a good morning, Harry decided not to direct his least favorite teacher’s attention towards himself.
 

Snape had made his way up to the front of the class and took a seat at his desk.  He was completely focused on whatever it was that he was doing, and didn’t look up until Professor McGonagall walk in the room. 
 

Take time to realize, that your warmth is crashing down on in.
Take time to realize, that I am on your side didn't I, didn't I tell you.




Professor McGonagall walked right past Harry, not noticing him, just as Snape had done.  As she made her way to the front of the classroom, she took a seat at the desk closest to Snape’s.  Snape put down his quill and his black eyes were staring intently into her eyes.  Harry strained himself trying to hear what they were saying, but there were no words being said.  It was a few minutes before Professor McGonagall finally broke the silence.
 

“I figured I would find you in here.  You skipped breakfast this morning,” she said, sounding a bit concerned.

 
“I wasn’t hungry.  Since when did you monitor my eating habits?” Snape asked in his most oily tone.
 

But I can't spell it out for you, no it's never gonna be that simple, no I can’t spell it out for you




“I wasn’t trying to be a ‘monitor,’ as you put it; it’s just that you seemed a bit quiet during the rounds last night.  I wasn’t sure if you were not getting sick or something of that nature.” McGonagall replied, in a soft spoken voice that Harry could barely hear.


Snape did not respond to her comment.  He simply went back to staring at her and continued with the silence.  McGonagall wasn’t going to waste her time with that.


“Severus, are you okay?” she asked point blank.


“I am … I just …” he mumbled a reply.

 
If you just realize what I just realized, then we'd be perfect for each other and will never find another
Just realized what I just realized we'd never have to wonder if we missed out on each other now.



McGonagall sat in her seat, still and quiet, while she waited for Snape to gather his thoughts.  Harry, still sitting silent and motionless in the back of the classroom, wasn’t sure what was going on.  So many things seemed out of place, and some of those things were a bit strange.


 “Minerva,” Severus started, “I am glad you came looking for me, because there is something that I want to tell you.”


Her only response was a soft, “Yes Severus, I am listening.”


Take time to realize, oh-oh I'm on your side didn't I, didn't I tell you.
Take time to realize, this all can pass you by, didn't I tell you



He sat there quietly for another few minutes.  ‘Whatever he is trying to say must be really difficult.  Maybe he murdered someone?’ Harry thought.  Then Snape tried to speak again.

 
“We have worked together for a while now, right?” he asked, struggling to get to his point.


“Yes, it has been about eleven years.  And we have known each other for even longer,” she answered, still listening and waiting.


“Well … there is something … I have been … meaning to say,” he started, pausing with a look of chagrin on his face.


“Honestly Severus, if it is that difficult to say, just spit it out,” she said, getting a little impatient.


“Well,” he tried to start again, “Minerva, I have … always noticed you when you walk into a room.  You are one of the brightest witches I have ever known.  And the way you work so well with the students, it’s far beyond any other teacher has ever done.”


“Well … thank you for such kind words,” Minerva softly said blushing.  “But you are a fine teacher too,” she quickly answered, trying to take the attention away from herself.

 
Severus just smiled at her, and wasn’t surprised to find her smiling back at him.  Harry, however, was more confused than ever.  He had never seen the two teachers in front of him smile, especially towards each other. 
 

“But … there is more” Severus continued.

 
“More?” Minerva looked at him a bit puzzled, but thought she knew where this was going.

 
But I can't spell it out for you, no it's never gonna be that simple, no I can't spell it out for you.

 
“To be honest with you and myself, for that matter …” Severus started.

 
“Honesty is a good thing,” Minerva encouraged.

 
After pausing for a few more seconds, Severus blurted out “I have always liked you … maybe even loved you, but I have always been afraid to say anything.”


If you just realized what I just realized, then we'd be perfect for each other then we'd never find another
Just realized what I just realized, we'd never have to wonder if we missed out on each other now.



Not really knowing what to say, Minerva just looked at Severus, sort of in shock.  Harry had to hold himself up with the table, just to keep from falling on the floor.  Severus hid his eyes away from Minerva, obviously embarrassed.  McGonagall got up from her seat, walked over to Snape and sat on the edge of his desk next to him.  She reached down and placed her hands on either side of his face and lifted up his chin so he was looking her in the eyes again.


“Severus … I have actually felt the same for you.  But you were always so distant from everyone.  I wasn’t sure how to approach you,” she replied lovingly.

 
It's not always the same, no it's never the same, if you don't feel it too.
If you meet me half way, If you would meet me half way, It could be the same for you.


 
Harry threw up in his mouth, but forced it back down with a hard swallow.  He really did not know what was going on, but he did not want to get up and leave.  The last thing he wanted Snape to know was that he, Harry, had been sitting in the back of the room for this entire display.  Harry convinced himself that he must stay quiet and still, if he wanted to pass either of their classes this year.


Snape and McGonagall both stood up and wrapped their arms around each other.  Oblivious to the world around them, Snape looked down and stared into her warm brown eyes.  He slowly moved his face towards hers.  He could feel her breath on his lips.  As he moved closer, she closed her eyes and anxiously waited with pursed lips.  As their lips connected, it was as if a bunch of Filibuster’s Fireworks had gone off. 


If you just realize what I just realized, then we'd be perfect for each other then we'd never find another
Just realize what I just realized, we'd never have to wonder Just realize what I just realized

If you just realize what I just realized missed out on each other now (OoOoOOo)
missed out on each other now (missed out on each other now)
Realize, realize (realize, realize)




Harry could not take any more.  He threw his hand over his mouth, to keep from throwing up, and ran screaming out of the classroom to the nearest toilet.
 

“Harry … Harry, wake up … Harry, are you okay?”
 

Harry heard a familiar voice, but was struggling to open his eyes.  ‘Did I pass out in the lavatory?’ Harry thought.  When he finally managed to open his eyes, he realized that it was Ron’s voice.  He, Hermione and a bunch of younger students were all staring at him, as if he had a flobber worm coming out of his nose.  He glanced around the room he woke up in and saw that he was in the common room. 
 

“How did I get back in here?” Harry asked
 

“You were asleep in here, mate,” Ron started, “we were going wake you and tell you to go to bed, but you were quiet.  It wasn’t until you started screaming that we had to wake you.”
 

“I’ve only heard that kind of screaming when someone was having a nightmare.  Is that what it was?” Hermione questioned.
 

“It really was …” Harry started to answer when he heard ‘Take time to realize, that your warmth is crashing down on in.’




“What is that bloody noise,” Harry shouted, causing everyone around him to jump.


Hermione walked over to a table full of second year girls and picked up the CD case lying on the table.


She turned back to Harry, showing him the case and said, “It must be this … is that a problem?”


“It was the soundtrack to my nightmare,” Harry replied with a grimace.


Ron fell on the floor laughing.  “leave it to you to be afraid of a song,” he said smirking.


“It was worse than you know,” Harry said, waving Ron and Hermione over to an empty corner, where he could tell them about his nightmare.


Song in this Song-fic is Realize by Colbie Callait



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