Author's Note: OMG! Yay! :] Okay, so this is another one of my new stories that I've just pulled from under my belt lately... I know I already have two stories going on, but I'm going to try and not let them interfere with my general timing with my updating schedule; if that makes any sense... ?
I always make my first chapters short when I begin a new story, it's my style =P So, trust me when I say this, future chapters are going to be way longer! Hope you enjoy this chapter! And, Review!
“I can’t believe it- I just CAN’T!” I cry, reaching for another tissue. For the past thirty minutes I’ve been screaming like a crazy person because of my boyfriend’s infidelity, not even being able to speak a word about it to my best friend. How was I? I was basically shooting snot bombs at her.
“I know, love, I know,” Klara says soothingly, rubbing my back. I sneeze into my tissue forcefully, wiping my nose roughly before speaking again. “I mean, I wasn’t in love with him, but I had feelings you know!? Ugh.”
My life has turned for the worst, or maybe, it had been going in that direction all along? I was so stupid to think I could have a stable relationship. My boyfriend, Amos Diggory, was cheating on me again with some Ravenclaw! My heart could only be torn in so many directions and pieces. I thought he wouldn’t do it again, but he did... And she was a Fifth Year! Fifth Year. Now that’s just insulting. We’re graduating this year and he has the nerve to cheat on me with someone who’s barely qualified for O.W.L.S.
And you know what hurts? I believed him the first couple of times he’d ‘momentarily slipped’. Amos was going on and on about how he had been single for so long that it had to take some getting used to… HAH! I was taking the piss, and not even knowing it. I was too damn naïve. And now I feel disgusted with myself, and at him. How could I have not seen him for the git that he was? I’m actually a smart girl, but I guess the subject of boys is just a whole new textbook for me to study.
“Shhh, it’s alright.”
“No, Klara, it’s not!” I burst out, my mountain of tissues falling off my bed in massive amounts. “I can’t believe that he cheated on me! To think, I forgave him for the first two times it happened and how I believed all that stuff he fed to me, saying he was sorry…”
“Woah- First two times? You mean to tell me Amos cheated on you twice already?!” Klara’s face turns cold as stone as she angrily huffs. My best friend rises from the bed, clearly having the words ‘manhood cleaver’ written all over her face. I reach out and try to calm her down. The last thing I need is my mate going to- er, perform surgery, on the boy that’s made me explode with river sized tears.
“No! Please, no. Don’t do anything. I just… I can’t deal with this alone right now! It wasn’t his entire fault, in a way; it was mine for believing it,” I tell her quickly, grabbing her arm and pulling her back on my bed in the process. “Please don’t make this into a bigger issue. You know I’m not a fan of drama.” I slowly try to calm myself. It was late at night, and I didn’t want to wake any of the other girls in our dormitory with my cries.
Klara Isaacs just looks at me and sighs, taking in the darkness around us in the dormitory; almost all the lights were out. “Why didn’t you tell me Amos was unfaithful to you before?” I look her in the eyes, and feel a bit guilty. “It was between him and I. It was something I thought would blow over, Klara. I didn’t expect it to turn out like this,” I mumble.
“He’s a slime ball, Natalie. I can’t believe you let him do this to you,” Klara says to me strongly.
And I knew. I knew he was a slime ball. I knew that he was the Hufflepuff player of the century, but I chose to ignore it. I let myself fall for him, like him, kiss him, hug him, in the hopes that I could be the girl that could change Amos Diggory’s life… I was such a fool. Thinking back on all that crap I took from him makes me embarrassed. He stomped all over me, without bothering to take off his cleats.
I found Amos and that stupid Fifth Year kissing each other after the last Quidditch game of the season, which occurred tonight. Apparently she was just congratulating him on a great play. Yeah, too bad Gryffindor beat his stupid arse. You know what he said when I found him snogging her? He told me that he was feeling so low after losing that he just took the offer of someone else’s good intentions to help him feel better. After he had already cheated on me those other times, I came to find him easier to read as the weeks went on. Amos hadn’t cheated on me in almost a month. I didn’t expect him to think I was going to take the same bull he fed me before. But when I heard that, I knew he thought I was nothing more than an idiot broad of a girlfriend. That hurt my feelings more than him actually cheating on me- he thought he could keep getting away with it, thinking I would never connect the dots and keep a close eye on him. Like I wasn’t worth his honesty…
“I had faith in that slime ball, even when people warned me about him. And you know me; I don’t listen to other people’s judgments and their gossip. I thought to myself, let me get to know him, and then decide for myself what he is. But I starting liking him a lot in the process and-”
“That’s when he knew he could play you, because he knew you’d believe everything that came out of his mouth,” she interrupted.
I sniff, and reach for another tissue. Now that I’ve stopped crying a bit, it’s getting easier to talk. “Yeah, kind of.”
Klara snorts. “Kind of? I have been here with you for the past half hour while you bawled your eyes out about a relationship that you never wanted to discuss with me in the first place. All you've been doing is wailing and crying, and I've been over here comforting you, not having a blasted idea about why you're crying. Then you blurt told me that he cheated on you, and my heart stopped. I seriously am so sorry.... I feel so bad for you, Nat. Because I knew you liked him a lot. I can’t believe you haven’t told me he’s cheated on you more than once!”
I take a deep breath. “I know, and I’m sorry.”
“You do realize you could have saved the trouble of ending up in this situation if you at least told me about the other girls, so we could’ve talked about your options, like breaking up with him?” I blow into the tissue again.
“Oh, goodness. I couldn’t have broken up with him then.”
“Are. You. Mad. How could you not? If you talked to me about it, you know that you’d have dropped him like that,” Klara exclaims, snapping her fingers. It was true. Klara had a way with words, and she got straight to the truthful point when it mattered. But I doubt that while he first started to be unfaithful to me, I would have listened to her. I was too mesmerized by Amos.
“Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have cared what you said to me. No offense or anything, but I was so hung up on him that I would’ve given him fifteen more chances if he needed them. I wouldn’t have listened to you, even though you would’ve been right.”
After a moment Klara turns to look straight at me.
“You know what the problem is with you, Natalie?”
“What?” I ask, coughing inside another tissue.
“You forgive too easily. You’re so naïve in thinking people can change for the better. You let Amos know what it was like to be forgiven, and from then on you were just being taken advantage of every time. And you didn’t know it,” Klara concludes, lying down across the bed. She’s like a therapist, she is. I dunno what I would do without Klara Isaacs in my life. I’ve only got a limited amount of close friends in Hufflepuff (unless you count the younger students who would glare daggers my way when ever I passed the hallways with Amos hand in hand). Klara’s the only one that really keeps my head on my shoulders.
“I’m sorry I dragged you into this. And I can’t believe that you stuck with me for the past half hour,” I almost chuckle. I can see Klara smile at me sincerely through the gloominess of our dorm.
“It’s okay. I mean the first part of your breakdown was bad; the bawling Niagara Falls-esque tears and the cries of ‘Damn you, Amos, damn you!’ was hard to deal with. I had no idea what you were babbling on about, really! But then you mumbled words under your breath like you were crazy; and I heard you say it just once: cheat." She sighs, "He is the biggest prick to ever enter Hogwarts."
“Yeah. You know what’s even worse?”
“I didn’t break up with him yet.”
“Keep your voice down, your going to wake everyone up!”
“Now I am just ashamed of you right now-”
“I ran from him! The Quidditch match ended tonight, Klara. When I found him cheating on me, I just started crying. And when he fed me that bull about it not meaning a thing, I felt like I was literally shattered,” I say hurriedly, before she can yell at how disappointed she is at me.
“So you…ran.” She says this slowly, as if it’s hard for her to comprehend.
I give her the most poignant look I can muster under my emotional condition at the moment. “It’s not like I could have just stood there, with my make-up running down my face making me look like some sort of relative to the raccoon animal out of a sci-fi film, and yell at him. I couldn’t bring words to my mouth. I was just so upset.” I rub my temple, drop the tissue in my hand, and lay down on my bed with a soft pat.
“Oh… So you just fled from him, then?”
“Basically. But now that I think about it I probably looked like such a pansy in front of the Quidditch team.” I look over at Klara and she seems to be deep in thought. I’m not sure if she listened to me just now.
She finally looks at me, snapping out of her thoughts.
“Wow, I’m so sorry you had to go through that, Natalie. But think of it this way, it’s a good riddance. Besides, you’ve calmed down a bit and really thought about. So just think of what you’re going to say to him. Tomorrow you can go up to Amos and break it off,” Klara says surely with a smile.
“I hope so,” I say, with that hope shining beams through the dark.
I bend over to tie my shoe lace in a hallway. And, as luck has it, I glance over my shoulder and see Amos coming this way. He sees me, a surprised look on his face, and walks up to where I am. He bows down so his elbows are resting on his bent knees, in front of me. We’re eye level. At the sight of his face, I’m astoundingly not mad about everything that’s happened. Just kind of… resentful. This is surprising. I was sure that I’d rip his arms off or something. But that’s not important; I have to do what I have to do now, no holding back. I can’t repeatedly be taken advantage of. Not anymore.
Amos smiles. I look down at my shoe, and put the lace through the loop.
“Hey, love,” he greets, tilting his head to the side.
“Er, hi,” I mumble, looking down. I stand up, and so does Amos.
“We need to talk.”
He sighs innocently. “I know we do. Actually, I was hoping to run into you.” Amos takes my right hand in his left as we just stand here, in the middle of the corridor, face to face. Having his hand intertwined in mine brings back memories. But at the moment, I just want to forget about those memories. Let’s face it, they weren’t real. Because we weren’t in a real relationship.
We both start talking at the same time and cut each other off.
Amos chuckles. “You first,” he says, motioning his head forward, with a loopy smile.
“No, please. Go ahead,” I tell him. I want him to say what ever he has to say before I drop the break up bomb. Oh, jiminy crickets. I’m really doing it… I’m breaking up with Amos Diggory!
“I know that you were really upset about yesterday. I really didn’t mean to have you find me snogging with some other girl.”
“Fifth Year Ravenclaw girl, you mean,” I butt in to clarify. I cross my arms as he continues.
“Yes, I realize that. And I’m really sorry; I dunno what I was thinking, love. I just…” he trails off, as a group of giggling Gryffindors pass us by, flicking their hair in my face. He leans his head back and stars at them in a dreamy like state, as he winks at a couple of the girls.
Okay, now I’m angry.
“You see what I mean?” I poke him in the forehead. Hard.
“Ay!” Amos rubs where I poked him. “No, I don’t see what you mean. You weren’t even saying anything.”
I narrow my eyes slightly. “Do I have to say it? Do I honestly need to explain what I’m talking about? And how I mean it? You were just explaining to me why you were so sorry about cheating on me,” I argue, my temperature rising. “And as soon as a couple pairs of long legs walk your way you completely forget about me!”
“Stop making a big deal out of it!” Amos practically snaps.
My mouth drops. “What?! You think I’m making a big deal over telling you how I feel?” I ask impossibly.
“You need to relax,” he rolls his eyes. Where the hell did this sudden change come from? He was acting sweet just a minute ago.
“Honestly, here I was trying to apologize and talk to you when you just poke my face and start throwing insults like I’m the worst boyfriend in the world! Now, I’m annoyed.”
Amos can’t possibly be saying this to me.
“Paha! You were never a good boyfriend! And I wasn’t even throwing insults at you; I was just trying to show you what I’ve had to deal with since day one. How many times have you cheated on me Amos? I’ve only counted three times but I bet that there were many others I didn’t know about,” I angrily clarify.
He licks his lips and strongly retorts, “I told you that I’ve been single almost all my life, and that it would take time for me to get used to just being with one person. I told you that. I god damn told you. Did you listen? No. Natalie, do you think you can just change me and how I am just by dating me?”
My eyes turn into slits as I uncross my arms furiously. “You have some nerve to say that to me, Amos.”
“So I cheated on you, big deal. Obviously I wouldn’t still be dating you if I didn’t like you more than the other girls.” He almost laughs. “I cannot believe you’re having a row with me about this.”
“That’s just it, Amos! The other girls! You said you’d try, and I believed you. Too bad you were a lying shmuck. I don’t care if you liked me more than them, our relationship should have been enough so you didn’t need anyone else. And if that’s how you felt, then we really weren’t in a relationship, were we?”
He throws his hands in the air. “HAH! I didn’t need anyone else? Er, hello! Who do you think I am?!”
My mouth is agape at this point. “You’re acting like an egotistical jerk!”
“Well, I’m the jerk you fell for. I can’t help that. Girls are my weakness, Nat. I don’t understand why you aren’t going to forgive me for this. It’s just a couple kisses here and there.”
I feel like seething, and crying at the same time. And it’s making my eyes as sore as ever. I guess I haven’t recovered my crying session last night. “I have feelings! If you liked me more than the other girls, why didn’t you kiss me instead!? You were bored with me weren’t you? You didn’t like having a girlfriend, admit it.”
He scoffs. “Having a girlfriend only means a couple things, really. You get what ever you want, when ever you want. And you have someone to make people jealous. I was wanted half as much as I did before just because girls realized I was taken.”
My eyes start to sting. “You used me,” I mumble. “You used me to get more girls.”
Amos Diggory’s eyes become wide, and he pushes his hands out, shaking them like he’s made a mistake. “No! I’m sorry, that came out wrong!”
He reaches out for me but I brush him off. “It might have come out wrong, but the idea was still the same,” I snap, with the water in my eyes blurring my vision. “We are DONE. Separated. Finished. Not together, Amos Diggory. Get some other tramp to satisfy your needs,” I tell him as strongly as I can, trying to hide the squeaking in my voice. I breathe, not believing the words that just came out of my mouth.
I back away slowly, resulting in a full blown run back to the common room. As my robes flail behind me, I hear Amos call out my name. I ignore him. He doesn’t deserve my attention. He doesn’t deserve anything from me.
I’ve been used. For his own stupid gain. With all the lies he’s told, who knows if he was even interested in me from the start? Did he hook up with other girls after he would walk me up to my dorm at night? How many times had Amos chatted up and flirted with a group of girls when I wasn’t around? A big lump forms in my throat while similar questions pop up in my head.
“Natalie!” He yells after me. I shake my head and wipe away my tears. I’m tired of being treated like dirt. I hate that I was star struck with him; if only I could have seen the signs… The signs that led up to something like this. I no longer have the feeling to be around him. What he’s done to me- what he’s done with others, rather- has made me feel like I have to repel myself away from him. So I can some how heal, or get over it. And my body doesn’t seem to mind, as I’m still running away from him. For someone to treat their girlfriend like this is pretty low. How Amos could have even pulled off half the shit he did, is beyond me. It all went over my head. And I didn’t have a clue that he’d cheat again. But I’m done now. I’m finished with all of this. While I blink away the tears, I can’t stop the feeling of emotions floating through my body at the moment.
Anger. Resentment. Sadness.
I don’t care about him anymore. I don’t like him anymore. I don’t have a crush on him anymore. Hell, I don’t even find him attractive anymore. This has shown me Amos Diggory’s true colors; and to be honest, he’s as ugly as a hippogriff back from the grave. I shake my head, trying not to think too hard of how much I want him to be stung by killer bees. If I keep thinking about this, I’m going to end up disliking him with every fiber of my being. It’s not like I want to be friends now, but I don’t want to hate him. I just wish… I wish I could just get something in return for those couple of months I’d wasted.
As soon as I step through the portrait hole, I stop walking- and start thinking.
Get something back from the relationship. Get a hold of what it could feel like to maybe, make him jealous. Get a kind of newsflash to throw at Amos Diggory’s face, knowing what kind of girlfriend he’d sent to the dumps. Get some sort of payback for being tossed around like a sack of potatoes.
Get something like Revenge.
A sickening smile reaches my lips as wipe away the last tear on my face. The last tear to ever fall down my cheeks because of him. I am going to get him back for this. I’ll show him what it’s like to feel rejected. And the best part about this thought that’s come to mind… He won’t even see this coming! I’ve always been quiet. Well, it’s time for me to be heard. And Amos Diggory will be the first to listen. He’ll learn. Finally, he will learn.
He’ll learn that Natalie Rouz is NOT to be messed with.