AN/: Sorry it's taken so long. I've been busy and a bit stressed and my computer has been waging a war against me!
But after a very long wait I bring you an extra long and extra juicy chapter!
Hermione was marching along the corridors not caring where she was going as long as it was far away from Malfoy.
It hadn't been a nice gesture at all, it had been a mocking question.
'It was a Snitch quill Granger! They can only be acquired during malting season. Now fatheR will have to pay extra because it's illegal to harm them! They cost more than your entire schoolbag, probably Weasley's entire house!
'I. Don't. Care.'
'You'll be replacing it.'
Hermione laughed. 'No, I won't.'
'Stop following me!'
'Say sorry you pathetic Mudblood!'
Hermione stopped. 'Turn around.'
They'd somehow stumbled into a small empty room, there were no furnishing and the walls were bare.
'Why should I?'
'Seriously Malfoy, turn around, get out of this room.'
She looked panicked.
Her voice quivered with an edge of terror. 'Malfoy!' she began to push him frantically.
'Don't touch me, Granger.' He blocked the doorway.
Her eyes widened. 'Malfoy, I'm serious, we have to get out of here!'
There was bang and the door swung shut behind them.
'You! You fucking twit!' she shrieked and began to pound her fists against his chest.
'This is all your fault!'
'Chill Granger,' he turned around calmly and pushed on the door.
It didn't budge.
'I told you to turn around but you didn't listen did you?' her voice sounded hysterical.
'Where are we Granger?' Malfoy still sounded calm.
'This is the Hour Room Malfoy. If you'd read Hogwarts a History-'
'Right, the Hour Room?'
'Only opens ever hour!'
'Oh. Right. Bugger.'
'I can't do this,' she began to push at the door. 'I can't be stuck in here with you for an hour. I can't. I can't.'
Malfoy reached into his bag.
'Pasty? To fill the time?'
How can he be so calm?
Anger bubbled in Hermione.
She slapped him hard across the face.
He stood in shock for a few minutes, he slowly put the pasty bag in his bag.
'I can't believe you just did that.'
He moved closer and she pulled out her wand. He pulled out his wand.
They stood there in silence.
'This will get us nowhere Granger. Forty more minutes of this and we'll both be dead.'
Sighing, Malfoy put his wand in his robes.
'You sit in this corner. I'll sit in this one.'
Cautiously they both sat down.
It worked for a few minutes until-
'Why don't you eat Granger?'
'I'm serious. We have a long time for you to explain. It doesn't make sense. I thought you were smarter.'
She glared at him. 'Why are you asking questions?'
He leant in towards her. 'You smell good Granger.' He smirked.
'I don't like this situation Malfoy, any of it. Why can't we just ignore each other? Why can't you just give it up?'
'Why don't you give up the starving?'
'I don't starve!'
'Yes you do.'
'You have no proof.' she retaliated.
Malfoy pounced, dug his hand unto her pocket and pulled out the little black book.'
'Now I do.'
She reached out to snatch it back but he slipped it into his shirt pocket.
'Now can you tell me?'
'I fucking hate you.'
'Come on Granger, it's not like I have your best interests at heart or anything. I'm not going to tell you to stop. In fact, I'm not even going to tell anyone. What reason do I have for that? I won't even blackmail you. So answer my question or I won't give this back.'
'Ugh. That is blackmail. And even if I told you why I starve -which I don't- You'd rip me off. As if I'd tell you anything.'
'Fine. We'll swap.'
'What if I told you I sometimes get sick of being a twat?'
'I'd say you're lying.'
'I do. It's fun as fuck. It's what people expect, it's what I expect. I honestly don't know if I could stop it. Do you really think you are fat?'
'Believe? You have eyes you twat. I can't exactly deny what's there.'
Malfoy gaped at her in the half light.
'You're serious aren't you?'
'You said you wouldn't rip me off!' She folded her arms angrily.
'And I'm holding to it.' Mafoy stared at her. 'How the fuck are you fat?'
'You've seen my thighs. And my arms.'
'You're mad. And that's why you don't eat?'
Hermione fidgeted uncomfortably. 'Shut up.'
'What about exercising?
Malfoy quirked an eyebrow. 'I can tell. Why not exercise AND eat?'
'Exercise alone wouldn't get rid of,' she pinched her belly in disgust. 'This. I'm just a bit more careful with what I eat than most is all.'
'Careful? Right. That's why you've been so spaced out lately isn't it?'
'Why do you care?'
'I don't. I'm just curious. You really are an interesting case.'
Hermione bunched her fists. 'I'm not a case you fucker.'
Malfoy's face lit up. 'That's why you fainted that time after the Prefects meeting! I bet that muffin was all you'd eaten all day.'
'Shut the fuck up! Why did you act like that?'
Hermione began to feel angry. 'Was that kiss a dare too?'
There was a moments silence. She'd said the unspoken. Having it worded seemed to make it all the more real.
Malfoy looked at her thoughtfully.
Hermione's heart skipped a beat.
'Right. Give me back my book.'
He smirked. Hermione felt the muscle in her jaw twitch.
'You're cute. In a sick twisted kind of way. The only positive part of your starving is that your brain doesn't work properly. I'm topping class now that you're a head case. You do things you normally wouldn't. However I think I prefer you when you are eating, you're more fun, better wit, feistier and you actually have boobs.'
'Ugh.' Hermione grabbed at her book angrily.
'I hate you! I hate you! Give it back you insufferable inbred anal groping arse!'
Malfoy leant back as she tried to grab the book out of his hands. He shifted his knees and she landed sprawled on top of him.
'What about that pasty instead?'
Hermione managed to snag his wrist, twisting it around she grabbed hold of the book, he lifted his other hand to get it back. She grabbed that wrist as well, wrenching his hands behind his back.
'You're strong for someone with no meat on their bones.'
Hermione lips tumbled onto his.
Malfoy seemed shocked.
Hermione gripped Malfoy's collar and pulled him closer. Malfoy pushed Hermione onto the cold floor, his lips never leaving hers. Hermione closed her hand around his neck. She didn't want to stop. they were falling deeper into a pit of oblivious bliss.
Hermione could feel the heat radiating off him. He smelt divine and his heart was beating against her chest.
Time stood still, Hermione had no idea how long the kiss lasted, seconds or minutes, it didn't matter. Kisses with Krum or Dean had never been this good.
She snaked her legs around his, pulling and pushing frantically, caught up in the taste of her enemy, she didn't care.
His hands moved to the hem of her shirt, he began to lift it over her head.
The passion seemed to fade instantly.
She tried to push his hands away. Panic rising in her thoughts.
His hands slid up her ribs. 'Oh Merlin,' he broke off, 'You're skin and bones...'
She tried to push the shirt down, he held her, tracing her ribs, staring in confusion.
'What's this doing to you?', he whispered. 'It's scary. You're so...skeletal.'
Hermione glared at him. 'Stop lying you pathetic trollbrain.'
'I'm a what?' All trace of concern was gone.
'You heard me,' she snarled.
In a second their lips were locked again, their hands sliding everywhere.
Hermione couldn't explain what had come over her.
'We have to stop,' she murmured.
She bit his lip and he grabbed her hip roughly.
She rolled on top of him, straddling his waist, his muscles bunching and tensing under her touch. All of a sudden she felt like she needed him, she couldn't get close enough, couldn't kiss hard enough, she was melting against him.
She hated him and his touch was like fire, matching her kiss by kiss, struggling to control themselves, control each other, the hardness of the floor, the coldness of the room was all irrelevant. Last names, status, friendships.
Nothing mattered, it was all extinguished in a cloud of lust as the heat of their bodies merged. She could feel his breath mingling with hers, their breathing in bursts between every kiss.
There was a click and the door popped open.
Stung by shock, Hermione jumped up pulling her shirt back over her head.
'Fuck!' She swore loudly.
Malfoy looked at her for a few seconds, lust still lingering in his eyes. In seconds he shook
his head clear, snarled at her, grabbed his bag, slung it over his shoulder and was gone.
'Oh my god.'
Hermione's heart was beating like a drum.
'Oh my god.'
Not only do I have anorexia, I think I'm insane too.
Hermione slid out of the hour room lest it lock her in again.
Oh my god. What the hell?
I haven't felt attracted to anyone in so long!*
And of all the boys to feel attracted to, it had to be Malfoy.
I just admitted that I'm attracted to Malfoy.
She headed for the Gryffindor common rooms.
what's wrong with me?
Harry and Ron were sitting on the couch talking. She plonked down next to them.
Harry looked up. 'What's up?'
I just made out with Malfoy...again...
'Malfoy was just being a twat.'
'As usual,' Ron opened a bag of gnome shaped cookies. 'Cookie?'
Hermione eyed the biscuit cautiously.
Am I eating today?
She grabbed the packet, her eyes snapping towards the nutritional information, doing a quick calculation in her head, she balked at the calories. One cookie had more calories than she'd eaten in the past two days.
Ron and Harry shared a meaningful glance.
'Come on Hermione, just the one?'
Cookies scare me.
Ron stared at her. 'Why not?'
Hermione scoured her brain , something she'd read in a muggle book once popped into her head.
'I'm not eating wheat anymore.' *
Harry looked upset. 'Or meat. Or fat. Or anything! Hermione, we know what's going on. We did some research and-'
'We want to help.' Ron offered the cookie packet to her again.
Hermione felt a cold sweat creep on her. It was as though someone had poured a bucket of liquid fear on her. Her hearing dimmed and she felt a numb panic.
No one can know. They can't know. If they know they'll try to make me eat. To make me fat.
Her words were shaky and tumbled out of her mouth unsurely. 'There is nothing going on.'
She stood up and turned to go, her hands were shaking.
Harry jumped up and blocked her path.
'Hermione please, Listen to us. We want to help. We know you have;' He swallowed. 'Anorexia.'
The word sounded foreign to Harry's lips. In uttering those five syllables he seemed to confirm all the things that had been tumbling around her head. All of a sudden it all seemed too painfully real.
'I don't know what that its. Let me pass.'
'Hermione,' Ron touched her arm gently. 'We know that you know what it is - honestly, you're not fat. PLEASE let us help.'
Ginny's anger she could handle, she just got angry back but this kindness was painful.
I'm hurting my friends.
'All you have to do is just eat.'
'Argh! It's not that simple. Just please fuck off, there is nothing wrong!'
She shouldered past Harry and left the common room tears swelling in her eyes.
She scrunched up her face top stop the tears as she ran down the hall.
Ican't. I can't. Oh god. This can't be happening. They can't know. Just eat.
I want to be better. But I can't. Should I eat today? Get better for their sakes? I can't. I can't get fat. I can't. I can't lose control.
For the second time this year Hermione found herself with an armful of food from the kitchens.
Tears streamed frantically down her face as she sat on the grass in the empty grounds eating a salad sandwich, her brain tumbling with panicked thoughts, regretting and hating herself with every bite.
With the last bite of the food from the kitchens, she gave a great sob and lay on the grass crying.
Why am I like this? What's happened to me? Why can't I go back to being happy and smart? When I could eat and concentrate and have friends.
She could barely imagine what her life had been like without the disorder.
'Hermione?' Harry's voice was soft as he lay down gently next to her.
Hermione tried to stop crying.
I have to be strong.
She wiped her eyes and was halfway through a fake reassuring smile when Harry spoke.
Her smile turned into a sob and she fell into his arms tears raking her body.
Harry wrapped his arms around her and lay his chin on her fluffy brown hair. He didn't try to talk, just rocked her gently. After a while Hermione felt to weak to cry anymore.
'We are worried Hermione. We love you. You're scaring us.'
Hermione looked up into his dazzling green eyes.
I can't hurt my friends.
I can't give up starving.
'I'll get better Harry, I promise. I'll eat. For you and Ron.'
The smile that flooded into Harry's face was full of relief.
'And for yourself Hermione. I hate seeing you like this. I know it's hard but you have us to talk to.'
I hate this disorder.
I can't keep hurting my friends.
Harry squeezed her tightly.
'So you'll start eating again?'
She nodded, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand.
If my friends think I'm eating it won't hurt them anymore.
I hate anorexia.
I hate that I'm lying to Harry.
Neville looked up startled. 'Hello Luna.'
He pointed to the Daily Prophet in his hands.
'Hear about the lunatic who escaped an asylum in a muggle town close by?'
'Oh,' she looked half interested. 'Really?'
'Yeah, people have been advised to keep their dogs inside.'
Luna turned to him with big eyes. 'Oh, that lunatic. It's probably the Minister for Magic's brother.'
Neville looked surprised. 'Really?'
'They have the same nose.'
Neville stared at the lunatic, comparing it with the picture for 'Minister for Magic signs Goblin Coinage Agreement'
'I, er, can't quite see the resemblance...'
'Do you like rainbows?'
'Pardon?' Luna sat down on the flagstone next to him, the courtyard fountain bubbling away next to them.
'Oh, they are nice I guess. I always forget which order the colours go in.'
'You eyes remind me of rainbows.'
Neville's eyes widened. 'But they are only one colour.'
Luna leant in towards him seriously. 'Not if you look closely, you have little bits of other colours.'
'I never realized.' Luna's face was very close to his. She was examining his eyes intently. A little wisp of blonde fell in front of her eyes.
Neville cleared his throat. 'Yours are, er, just blue.'
'Do you have protection against Bowtruckles Neville? They especially like clawing out the eyes of rainbow eyed people.'
Neville shifted uncomfortably. 'You eyes are pretty too. Do you have protection?'
Luna brightened up. 'Of course! Hang on.' She began rummaging through her bag. She was looking down and Neville studied her intently.
'Got it!' she said happily. She pulled out a necklace of funny shaped pasta and as she looked up, Neville pressed his lips against hers.
Her eyes opened even further in surprise and Neville looked into them as they stared at each other, their lips still connected.
Neville noticed tiny specks of gold among the blue before he closed his eyes.
When they pulled apart Luna blinked a few times as if to check she wasn't dreaming and then lifted the necklace over Neville's head. She twined her fingers with his.
'That was lovely.'
Read it? Review!
*Most boys don't like unhealthily skinny girls and most girls don't like unhealthily skinny boys (unless they really like the persons personality) but it evens out because another effect of starving yourself (along with loss of period for girls) is lack of sex drive. The more you starve the less you want to do anything with anyone.
*I've been getting alot of flames from the comment that used to be here so I've just gotten rid of it completely (it just makes me too depressed when people get spoon fed the lies that the media and advertising dish out.)
All I'll say now is this, on the advice of a very well known chiropractor and a leading nutritionist I stopped eating wheat (mainly gluten) and sugar and I lost alot of (healthy) weight and had more energy by replacing it with fruit and veg. :) In the story Hermione is using it as an excuse but if anyone wants to try it at least its better than starving.