*the plot & OC's are mine, the rest belongs to J.K.
“Hey, I was wondering where you were,” Remus said into Shay’s ear as he hugged her from behind.
Shay was startled and flinched. She felt as if she was crawling out of her skin.
“Did you sleep well?” he asked in a kind, gentle voice.
Shay nodded her head and held back tears that were stinging her eyes. Her body shivered and shook. Remus released his grip and turned Shay so she was facing him. He saw her tears and quickly became concerned.
Shay wiped her tears away before she spoke.
“Remus, last night…” Shay started but had a hard time getting the words out.
“Last night was great,” Remus said with a warm smile.
“It was but I feel guilty,” Shay said quietly.
“You have nothing to be guilty about. We’re both adults that can make rational decisions, right?”
“Right,” Shay said with a weak smile.
“Shay, we can make this work if you want,” Remus said and moved her hair out of her eyes.
“Okay,” Shay said and gently nodded her head.
“I’m going to take a shower then we can head over to headquarters,” Remus said with a smile.
Shay nodded her head again and watched Remus exit the kitchen.
Shay didn’t know what to do. Remus seemed so happy and that last thing she wanted was to hurt him. But she knew the mistake she made. Shay knew that she couldn’t put her heart into a relationship with Remus. But she didn’t know how to tell him that.
Shay checked the room once again and she heard the shower going before she opened the liquor cabinet. She took out the bottle of fire whiskey Remus kept for when he had guests over. He wasn’t much of a drinker. Shay twisted the top off the bottle and the aroma of whiskey burned her nose. Shay took a long drink from that bottle that made her cringe. Her body became warm with alcohol. Shay took another drink before putting the bottle back. She couldn’t break it off with Remus sober, but she figured a little liquid courage might help matters.
Shay and Remus arrived at a shockingly quiet and empty headquarters. They gave each other weird looks and tried to remember if they forgot something. Remus and Shay entered the main room and found Alice and Lily waiting for them.
“Good, you two are finally here. There’s been an attack on a muggle town. Everyone left about ten minutes ago,” Alice said quickly.
“Take this portkey. It will transfer you right outside of the town,” Lily said.
“Remember, don’t lose the portkey,” Alice said and pointed to a rusted can on the table.
“Good luck,” Lily said with a nervous smile.
Remus and Shay nodded at them and without saying anything, they grabbed onto the portkey.
Shay felt the familiar tug at her navel and began to spin rapidly. She shut her eyes so she wouldn’t become sick.
Shay and Remus fell with a thud into a grassy field. She felt dizzy and disorientated and did not feel ready to go into battle. It also didn’t help that she had quite a nice buzz going on.
Remus extended a hand out to help her off the ground. She accepted it and stumbled a little before becoming stable.
“Are you ok?” Remus asked with concern.
“Yea, it’s just the damn portkey. I will never get used to that,” Shay said with an assuring smile.
“Be careful out there. I plan to cook dinner for two tonight and you’re invited. I’ll be heartbroken if you don’t come,” Remus said lightly.
“Everybody is going to make it out here today. I have a good feeling about it,” Shay said and she and Remus made a dash toward the noise and commotion.
“Thank Merlin you two made it. Remus, the twins need help. Shay stay with me and Mad-Eye,” Edgar Bones said to the two of them as soon as they approached.
Remus ran over to help Gideon and Fabian with the four against two situation they had. Shay immediately started to help Edgar and Mad-Eye fend off their attackers.
Shay had never seen a battle that escalated before. Nobody was hurt yet but it wouldn’t be long before they would start to tire. The Death Eaters were coming on in full force and there were more Death Eaters there than they had ever seen before. That good feeling Shay had started to drift away slowly. She was not on top of her game and she was not sure prepared everyone else had been.
“Stupefy!” Shay yelled and the spell hit a Death Eater that was coming behind Edgar.
Shay then backed up into Caradoc, who had been fighting two Death Eaters on his own.
“Come to join the party?” a female voice asked from behind the Death Eater mask.
Shay recognized the voice immediately.
“I usually try to avoid you like the plague, Bellatrix. But I couldn’t resist this one,” Shay said coyly and held her wand firmly pointed at Bellatrix.
“I saw your house a few weeks ago. It wasn’t my taste so we did some redecorating before we left. I’m sure you noticed,” Bellatrix said and Shay could hear the smirk in her voice.
“How is baby Black? All he did was cry when we were there, but we got him to shut up,” Bellatrix said with sickening joy and then screeched out laughter.
Shay froze. All she could see was red. She had never felt that kind of anger before. Her body shook and she felt as if she could breathe fire.
“Crucio!” Shay screamed.
It was the only spell she could think of.
Bellatrix caught the spell and sent it off. The spell missed James only by centimeters.
“And I thought you were with the good guys,” Bellatrix said with another screeching laugh.
Shay wanted to hex her. She wanted to hurt her. She wanted to kill Bellatrix. But she couldn’t think of a single spell.
“Expelliarmus!” Bellatrix yelled and Shay’s wand went flying with ease.
Shay knew that she was in trouble but no one else seemed to notice. But Shay had no choice. She had to use her wandless abilities. She had to avenge her son.
“Incarcerous!” Shay yelled and ropes shot out and wrapped Bellatrix tightly.
Bellatrix had been caught off guard and fell to the ground with a thud. Shay kept her focus on Bellatrix. She watched the ropes tighten as the seconds went on. She watched Bellatrix squirm as she tried to free herself. Shay watched the ropes close around her neck as it began to choke Bellatrix. Shay had never felt that kind of power before. She had the decision of giving Bellatrix life or death. Bellatrix did not show Cillian mercy. Shay would not show her any.
Bellatrix had begun sputtering when Shay was hit in the back with a curse. She had never felt pain like that before. It seared throughout her body and she tried to scream but her voice had escaped her. Shay fell to the ground. The curse didn’t last long but the pain lingered. She felt disorientated and her vision was blurred.
“Poor thing, you almost had me,” Shay heard the distant, shrill voice above her.
Her vision started to refocus. It allowed her to see Bellatrix standing above her, wand pointed directly at her chest.
“I’m done playing games with you,” Bellatrix said quickly.
“Avada Kedavra!” she screeched.
Shay felt a power over come her as she saw the bright green light coming towards her. Everything was going in slow motion. Shay held her hand out in front and felt everything stream out of her body. She thought she was dead. But when she looked at her hand she saw an electric blue blast of light coming out of it. The blue light sent the curse off. However, Shay had not realized where the curse was headed. Before she could send out a warning, Bellatrix’s spell hit Alana square in the back. Alana dropped like a ton of bricks. All Shay could do was scream.
“Look who the murderer is now,” Bellatrix said and then vanished.
Her fellow Death Eaters followed her.
The commotion had stopped but Shay had not noticed. She crawled over to Alana. Shay searched for a pulse and felt nothing. She listened for breathing and heard nothing. She looked into Alana’s eyes and saw a look that matched Niki’s and Cillian’s. Shay was instantly brought back to that night. But this time was different. She was the murderer.
Shay saw Peter drop to his knees on the other side of Alana. But she couldn’t hear anything. It was all too jumbled. Shay saw how distraught Peter was. Her life started to go into slow motion again, which made the look Peter gave her more than unbearable. She knew he was yelling at her and she didn’t need to read lips to know what he was saying. He blamed her.
Shay felt as if she was watching movie. Everybody was around her but she felt as if no one could see her. She felt as if she couldn’t reach out to anyone. She watched James and Sirius struggle to break Peter away from Alana. They were trying to talk to him but he wouldn’t listen. And all Shay could do was watch. She was a bystander to what she caused.
Before she could start to think it was all a dream, a hand gently touched her back. That touch brought her back to reality. She started to hear everything. She started to see everything differently. The hand recoiled quickly though. She looked up to identify the owner of the hand. Remus stood above her and looked torn between comforting his best friend and comforting his supposed girlfriend. Shay had never seen someone look so concerned. Remus bent down next to her and Shay saw that his palm was red and blisters were starting to form.
“We have to go.”
Shay and Remus returned to headquarters. The room full of people was completely silent as they all stared at Shay. They were waiting for an explanation.
“It was an accident,” Shay said quietly.
She was in disbelief that she had found her voice again.
“I don’t know what happened. Bellatrix sent the Avada Kedavra at me and I deflected it somehow. I didn’t have time to warn her,” Shay said and tears were quickly forming in her eyes.
Shay scanned the faces of the people in front of her. Most of them looked shell-shocked. But when she looked at Sirius, his face held the same concern Remus’s face had in the previous minutes.
She turned to see who was calling her name. Dumbledore stood behind her and looked as calm as he always did. He didn’t need to ask her. She automatically followed him out of the room.
“Drink,” Dumbledore said and pointed to a large pitcher of water and a cup that stood next to it.
Before Shay could put the cup to her mouth, Dumbledore interrupted her.
“First, I want you to touch my arm,” Dumbledore said and held out his arm.
Shay set her glass down but noticed that her handprint was pressed into the glass.
“What’s wrong with me?” Shay asked and ignored Dumbledore’s extended arm.
“Drink the water before we talk,” Dumbledore said and sat down across from Shay.
Shay finished the water quickly. She hadn’t realized how thirsty she was.
“Shay, what happened out there today? I need you to tell me everything.”
Shay told him about the entire event. About her matching up with Bellatrix and what Bellatrix said about Cillian. About how she deflected the curse and how she ultimately killed Alana.
“Did you feel powerful?” Dumbledore asked her after she told her story.
“I never felt so much power in my entire life.”
“It takes a very powerful wizard or witch to deflect the Avada Kedavra curse. Especially without a wand,” Dumbledore said and gazed at her.
“I don’t want to be powerful,” Shay said bluntly.
“You don’t have much of a choice,” Dumbledore said with a small smile.
“I still don’t understand why all of this happened today.”
“What you had with you today is the most powerful thing in the world. Love. When Bellatrix mentioned Cillian you began to receive that power because you love him more than anyone in this world and would do anything to get him back. You felt raw emotion for Bellatrix. You felt so much hate for her that your body began to heat. That is why the glass has your handprint and why Remus’s hand is burned. And the love is what kept you alive. That was what deflected the curse. The love for your son saved your life,” Dumbledore said.
“But it took someone else’s. Albus, Alana died because of me,” Shay said and started to become upset again.
“Did that curse come from your wand?” Dumbledore asked gently.
“No,” Shay said quietly.
“Then you did not kill Alana. It is most unfortunate what happened but everyone has a fate. You were not meant to die today. Nobody blames you for what happened.”
“Peter does,” Shay said and looked Dumbledore square in the eyes.
“He will have his time to grieve and will realize that you are not to blame. He will be angry but it will recede. From what I under he is not the first person you know to grieve with anger.”
Shay knew that he was talking about Sirius.
“I used the Cruciatus Curse today,” Shay said with embarrassment.
“You were obviously provoked,” Dumbledore said with understanding.
“I don’t know how much longer I can do this for. I never expected to lose this much. Soon I’ll have nothing left to fight for.”
“Shay, as you showed today, you have everything to fight for.”
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