Disclaimer: I only own the plot, Maddie, and Tyler. That's pretty much it.
A/n: Thanks to my fabulous beta for this chapter: RoseWilts- Laura! She's amazing and a great person! I love talking to her :)
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. ~Chapter Four~
I wanted to drown myself underneath the scalding hot water of the shower; I didn’t want to face dragging myself to breakfast down in the great hall. To me it seemed like the worst thing in the word; walking down to breakfast without Tyler. I slid myself down against the wall of the shower, letting my back press against the cool ceramic walls as I sat on the white plastic floor.
Tears made their way into my eyes as I let my head fall into my hands. I tried my best to hold them back, but my attempts were becoming feeble. I felt much too weak. I hated feeling so inept and incompetent.
I was growing worse, I was absolutely declining. I didn’t know for how much longer I would be able to hold on.
I had been in the shower for what was easily more than twenty minutes when I heard someone knock against the door. I was wondering who it was as I scrambled to my feet and then they spoke.
“Madison,” I stiffened when I realized that the voice belonged to a boy. My whole body tensed wondering who it was.
There was a charm on the staircase that led up to the girls’ side of the dormitories. It would turn into a slide whenever a boy tried to climb the stairs, and therefore prevented them from going up them. The Marauders, four years ago had figured out a way to cheat on this charm, with Tyler’s help they realized that they could go up the staircase by flying on their broomsticks.
Suddenly, I realized that I had allowed my mind to wander away. My mind had flown away and I was jutted back to reality when I remembered the person outside of the bathroom door.
“Who is it?” I echoed dully. I let out a small choked sob into my palm. I never thought I would ever be this broken.
“It’s Remus.” His voice sounded so calm and soothing when he spoke. He was trying to comfort me and we both knew this. I even felt a little assured, that I knew he would help me.
“What do you want?” My voice was choked when I spoke this time and it was pretty evident that I was crying.
“I’m here to take you to Potions. I’ll wait for you but just to warn you we have fifteen minutes to get there.” I nodded from inside of the shower. “I put your schedule on your bed with your classes on it, and lied to McGonagall that you were in the bathroom when she asked where you were.”
“Crap,” I muttered, I would probably end up late to class. I reached up to turn off the shower, my hair dripping into my eyes. “Will you wait for me?” I asked him again.
“I will always wait for you.” I hugged my arms to my body sobbing as the last of the water drained from the shower floor and I stood there shivering, and stepped out of the shower to grab a towel and wrapping it around my body. I walked over to the sink to gaze at myself in the mirror.
My face stared back at me. I looked sickly, my sapphire coloured eyes didn’t shine like they once had, and instead they looked hollow and lifeless. My face was incredibly pale and the sheen of happiness I could remember having at one time had disappeared.
I used to be happy, but that was when I used to have Tyler.
Quickly I got ready for the day as I put on my robes inside the bathroom, with my eyes still wet with tears.
I recalled the last time, I had worn these robes was when I was boarding the Hogwarts Express to go home for the summer at the end of the last year. I remember sitting with Tyler, in a compartment just laughing most of the way home at nearly everything he had to say. My heart tore some more.
A few minutes later, I stepped out of the bathroom, my honey coloured hair that ran past my shoulders hung wet. It was beginning to curl from the semi humid heat of the bathroom. Remus had been standing awkwardly in the middle of the room before I came out of the bathroom, he had looked unsure of himself. But when I walked out, Remus embraced me in a brotherly hug when he saw me.
“It’s going to be okay,” he murmured soothingly as he patted my shoulder. I could tell he was unsure of his actions. “I’m going to be here.”
“Thank you,” I whispered and we both drifted off into silence.
“Are you ready to go to Potions?” he asked me a moment later. I nodded against his chest, as I hiccupped loudly trying to ease the tears. “We don’t want to be too late, it’s the first day of classes,” he muttered addressing himself rather than me. He was trying to keep that perfect record.
“Let’s get it over with,” I was about to sling my bag over my shoulder but Remus took it out of my hands to carry it for me.
“I got it,” he said softly as he slung his arm around my shoulders in a friendly manner. “We have five minutes.” I tucked my wand into my robes and then he slid onto his broom.
When we reached the bottom of the staircase, Remus made an awkward hand motion, almost as if he was using sign language to tell me he was going to put his broom away. Quickly, he ran up the stairs, and reappeared no more than thirty seconds later. I figured he had just, dumped the broom. He slung his arm back around my shoulders as we started to walk.
I noticed his hold was different on my body than Tyler’s. Tyler and I were both perfectly comfortable around each other, and we would talk about anything. But when I was with Remus he was more held back than Tyler was, it was almost uncertain of what he would say. Of course I understood this perfectly, he just wasn’t Tyler.
When Tyler and I would walk together he would normally have one of his arms around the middle of my back or loop his arm with mine. Sometimes he would even hold my hand to comfort me, but that was totally in a non romantic way.
We managed to run down to the dungeons and both of us were able to slip into Slughorn’s classroom with more than a few minutes to spare. I was completely puzzled about where to sit. Remus went to sit with James after giving after giving my hand a quick comforting squeeze.
I glanced around the room; this was the one class we had with the Hufflepuff’s. Peter was sitting next to his girlfriend. They were holding hands looking sickeningly sweet. I rolled my eyes in the opposite direction and tried not to vomit right there on the spot. I had no idea what he saw in her.
I was a little miffed, Remus had just left me to sit with his mate but it was understandable. He couldn't watch over me forever. Apprehensively, I looked around wondering where the hell I was supposed to sit.
Sirius was sitting at the only desk with an open spot at it in the whole room. I smiled at him as I walked to his desk.
“Do you mind if I sit with you?”
“Not at all O’ Rielly,” he responded grinning.
“You do know you can call me Madison,” I reminded him. He chuckled lightly, running a hand through his hair and his dark smoky grey eyes twinkled.
“Sorry about that, it’s a bad habit.”
There was a moment of silence, where both of us sat thinking. I think he was trying to avoid bringing up Tyler. Yeah the two of us weren’t much of a talkative bunch.
"So, Peter ditched me," Sirius switched the subject. I glanced up at the clock, we had about a minute left until the bell was supposed to ring and Slughorn was nowhere in sight.
“I can see that,” I giggled. “What do you think of your replacement?”
“I don’t see what he sees in her. The girl scares me to be quite frankly honest.”
“I agree with you on that.”
He smiled, as he turned to face me fully and rested his head on his hand.
“We tried to talk him out of dating her.” He started, grimacing as he spoke. “But, you see, he saw her this summer when we were out in a muggle town with James," He rolled his eyes. "So, I guess…I guess he must have seen something in her," He stopped here and frowned. “Just what exactly though, now that is a mystery.” He laughed and shrugged. I let out a quiet giggle, wondering to myself what Peter had seen in Mary as well.
I was about to reply when Slughorn swept into the room.
“Good morning class,” he boomed and everyone grew silent. He surveyed the room for a moment, before continuing to speak.
“I trust that everyone had a good summer,” he went on to say. I wanted to laugh to myself, I had anything but a good summer. In fact I have the most miserable summer of my life. I wanted to tell him that, I wanted to scream and just let out all the anger I had developing inside of me, for this unjust world.
Slughorn, stopped speaking for a moment. His gaze wandered over to me, and he bit his lip as if he realized what he had just said. Of course he knew about Tyler. I sat back in the seat, all the teachers would know. Tyler and I had been practically glued together by the hips, we would do everything together. Every teacher knew about our friendship. Slughorn's gaze lingered on me, I bet he wondered how I was doing exactly. He looked like he was pitying me. I didn't want pity. I looked away from his glance as I pretended to pick my nail. Was this how every teacher was going to recieve me? I didn't know how to react, I just shrugged to myself and gave a little sad sigh. I then, felt someone else’s eyes on me, and glanced at Sirius. He was staring at me as well. His gaze was questioning yet friendly. He gave me a small smile.
“Now this is an important year, if you don’t do well, then I can promise you that you might not have the career you are hoping for,” the professor went on to drabble on about the NEWT year and what he was expecting at us. Normally I was able to pay attention but today I just couldn’t focus on the chubby teacher with a patch of greying brown hair on his head. It was just getting too hard.
I could see that Sirius wasn’t focusing either; he was gazing far away with his elbow propped up on the table and his head in his hand.
I knew that this year wasn’t going to be easy, but at least I was hoping on surviving at least one more day without Tyler.
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