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Accidentally on Purpose by 100 _percent_ witch
Chapter 11 : Of Many Broken Things
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 11

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Chapter 11 

Day Four of Fornicating or not really Fornicating but the illusion of For--- Oh, why do I even bother?

Still One Break Up Later (This whole tryst is starting to get boring.) 

When you wake up in a foreign place with the same clothes you wore the previous night, your breath and your mouth feeling (and smelling) like something died in it, and you' re about this close to falling off the bed, the ultimate surprise of being in this situation makes its appearance and you fall painfully to the floor, that’s when you know you’re screwed. Especially since your fall wakes up the sleeping person beside you. 


The. Sleeping. Person. Beside. You. 

“For bloody sake!” Exclaims the apparently cranky person from above me. Oh God, this is a nightmare. 

“Why, hello there good fellow!” I wave meekly, peeking from the side of the bed. “Er.. fancy seeing you here.” 

‘Good fellow’, a.k.a. Cranky- Not- a- Morning Person –Sirius- Black, suddenly flops over on his side, facing me. I gulp. 

“Um… I don’t mean to sound ungrateful or anything, er… sir but I really ought to be going and I think I fell on dirty laundry so um….” I whisper into the bed. One, because I don’t want to wake any more of the sleeping Gryffindor boys and two, because to be quite frank, my breath stinks. A lot. 

“Marriot.” Sirius groans into the pillow. “Just go back to bed. It’s only five in the morning.” 

“Excuse me, I don’t mean to sound… I don’t know stupid? But what bed?” I hiss. “Because last time I checked all the beds had occupants in them. Male occupants and I’m pretty sure that— hey, oi, yo!” 

Sirius Black had gracefully leapt off his bed in frustration, swooped in and picked me dumping me onto his bed quite roughly. I landed with a loud, oh!

“Go. To. Bed.”  

“Fine.” I say huffily and scoot as far away as possible from him. I can feel his steely glare and with a loud sigh of exasperation he throws the blanket over my body. 

“Thanks.” I sniff. 

“Bed.” He growls and sidles up to the opposite end of the bed. A whole other person could have fit in between the gap between Sirius and me. 

Despite his harsh demands, I don’t fall asleep. In fact I’m so acutely awake that when I hear Sirius’s steady breathing beside me, I cautiously pull the blanket off and tip toe out of the dormitory.  Good riddance. 

Okay, not really because disheveled, grumpy Sirius is really attractive.  

When I end up at the bottom of the staircase I can’t help but admire the Gryffindor Common Room, all bold and gold and welcoming. This admiration of decoration is suddenly cut short when I realize that I ought to be going. Really. 

Think of the implications! 

I rush out of the portrait hole and sprint my way to the stairs. As I reach them, panting and practically crawling (I’ve never run like that in my life), I spot a lone figure above on one of the moving staircases. Although this sight normally wouldn’t have been so strange, the figure on the stairs seemed to be sitting on them and even though the stairs would rotate and move, still the figure sat. 

Weird. Plus, it was like five in the morning. 

Inevitably the staircases meet and I awkwardly try to go past the figure that’s looking forlornly through the barrier. His posture, defeated, his face, confused. 

Ever the graceful goddess, I misjudge a step and manage to trip over myself. My cry of surprise, gives away my presence as the boy jumps up suddenly and regards me disdainfully. He glances down my attire with something akin to revulsion across his features. I cross my arms over my chest in an effort to defend myself from his blatantly disgusted look. 

“Desperately trying to stand out. Frantic. Clumsy. Awkward. ” He sneers. “You must be Janelle Marriot.” 

My scowl deepens at the hostile tone in his voice. 

“You are?” I ask, trying to muster up an equal amount of venom. 

“You don’t recognize me?” He taunts resentfully. “Considering people say my brother and I look remarkably alike.” 

For the first time, I finally get a close look at this rude human being. His face, I instantly notice, would have been extremely handsome had it not been for the rather permanent sneer etched on it. His dark curls were cropped short above his ear. His nose, perfectly straight was currently stuck up his arse. His eyes were extremely familiar and in that moment I realized with sudden clarity who this pompous person was. Where his brother had stormy, mischievous eyes that somehow made him seem warmer, he had steely gray eyes that betrayed nothing. 

“Regulus Black.” I murmur. 

“Where are you headed off to at this hour?” He asks, sneering. “Has Siri tired of you after only one lousy shag?”

My cheeks flame as I try to ignore his cold, humorless laughter. And yeah, the sleeping with Sirius definitely played a factor in the current blushing of my cheeks.

“Oh, come on, Janelle. Talk to me. Confide in me.” He whispers dauntingly. “I hear you never stop talking. Your boyfriend certainly makes no attempt at trying to stop your endless chatter. So where’s my welcome?” 

“Your welcome?” I ask surprised and in an instant I glower. “Here’s your welcome, you git.” 

And with that I punch him in the face. 

Oohh. Bad move, Marriot. Bad move. 

I stare at my hand in horror as he reels from the encounter. I know I should be running. I know it, but after you do something like that…. Well, you just can’t walk away. Plus, living with John has made me quite a great puncher so I have to say that I can sympathize with the pain.  

“Oh God.” I wail. “I’m sorry. You were just being a complete git not that it justifies me punching you in the face but… oh Merlin, I’m sorry.” 

I go over to examine him in his moaning agony.

“I dink you boke my nose.” He yells and with one hand, whips out his wand. I back away aware that my mouth is still babbling apologies. 

“Here,” I say, “I can fix it. Just let me take a look at it.” 

I edge forward as he is examining his nose. He releases some carefully chosen and colorful words that I’d rather not repeat. His glare could cut through ice. 

“Look here, you arse,” I say, finally tiring of his threats, “You’re either going to walk around with a bleeding nose for the whole world to see or I can fix it right here. I don’t think you want any of your Slytherin friends to know that you got totally owned by a girl.” 

With one last, mind boggling glare he slowly lowers his wand. I notice, however, that his knuckles are white from restrained anger. Er, I better make this quick. 

“You’re going to have to move your hand.” I say patiently. Hey, I could give some good ole patience to the guy whose nose I broke. 

He moves his hand violently so that his hand ‘accidentally’ hits my arm. I growl in response and a smirk, oh so similar to his brother’s graces his face.  

I pull out my handy dandy wand from my pocket and not so gently prod his nose with it. He yells something incoherent. 

Episkey.” I mutter. His nose naturally returns to normal although blood is still all over his face. “Scourfigy.” I add to clean it up. 

As soon as I do that I am violently pushed away from him. 

“Argh. It’ll take me days to wash off your filthy half-blood stench off of me.” He says, mockingly sniffing himself. 

“What?! It’ll take me days to wash off your dirty, prejudiced, awful, swarmy, disgusting, toad-like wart filled, stupidly blind, arse wiping, follower, git face, bloody fat, ugly, shit faced, aroma off of me, you bloody bloody egit!!” I yell breathlessly. 

He gapes at me in shock. 

“You’re mental.” He says sincerely. 

“And you’re the filthy scum that exists at the very bottom of lake made up of fish and merpeople feces, not to mention the giant’s squids! And let me tell you, that is not a small a small pile of shit.” I yell. 

I think I’ve outdone myself this time. I think I really have. I give myself an imaginary pat on the back.  

But before he can even respond and I bask in my superior insulting skills, the staircase has finally decided to move. Losing my balance I fall, not toward Regulus Black (my life is not that predictable, thank you very much) but the edge of the staircase itself. In a panic I try to grasp on to something that can stop me from my fall but my hands grasps nothing but air.  I’m going to die. I’m going to die. I’m going to—And suddenly a strong hand clamps his hand around my hands that are grasping for air. He gives a gigantic pull and we’re both toppling, him backward on the stairs and me forward on the stairs until we’re a tangle of bodies at the foot of it. It takes a few seconds for anybody to speak.  

“Hey.” I say absently from the floor. “Am I dead?” 

“Unfortunately, no.” He says sullenly from beside me. 

“I thought so, because I think my leg is broken.” I say emptily. “Ow.”  I say to elaborate. 

“Tough.” He murmurs and I catch him looking down at my leg.” That is not supposed to look like that.” He says calmly, although I see a bit of revulsion in his eyes 

I think we laid at the landing of the staircases for about five minutes before the pain started to become excruciating. 

“Hey, it hurts.” I say finally. 

He sighs resignedly and picks himself off the floor. I watch him wipe away dirt from his robes. 

“Hello.” I sing, annoyed. “Girl in pain here. I think your robes can wait.” 

He rolls his eyes. 

Levicorpus” He murmurs bored. 

Instantly I am lifted off the ground and am levitating, quite uncomfortably. My leg is throbbing with pain and I dare not look at the mess my left leg has become. 

“Who’s the scum at the bottom of the lake now, Marriot!”? Regulus taunts, although the trace of hostility is gone from his voice. Almost like he’s teasing me. 

“Do not try to use my insults against me, Black!” I say through gritted teeth. “Just take me to the bloody hospital wing.” 

“Don’t boss me around.” He says petulantly. 

“Stop acting like a child and take me to the bloody hospital wing or I swear I will punch your nose in!!” I scream. “ Again.” 

“I don’t think you’re in any condition to be giving orders.” He smirks from above me and as if to prove his point he knocks my head against the brick wall. Albeit it was gentle but rather annoying and childish. 

"You know what this is called?" He says, thinking a bit. "Karma."

“Karma is a bitch." I sigh. 

He only laughs mockingly and leads a floating me, toward the Hospital Wing. Thankfully, we didn’t have to ride any more staircases. I would shoot myself.  

“I’m curious,” He says snidely after a few moments of silence, “How can someone as daft as you could attract my brothers attention.” 

“Sirius and I are not—“ I stop suddenly, angrily. He raises an eyebrow at this. 

“So you’re coming out of a night with my brother in the same clothes you were in the night before and you expect me to believe that you and Sirius are not together?” He says, his tone coated with sarcasm and disgust. 

“It’s none of your business whether Sirius and I are together or not but for your information, I did not take off any of my clothes… yesterday night.” I blush at the take off my clothes bit but I’m too distracted by the intense pain in my leg to care. 

Seriously, my leg is hurting like a cow. Like somehow only muscles and tissue is keeping my leg together, straining it and throbbing painfully. I let out a cry as one of these particular throbbing sensations engulf me in a wave of pain. I’m trying very hard to keep the tears repressed but without Regulus’s constant insults to fuel my anger that masks the pain, the tears are getting harder and harder to keep in my eyes. 

Having glimpsed my watery eyes, Regulus hurriedly picks up the pace to the Hospital Wing. Men and their fear of emotion, honestly. 

We finally arrive at the Hospital Wing and Regulus is calling out in an incredibly pompous voice for the matron. She bustles out, irritated but finds me levitating on air with a probably disgusting looking thing, dangling where my left leg ought to be and immediately entreats into the domineering and purposeful medi-witch we know her to be. 

“Ms. Marriot, what fool activities have you been doing at this ungodly hour?” She asks condescendingly, as she places me on a bed.   

“Falling down stairs,” I hear a disgruntled voice say from behind her. Madame Pomphrey, a rather voluptuous witch, turns swiftly toward Regulus with a glare to which he maintains his nasty sneer. 

“You can go now.” I growl from the bed. 

 “I was just about to leave.” He snaps back “And by the way,” He spits suddenly, “You can thank me later for saving your life!” 

His words struck me just as Madame Pomphrey prodded my leg with her wand. It was at that moment I promptly fainted from the pain. A somewhat long overdue reaction in my opinion.




Sirius awoke like any other normal day, to an empty bed. Okay, except for the days he’d met or reacquainted himself with a fit girl. Sirius rolled on his back and tried to go back to sleep but a nagging sensation in his stomach was keeping him from doing so. He should be remembering something, someone, he groggily assessed. And with lightening clarity he remembered. 

After coaxing a very drunk Marriot out of her slumber, he had half dragged; half supported her out of the Room of Requirement. Out of sheer laziness of carrying her all the way to the Ravenclaw Tower he had brought her here, to his room, into his bed! 

Bloody hell, so where was she? In a state of mindless panic, he had looked under the sheets and under his own pillow. Yesterday night had been eventful to say the least. James had managed to declare his undying love to Lily through a series of interpretive dances that required an unnecessary amount of hip thrusts. Lily had punched him. Remus was nursing his mate’s busted ego, as Sirius was too busy making sure Burnett didn’t get close to Janelle on the couch. 

And then he remembered setting a now, sleeping Janelle onto his bed while his friends had whistled and cheered and how he had given all of them the fiercest glare imaginable. Because he could never, ever think about other people other than himself thinking pervy stuff about Janelle. Unless it involved a third party member.... 

Sirius shook his head. Not exactly the right time, mate, he thought to himself.

It had never fully occurred to Sirius that he was showing all signs and symptoms of a man truly ‘whipped’ by his ‘girlfriend.’ His overprotective-ness he reasoned was brotherly like. His sudden assertion to all women who clamored to him was normal considering he was ‘pretending’ to date Janelle. 

What had ever possessed him to proclaim his ‘affection’ for the girl, he would not know. All he knew was as he saw Janelle’s face light with embarrassment and this sudden sadness as Flitwick read the note, he had somehow wanted to put things right. 

And Sirius Black trying to put things right, usually backfired. Like the time Sirius, tired of James and his pining for Lily had thrust the two of them into a locked broom cupboard for a whole day and promptly forgot about them until the next morning. Where James would not speak about what happened in the closet and more importantly would not speak to him for a week, muttering something about his ‘manhood’ being scarred. And Lily hitting curse after curse at his head and calling him, ‘Potter’s partner in crime’ and promising vengeful threats in his face. Yes, Sirius Black was not very good at ‘putting things right.’ 

He remembered as Janelle began muttering in her sleep about sweaty hands and flying monkeys and how he had smiled at her and wondered how someone so unique could be without friends.  And then he remembered how he used to be afraid of her and how her sanity was always put into question. 

Sirius rubbed his eyes. His thoughts becoming too deep for his liking, he grudgingly rummaged through James’s trunk to find the Marauder’s Map. 

I solemnly swear I am up to no good.” He yawned. 

The map unraveled to show the sprawling grounds of Hogwarts. He quickly searched for the dot, labeled Janelle Marriot. He had to rub his eyes again to make sure he was seeing correctly because he saw Janelle’s dot alright but it was the dot next to her that caused him to stir. He watched as the two of them, alone, make their way to the Hospital Wing. 

“Reggie.” Sirius growled and jumping off his bed he hurriedly made his way toward the Hospital Wing, thoughts of rage and confusion swirled in his mind. 


As far as encounters go, Sirius had to say that this was one was really bloody stupid because as soon as Sirius had reached the Hospital Wing, Reggie was already striding out of it, looking immensely irritated and angry. Typical. 

“Reggie!” Sirius barked to gain his brother’s attention. Reggie looked up and surprise crossed his face before turning into an angry scowl. 

“Don’t call me that!” He hissed, stepping toward Sirius threateningly. Sirius was taken aback by the sheer venom and anger that showed on his brother’s once, carefree face. He had changed so much from the adoring brother he had left months ago. 

Obviously his sudden departure from his parent’s house had affected Reggie. Sirius felt a pang of guilt and looked down at the slightly shorter boy whose eyes were remarkably like his own. 

“I’m your brother.” Sirius said calmly. “I can call you whatever I like.” 

“I have no brother.” Reggie hissed with sudden venom. 

Sirius stared at his little brother almost as if seeing a stranger for the very first time. That little pang, Sirius had felt before now came back again. 

“Listen, Reggie, we can talk about this later.” Sirius said as he grabbed his brother’s arm. “But I want to know what you did to Janelle.” 

“You mean, your crazy girlfriend who punched me in the nose and called me ‘fish and merpeople AND squid feces?” Regulus sneered. He jerked his arm away from Sirius’s grip. 
Sirius couldn’t help but let a tiny smirk emerge at the thought of Janelle punching Reggie. 

“Your nose looks fine.” He said gruffly. 

Reggie blushed for some reason but quickly looked away. 

“Bloody Marriot fell down the stairs.” Reggie said. 

Sirius snorted. He should have known. 

“She broke her leg.” 

That quickly stifled the snort. 

“What!?” He asked in disbelief and pushing past his brother he strode toward the Hospital Wing. He paused before the door and turned his head back to his brother. He was feeling decidedly miserable at this encounter. 

“We will be talking later.” Sirius vowed to his brother. 

Reggie narrowed his eyes and without even a backwards glance sauntered off. 

“Git,” Breathed Sirius before he opened the Hospital Wing door. 

As soon as he entered he was met with an impatient Madame Pomphrey.

“Hullo, Poppy.” Sirius smiled charmingly. “How’s Janelle?”  

“Just fainted. Poor dear.” She tutted and like lightning she whirled on Sirius. “If you’re here to extract some revenge on her for poking you in the eye, you will have to leave.” 

Sirius put up his hands in defense, wincing a bit at the memory of a fork protruding in his eye. Yes, he agreed, any other day I would have wanted revenge. But now, Sirius wondered, now he was rushing to help her. Sirius shook his head and followed the medi-witch to Janelle’s bed. 

He gazed down at Janelle and his gaze moved down to her leg. 

“Ew.” He said. It wasn’t a particularly manly thing to say but he was pretty sure a leg was not meant to bend that way and purple definitely was not a nice skin color on Janelle unless she was a dinosaur or somewhat. 

 He plopped himself into a nearby chair and tentatively caressed her hand. He grinned to himself as he imagined her reaction to him stroking her hand. He’d probably be punched by now. 

Madame Pomphrey watched all this from the corner of her eyes, making sure Black was really not considering revenge. She thought it completely odd that a not a few weeks ago, these two children were ready to commit murder. She watched as Sirius Black’s face softened. Madame Pomphrey, despite everything, was a hidden romantic. And she had seen her fair share of teenage love evolve in front of her eyes. But as she looked at the clumsy Marriot and a very handsome (medi-witches have feelings too) Sirius Black she wasn’t quite sure. 

She shrugged and in an instant transformed into the domineering Madame Pomphrey. 

“Black. Out. Now.” She demanded and to her chagrin, he leapt off gracefully, mocked saluted her and gave her a cheeky grin. All in a span of a two seconds. 

“Now, Poppy, no need to be jealous.” He winked. And with that he walked out of the Wing and Poppy continued to mumble about arrogant young men and their juvenile tendencies well into morning. 


A/N: It’s a lot earlier than expected but I hope you guys enjoyed it. Thanks for reading and please tell me what you think! What do you think about Regulus’s sudden appearance. And yup, I had to have Sirius’s POV because I wanted another look into Janelle’s life plus, it’s really hard to write in first person when you’re main character is conked out. Again. So tell me what you think. :) 

And to all my dear reviewers out there who left really sweet reviews, I appreciate every single one of them and they made me smile. A lot. So thanks guys.

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