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There's Just No Way by mischef_maker148
Chapter 1 : Yea Right!
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 17

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Meet Miss Lucille Davis

Ok, let’s get one thing straight. I am NOT a fan girl. However I am a female and not to be vain or anything, but I do consider my myself quite intelligent (I am in Ravenclaw for a reason you know). So I can admit (without becoming a crazed psycho) that James Potter II is very very handsome..........................Ok ok more like stunningly HOT. However I would also like to point out that him being positively gorgeous is no reason to act like an insane maniac of epic porportions (*cough* Jules *cough*). And anyways he is such a player, so I see no reason why I should even waste my time mooning over him, as it is obvious he has more than enough girls throwing themselves at him.

So like any perfectly logical person, I have resolved to find someone actually attainable, seeing as it is my seventh and final year at Hogwarts and I still haven’t found a suitable boyfriend, or even a decent guy to snog. So that leaves me at seventeen, with virgin lips and no boyfriend. Yes I am aware that I lead a sad and pathetic existence, thanks. But back to what I was saying, this year I am determined to finally get rid of my pesky never been kissed status with the finding of my first boyfriend. Ambitious? Maybe. But I am resolute.

Now perhaps you are wondering what all this has to do with James Potter. Well you see, my "friends" are convinced that James Potter II (I like saying his full name, it’s so dignified and just fun to say. Hmm that sounds a bit strange, I don’t think I’ll tell anyone that……) had a thing for me back in sixth year. To be honest I kind of did too. See he was in my potions class and Professor Slughorn (he still hasn’t retired yet, which is weird cuz he’s kinda like a bajillion years old. Yea I’m so mature, I know) made us potions partners and he was really flirty (I think) and nice, and we had this whole cute jokey relationship thing going on, but he didn’t really act on it or anything and so I figured I was just being wistful and totally deluding myself.

I mean seriously, why would James Potter II (tee hee) go out with me?!?! He is so out of my league!! He has practically the whole female population of Hogwarts (and other places I’m sure) after him, girls ten billion times prettier than me. Not that I’m disgustingly hideous or anything (at least, I hope not….although that would explain the whole “not having a boyfriend or first kiss” thing……hmmm) , but as previously stated, James Potter II (I really should stop that) is HOT!!

He has the whole mischievous, playful thing going on, with a bit of “I’m such a dangerous bad-boy rule breaker thrown in", but there’s also a hint of “I really can be sweet and caring.” Honestly, it was a mistake to allow the boy out in public, no girl stands a chance really, what with those warm, soulful brown eyes that always has this lively mischievious twinkle and that messy black hair that makes you wanna run your hands through it. Oh! and no girl can resist that body toned by years of quidditch. I mean the boy is built! He is 6’2, and every inch of him is muscle. But not that icky “Ha I have muscles on top of my muscles” kind of thing. I think my mum would call it a “swimmers build.” You know like all tall and wiry, a sharply defined physique…………

Oh dear. It sounds like I fancy him right? Well I don’t!! I just, erm, admire his physical appearance? Honestly can you blame me?!?!?! But I don’t fancy him. Really!! I mean I used to (what girl hasn’t? Well except his sister and cousins I suppose…….because that’d be really weird if they had……..ew) but I’m over it. Now I’m just hoping for a normal, pleasant average looking guy. Hell who am I kidding? As long as he isn’t horribly disfigured I would probably consider him. I might even be desperate enough for someone who was horribly disfigured (not that there’s anything necessarily wrong with being hideously disfigured and all, but I’m just saying, you know, that I’d----well I’d just really prefer someone semi-attractive ok?!), but that’s not the point here.

The point is that James Potter II (ok I’m stopping, really!) would never even consider dating someone like me and I was silly to even think for a moment that he might have a thing for me. All I want is a nice, attractive guy who likes me for me. Someone I actually have a chance with. Because seriously, why would a brave Gryffindor, the ultimate prankster, resident school player, be even remotely interested in a geeky klutz like me, when he could have any girl he wanted? There’s Just No Way!

Introducing Mister James Potter II

Lucille Davis is drop-dead gorgeous. Um at least, that’s what my cousins say anyway. And they’re the experts, so I guess I can take their word for truth. Therefore I can safely say, without fear of being teased that I have a thing for her (*ahem* FRED! *ahem*), that I truly admire her. Because I do. Admire her that is. But I don’t fancy her. At all. See my cousins have this ridiculous notion that I fancy Lucille Davis. And what’s more, they were convinced that she fancied me to.

But I am the James Potter II (dignified eh?) and I don’t just fancy one bird. I fancy all and every girl (cept maybe the hideously disfigured ones, but hey cut a guy some slack!) and I’m much to handsome and popular to be a one woman man. But all my family members (all those 17 and under anyway) have gotten this crazy notion into their heads that I should be with Lucille Davis.

See it all started when old Sluggy (the man still hasn’t retired or died yet!!) made us partners in potions back in sixth. She was really pretty, and very smart. We hit it off pretty well I guess. So MAYBE I did sorta fancy her for a little bit, but I wasn’t really sure how she felt because she was so cool and calm about everything, so I didn’t really do anything about it (hey even I can get a little nervous about these things you know!!). My siblings and cousins (so many!!) kept insisting that I act on it, but she was much to .................composed. Lucille Davis, like I said before, is drop dead gorgeous.

See she has looooooonnnnggg hair the color of dark chocolate that falls all the way down her back to her waist and it looks so silky and soft (it makes me want to reach out and touch it). Plus she has these lovely mahogany brown eyes, that turn gold sometimes in certain light. And she has this little smattering of freckles across her cute nose. And her body. Merlin, her body makes a man want to roll over and whimper. She's rather tall for a chick with the longest loveliest legs, that turn into exquisitely rounded hips and.............*ahem* well, you get the idea.

So I know it sounds like I want her, but that’s just because I do. A man would have to be crazy not to (I am not crazy………..SHUT UP LILY!!). But that does not necessarily mean that I fancy the girl. i I mean I barely know the girl!!! And like I said, I James Potter II, school player, do not fancy any one girl. It’s just not done. And anyway, although I have been assured that I could get any girl I wanted, Lucille Davis just seems out of my league almost. Not that I have ever met any girl who could resist my charm before, but Lucille just seems so above that you know? Too classy. In fact, now that I’m think about it, one could almost say she’s a cold snob (although she was really nice when we were partners, but hey who knows?).

My family (those who attend Hogwarts anyway) have informed me many times that they are quite tired of the bimbos I hang around with in my spare time. Let me take a moment to say THEY ARE NOT BIMBOS!!!! (although I admit some are a bit dim). But that’s just my style. Not that I like hurting a girl’s feelings or anything, but there are just so many girls. Who can settle for just one? And if they are going to throw themselves at me, who am I to deny them? My cousin, Rose, says that I’m a disgusting pig and my other cousin, Dominique, tells me to keep in mind that karma can be a serious bitch and half (such lovely girls don’t you agree?). But I see no harm in having a little fun. Which is all I’m doing. I mean c’mon I’m seventeen!! I should be enjoying life!!

My point is I should not settle down with merely one chick and even if I did, Lucille Davis would not be it. It’s a right laugh if you think about it. Why would she go out with me anyway? She probably thinks she's much to smart, and way to sophisticated for me anyway. Not that I can’t be sophisticated or anything. But she always seems to have it all together, coasting through school and life effortlessly (although she always has her nose in a book, so I don‘t know why she hasn‘t run into a wall or anything yet). Why would a brainy ravenclaw, the ultimate bookworm, resident school chic geek, go for a joking slacker when she could have some intellectual know it all who would stimulate her intelligence or whatever? There’s Just No Way! 

Dear Readers, 
              Hello! So I'm back with a new story! Now I know I shouldn't be starting a new story what with me already having problems with "Being Bailey" (go check it out if you haven't already! ^_^), but I've been toying with a James II/OC for a while and I couldn't resist. Anyway I hope you enjoyed and as it's my first pathetic attempt at humor, please take pity and REVIEW!! Go ahead and tell me what you think! Thanks and I love you all! 

P.S Please Review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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