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In Search of the Truth by never_too_old
Chapter 7 : Pen Pals
 
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It was Saturday night and she was sitting in her bedroom, bored. She flipped through the channels on her television, not able to find anything to watch. She honestly didn’t even want to watch television. She had called Ginny earlier, but she was bringing James over to her mother’s house. Ginny had asked her to come, but she really wasn’t in the mood.

She stretched on her bed, as she checked her watch. She couldn’t believe it was only eight o’clock. Even going to bed was not an option. She suddenly heard tapping on her window and quickly moved toward it, seeing an owl outside. She let the owl in, grabbing the parchment from its leg. 

Hermione, 

I sincerely apologize for last night. It was very disrespectful, and I am ashamed for having done it. I should have had more self-control. I don’t even know why I did it. Interesting enough, my wife did scream at me the minute I Apparated home for being late, so I sort of got punished for it. I really hope that by me doing that you won’t feel awkward with me now. 

So here’s what I’m thinking. Since I’m leaving tomorrow night, and we pretty much agreed that it’s not a good idea for us to see each other again, what if we just wrote to each other? I still really like talking to you, and I just don’t want to stop doing that. What do you think? 

-Draco 


She looked around her room, pondering the idea. She tried thinking of all the possible scenarios, but realized there was no real harm in doing it. Letters were just letters, right? She reached for a quill on her desk and began writing her response. 




Draco was sitting alone in his bedroom, when he saw his owl fly back with a letter tied to its leg. He was a bit nervous to see her response, yet also excited to see she wrote back. He quickly took the letter off his owl’s leg and opened it up. 

Draco, 

I definitely think pen pals are the way to be. Then even when you’re gone, we can still communicate. By the way, apology accepted. And I’m sorry for having possibly even given you the idea to do it. I think we’re both to blame for it, but it’s in the past now, so let’s just move on. 

I’m sitting on my bed right now, bored out of my mind. It’s Saturday night and I’m doing nothing. What is wrong with me? Okay, don’t answer that. I’m sure your mind is flooded with many answers to that question right now. 

I started thinking about my friends, wondering whom I could call to hang out with, yet nobody is coming to mind. Unfortunately, as we get older, new priorities take over in our lives. Most of my friends are married with children now, so their nights are pretty much always full. I do think about my own life, wondering when I’m going to have children of my own. Ron and I have discussed it before, but we haven’t truly decided yet.
 

You know, I just realized we never actually talked about that last night. I mean we sort of brushed up on it. I know you don’t have any, but I’m curious to know if you ever want them. 

Talk to you soon,
Hermione
 

He sighed, as he stared down at her letter. He was so happy to know she wanted to continue writing to him and was able to accept his apology. He was very fearful that she would never want to speak to him again, after what he did. He took out another piece of parchment and began writing. 

Hermione, 

I think my owl is going to hate me by the end of the night. Sometimes I wish there is an easier way to send letters, you know? Okay, I won’t say a word about that question you asked. It still surprises me how you know me at times. 

Wow, I do know what you mean about friends with children. Remember Gregory Goyle? He has a two-year-old son now. And Blaise Zabini just found out his wife is pregnant. He’s already going into father mode, which is pretty funny to watch. I know you would be a great mother. You’re loving, compassionate, and even patient. You’re everything a mother should be. I’m sure it will work out for you. 

Do I ever want children? Wow, you have no idea. I've always wanted them. Maybe that’s because I was an only child or something. However, I’m not sure it will ever happen for me.
 

He suddenly stopped writing, staring down at the last sentence. He took a deep breath, as he moved his gaze toward his window. He stared into the nighttime sky, feeling his eyes tear a little, when he began to recall that night. The memory of it still pains him, which is why he has never really talked about it to anyone.

He wiped his eyes dry, before returning to his letter. He stared down at the last sentence once more and then nodded, deciding he would tell her. For some strange reason, he wanted her to know his life, which confused his feelings even more. 

You see my wife was actually pregnant at one point. It was around the time I was training to become a Hit Wizard. The night before I had to take my last set of exams, Astoria started having some complications. Right away, I knew something wasn’t right, so I rushed her to the nearest hospital to check it out. 

Sadly, my wife lost our baby girl that night. The Healers told us there was nothing we could do to avoid what happened, and that sometimes “these things just happen,” but of course, being the stubborn person that I am, I couldn’t just leave it at that. I forgot about my tests the next day, focusing all of my attention on every medical book I could find. I even read books written by Muggle “doctors,” if you could believe that.
 

Finally, after everything I had read, I regretfully had to come to the same conclusion they did. There really was no way we could’ve prevented it. But thankfully, it had also told us that she would still be able to become pregnant again. So we decided to start trying for another one, but unfortunately, months passed, even years, and my wife still hasn’t been able to conceive again. I do believe that one day it will happen for us, though. I mean I have to believe that, right? 

Well, if you haven’t guessed it by now, that’s how I decided to become a Healer. After reading all those medical books, enjoying the vast amount of information inside, I suddenly realized where my passion lay. I knew I didn’t just want to help my wife; I wanted to help everyone that I could. 


You know, you’re one of the few people I have ever told that story to. It still hurts a bit, when I think about it, but it really does feel better getting it off my chest. We must continue on, right? 

-Draco
 




Hermione placed the letter down, wiping the tears that started to fall. She felt so much sympathy for him, not even able to comprehend what he was going through at that time. To lose a child is heartbreaking, even if still in the womb. That baby was a part of him, and the fact that he wasn’t able to save his daughter must have hurt him so much.

She stared down at her wedding ring, twisting it a few times on her finger. She couldn’t even imagine how she would be able to cope with losing a child. What if that happened to her, and Ron was away on one of his Auror duties? Would he all of a sudden leave his post and be by her side? She shook her head at the thought, knowing it was unfair to compare. Hopefully, she would never have to find out what Ron would do in that case.

After a few more minutes, Hermione picked up her quill to write her response. Although she knew she had to respond to that story, she also knew not to write too much on it. She didn’t want him to feel her pity, or even have him keep remembering that night. 

Draco, 

I gave your owl some extra treats tonight, which she most definitely enjoyed. It’s funny you said that about an easier way to send letters. There’s this thing called the Internet, which is a very quick way for Muggles to send letters. However, you need a computer to work it, and even though you’re starting to grow accustomed to some Muggle things, I would put all of my money on the thought that you don’t even know what I just said. 

I’m truly sorry about your daughter. I can’t even imagine what you two must have gone through that night; although, I’m glad to hear that you are not letting it defeat you. I’ve always known you to be this strong-willed person, and I know it will not keep you down. And you’re right. We must continue on. Thank you for the comment about me being a great mother. And honestly, I would have to say the same thing about you. You will definitely make a great father. And it will happen for you. I guarantee it. 


Well, I’m getting a bit tired now, so I’m going to bed. We will talk again soon. 

Good night,
Hermione 




The next morning, Hermione woke up to another letter on her bed. She looked around, wondering if his owl was still nearby, but didn’t find her. She opened the letter and smiled widely. She couldn’t believe how a simple letter like this could make her feel all warm and cozy inside. 

Sweet dreams, Hermione.
 

She placed the letter on her chest and sighed, as she leaned back on her bed, closing her eyes. Oh, yes, she was definitely in trouble, when she suddenly became aware of how she was starting to have more intimate feelings for him now. Thankfully, he was leaving today, so she at least wouldn’t have to be nervous about bumping into him again. She had no idea what she would do, if she were to come face-to-face with him again.

She decided to go over to Ginny’s house for the day, helping her with James. She never told her about Draco, feeling a bit guilty of what she has been doing. She had first thought it was just innocent stuff, but when she realized she wasn’t going to tell Ron about it, she knew it had developed into something more. And these new feelings she was having for him were not helping the situation either.

Later that night, she flooed home, wondering if he had written to her again. She had kept her window open all day, just in case his owl were to drop by. She looked around her room, noticing nothing out of the ordinary. She suddenly became upset, when she realized she hadn’t spoken to him all day, knowing today was the day he was leaving. She knew it was silly to get upset about it, but apparently she couldn’t get those feelings out of her head.

She suddenly heard a soft knock at her door, snapping her out of her thoughts. She looked down at her watch, seeing that it was ten o’clock. She fearfully looked over at the door, wondering who it could be. Nobody she knew would come to her home this late. She slowly walked to her door, suddenly wishing she had a peephole to look through, and kept the chain on her door, as she nervously opened it.

“Second lesson you learn when becoming a Hit Wizard,” the man in the doorway smirked, “never open your door, without asking who it is first.”

She brightly smiled, as she closed her door, took the chain off, and opened it up again. Without a second thought, she ran forward, wrapping her arms around him and pushing herself closer to his body. He hesitated at first, but then slowly wrapped his own arms around her to complete the hug.

“What are you doing here?” she quietly asked, while still holding onto him.

“I just needed to see you one last time, before I left,” he softly replied in her ear.

She leaned her head back, as she stared into his mesmerizing blue eyes. A surge of emotions coursed through her body, when he swept a few strands of hair away from her face and smiled. “Damn it, Draco,” she sighed.

He nodded, as if reading her thoughts, and quickly darted forward, capturing her lips with his. They continued to kiss, as she pulled him inside her apartment. He moved his hands down her sides, wanting to feel every inch of her, while she nibbled on his lower lip, causing him to moan in pleasure. “Hermione, I want you so bad,” he breathed out.

“Me too, Draco,” she confessed.

He started kissing down her neck, his hands nervously traveling toward the buttons of her blouse. They suddenly were moving down the hall, never losing a beat, as he slowly began unbuttoning her shirt, starting from the bottom up. When they finally entered the bedroom, Draco slid the shirt down her shoulders, pausing in their kisses to admire her body. He returned his gaze to her beautiful brown eyes and smiled, before slowly lowering her onto the bed.

After a few more seconds of admiring her on the bed, he heard her softly whimper, knowing he needed to close their distance. He hurriedly climbed on top of her, capturing her lips with his, as he trailed his fingers over her skin, feeling her body shiver in response. He stopped kissing her and worriedly stared down at her, wondering if she was having second thoughts. “Hermione, we can stop, if you want,” he quietly explained.

She lifted her hand up to his face, and caressed his cheek, whispering, “I don’t want to.”


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