Day six of being Hogwart's Sex-God's latest 'toy'. ughh.
1 break up later.
I’ve actually never had trouble with vindictive bitches before. Okay, that was harsh but it’s true. The crème de la crème of the social hierarchy is basically a group of the most stylish and heaven sent beings blessed with money, looks and some serious skill. They’ve never bothered me before since I was sort of the weird ‘random’ girl who nobody really knew. Until today.
But I’m pretty certain they were plotting malicious ways to ‘get to know me’ ever since news hit that Sirius Black and I were sort of a couple. Clearly none of them had a swooning and declarative Black confess his love in front of an audience. I deduced then that they were all extremely jealous of moi, which would account for their steely practiced glares.
Ha! It feels good to be Queen.
“Hi, Janelle right?” Says one of the two of them. Their voices are all the same to me. Monotone and sharp, other wise bored out of their pretty minds.
I look up, marveling at their rather tall statuesque figures casting menacing shadows over my current assignment.
“I’ve been in practically all of your classes, Kensington, since first year.” I say rolling my eyes. My, I am feeling brave today.
Maria Kensington is the type of girl that you run away from, not because she’s scary or mean but because she’s so perfect that every girl in a mile radius of her feels inadequate and ugly. Thankfully, I’m pretty comfortable in my own skin and I’ve learned to deal with my numerous shortcomings.
Okay, I’m a liar. I’m super sensitive about it but this is Maria Kensington, she followed my sister, Jaclyn, around like a lost puppy until Jaclyn graduated. After seeing that you just sort of ignore her pretty face and feel smug.
Oh and Maria Kensington is Sirius’s ex-girlfriend. The one he dated for like six months in fifth year, which is to say like marriage when you’re fifteen.
Hence the vindictive bitch part.
Plus, she’s really actually quite smart and she’s on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team. I know. Life sucks.
“Hi, Janelle.” She says sweetly as her friends who are all equally smart and popular and of course beautiful, sit down across from me. Because in real life, popular people are not stupid, contrary to popular belief and the stuff people say to make themselves feel better in comparison to somebody that naturally has it all. Samantha Bennett, Kensington’s best friend knocks the bottle of ink with her elbow so it tips and spills over my almost complete assignment, which is sort of predictable because most of them are all really, really mean.
“Oops.” She giggles while Maria hides a smirk.
I take a deep breath. This is way past any of my usual expertise. Like I said, I’ve never ever dealt with bitches before, especially the most popular ones. I look with increasing dismay and disbelief at my sopping wet and ruined assignment. I swear loudly as I hurriedly clean up the mess with a few spells. Maria doesn’t bother hiding any of her amusement as she reprimands Bennett for being so clumsy.
“Look here, conniving bitches of the social ladder, I’m not used to dealing with jealous and contemptible people like you but in case you’ve noticed, I have something you don’t have. That being your ex-boyfriend who you fawn over with gag worthy finesse. Sirius Black is at the present time, mine.” I say and ‘accidentally’ knocking what little of ink I have left into their awaiting laps.
“Oops.” I glare and stalk off out of the library. Their shrieks of surprise have earned Madame Pince’s wrath and I chuckle evilly. What goes around comes around.
I maneuver my way through the halls, dodging past groups of people bunched up in the middle, clogging traffic. Typical first years. I’m about to tell them to move when I hear a loud shout. I turn my head around.
“Ooo” Simultaneous voices around me say.
I clutch my head, dazed as the Frisbee clatters at my feet. I touch my head gingerly and find a snapped tooth in my hair. Ugh, this is such a peachy, peachy day.
“Are you okay?” Some random voice asks. Well, at least someone cares.
“Perfectly peachy!” I groan as I clutch my throbbing head. I bend down to retrieve the Fanged Frisbee. It takes most of my control not to bend it in half. I look up as heavy footfalls approach. I growl and open my mouth to tell whoever threw it at me to go---
“Mark!” I gasp.
He looks at my forehead, concerned and dumbfounded. His brown curls sort of glowing from the sunlight emitting from the windows like a halo.
“Janelle!” He cries horrified. He steps closer to inspect the bump on my forehead. “I’m so terribly sorry for the distress I have caused you.” He reaches out tentatively to brush the hair that’s over my face to get a better look.
‘I’m so terribly sorry for the distress I have caused you’? My God, this boy was like a medieval night all gallant and handsome and charming and totally out of my league. He kept saying how profusely sorry he was, until I firmly thrust his stupid Frisbee into his hands because his careful fingers on my forehead was starting to make me feel uncomfortable.
From the corner of my eye I see Sirius walking by, giving us a curious but indifferent glance. I’m wondering what the hell is he doing just walking by me, until I see him do a double take.
“What the hell is going on?” He says accusingly as he approaches, closely followed by Potter.
Mark has the sense to quickly take a step away from me. He waves at the Fanged Frisbee in his hands.
“I sort of hit her, mate.” Burnett says apologetically as he nods toward me. I grimace as Sirius steps threateningly toward Mark.
“I see your aim is still as bad as I thought it was.” Sirius says coldly. “It’s not a wonder why we beat you in Quidditch.”
“First match of the season is tomorrow, Black.” Mark says responding, matching Sirius’s icy demeanor with one of his own. “You’ll see how my aim has improved.”
Um, I don’t mean to sound like a whiny attention-seeking idiot but I thought their confrontation was about me? Hello, I mean, I’m the one with the massive bump on my forehead and they’re what? Talking about Quidditch? I zone out as James too begins to butt in their conversation and defend Gryffindor pride.
Sirius slings an arm around me, which I try to shrug off but fail miserably.
“—and stop bothering Janelle.” Sirius says with a note of finality in his voice.
Mark Burnett glares at Sirius and with one final apologetic smile for me, he turns around and stalks off. I whirl on Sirius, thereby slipping out of his rather tight grip.
“He came over to apologize to me, you big idiot!” I say to him.
“You were fraternizing with the enemy.” He states as if in some other cosmic universe that was full of melodramatic statements by overly protective half-wits this statement was actually true.
“He’s no one’s enemy, Sirius.” I say rolling my eyes, unfortunately this act alone causes intense pain to rip through me skull. I wince.
“He is Mark Burnett, therefore my enemy.” Sirius sniffs.
I snort at his ridiculousness.
“Oh, please, you’re just jealous that his hair is almost as nice as yours.”
He looks at me, about to retort when a mischievous glimmer reaches his eyes.
“You think my hair’s nicer than Burnett’s?” He winks.
“I…I…No!” I yell moronically, which only makes Sirius smirk even more.
“Ugh! Whatever.” I say, throwing my arms up in defeat and I push past him, a James Potter suspiciously M.I.A.
He chases me down. My response? A stubborn glare clearly stating I’m PMS-sing and having a horrid day, piss the fuck off, homeslice.
See, my day is going quite horribly, not only do I get harassed by a murderess ex-girlfriend, get hit by a flying Fanged Frisbee on my prefrontal cortex, have to start over my labor intensive essay because of said carnivorous ex-girlfriend’s equally cannibalistic friend, I also get accused of ‘fraternizing with the enemy’ after brutally suffering through all of said experiences.
And then as if my day couldn’t get any worse, Sirius Black tries to explain himself. I’m wondering if he got the ‘piss the fuck off’ glare.
“Hey, I’m just watching your back.” He says as he matches my brisk and angry strides with long, loping, elegant strides of his own.
I’ve never felt more like a fat, lumbering, cow in my whole entire life, until Sirius speaks and I’ve never felt more like a lumbering loser in my whole entire life.
“—But I know you think Burnett is a nice guy but the fact is, he’s not. He’s a bloody wanker and he’s only being nice to you to get back at me.” Sirius says with conviction that is not only ignorant but extremely insulting too.
I stop in my tracks while Sirius has to double back to reach me. I stare resolutely at the ground and try my hardest to digest the stinging comment. People have said that I’m weird, crazy and insane but that’s never hurt as much as that one casual comment said by Sirius Black. I’ve learned to deal with my alleged ‘weirdness’ and I’ve actually thought it was much a part of me as anything but this..? This off hand way of saying that I’m completely unlikable to one of the best-looking boys in the school or in general?
I swallow an emerging lump in my throat as Sirius, oblivious, prattles on about why Burnett is his sworn enemy aside from stupid Snivellus.
“You know, Maria Kensington? Well, originally she was Burnett’s girlfriend but she got tired of him. Burnett’s has some delusions that I ‘stole’ her away from him.” Sirius continues, “Which, of course I didn’t. Bloody wanker.”
“And you think Burnett is trying to get revenge by stealing me away from you?” I state in a small voice that I do not recognize as my own. My God, I feel like I’m in some poorly rated soap opera, of course nobody ever mentions how much it hurts.
“You’ve got the right idea.” Sirius says darkly.
“I think that’s ludicrous.” I say with sudden, unexpected volume. “Because you’ve not nothing to lose.”
Sirius looks at me, completely baffled.
“What are you talking about?” Sirius asks puzzled. “You’re what I’ve got to lose.”
This statement alone has the power to cause many pattering and hammerings of the heart and has the ultimate power to satiate a secret romantics’ appetite for eloquent confessions of love and devotion. Any other time my heart would be hammering and I would be eagerly swooning into his arms.
Now? Not so much.
I’ve never realized my true blindness up until this point. All of this was a game. A stupid sodding game and I was just the pawn in the big scheme of it all. But of course, why would Mark Burnett, charming and handsome ever find something attractive in me when all I am, according to Sirius, is a pawn in this game.
I quit. I’m through. I’m done.
“You never had me.” I say. This is not some ploy to get him to apologize to me, to make him want me or whatever. This is the truth. We never were anything. It was pretend. A bloody game. Maybe I’m being overdramatic but it’s all in the simplicity of the thing.
There’s something in my tone that makes him stop and really look at me. His penetrating stare with his mesmerizing ‘bedroom’ eyes jumbles my thoughts but only make me realize how easily I had been fooled. I look away, disgusted at myself and angry with him.
“Are you okay, Janelle?” He asks softly, tucking a stray hair behind my ear. I flinch out of his touch, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Sirius. He frowns.
“No.” I say shaking my head. “The thing is, Sirius, we really aren’t anything and like you said I’m sort of this big gigantic loser who’s in way over her head.”
“I never said you were—“ He starts, a look of pure shock and confusion on his gorgeous face.
I continue on, recklessly. “No, but you implied it. ‘Mark Burnett is only being really; really nice to me because he wants to get even with you?’” I mimic him incredulously. “That’s a real nice way to crush someone’s already bruised and beaten to a pulp ego. This whole ‘thing’ we’re pretending to be is a sham. It’s really nothing at all.”
Sirius opens his mouth to retort while I only shake my head.
“Sirius, the ‘deal’ is off. We’re not together and let’s face it, if you hadn’t kissed me on the train we never would have been friends in the first place. This whole thing is time consuming and is on the verge of falling into unnecessary drama.” I say, trying my best to be cold and indifferent. “Besides who am I really to you?”
Sirius’s face has closed off; a wall has been built up. Everything falls apart. I nod at him and his mask of impassiveness breaks as he gives me a long, burning stare. I turn away, missing the silent plea that he mouths to me.
Except it’s silent and I walk off, not hearing, not listening. What I had proudly scoffed at Maria Kensington, as ‘mine’ was now only a few feet behind me and in reality was never and will never be ‘mine’ at all.
please review guys! Sorry I've been really busy so I couldn't respond to all your wonderful reviews!! Thanks again, so so much!! What do you think of this new development? ha. Don't worry Sirius will be back soon.
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