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Before I'm Gone by Sarah_Bee
Chapter 13 : Epilogue.
Rating: 15+Chapter Reviews: 11

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This quote is from a head stone in Ireland:

‘Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.’

a/n: so this is the end. I had to rewrite this epilogue twice. I wasn't satsified with the original and with this one, I am quite pleased. I wrote this in Derrick's POV and tried my best. I have a soft spot for him. The quote was something I thought was fitting for this last chapter. So, here is the end...enjoy.

            The day was warm and sunny. It was the middle of July. It’d been five years since that day in St. Mungo’s. It’d been five long years since I’d kissed her. It seemed like only yesterday when she was smiling and her blue eyes were twinkling up at me. My green eyes stared at the gravestone in front of me. The polished gray marble with her name engraved on it along with a butterfly. I managed a smile remembering that tattoo on her shoulder. She’d been so nervous to get it but once she had, she never took it off despite her father’s protests. 

            I could hear Molly sobbing on her father’s shoulder as he tried to comfort her. My father was comforting my mother as they stood a distance away. I blinked back the tears from my eyes. I didn’t have to be strong for just myself. I was grieving but I wasn’t going to cry. I had promised her I wouldn’t. But promises can’t last forever. I had promised myself to love her until the very end. I had promised her I’d never leave her no matter what. I always keep my promises. I sighed trying to fill my thoughts with something happier. Why was this harder than I thought it would be?

            A hand touched my shoulder, I glanced back seeing Lucy’s father. His blue eyes were blinking back the tears. He said, “Derrick, I don’t really know what I can say to you. I feel like if I say anything I’ll only make it worse. Lucy, she loved you. I hope you know just how much she did. She would want you to be happy.”

            I nodded, “Thanks sir. I know she loved you too.”

            Lucy’s father nodded and said softly, “I’m going to go take Molly do you want me-”     

            I shook my head. “No. I’ll take care of her. Don’t worry.”

            Lucy’s father nodded and left with a sobbing Molly. But before Molly left with her dad, she said to Derrick, “Thanks for being there for my sister. She appreciated it Derrick.”

            I hugged Molly. Molly let her tears fall once more. She wiped her face. “I’ll come over later.”

            I nodded and she left. I was now practically by myself in the green meadow. I sighed, feeling the sun on my face. I could feel the gentle breeze brush my skin. Lucy would’ve loved this beautiful day. I glanced at my wrist. My fingers of my other hand traced the small heart that was there with Lucy’s initials and mine. I had gotten that tattoo a couple months after I’d first kissed her. She had been thrilled I’d gotten one. I smiled remembering her asking before I got it, “Derrick, are you positive? It isn’t going to come off you know.”

            I remembered telling her, “I’m positive I love you Luce.”

            Lucy had smiled and kissed me for saying that. I sighed gazing back at the gravestone. Lucy had left only a few days ago. For the past five years since our first kiss, she had struggled and gone in and out of St. Mungo’s. But for a short time the last year or so, she’d been just fine. She’d been able to do anything she wanted. My mother hugged me, “Derrick, its okay to cry. We’ll all miss her.”

            “I know mother but I have to be strong for Allie.” I said to her.

            My mother asked, “Do you want me to take her?”

            I shook my head. “No. I’ll be fine.

            My father looked at me and said, “I’m proud of you son.”

            “Thanks dad.” I nodded.

            My parents left. I felt a small hand tug on my jeans. I looked down seeing a three year old girl with short brown hair, greenish blue eyes and a confused expression. She asked, “Where’d mommy go to daddy?”

            I picked her up and held her in my arms. I tried to say without crying, “She went to a place that’s really good Allie, a really good place where she doesn’t need the hospital and she’s not in any pain.”

            Allie smiled, “I am happy she’s not sick.”

            “So am I Allie.” I kissed her forehead. Allie was my entire world now. She always would be.

            Lucy had practically begged me to let her have at least one child with her before she would be gone. I had argued with her saying it’d be too hard for her to deal with along with going in and out of St. Mungo’s. I could still hear her pleading with me after we’d officially gotten married. “Derrick, please! I’ll never ask anything again! I just want to try! Please!”

            I had said to her deeply wanting kids too but I wasn’t sure Lucy could handle that, “It’ll be too much for you to deal with. You’d be in and out of St. Mungo’s all the time.”

            Lucy had begged for nearly a month before I let her have her way. I did want kids, especially with Lucy but with her having cancer, it just didn’t seem likely. Before I knew it, Lucy was pregnant with Allie. She had been so thrilled when she’d been told at St. Mungo’s. She had jumped into my arms exclaiming, “We’re having a baby Derrick!”

            I sighed remembering how happy I’d been when I’d found out. Lucy had started redecorating the house because she was so happy. But then we found out it was a girl. She was even more thrilled. “Derrick, she’s going to be obsessed with Quidditch and she’s definitely going to have your stubbornness.”

            I had laughed when she said that. “My stubbornness? What about yours?”

            Lucy had made a face but she’d been right. From the moment Alice Lucy Longbottom had been born, she’d been stubborn. She’d keep us up all night but we didn’t care. She’d even been born a month early. The first day I’d held Allie, I’d been nervous as heck. Lucy had just about the happiest smile on her face when I sat on the edge of the hospital bed. She had been holding our baby. “Want to hold her Derrick?”

            I had hesitated at first. She looked so breakable and so little. Lucy had laughed, “She won’t break, just be gentle.”

            I grinned as I’d held baby Allie in my arms. “She’s beautiful. Just like you Luce.”

            Lucy had kissed me. I said once we’d decided on Alice Lucy Longbottom for her name, “Allie Longbottom.”

            Lucy laughed, “Already you’ve given our daughter a nickname?”

            “Why not? It suits her.” I grinned.



            My thoughts were snapped back to reality when Allie said, “Daddy, what you thinking ‘bout?”

            I looked at my daughter. Every time I looked at her sweet innocent face, I remembered Lucy. “I’m thinking about mommy.”

            “I miss her.” Allie said sadly.

            “I do too sweetie.” I said kissing her cheek.

            I sighed taking one more glance at the gravestone. My green eyes filled with tears. A hand touched my shoulder. I turned, still holding Allie in my arms. Lucy’s father was standing there. He had offered to take her before but this time I let him take Allie from my arms, “I’ll take her home Derrick, take all the time you need.”

            I nodded, “Thanks.”

            Allie said to me after kissing my cheek, “Love you daddy.”

            “I love you too Allie.” I managed a smile and kissed her forehead.

            Lucy’s father managed a smile as well. He was blinking back the tears. I knew he was remembering all the times he’d told Lucy he’d loved her and she’d say it back. They left. I knelt down on the grass, inches from the polished slab of marble with Lucy’s name on it. My fingers traced her name. My eyes let the tears stream down my face. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I wiped the tears from my face softly saying, “It doesn’t seem fair it had to end this way Luce but I guess that’s part of life. Allie will probably have very distant memories of you but I’ll never forget you. You’ll probably always be on my mind every time I look at our daughter. You once told me she reminded you of me. I think I have to disagree. She reminds me mostly of you. Who knows what Allie will do with that determination of yours? She’ll probably end up making a list of stuff she wants to do throughout her rebellious teenage years. I wish you could be here to watch the rest of her life unfold.”

            I stood saying, “Well Luce, I’ll see you later. I love you.”

            Putting my hands in the pockets of my jeans, I started to walk away. I could feel the gentle breeze brush my back. I glanced back wondering if I’d imagined hearing Lucy’s soft voice saying, “I love you too.”

            But I don’t know if it was my imagination. But I do know that love doesn’t always win in the end. I suppose some stuff occurs for a reason beyond what we can even understand. We don’t always like what happens. We try and desperately cling to the people we love most in this world. But we can’t always hold onto them forever. Sometimes we just need to let them go even if we don’t want to. That’s just life and we aren’t always in control of what happens but despite the heartache we will feel when people we love most are gone, we have the happy memories to help us get through it. Memories are something no one can take from you. Memories are what you can always cherish and the ones you shared with that special person will never leave you. I know I will never forget the memories I made.


a/n: so was the ending good or bad? I wasn't quite sure at first but I did a few minor things to make it seem real and I am actually quite satsified with it. I want to give a big hug and thank you to everyone who has reviewed! I also want to say huge thanks to DefenestratedPi one last time :( . She has really helped me make this story come to life! Thanks to everyone who has given me their input on everything!!!!!! Well onto more stories! *goes off to continue writing A Love Thicker Than Blood.*
I say one last farewell to Lucy for I won't be writing about her again....sad to say, but this is the end. Thanks for sticking with me on this story!

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