I tapped my foot impatiently waiting for the ‘doctor’. Patience has never been one of my virtues. I felt crazy sitting here on a Saturday morning waiting to see an overpaid counselor. When I was finally called in, I was less than happy. I sat myself down on an awkward looking sofa and tried to imagine myself elsewhere. The door swung open to reveal a familiar looking man looking like he should be retired.
“Hello Miss Potter, sorry to keep you waiting!”, he said happily sitting on a chair parallel to the sofa.
I gave him a fake reassuring smile and he said, “I’m Dr. Fischer, but feel free to call me David. May I call you Sarah?”
I gave him a look that clearly said,’what the hell?’ but nodded my head anyway.
“May I ask you a question Sarah?”, he asked seriously.
I nodded my head as he continued, “You wouldn’t happen to be related to a Harry Potter?”.
I sighed, bloody hell.
Even in the muggle world I would NEVER be able to get away from it all.
I cleared my throat, “That’s my father’s name,” I said briskly.
The doctor beamed at me saying, “Oh yes I knew Ginny and Harry had children, but I never knew they had more than three!”
I snorted, go figure.... of course they would never talk about me.
“Wait! How do you know my father?”, I asked suspiciously.
“Ah, I used to work at the ministry once upon a time, but I still get the prophet delivered!”, he said cheerily.
I choked, he was a...a.. wizard!
Dr. Fischer chuckled as if reading my mind said, “Yes I’m a wizard! I actually was the head of the Auror Department before the war, but me being a muggle born.... it was too dangerous. I basically went into hiding and never came out!”.
Oh my god, this man is CRAZY!
He continued saying, “So Sarah tell me about yourself and why you are here.”
I sighed, goody!
“I’m 26 years old and a divorce attorney at the Law Office of Bailey, Gibbs, and Strass. I graduated from Cambridge a little over two years ago and I’m here because my boss thinks I need therapy,” I finished with a sweet smile.
The doctor’s eyes twinkled in an almost familiar mysterious way before saying, “What about friends and family?”.
“I have a couple of close friends from college, but my best friend is actually my secretary. Laney and I have been best friends since her family moved next door to me in the fourth grade. She’s actually a photographer, but she needed a more steady paying job, so I hired her. We share a flat in London, so it works out pretty well.”
“Past relationships?”, he asked.
I rolled my eyes, “My last and only romantic relationship was with my ex from college, Daniel. Let’s just say the end result is not pretty.... that’s actually why I’m here.”
The doctor nodded, “So I take it you work together?”.
I nodded, “Yep, unfortunately. He really drives me up the wall and yesterday I completely lost it and punched him in the face.”
The doctor looked like he way ready to burst out laughing, but asked,”Did he instigate anything?”.
“Not really, but he just rubs me the wrong way. I just can’t take his snarky little remarks about me,” I said a little guilty.
“Sarah the only reason he is acting like this is because he wants your attention. You broke up the relationship, am I correct-”
“- well then it’s obvious how he feels about you.”
“I know, he asks me out constantly. But we can never be a couple again, it was horrible when we were going out!”.
“Everyone deserves a second chance Sarah,” Dr. Fischer said in a wise tone.
I nodded, not really agreeing with him.
“So, you’ve talked about Laney and Daniel. What about your family?”, he asked.
I cringed, no I can’t.
I shrugged and said, “What about them?”
“Are you close to them?”.
I shook my head saying, “Isn’t this a little too personal?”.
Dr. Fischer laughed, “Well Sarah, we are in therapy. Tell me about your relationship with your family.”
I sighed once again, by God isn’t this a sigh-a-thon!
“I don’t really have a relationship with my family. I never have been close with any of them, well.... maybe Al. It’s just too complicated, you see I’m not.... like them”, I stuttered out.
The doctor looked at me confused and then a sudden realization dawned on him, “You mean, your a Squib?”.
I glared at the horrid word, but nodded my head.
“Wow, that must have been hard to grow up like that. I mean with your family’s reputation and all,” he said looking me in the eyes.
I avoided his gaze and remained frozen to the spot.
“It was at first, but I got used to it. We found out when I was young, so it wasn’t a shocker when I didn’t receive my Hogwarts’ letter. My family was supportive, but they were always distant,” I said quietly.
“What about Laney, how did she come into the picture?”
I smiled and said, “She moved next door to me when I was 10. She’s a muggle, but her family moved into our magical community when her older brother Matthew received his letter. We became best friends, we were kind of in the same situation. We were both a little lost and overshadowed by our families.”
He nodded in understanding and asked,”When was the last time you have seen or spoken to your family?”.
I squirmed in my seat clearly uncomfortable, “I got into a fight with my parents right after I graduated high school. They wanted me to work in the magical world, but I refused. I don’t belong there. Well anyway, I kind of ran off and Laney came along. It’s been almost ten years.”
Dr. Fischer’s eyes widened, “Ten years, you haven’t been in contact for ten years!”
I glared at him, “Well it’s not like they tried to owl me either!”, I shouted.
He seemed to calm down saying, “Sorry about that, that was entirely inappropriate of me to say, but ten years is a long time Sarah. Don’t you think they want to see you?”
I rolled my eyes, “They probably haven’t even noticed I’m gone!”
“I highly doubt that, what about Laney and her family?”, he asked.
“Well, they have never really gotten along either. They were always to wrapped up in Matthew. I felt bad and I wanted her to stay and work things out with her family, but she refused,” I said with a frown remembering that day.
“Have you ever thought about going back?”, he asked.
“One time I almost did. It was right before I went to law school. I actually drove all the way out there to see them and when I got to the door, I just couldn’t make myself knock. I stared at the house for a while and then when I saw one of my brothers come outside. I basically drove off as fast as I could,” I said remembering the way Albus’ eyes widened when he saw me.
“And that was what, six years ago?”, he asked concerned.
I nodded distracted and then said, “It was around this time of year, we always used to have a birthday party for my dad at the end of July. I told Laney I was going to spend the weekend with Daniel and I just started to drive. I ended up in front of my house and saw that they were having a party for my dad.....”
I couldn’t finish my sentence remembering what occurred that day.
I carefully shut the car door trying to breath in and out. I can do this, I can! I walked across the street and saw the one place I have been avoiding for six years. The house was looked the same, maybe a little more weathered since I left, but it had the same essence to it.
The tire swing looked out of use and the porch look like it needed to be repainted, but it was home. I felt myself shaking and automatically reprimanded myself. They were my family and would be happy to see me...... right?
I carefully walked up the path and immediately stopped right in front of the parlor window. I had memories of spying through this window with James during his summer breaks, it was the perfect place to hide without being seen. I crouched down a little and listened to the joyous conversation.
“Wow Harry I can’t believe how old your getting!”, mum teased dad with a smirk on her face.
“Oh hush you,” dad chided jokingly ,”you’re only one year younger than me.”
The room laughed and then James said, “Well, think of it this way, you have 25 year old son..... your not THAT old!”.
Everyone burst into laughter again as dad lightly hit James on the back of the head.
“Well, it’s been a good 25 years,” mum said kissing dad .
“Eww, I wish you guys wouldn’t do that in front of us!”, my sister Lily said.
“Well Lils, how do you think you were born?”, Albus said with his arm around a very pregnant brunette, who I assumed was his wife.
Daisy, my cousin, closed her eyes saying, “Bad mental images!” which caused the room to laugh even more.
Scorpius Malfoy suddenly walked into the room and handed a glass of punch to Rose who kissed him on the cheek. HOLY MERLIN! They’re engaged! How the hell did Uncle Ron allow that to happen!
I looked around and noticed that the Bakers along with half the magical community were there celebrating with our favorite hero. Then suddenly Grandma Molly came out with the birthday cake and everyone started to sing.
“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you-”, they all sang off tune, but it sounded like beautiful music to my ears. After dad blew out the candles
James asked, “Bloody hell Grandma! How did you get all of those candles on the cake!?”.
I chuckled quietly missing James’ lame jokes.
My beautiful cousin Violet rolled her eyes, “Wow James you are really asking for it tonight aren’t you?”. James shrugged happily eating a piece of cake.
Then suddenly there was a demand for a speech and my dad cleared his throat awkwardly.
“Well.... I really don’t know what to say. It seems like yesterday I’ve received my Hogwarts’ letter and met Ron and Hermione. Wow, time really does fly..... thank you all so much for always being here for me when I needed you. Life has always been a little troublesome for me-”
“-but really having good friends and family always there has been a true blessing. Although not everyone I love could be here tonight..... thank you from the bottom of my heart,” he said sincerely eyes shining happily, but had a little touch of sadness.
The room burst with applause and Aunt Fleur was wiping tears from her eyes.
Suddenly an unwanted emotion poured through me.....guilt, love, hope, sadness, no.... regret. I had to leave. I slowly backed away from the window not noticing that a small package fell out of my hand. I speed walked down the path and into the street.
If I would have been paying attention I would have heard the brunette pregnant woman ask Albus to get something for her outside, but I wasn’t even seeing straight let alone thinking. I heard the front door creak open and a large intake of breath. I whirled around and saw my brother rooted to the spot, green eyes wide in surprise.
“Sarah? Is that you?”, he asked moving forward.
I froze just for a moment looking into his eyes, before running to my car and driving away as fast as I could.
“Sarah, Sarah! Are you all right?,”a male voice said.
I shook my head out of my daydream to find I was right back in Dr. Fischer’s office.
I nodded my head still a bit hazy.
“You’ve been sitting there staring at nothing for five minutes, are you sure?”, he asked concerned.
I nodded my head and simply said, “Just remembering things, you know.”
He nodded in understanding saying, “The mind is a dangerous thing, always wanting to relive the past and dream about the impossible.” I inwardly rolled my eyes, dear god this guy was dramatic.
Dr. Fischer cleared his throat and held up a piece of paper, “I here have a note from your employer Mr. Bailey. He has given me the authority to help you help yourself. The first step to recovery Sarah, is admitting you need help-”
Dear lord I have anger issues! Not drinking issues!
“-and I want to help you, but I can’t.”
There is a god! Finally something we can agree upon!
But the old fart continued, “I want you not to overact when I tell you this, will you promise not to?” I nodded my head, whatever.
“I want you to take the next two weeks off of work and visit your family,” he said.
I breathed in and out and said, “Excuse me, I think I misheard you, what did you just say?”.
Dr. Fischer looked scared for a moment and then said, “I want you to go see your family.”
Stay calm, stay calm.
“WHAT!” I shouted at the top of my lungs.
“If you ever want to recover from your emotional issues, you have to face them head on. You’ve been hiding from your problems your entire life Sarah, no is the time to face them,” he said with a smile.
To say I was absolutely floored was an understatement.
“No buts Sarah, I know you can do it,” he said with a smile.
I looked at him doubtfully, has he even been paying attention to the last half of an hour of conversation!
“No I can’t!”, I said. “
Yes you can, and you are going to not only for yourself, but for your job and for Laney. How do you think she feels being estranged from her family?”
“But that’s not my fault!”
“I know it’s not,” Dr. Fischer said wisely, “but think about it. She would never go back without you. You are her indirect reason for her unresolved issues with her family.”
We sat there in complete silence for a moment.
“I’m sorry the time for this session has expired, think about what I’ve said,” Dr. Fischer encouraged leading me out the door into the waiting room.