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Hold Back The Tears by rachm34
Chapter 1 : Prologue
Rating: 15+Chapter Reviews: 80

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Author's Note: So I have decided to try my hand at a new story. This is just the prologue. Please tell me what you think! Likes, and Dislikes! i'll be welcome to any critisism. But please don't tell me you hate it. :)
Disclaimer: I guess I own the characters you don't recongize and the plot.. 



Did you ever have one person in your life that seemed like your only one?  Did you have that person who you loved more than anyone else in the whole wide world?  That one person who is the so called “the one,” who could make you laugh and smile during any time or circumstance?  

That person would be able to wipe away your tears of sadness in a blink of an eye. That person could create a type of happiness where you could beam and feel such a strong sense of catharsis that everything would be okay. Life wouldn’t be screwed up after that. That person would heal you.

There would be these moments that the two of you would share, where you would do anything to live those moments again. He would take you in his arms and just hold you. His arms would give you such a strong sensation of security and love.  You would feel like you were truly loved and wanted in this world.  But it wasn’t the love of a lover was it?  It was the love of a true friend who you knew who wouldn’t ever leave you.  

Sometimes he would rest his chin against the top of your head and lean down to crack some remark that would just make you burst out in to silent giggles or peals of loud laughter. He would only want to hold you at times. At moments like these, you would wish that he would never let you go, and he truly wouldn’t let go until he had to.

That person didn’t have to be your boyfriend or your lover. He was just a best friend or someone that you allowed to be close enough to you that they knew almost every daunting secret about you, along with all the little things. He was your one and only.

 He was the bread to your butter, or the cheese to your macaroni. You two were like two peas in a pod. Nothing could tear you apart.

Fights in your relationship were almost completely unheard of. Of course the two of you would sometimes get in arguments, but you would always continue to be best friends. A playful banter or teasing was inevitable in your relationship. That was what you two thrived upon at times. If anyone else were to hurt you, he would do everything in his power to make it all right. He wanted everything to be okay. He knew the perfect ways to ruffle your feathers. He could tease you, but you would realize he never meant it. He never took things too far.

He would lay out and just watch the sunset at nights because he knew that it was your favorite time of day. He would always be there to lend you a sweatshirt when it got too cold. He would lie on the blanket with you as the sky grew darker and the colors that once illuminated the sky faded away.

He would do crazy things with you, like go swimming as soon as the snow would melt. The two of you would dive into the Black Lake in the middle of the grounds, and both of you would emerge shivering. He would be the one to whip out his wand and murmur a heating spell to warm you up.

He would go outside and play Quidditch with you as soon as the sun dawned during some mornings. He would go and study with you for a class he wasn’t even taking. He would be someone who earned the top grades in his class and got nine owls.


He was the boy who was your first kiss, most likely in a game of truth-or-dare.  He would be the type of kid who would take you to the school balls or dances if you didn’t have a date. He would dance to your favorite songs. He was the best friend you had ever dreamed of. He was omnipresence in your life, wasn’t he, and I bet that you couldn’t ever think of life without him.


Tyler Robinson was that person for me, and he lived until the end of our sixth year at Hogwarts. He had gone away with his family to Italy for the summer. He had left a month into the summer before our seventh year. He never made it to Italy; the day before he left, he had a heart attack and died. I never even got to say a proper goodbye.


He was the person who knew me inside and out; he knew me better than I knew myself.  Every day it doesn’t get much better. The pain hasn’t worn away but I don’t think that it will wear away for a long time. Every day I suffer; every day I cry.  I try to hide the tears, but sometimes they are just unavoidable. I am unsure of how I will move on. I knew that Tyler would have wanted me to carry on my life without him and be happy. But let’s face it; it’s just so damn hard doing that.


Sometimes, I forget that he is actually gone. I feel that there are moments, when I feel like he is in the same room with me. I start to talk to an empty room, and I wait for his reply. But there is no reply, as you probably expected. He’s gone, and I’m empty. Sometimes in my mind I can hear a reply that he would likely give me, but in my heart will never be as happy as it was when I was with him.

It may sound stupid, but I feel completely insane without him. He was the one who could guess how I was feeling.  I wish I had more time with him to cherish, but I don’t. Life is only so long- well, you don’t really know how long life is.

I feel so confused now, and so misplaced. My parents have tried to do all they can to make me feel happy.  They can probably see my hollow eyes; I know I have lost weight, for I haven’t been eating correctly. They have been trying to reach out to me, but nothing helps.

I want to wake up from what seems like a nightmare.  And when I wake up, Tyler will be there, and I can Floo over to his house and wrap my arms around his neck. Then I can take in a deep breath, so I can smell his cologne that I picked out for him when he went on a date with Jenny.  I pray that I will wake up from this dream.  Or maybe I’m in a coma. Hopefully I’m in St. Mungos. Hopefully someone has found me.

Please let that someone be Tyler Robinson.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So did you like it?

You see that review box down there? Her name is Josefina. Please leave a review in Joesfina. She will die if she isn't fed. And i will die inside too if i loose Josefina

A/n: So about the heart attack. I know that it must be rare or you might think it is rare for people so young at this age to die.... well i wanted to make it this. i know two people in the past year to die of a heart attack and both of them was under seventeen. Just so no one questions it. Thanks

kay thanks

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