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Chapter 11 : "I will always be yours."
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and. Molly Raesly. adds. my host. i can't thank you enough for all the help you've given me throughout this ENTIRE story. from giving me a title for the story, some chapter titles, a banner and a story summary, to helping me when i was stuck, to giving me funny sult-y sentences to get dialogue going, to making an ALEC PLAYLIST. you're amazing. i dedicate this chapter to you. thank you so so so so much. i couldn't have done it without you.
this story would never have completed without each of your help.
and finally, i'd like to thank YOU, reader, for reading all the way through to the end. thank you so much! and enjoy the end of A Subtle Touch Unseen...
Chapter 11: “I will always be yours.”
“See ya, Lily!” I waved at her before she exited through the portrait hole.
Turning around, I spotted all four of my boys sitting on the couches by the fireplace, staring at me. Still smiling, I – alright, I’ll admit it – skipped over to them and plopped onto the couch, forcing my way into a non-existent spot in between Peter and James.
“I know you two are okay with each other now, but…were you just hanging out with Lily?” James’s tone flatteringly questioned my sanity.
“Prongs! Look what you’ve done to my Sylly!” Sirius exclaimed. “I mean, there’s nothing wrong with Lily, but she’s a girl! Sylly hanging out with Lily?! Oh, Merlin. It even rhymes!”
As I was laughing my backside off, Sirius jumped up and over the coffee table between us and dragged me over to his and Remus’s couch. I fell into the seat, and Sirius sandwiched me against Remus.
“Hey! Jenyse is ours, too!” James protested for Peter and himself. Remus joined Sirius in making a show of tauntingly wrapping an arm around me.
Grinning out of pure flattery, I joked, “Boys, boys! There’s plenty of me to go around!” I couldn’t help but smirk at the truth of that statement. It’s ridiculous how many different Jenyse’s there are in me. There’s the silly Marauder-Jenyse, the motherly Travis-Jenyse, and the witty, sappy Alec-Jenyse. I wouldn’t be Jenyse Syl Baccari if I lacked any one of those parts of me. All three together – especially the Alec-Jenyse – made me complete.
“Nope,” Remus disagreed, “there is definitely not enough of you to go around.” He pulled me closer to him.
“Hey! Moony, I thought we were together on this!” Sirius exclaimed, feigning hurt.
“Jenyse knows I love her the most.”
“No way! I love her the most.”
“Pff,” James interrupted, “we all know that I love Jenyse the most. And she loves me the most, too! I mean, what kind of life would yours be without any J-time?”
I had to admit…a life with no J-time? Yeah. Not for me. “You know, I think Peter loves me the most. His argument was just so touching!”
His friends’ laughter made Peter blushed to the color of the crimson couch he was sitting on. “You know you’re bloody awesome, Jenyse,” he mumbled. “I think there’s enough of you to go around.”
“Aw, thanks, Peter!” I was truly touched. Peter never said stuff like that about me. James, Sirius, and Remus glared at Peter. Despite my inflated ego, I jumped up and prepared to crush some little boys’ hearts.
“No!” all four of them yelled.
“You just got here! Don’t leave!” Sirius whined.
I smiled at their complaints. All of their arms reached out toward me in a needing manner, making me chuckle. I went around the couches, kissing the tops of Remus’s, Sirius’s, and James’s heads in turn and ruffled up Peter’s hair. “Sorry, but I need some coffee.” Not to mention some Alec-y goodness. “Love you guys, too!”
Their complaints continued as I walked toward the portrait hole. I heard James cry out, dramatically, “I love you, Jenyse Syl Baccari! I need you! Right now!”
Shaking my head, I kept on walking. Right before I crawled out, I caught Remus’s quiet and thoughtful voice ask, “Is it just me, or did she seem oddly and exceptionally…happy?”
My smirk was still in place when I ran – alright, alright; skipped – into Travis on a staircase. I grabbed his shirt when my haste and the staircase, starting to move, made me lose my balance. My clumsiness sent me into a fit of laughter. “Sorry, Trav!”
Travis steadied me on the step above him. Chuckling, he said, “No problem, Jenyse. Why were you skipping? Have you finally accepted that you are of the female persuasion?”
I stuck my tongue out at him, in too much of a good mood to be offended.
He nodded slowly with an eyebrow raised. “Mature. What? No witty remark? That’s a first.”
I was pretty surprised, myself. Normally, I would have retorted with a clever, and possibly disturbing, remark. And right then and there? Nothing. Absolutely nothing surfaced. And I had a pretty good idea as to why. My happy high this morning was not due to nothing. Oh, most definitely not. I knew exactly what had caused this feeling of ecstasy. As girly as it may be, it was Alec; Alec’s presence. Having Alec back in my daily routine (oh, don’t think dirty) made me the happiest person alive.
“Hellooo?” Travis’s slightly concerned voice brought me back from my thoughts. His hand was waving in front of my eyes. “You alright, Jenyse?”
I went to smile, but found that the corners of my lips were already as far up as they could go. “I am absolutely perfect, Trav.”
“That’s good,” he said with a grin. I was sure he was comparing my current mood to when I was crying in his arms, just the other day. “I’m really glad to hear that.”
The staircase came to a halt. The sudden jolt made me fall forward again. Travis caught me just in time.
“Whoa, there, Jenyse,” he said while I just laughed. “Well, I’m going up. You going down?”
I nodded. “Yep.” He shot me a smile and made a move to walk up, but I stopped him. “Hey, Trav? Sorry about the other day.”
For once, I predicted his reaction incorrectly. He didn’t become uncomfortable. He reached out and rubbed my arm. “No problem, Jenyse. Really. I’m just really glad you’re okay now.” He looked as though he wanted to ask why that was, but cleverly didn’t.
I smiled gratefully at my “son.” Lately, he seemed to have turned into the parental between the two of us. It made me proud. “Thanks for that, too. I owe you big.”
“Hell yeah!” he stated, laughing. “Do you know how gross it was, having all your snot all over my pillow and clothes?”
I rolled my eyes and lightly hit his chest. “Yeah, yeah. Alright, I’ll see you later. Love you, Travis.” I reached down and hugged him tightly.
He hugged me back, just as tightly. “I love you, too, Mama Jenyse.”
Chuckling, I kissed his cheek, then released him. I gave him one last smile before bounding down the rest of the stairs.
“Don’t trip!” Travis called out, teasingly.
“Silence!” I yelled back, over my shoulder.
I heard his laugh echo around us. “There she is!” I knew what Travis was referring to. That was a normal Jenyse response. Poor boys. They hadn’t an idea what was up with me. Oh well. Their loss.
I couldn’t help but think of how it would be if my boys knew Alec. Would they get along? Would they be overly protective over me and hate him? I had a feeling Travis wouldn’t be too into my Alec. Alec had more of a Marauder-type personality, yet was totally different from them, at the same time. He had the whole Quidditch thing and goofy and witty side to him that the Marauders would appreciate. But then, at times he was calm collected, and sweet. It would be fun to see how their personalities would go together. Would they suit each other’s or would they clash?
Speaking of clashing….I was doing a lot of that in the past, oh, five minutes? Why is it that whenever I turn a corner in this castle, I run into somebody? It’s ridiculous, and frankly, it’s getting old. Oh Merlin, who do I have to apologize to this time? I hope it’s not a smarmy git like Snape or Malfoy or anyone else in that little useless gang of theirs.
As was custom during my recurring moments of clumsiness, I grabbed onto the shirtfront of the person right (in the most literal sense as possible) in front of me.
Male. Nice bod. The hands that belonged to this familiar, burly, male body grabbed my waist quickly, preventing me from falling onto the ground. I smirked into the shirt I was still clutching. I didn’t make a move to untangle myself from him. All I did was straighten out my legs, rebalancing myself. I still rested my head against his chest. I was completely content with the situation.
Alec ruined the moment by laughing at me. I scowled into his shirt. I tried pushing him away from me, but he just reeled me back in, even closer than I was before.
“Hey, Jenyse,” he greeted me in a low voice.
“Alec,” I attempted to grumble in response, but his close proximity seemed to soften my tone. I watched intently as his mouth grew into my favorite lopsided grin. I knew he knew how he made me act; how I would melt just by being in the same room as him, how the whole “tough-arse chick” act vanished, at the sight of him.
He tightened his hold around my waist. “How’d you know it was me so quick?”
I could feel the blood rushing up to paint my cheeks an embarrassing shade of red. Of course. I hid my face in his chest and took a deep breath for a second, before answering. “Your chest.” I peeked up at his reaction.
He looked as though he was having hysterics. “My chest?!”
I glared up at his mocking expression. “Yes. You have a particularly sculpted chest, which I highly appreciate, by the way – from a distance, too.” I smirked, feeling my boldness come rushing back. “It’s not my fault my brain has taken to memorizing it.”
He reciprocated my smirk. “Well, now…” he said, mocking flattery. He bent down and touched his lips to mine. We stood still like that for a moment or two before I broke the contact.
Seeing him frown made me smile. I would have let it last longer, but I still had more burning questions about our little situation. “So, I’m rather curious….” Alec gave me a worried look and I made a face right back at him. “How is it that whenever I try and find you, I always do, rather easily? This is a hell-of-a big castle.” I eyed him suspiciously.
Alec took a step back, bringing me with him, to lean back against the wall. He scrutinized me warily. He took a deep, dramatic breath before giving me his reply. “I can hear you calling me.” My eyebrows shot up. Well, that wasn’t weird…. “In my head. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true. It’s like I have a Jenyse radar. Whenever you want me or are searching for me, something just goes off in my head. ‘Alec! Oh, Alec!’”
Despite my awe, I snorted unattractively. “Was that supposed to be an impression of me?” He laughed as I shook my head in wonder. “So, you can…read my mind?”
He rolled his eyes. “No, Jenyse. Like I said; I just hear you calling whenever you’re looking for me, or whatever.” Hm. I guess I kind of understood. “Though, it would be quite nifty if I were able to read your mind. I mean, honestly…my chest?! What about my abs? Do you have them to memory? And my ears, too?”
I scowled at him. His loud cackling made me want to push him away, but I had to say that I was pretty content there, in his arms, whether he was making fun of me or not. His grin pressed against my frown. I knew, somewhere in my head, it was just to distract me from being angry at him, but did I mind? No, not really. I went on my tippy-toes to make it easier for him to reach down. I guessed he had the same idea, since he slowly moved his hands down my back, stopping right below my bottom, and hoisted me up. Automatically, I wrapped my legs around him. Without stopping the heated snog-fest we were having, he turned around so that I was the one pressed against the wall. Using it as a support for me, he released his hold on me with one arm, and moved it to hold my face in his hand.
It was like he had a radar for my breathing patterns, too. When I was close to passing out from either lack of breath or all that was Alec – I wasn’t quite sure which was right – Alec slowed the kiss to a calm, passionate one, and eventually moved his face back an inch or two, to give me some air. I bet he could have gone all day, doing that. It wasn’t like he needed any air. Damn my bodily functions.
He caught his breath much more quickly than I did, and smirked. “How was that for a distraction?”
I smiled fondly at him. Such an Alec response. “It was pretty ding dang dong good!” I replied in a mock surprised-you-could-have-expected-any-less-than-that tone.
He smiled, amused. I gave him one last peck before he slid me slowly down, back onto the floor. He took my hand and manually wrapped my arm around him while he wrapped his own arm around my waist, and started walking in no particular direction. With my free hand, I held his hand that was at my waist.
We walked in a comfortable silence before Alec broke it. “So, I saw you with Travis.”
I frowned. “Are you following him? I swear he’s not as bad as you think.”
Chuckling, he kissed my nose. “What if you’re the one I’m following?” I blushed and kept silent. “Oh, Jenyse…. So, how many people have you tripped or run into in the past two months?”
I knew he was teasing, but I genuinely thought about it. “Well, there’s you, Trav, James, Remus, Sirius, Peter, Lily, Snape, a few second years, McGonagall, Slughorn, Dumbledore….”
“You ran into Dumbledore?!” As I predicted, he burst out in laughter. “That must have been quite a sight.”
“Twas. I almost knocked the Headmaster to the ground.”
He shook his head in amusement, before changing the subject. “So, you’ve been missing out on your clues, dear Jenyse.”
“I know! It’s actually really depressing, Mr. Hayes,” I stated. “You owe me.”
“I’ll pay all my debt today,” he said, confidently. His expression grew thoughtful. “So, how many days are we missing?”
“Five,” I answered quickly. “Plus today; that’s six.” Technically, I hadn’t gotten one yesterday, but I counted his being completely honest with me a perfectly valid clue.
“Wow, Jenyse, I didn’t know you were a math genius, too.” I was going to hit him but thought twice. I didn’t want to inflict anymore pain on him, if I could avoid it. He looked confused for a moment for not receiving a reaction. He shrugged and moved onto the clues. “Alright. Missing clue number one: my birthday is March 1, 1958.”
“Phew!” He sent me a startled glance. “Good thing you were born in ’58.”
“And why is that?”
“I would have had to dump you.” Aw! He looked so sadly alarmed! I suppose I better explain what I meant before he starts crying. “I’ve got younger-guy phobia. I could never ever date a younger guy. I know it’s weird, but that’s just me.”
He sighed in relief. “Good thing, then.” He chuckled and pulled me closer to his side. “Missing clue numb-”
“Wait!” I cut him off. “You’re 19?!” He nodded slowly with a raised brow. “I’m with an older guy!” I sang.
Alec threw his head back and let out a booming laugh. “Do you want your other clues or not?”
I sobered up and said, “Yes, please,” in an innocent voice.
He smiled. “Okay.” Alec took a deep breath. It was then that I knew he was going to reveal something very deep to me. I rubbed his back in attempt to soothe him. “So, on Christmas day of ’75, a few of the other seventh year Ravenclaws thought it’d be fun to go out on the ice of the Great Lake. I went willingly, thinking of how harmless it would be. It was perfectly fine – hell, we were all having a blast! Until somebody dared anybody to go out further. I, being a complete idiot and showoff, took the dare. I got out pretty far. But I wasn’t paying attention.” His expression grew distant. I knew he was imagining being there again. “I took another step back. The ice broke from right underneath me. I only heard a split second worth of screams before all sound was blocked by the ice cold water rushing into my ears. I remember trying to get back to the opening in the ice, but I’d lost it. I kept trying to swim back up, but missed the hole every time. The last time I tried coming to the surface, I think I hit my head and lost consciousness.
“I think Dumbledore eventually got me out, but it was a little too late. He probably could have brought me back with a spell or something, but I’d had a bunch of head injuries from Quidditch, before, so I think this one was just the icing on the cake. I woke up, and I was in St. Mungo’s. But I wasn’t me. I was detached from my body.” He seemed to come back to the present as his eyes refocused on my face. “And here I am now.”
I didn’t know what to say. He had just revealed to me the biggest clue he could have ever given me. I could feel my eyes tingling. I had never once thought of what he would have had to go through to be in this state. I hid my face in his chest, hugging him tightly. His arms held me back just as tightly.
“I’m so sorry, Alec. That’s horrible.”
“Mm,” he murmured in agreement. “But it’s done. And I’ve tried to move on.” He kissed the top of my head, and I looked into his eyes. He had on a sad smile, which I reciprocated. “Speaking of moving on…” he chuckled, “missing clue number three?”
I took a deep breath to calm myself. “Shoot.”
“Remember when I said I’d come back for you, yesterday?” I nodded. “Well, I’ve spent hours every single day trying to find ways to come back for you, and only you. I don’t know how many times I’ve laid on top of my body, praying to be reattached to myself. I’ve never spent so much time in a library in my whole life. But I swear to you, Jenyse,” he held my face in his hands, “I will find a way.”
I cupped his face in my own hand. “I know you will.” He rested his lips on my forehead before pulling back and giving me another clue.
“Alright, here’s a good one.” He looked into my eyes as I waited expectantly. “I want to get married.”
I started choking – on what, I wasn’t sure, but I think it may have been my own saliva. Did he really just say what I thought he’d said?! The moment my coughing fit ended, I blurted out, “Ian Hayes! What did you just say?!”
To my displeasure, he laughed loudly at me. “Jenyse! That’s not what I meant! Just that I would like to, someday.”
To say that I was relieved would have been a horrible understatement. I punched him in the abs, not caring if I inflicted pain on him this time. He was the one who almost gave me a heart attack!
He laughed again, grabbing my good punching hand. A familiar smirk grew across his flawless face. “Why, Jenyse? Would you want to marry me?” He turned me around and pulled my back into his chest, and nuzzled my neck.
My eyes grew wide. Did I? What a stupid question. Of course I did. I couldn’t see myself with any other person on the planet. Alec was mine. Forever and always. “Yes…” I murmured quietly, “…someday.” I blushed at my answer.
I felt him smile against my neck. He kissed that same spot then turned my head to grant my lips with the same pleasure. “I’d like to marry you too, Jenyse.” I smiled broadly at that statement. “Someday,” he added, just as I had.
“Someday far, far in the future,” I clarified. “You know, when you’re corporeal.”
Alec chuckled and tousled my hair. “Okay, here’s another one.” I hoped it wasn’t an embarrassing one, again. “I once got Snape into detention because I was bored one day.”
I let out a laugh, 1/4 relieved, 3/4 amused. “When? How?”
“A few weeks ago. I lifted up McGonagall’s robes while Snape was walking right next to her.”
I couldn’t help but laugh hysterically. I wished I could tell the Marauders that. They’d have quite a laughing fit. “Poor Minnie! I bet she’s scarred for life.”
“Who wouldn’t be? Alright. Now you’re all caught up on all your clues, my dear Jenyse,” he said, lightheartedly.
“No, I’m not!” I retorted defensively. I liked my clues, and I was determined to get the most I could. “You haven’t given me today’s!”
“I know,” he stated with a secretive smile. “I owe you. You’ll just have to wait.”
I eyed him warily. “Fine,” I said, reluctant. I turned in his arms to face him with narrow eyes. “But I’m holding you to it.”
A smirk graced his lips at my warning. “Oh, you can hold me to anything you want, Ms. Baccari.”
On hearing a declaration like that, I knew it was inevitable that something physically passionate follow it, but my eyes grew wide, anyway, at the feel of his hands sliding lower down my back. He obliterated all thoughts of surprise by covering my mouth with his. I wished it would never end. Alec did a pretty damn good job of granting me that wish.
Yuck. School. Classes. They had started just yesterday and I was already sick of them. They took my Alec time away from me. I’d only had half of an hour with him for the past two days (yesterday and today). My clue yesterday was that he’s changed his mind on his career. He didn’t say what he wanted to do now, though. I met with him earlier today and he told me that he would try and get along with James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Travis once he reattached himself to his body. I was thrilled. I knew they would get along really well, and I couldn’t wait for that day to come.
Finally, I finished the last essay I was assigned and ran up the girls’ dormitory staircase to get changed and pass out on my bed. It was still early, but I was positively exhausted. I went straight to the bathroom to brush my teeth, then went into my room. Since none of my roommates were in the room, I didn’t bother going back into the bathroom to get changed. Feeling Alec deprived because of classes restarting, I found comfort in the same outfit I wore the first night we met. I threw the baggy blue pajama pants on, smiling to myself.
I still remembered the first thing he said to me. “Ooh, lead me not into temptation – I can find the way myself,” he’d said. I shook my head and chuckled at the memory of me thinking he was a straight up dick. And look at us now.
It was as I was slipping out of my white button-down school shirt that I heard a noise from behind me. Terrified, I quickly covered my chest with my shirt. I hadn’t heard the door or the window open. Who the hell would – or even could – be in my room right now?! I turned around to tell whoever the hell it was off, but stopped short, rolling my eyes and breathing heavily.
“MERLIN, Alec! What the bloody hell is wrong with you?!” I turned my back on his smirking face, slipped my shirt back on, and buttoned a few of the necessary buttons as quickly as I could. I turned back to him with my arms in the air. He was closer to me than he had been the first time I turned around. “Have you misplaced your mind?!”
“Hey,” he said with that stupid smile, still staring at my chest, “it’s not my fault I only have enough blood to run one thing at a time.”
My fist easily reaching his chest made me realize how close he was to me. And close it was. But not close enough for me to lose my wit. No sir-ee. “Nice try, kid. Too bad you don’t have any blood at the moment to back up your theory.”
“Well, then, let’s just say that my mind’s a little farther south than usual.” Alec took a step closer.
I swallowed, trying to keep myself thinking straight. “Oh, so it’s at your feet, now?” I inquired, implying that it had always been in the area that he was indicating.
His hands clutched at my shirt and pulled me slowly toward him. With his lips stopped just a centimeter away from my own, he whispered, “Oh, Jenyse….”
Alright, I won’t lie. It was me who closed that space between us. I just couldn’t stay away. My embarrassment vanished and I was all over him as much as he was all over me. He kept taking steps closer to me, but there was no more space between us. I took small shuffles back to keep my balance, all the while avoiding separating our lips.
His skilled lips moved against my equally eager ones. I felt him slip his hands under the hem of my shirt. I could tell he wanted to, but his wide hands roamed no higher than my waist.
He was still taking small steps forward. Eventually I felt something hit the backs of my legs. I landed on my bed with Alec on top of me. He was sure to hold himself so that not all of his weight was on me. I grabbed his arms, trying to pull him onto me even more. Our tongues fought for dominance, but we kept coming up even.
His mouth strayed away when I couldn’t handle the limited amount of oxygen. I turned my head to give him easier access to my neck. The second I felt as though I had enough breath in my lungs, I grabbed the sides of his head and brought his face back up to mine.
For the first time during our…interaction…I felt his hands travel higher up my body. I involuntarily had a sharp intake of breath.
All of a sudden, there was no weight on top of me at all. Alec had rolled off of me and lay next to me on the bed, breathing as heavily as me. I turned my head a tiny bit and saw him with his hands covering his face.
I swallowed. “Alec?”
He didn’t speak for a while, and when he did, it was quietly. “Jenyse, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I just got…out of control. I wasn’t thinking. You’re too intoxicating for your own good.”
I snorted, not very prettily. I turned onto my side and propped my head up with my elbow on the bed. I moved his hands away from his face. He looked at me slowly. “Don’t worry about it, Alec.” I pecked him on the cheek. He smiled sheepishly up at me and tucked my hair behind my ear. I let out a quiet chuckle. “I wonder how that would have looked to a casual observer.”
“Just imagine. You laying there, seemingly snogging and grabbing at air.” I wanted to wipe that smirk right off his face. Of course I had to be seen as the weirdo to an outsider.
“Hey, what are you doing in here, anyway?”
“I’m giving you the clue I owed you.”
“What?” I asked, not understanding. “That you can snog really, really well? Yeah, Alec, I think you’ve made that pretty damn clear. What do you mean?”
His smirk grew more prominent. “This isn’t only the second time I’ve been in here.” My eyebrows shot up in shock. “I come in and watch you a lot. And yes,” he stopped me from saying something, “you may call me a stalker.”
“Alec! What the hell?! Tell me you haven’t been in my underwear drawer! Or haven’t seen me undressed!” I could feel my face getting hot.
“Sadly, I haven’t had the pleasure of either.”
“Good,” I grumbled as I hit him on the head. “You git. Why would you watch me? I’ve told you. I’m not very interesting.”
“Stop denying it. Yes, you are interesting,” he said while he rubbed the spot that I hit.
I met his smiling lips when he reached up to kiss me. I jumped higher than ever when the dormitory door swung open. It was one of my annoying chirpy little roommates. She was way too girly and I believed she was part of the Sirius Black fan club. She didn’t give me one glance as she headed toward her dresser.
I looked at Alec. The look on his face was ridiculous. I couldn’t hold in a snigger-snort which caused my dear ol’ roomie to send me a death glare. I ignored it easily. Alec glared at me too, from his new standing position.
He sighed. “Fine. I guess it’s time for me to go,” he said, not needing to keep his voice down. “Good night, Jenyse. Sweet dreams…of me.”
I rolled my eyes and stuck my tongue out at him. “Night, Alec,” I whispered as quietly as I could, so that Blondie over there couldn’t hear me. Before disappearing from (my) sight, he left a lingering kiss on my head.
I woke up the next morning, secretly hoping Alec would stalkerishly be by my bedside, waiting for me to awaken. Sadly, he wasn’t, but I discovered a ripped piece of parchment in my hand when I opened my eyes this morning. Smiling, I eagerly smoothed out the note out and read the messy script.
‘Jenyse, I’m so, so sorry, but I can’t meet with you today. Something’s happening. It’s nothing to worry about, so stop staring at this piece of parchment with a frown on those pretty lips of yours. I just don’t want you to miss a clue. So, today’s clue is that I used to be acquainted with Jace. Yep. Back in my early days of Hogwarts. Then she randomly stopped talking to me. Alright, Jenyse. Stop looking jealous. I had no feelings for your sister. I promise. I hope you’re not upset with me. I promise I’ll be back in your arms soon. I miss you, too. Thinking about that cute little butt of yours always –Alec’
He knew me too well. I was sad, but not upset with him. I could deal. One whole Saturday with nothing to do. Yippee.
‘Jenyse, I hope you don’t hate me now. I won’t be able to see you again, today. I know, I suck. Something’s happening and I don’t know what it is. But please, don’t stress over it. For me. Your clue today is that I came and gave you a bunch of kisses all over your face last night to make up for not being there. I’m so sorry. Don’t forget me. –Alec’
Great! Another uneventful day in the life of Jenyse Syl Baccari. Owl the presses!
‘Jenyse, I know, I know. You want to tear this paper into shreds, pretending that it’s my face. You have no idea how sorry I am. I know how annoyingly cryptic these notes are. I’m at St. Mungo’s. I’ve been here since after I left your room on Friday. I need you to promise me that you won’t worry or stress over me. I’m fine. Please stay calm and be yourself, for me, Jenyse. Remember how I said I don’t want to be a Pro-Quidditch player anymore? I’ve decided I want to be a Healer. I’ve been watching your father. I want to do what he does; take care of comatose patients. You’re probably thinking, “Wouldn’t that bring back bad memories?” It might. But I’d feel good about what I do, considering I can relate to them. Alright, I’ve got to go. Please keep thinking of me, Jenyse, as I’ll be thinking of you. Take care. –Alec’
There was no note in my hand when I woke up the following morning. That was when I knew something was wrong. I’d had a hunch since the first note Alec left me. He kept telling me not to worry. Of course there would be something to worry about. And now, I was not only worried, but I was stressed and even terrified. What could have happened?
It was an hour after lunch that I couldn’t take it anymore. What had happened to Alec?
I was walking through the halls, searching for Alec, when my legs took over my actions. All of a sudden, I was running to Dumbledore’s office. I didn’t know what I was going to say, but there was nothing else I could think of.
I used the same password McGonagall had used the last time we went up, and the gargoyle moved. I ran up the staircase and to the door of his office. I rapped on the door anxiously. Dumbledore called for me to enter. I ran in and right to the front of his desk, putting my hands on it.
“Ms. Baccari? What’s wrong?” he asked, concerned at my gasping form.
“Professor, you have to let me go to St. Mungo’s! Please! I can’t explain why, but I just need to go. Please, Professor Dumbledore!”
He paused, scrutinizing me from over his half-moon spectacles, making m e want to reach over, grab handfuls of his robes, and shake him. Hard.
“Professor, my friend – he- he’s there right now, and I think something’s happened. I need to make sure he’s alright. Please.”
After a moment of silence, Dumbledore gave me a nod. “Very well, Ms. Baccari. I will permit you to go this time.” I sighed a huge breath of relief. He got up and began to lead me out of his office. “I do hope that your friend is alright.”
“Thank you, so much, sir. I promise this won’t happen again.”
“I’d sure hope not,” he said. He led me to the entrance of the school and opened the gate for me. I walked out and turned back to him to thank him once more. “You’re quite welcome. Give your friend my best.”
I nodded right before Disapparating. My surroundings formed into the waiting room of St. Mungo’s. I ignored the questioning of the witch at the front desk and ran down the hall in the direction of Ian Hayes’s hospital room. I skidded to a halt, right in front of the room. The door was open and nobody was in it but Alec and Ian Hayes.
“Alec!” I ran to him and buried my face in his chest, hugging him.
“Jenyse,” he sounded surprised and a bit angry, “what are you doing here?”
I looked up at him, eyebrows furrowed. “You didn’t leave me a note today. And I couldn’t find you. And I was worried. And, and-”
Alec shut me up with a calming kiss. “I’m sorry, Jenyse. Please calm down. You shouldn’t have come. I asked you to promise.”
“You can’t just expect me to sit around at school while you’re no where to be found with no explanation! Tell me what’s going on!”
He looked down for a second then back at me. “Jenyse, I think I’m dying.”
“Alec, what are you talking about? You’re a spirit. You can’t die.” What the hell was he playing at?
His eyebrows drew together as he stared me in the eye. “Jenyse….” His eyes moved away from mine and focused on something behind me. I hesitantly turned around.
My head started spinning as my eyes zeroed in on the face of Ian Hayes. Realization caused my eyes to grow wide. His body. He was talking about his body. Ian Hayes’s body was dying, and in result, so was his spirit.
“Alec, are you sure? How do you know? I mean, how can you be sure?” I was getting louder as each question came out of my mouth.
His hands rubbed my arms up and down in a soothing motion. “I don’t know. I just feel it. Something just doesn’t feel right.”
I could hear the beep of the magical machine, echoing the beat of his heart. It sounded normal to me. I turned back to Alec, but he wasn’t looking at me. “Let me call my dad! He’ll do something!”
“No, Jenyse,” he shook his head, “I don’t think anyone can do anything.”
My eyes clouded over with unwelcomed tears. Alec couldn’t die. He just couldn’t. A tear escaped the barrier I was trying to hold, and ran down my cheek.
At the sound of my sniff, Alec looked me in the eye. “Oh, Jenyse. Don’t cry. Please,” he pleaded as he wiped the tear off of my face with his thumb. He kissed my forehead and pulled me into a hug. This only made the tears come faster.
I held on tightly, knowing I had only a limited time to be in his arms. I didn’t want to lose him. He was everything I needed. I wouldn’t be able to live a day without him, knowing he wasn’t anywhere else in this world.
The beeping of Ian’s heartbeat was slowing. I gasped and pulled back to look at Alec’s face.
“There’s not much time left.”
“No, Alec! It’s not happening!” I wasn’t only trying to convince him. The convincing was directed mostly at myself. The tears were falling freely now.
Alec took my face in his hands and looked me straight in the eye. “Jenyse,” he whispered, “listen to me. I want you to know that you are absolutely everything to me. And not just because you’re the only one I can touch and speak to. You are amazing and no one else can compare to you. I’d rather be a spirit and be with you everyday than live without ever knowing you. No matter what happens, I will always remember you. I will always be yours. No matter what. Please, never forget me, but, Jenyse…I want you to be happy.” He wiped some of the tears on my face with his fingers. “Please, still remember me this way, but move on. Get married, have kids. Don’t linger on the memory of me. You’re the most family-oriented person I know. You need a family, and I know that. I don’t want to be the one to prevent that. Please, just do this one thing for me.”
I nodded, willing to do anything for him. His lips covered mine in a needing kiss.
Alec pulled back, his eyes roaming across my face, taking everything in, before resting on my eyes. “Jenyse?”
“Alec?” My voice was raspy and was barely heard, due to my sobs.
“Clue number thirty-two?” He paused to kiss away a few more of my tears. He looked back, deep into my eyes. “Jenyse Syl Baccari…I love you.”
The tears fell even faster.
I crushed my lips to his, in haste. I willed my brain to commit this moment to memory; to commit all of Alec to memory. His hands grasped at my hair and neck while mine held only his face. I trailed my fingers across the contours of his face, memorizing each curve. I memorized the feel of his hair between my fingers. I memorized the way his full lips moved eagerly, yet tenderly, against mine. I memorized the way he made me feel.
The way I loved him.
The time in between each beep grew longer. The pressure on my lips decreased. I opened my eyes, but didn’t dare break contact. The sight that greeted me pulled harsh sobs out of me. Alec was getting less and less solid. His eyebrows were drawn together. He was determined to linger as long as he could, using me as an anchor.
And then he was gone.
I grabbed one of the chairs in the room and ran to the door. I locked it and then used the chair and a few spells as extra reinforcements.
I went over to Ian’s side and smoothed back his hair. My legs could no longer hold me up. I sat in the chair right next to his head and leaned forward, caressing his face with one of my hands and holding his hand with my other. I ignored the angry knocks on the other side of the door from the nurses.
“If you die on me, Alec,” I whispered, “I’ll kick your arse.”
I knew it would never happen, but I wished that crooked smile of his would appear on the lips of this body.
The elongated beeping turned into a sole, long drone, sending me into uncontrollable sobs and unrelenting tears. I got up and kissed the lips of the still body that lay before me.
“I love you, Alec.”
I sat and broke down, hunched over his torso. It was as if pain was all I knew, now. Pain was all over me. Pain was the only feeling in me.
For a moment, I thought I’d lost my mind. I thought I heard the beeping of the machine grow detached once again. I scolded myself, telling myself it was my hopes trying to fool me.
But then, the hand that I was tightly clutching reciprocated the pressure.
No. It was just my imagination. It wasn’t possible. His body, nor spirit, no longer had any life. He was gone.
My imagination went running again when I thought his chest was moving up and down, below me. I cursed myself for thinking such things.
It wasn’t until I heard a small groan that I believed.
The pain that had fully numbed me not a minute ago vanished completely. My body shot up quickly. My flying arm hit something solid on its way up. I gasped. It hit his head.
His groan was unmistakable this time. His eyebrows were drawn together in slight pain.
My arms flew around him and engulfed him in a much needed hug. “Alec! I thought you were dead!”
He groaned again at the impact of my body against his. “Sorry to disappoint,” he grunted.
A grin grew across my face at the sound of his voice. He was alive. He was actually alive! The feel of his breathing figure against me made me firmly believe that he really would always be mine. I pulled back to crush my lips against his. It took him a second to respond, but when he did, I didn’t bother questioning his hesitation. It was pure bliss to have him here, kissing me back. I imagined there was a sparkle in my eyes when I pulled back and looked at him. We were both breathing heavily while we stared into each other’s eyes.
“Whoa,” he said, with obvious pleasure in his raspy voice. “What was that for?”
I hit him lightly on the arm. “What the hell do you mean, ‘What was that for?!’ You’re back!”
His eyebrows furrowed. He leaned back into the pillows and looked at me with a strange expression. “I…never left. I’m sorry, do I know you?”
I snorted. “Good joke.”
He shook his head, looking completely confused. “Joke? That wasn’t a joke. I don’t think I know you.”
“What? Of course you do. It’s me. It’s Jenyse.” What the hell was wrong with him? Why was he saying that? Was he blind? Did I really look that bad?
He shook his head again. Realization had not yet reached his face as I expected. “I’m sorry; I don’t think I know anyone named Jenyse. Are you sure you’ve got the right room?” He looked around the room, taking in his surroundings for the first time. “I’m in a hospital, right? My name’s Ian Hayes.”
Realization chose to cross my face instead.
He didn’t remember.
His name repeated loudly only in my head.
And then the numbing pain returned. Pain was everywhere. Pain flooded through all of me. Pain was in every fiber of my being.
Pain was everything.
A/N: i know, i know. you wanna kill me. i'm sorry. but that's the way it goes. thank you ALL again, for reading my story! i really hope you enjoyed the ride. i'd really appreciate it if you'd leave a review (good OR bad - i know you all wanna avada kedavra me) telling me your thoughts. thanks so so much!
p.s. it'd be awesome if you'd keep a lookout for any future stories from me. and if you'd read the stories of the authors i thanked!! i promise they'll be worth your time! give 'em some love!
p.p.s. oh, i just can't WAIT till you guys see the banner Molly Raesly made for the sequel to this story. which is now UP AND POSTED!!! leave a review for this, then go read the sequel! please!
p.p.p.s. i wonder who actually reads my author's notes.... haha. i suppose many of you do, considering all the reviews i'm getting! you guys are good. haha.
p.p.p.p.s. love you guys!!!!
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