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Ruthless by maraudersmap
Chapter 1 : A Dying Sanity
Rating: 15+Chapter Reviews: 7

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Chapter one: A Dying Sanity

Disclaimer: I didn’t write the Harry Potter books. Shocker, huh? 

”Lily,” he murmured, and his voice was soft. Too soft. My heart’s pace increased considerably. My hands trembled as I flipped another page in the book, pretending not to notice him.

He removed the book from my lap and put it on the table. I wanted to be mad at him, and a part of me really was, but it was silly. I was the one who’d got us into this mess in the first place, after all. As much as I hated the fact, I couldn’t deny it.

Cupping my face with his hands, he forced me to look into his smoldering eyes. With a pathetic whimper, I brought my lips to his. I kissed him deeply. Giving in yet again.

These kisses were breaking me, slowly turning me into someone not even I could recognize. It was worth it, though. It had always been worth it.


”So you’re meaning to tell me,” Nellie Michaels said with an incredulous expression upon her face, “that you don’t think David Parkinson is the most delicious creature on earth. That is scientific proof that you, my friend, are crazy.” She paused, and then added, “May your sanity rest in peace.”

I snorted, eyeing the bloke in question critically. He was sitting with his studious Ravenclaw friends on a table not far from ours, reading. His golden curls fell into his sky blue eyes with undeniable elegance, and his angelic face was wearing an expression of utmost focus. I could tell, even from where we were sitting, that he was gorgeous – so gorgeous in fact, that he could easily have been a model. Few boys at Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry could boast of such sex appeal. I had a feeling that David’s glorious presence was the reason Nellie had been so determined to study in the library tonight.

“I dunno,” I said pursing my lips, “he’s probably the best looking guy in school…”

“-With the exception of Sirius Black, of course,” Nellie added.

“And let’s not forget about Potter,” a blonde sixth year from the table beside ours interjected, clearly having listened to every world we were saying. I rolled my eyes.

“One of the best looking guys in school, then,” I continued. “But I don’t know him, and therefore it feels wrong to... desire him.”

I felt slightly silly when Nellie moaned with annoyance. “Oh, come on, Lily!” she exclaimed. “Why do you have to be so bloody perfect all the time? Can’t you just judge someone by their appearance this once?”

Her brown eyes were wide, pleading. I tried not to let it get to me, I really did, but it wasn’t easy. The fact remained that I didn’t like the idea of being superficial, no matter how gorgeous the Ravenclaw happened to be. For all I knew, he could be a shallow jerk. A handsome face wasn’t everything. I’d learned that the hard way.

I narrowed my eyes. “No,” I said simply. “Yes, I admit that the guy’s good looking, Nellie. But do you know what?”

“What?” she said dryly.

“That’s not anywhere near enough.”

“Is that why you don’t like James Potter as well?” the eavesdropping sixth year wanted to know. I glared, hating her for bringing him up.

“Yeah, what’s the deal with you two, anyway?” Nellie said. I sighed. Couldn’t they see I wasn’t in the mood to talk about him? Although, truth to be told, I was never in the mood to talk about James Potter.

“He’s the head boy,” I stated, a fact that the whole school knew very well by now – it had been on everyone’s lips for the past twenty four hours. “To my head girl.”

“Well, duh,” the blonde sixth year’s friend said. I knew this girl – she was the gossip queen of Hogwarts, Laura White. With her sweet face and innocent blue eyes, she looked quite normal, nice even, but I wasn’t fooled. Discussing James Potter with her didn’t seem to be a great idea.

“And…” I said, figuring that the whole school would know what I was about to say by tomorrow either way, “I’ve decided to ask him if he wants to start over. So that maybe we can be friends.”

Perhaps I should’ve been offended by their sceptical facial expressions, but I couldn’t really blame them. If I had been in their place, I would’ve been just as crestfallen. It was, after all, a common knowledge that James Potter and I had spent the majority of our six years at this school detesting each other. Sure, he’d asked me out a couple of times in fifth year, but that was just for the hell of it: He had wanted to prove to the world that he could have every girl in school. I was proud to say that I hadn’t given in, not even when his smile had been more charming than Nellie’s and a movie star’s put together.

“Oh, don’t look so surprised,” I muttered, “It was bound to happen sooner or later.”

Nellie frowned. “I suppose,” she admitted, “but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s the end of an era.”

“Yeah,” the blonde sixth year said, blue eyes wide, “I never thought I'd live to see this day. Lily Evans and James Potter, friends!”

“We’re not friends yet,” I reminded her, but it didn’t seem to matter. “What’s your name, again?” I asked the blonde, trying to change the subject. She seemed slightly offended.

“Julia Abbot,” she informed me, sticking her nose in the air. I smiled politely.

“Anyway,” Laura interrupted, rolling her eyes, “Are you willing to date him?”

“Who?” I laughed, “David Parkinson? I thought I’d told you that I’m not interested in-”

“Not David,” Julia cut me off impatiently. “James.”

It was my turn to be surprised. “James?” I gaped. “As in James Potter? Why in Merlin’s name would I want to date James Potter? Why would he want to date me? What exactly do you think friendship means?”

“Quiet!” Madame Pince, the scrawny librarian, exclaimed. Apparently, my outburst had been just a little too loud. I blushed.

“Sorry,” I mumbled. She scowled, but let it go. Thank Merlin.

“We didn’t mean it like that, Lily,” Nellie said, proving that she did in fact, possess some decency. “Someone,” she said, glaring at the two sixth years, “were just being rude. We know that there’s no way you’ll ever date James.”

“Thank you,” I said, turning my attention to the essay I was working on. The conversation had become a little too uncomfortable for my liking.

Deciding that I would try to befriend James had not been an easy decision. He was so superficial, clearly thinking that his excellent Quidditch skills and decent looks made everyone adore him. He acted as though he was the king of the world, the way he strutted around with his friends and followers. He’d used to hex innocent students for no reason whatsoever, and sometimes I still caught him casting particularly nasty jinks at Severus Snape. He was spoiled too. According to Nellie, his family was one of the richest pureblood families in England.

He was, in short, quite despicable. I had no choice, though. I had to be able to work with him if I wanted to be a good head girl.

I had been extremely surprised when I’d received my Hogwarts letter, informing me of my new position. I’d been so sure that this year’s head girl would be Phyllis Anderson, the most studious and responsible Ravenclaw Hogwarts had ever seen. I hadn’t even considered the possibility of receiving the badge myself. When that was what had happened, I’d figured that headmaster Dumbledore must be crazy, and my theory had been proven correct when I’d showed up at the Hogwarts express and found that James Potter, Quidditch star and prankster extraordinaire was the head boy.

“Excuse me?” A smooth voice said, and I looked up, discovering that David Parkinson was standing next to me. I smiled, admiring his perfect face: smooth, tanned skin; pearly white teeth; straight nose; full lips… It dawned upon me that he looked strangely feminine.

“Can I help you?” I asked, secretly enjoying the looks of jealousy Nellie, Julia and Laura were sending me.

“Yes, thank you, Lily. You’re the head girl, right?” he smiled. He was being polite: He already knew that I was the head girl, of course.

“I am,” I confirmed. Gracefully, he sat down in the chair next to mine.

“Congratulations,” he said. Unlike many other boys, David did not look worse up close. As a matter of fact, he looked better.

“You’ll do a great job. You were undoubtedly the best candidate for the decision.”

He was awfully nice. A liar, yes, but a nice liar.

Smiling, I said, “That’s very sweet of you, David. I was extremely surprised myself, though.”

“Really?” he inquired, seemingly astonished. I could only nod.

“I find that hard to believe,” he confessed. “The head boy is very lucky. I doubt he was surprised, though.”

We laughed at that.

“Well, how can I help you?” I then asked. “I assume you didn’t come here just to congratulate me?”

“Oh, right. Actually, I was just wondering when the next prefect meeting is…?” he trailed off.

It wasn’t what I’d expected. I knew that he was very dedicated to his prefect duties, but this was the first day of the term, after all. Most prefects hadn’t offered their duties a second thought. But that was David for you, I supposed: The handsome, intelligent and responsible Ravenclaw.


Truth was that Potter and I hadn’t bothered to think about the meeting yet – we’d figured that it would be sometime in October, though. For some reason I hesitated to tell David that.

“The upcoming Friday,” I lied easily. “Six o’clock.”

“Great. I’ll see you around, then, Lily.” With a bright smile, he got up and left the library. I smiled to myself, deciding that I’d be thrilled if Nellie gathered the courage to ask him out.

I turned around, facing three awestruck girls.

“You didn’t swoon,” Julia stated.

“He’s so gorgeous,” Nellie whispered.

“I don’t buy it,” Laura said snottily.

“Excuse me?” I said, wondering whether to be amused or offended.

“You have a weakness, Lily Evans,” she said, throwing her mane of long, brown hair over her shoulder. “It may not be David, but trust me, I’ll find out what it is.”

Then he returned to her homework, as though she’d just commented on the weather.


My strategy on how to befriend James Potter had been quite the simple one. I was to walk up to him, tell him exactly why I wanted us to try to get along, shake his hand and leave. It turned out to be more complicated than that, though. He was nowhere to be found.

Remus Lupin on the other hand, one of his best friends and partners in crime, was present. Remus, a sweet but slightly cowardly boy (He was the Gryffindor prefect, and not once had he told those stupid friends of his off), offered me a small smile when I headed towards him.

“Hey, Lily,” he greeted me.

“Have you seen Potter, Remus?” I asked, praying he wouldn’t be too shocked to respond. He merely smiled, though, which made me believe that he thought it had something to do with Potter being head boy.

“He’s at Quidditch practice,” Remus told me. I sent him a grin before rushing out of the portrait hole again.

I ran through the almost empty stone corridors of Hogwarts unnaturally fast. I didn’t even stop to flirt with the handsome Mr. Gallagher, the knight whose portrait hung outside of the charms classroom.

When I reached the grounds, I realized that it was raining. It wasn’t too bad, but I regretted wearing a jacket nonetheless. Wrapping my robes tighter around me, I headed for the massive Quidditch pitch. Seven red-clad figures were flying high up in the air.

I’d never been a huge fan of Quidditch, the noble sport of warlocks, but I could tell that the Gryffindor Quidditch team was a good one. They were throwing a ball to each other, and then there seemed to be more balls... I didn’t realize that one of the balls was heading towards me before it hit me. There was a sudden pain in my right arm, I heard someone scream, the world started spinning, and then it all went black.

Of course.

A/N: This is the first chapter of my J/L fic Ruthless. I’m very excited about this story, but sadly I don’t know when the next chapter will be up. Please review! They make my month. ^_^

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