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A Type Of Torture by Ollie Vander
Chapter 1 : A Type Of Torture
Rating: 15+Chapter Reviews: 9

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A Type of Torture

James Potter couldn’t believe that his friends, his fellow marauders, had decided to set him up on a date. To James dates were torture enough, but being marauders, it couldn’t be just a date. It had to be a blind date.

He sighed.
It was a large sigh.
It was a "ginormo" sigh.
It was the biggest sigh ever.
Or maybe it was a yawn.

Whatever it was, James figured it was a sign of desperation, which Sirius, his best mate and fellow marauder heard. Sirius’s head popped up at the sound. “Mate, that’s the third sigh in one minute. You think maybe you could stop now?” He went back to doodling on a piece of parchment. James however, looked to his right, to his other friend Remus for support. Remus however, was helping their other friend, Peter, with his history of magic essay.

“No, not him! He burned wizards at the stake…we want the first guy to befriend a hippogriff…yes, there you go!” Remus looked at James with a smile saying, “Finally!” Peter finished writing his paragraph and smirked too, although his smile was one of accomplishment.

“James, you’re not still obsessing over that date, are you?” The pudgy blonde asked. “It will go fine.”

James rolled his eyes. “And how would you know, Mr. ‘I don’t need a girlfriend,’ eh?”

Peter blushed as Remus quickly diverted him back to the essay. “Don’t distract him James. He needs this grade. Why don’t you study as well?” James rolled his eyes for the second time and flopped over on the overstuffed couch.

“Padfoot,” He groaned, pounding the back of Sirius’s neck with his wand. “Don’t make me do it!” Sirius turned, gave a flying leap, and landed on James, pinning him down in a wrestler hold.

“You. Will. Go. On. The. Friggin. Date. You. Will. Like. It. Got it, buddy?” He said the last word with mock disdain, and stood up to release the hold with gritted teeth. James stood up and tried to give the impression he was equal in height to Sirius. However, it didn’t work very well due to the fact Sirius was quite a bit taller. He towered over everyone, especially Peter, who was four feet and eleven inches. Remus found this extremely funny, considering he was the second tallest. None of the marauders let Peter round up to five feet though, and he had given up the challenge long ago.

“Fine then. Seeing as none of you care for my well being,” He gave a fake sniffle, “I’m going to bed.” James turned on his heel, and with his head held high, he made his way from the overstuffed fireplace couch to the boy’s dormitory stairs, knocking into a game of gobstones on the way. The second year girls playing the game looked intimidated to see the sixth year, especially since he was the good looking, popular Quidditch captain. James frowned. “Sorry ladies. Guess I didn’t see you eh?” He winked, causing the girls to giggle and Remus to roll his eyes.

“Always the drama queen, that one is.”

While he lay in bed, James wondered what he had ever done to receive this type of torture. “I have made fun of Snivellus once or twice, but it’s not as if it’s that big of a deal! I mean, it will improve his stamina!” He chuckled, amused with himself as always. A moment later, he felt quite upset. “Merlin, who am I kidding? I’m horrible to him, no wonder why Evans doesn’t…”

He sat up with a start and slapped his head. “Evans! How could I forget her?! I can’t go on this date, it could leave me unavailable!” He walked over to the mirror, glancing at himself before cupping his hands to wash his face. “How could someone this…this…this…adorable settle for anyone less than someone as amazing as…” He glanced at a photograph he had taken sneakily of the love of his life and sighed.


“Had a good night’s sleep, little buddy?”

“Not quite so sure what you mean by ‘little,’ Prongs.” Remus drowsily stated. “And I’m not so sure you should be asking that question, seeing as if you were talking all night. What’s on your mind?”

“You know I hate it when you do that psychoanalysis thing Moony.” James huffed. “I’m fine. I’m just a bit…”

“Anxious? Worried? Confused? Bombarded? Betrayed?” Sirius asked, walking out of the dorm washroom with his black hair wet and grey eyes shining. “We’ve got your back Prongs. There is nothing that can possibly go wrong.”

“Yeah James,” Cut in Peter who usually did not talk in the mornings. “Like I said last night, it will go perfectly. You’re James Potter!”

James almost smiled. “You guys are absolutely sure of this? I would hate to think of what Evans thought if I…”

“Evans shmevins!” Sirius threw a pillow at James. “You are going to have the time of your life! Dates are great experiences. And they’re even better when it’s your best friends in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD setting it up for you!”

Remus checked his watch. “Your best friends, who if they keep talking, will make James miss his date!”

James gaped while Sirius ran to James’s trunk and began randomly sorting through the clothes. “D-date? No-now? What about school?” He asked finally putting his words together.

“Prongs you idiot, it’s Saturday!” Sirius yelled, hitting James with yet another pillow and going back to laying out his best mate’s clothes.

James feebly took a sip of his orange juice, although it pained him just to bring the cup to his lips. The orangey color reminded him of Lily’s hair, so he felt guilty the whole morning. Sirius had decided, that since it was a Hogsmeade weekend, why wait? They decided to set the date for that very Saturday.

Remus looked up from his Daily Prophet and shook his head at James. “You have some weird irrational fears James.”

“It is certainly not irrational!” He replied. “You know perfectly well that talking to girls in a serious atmosphere is a hard and crazy experience.”

“Did I hear my name?” Sirius asked while jumping into the empty seat next to James. The Great Hall bustled with activity, so Sirius knew that James wouldn’t dare protest the date. Humiliation was the one thing he feared more than dates. “Listen, mate, I set up the date for eleven o clock at Madam Puddifoot’s. Har-I mean, the girl is really excited. Show her a good time, will you buddy? “ Sirius cleared his throat and under his breath he added, “Plus when you dump her she can come crying to me.” Then audibly, “My, my! Look at the time, it’s a quarter to eleven! Moony, Wormtail shall we….?” Getting the hint, Remus and Peter stood up next to Sirius.

“Don’t be late James, that doesn’t make a very good first impression.” Peter told him, although his little bit of sagacious wisdom did not comfort James.

“Where are you guys going?” James asked, but they were already out of sight. “Bloody hell,” He muttered. “This is not going to be good.”

James realized while playing the scene over in his mind that the girl had to be Harlene Betreg, since no one else’s name started with a “har”. She was a precocious but vain 6th year Ravenclaw with whom James shared a few classes. James knew that she was always watching him, but then again, so were all the other females in the school. “I can see why,” he thought, catching his reflection in the window of the coffee shop he was due to enter. “Here goes nothing.” He thought.

“James!” He heard a throaty voice call, “I’m over here.” James looked to the source of the voice and found his date, a dark skinned, dark haired beauty in a pink jumper under her regular Hogwarts cloak. He arrived at her table and she smiled. James just stood there, not quite sure what to do. “Well, sit, you crazy boy. Relax. The waitress will be over to bring your drink soon. I ordered you a coffee, is that alright?” James nodded although he hated coffee. “I just know that this date will be awesome! I mean,” She leaned forward, “We are the two most awesome people in the school!” James nodded lightly. The waitress came over with their coffee and he took a sip. Blugh. Bitter. Some things didn’t change. The mug was white ceramic, glazed so that one could see their reflection in it. James noticed that Harlene had noticed this as she was staring fixatedly at the mug, making faces. Finally, she gasped. “My lip balm is unnoticeable! One moment, okay James?” James nodded.   

Once she was in the lavatory, James groped in his cloak pocket for the two way mirror he had snuck. “Sirius Black.” He stated slowly and clearly. Sirius’s face appeared, not at all surprised.

“How’s it going?”

“Horribly.” James stated. “She’s egotistical and vain and it’s a relief that she’s in the lavatory.” 

Sirius smirked. “Sound like anyone else we know?”

Once James figured out who Sirius was talking about, he gaped at him. “How dare you even imply that I am like her! I am way better at…at…got to go. She’s coming.” He lied in an attempt to gather his thoughts.

Finally, when Harlene had really returned, he smiled and thought, “This is my chance to prove Padfoot wrong.” They chatted through sips of coffee, but they found that they had little in common. “Listen, Harlene, it’s been great bu-.” Harlene looked towards the doorway curiously and then cut him off.

“Look who’s coming-Morgan Sipps, that Hufflepuff fatso idiot. She has absolutely no brains. I call her Moron. Oy, Moron, did you go get that brain sharpening potion like I told you to?”

James’s mouth fell open in shock. “Ha….Har….Harlene? I don’t think….”

“Quiet James. So, Moron, how was lunch? Or was that dinner for you? You’re fat enough to eat two of them.” Crying, Morgan fled from the café.

James was aghast. “Is that how I look when I tease Snape?” He wondered. “I-I don’t believe this. Did Sirius do this on purpose? Sirius can’t be that smart.” James then realized that he was being “big-headed,” as Lily often reminded him. “Harlene, this has been really great, but I have some studying to do.”

“Well at least someone has their priorities straight.” She muttered, still not completely pleasant. “I had a great time James. I can see you didn’t though, I’m sor-.”

“As a matter of fact,” James cut in, “I had a great time. Thank you so much!” He hugged her and practically skipped from the café.

James ran straight into the common room when he got back to the castle. “Hey!” He shouted at Sirius, who in return asked;

“So, how did it go?” Sirius prodded. “Tell me everything!”

James stated talking, but then Remus and Peter walked in, so he had to start all over. He had just gotten to the part when he talked to Sirius in the enchanted mirror when Remus cut in. “We know what happened next James. Me and Wormy. We were there.”

James felt his mouth drop open for what it seemed like the one hundredth time that day. “You were eavesdropping on me?”

Peter nodded. “We’re really proud of you James.”

Sirius scowled. “I’m not. I wanted Evans all to myself.” Everyone stared at him. He put his hands up. “Kidding, kidding!” James laughed and tackled him.

For the second night in a row, James lay in bed well past everyone else was asleep. Peter’s snores had long ago filled up the room.

Moony had once read in a book that a person’s feelings were all jumbled up until he (or she) took a deep breath and tried to piece them together. That was when Moony had really started the “psychoanalysis thing.” James had never thought he might use it; he and Sirius put it off as rubbish.

James took a deep breath. “Step one.” He recalled. “Take a deep breath.” Check, time for step two. “State audibly the first feeling word that comes to mind.” James rolled his eyes. Maybe it was a bit of rubbish. He decided to do it anyway. “Embarrassed.”

“Being embarrassed is a sure sign of normality. It means ‘to cause to feel self-conscious or ill at ease,’” A sly voice came from the darkness.

“Moony?” James was agast that anyone else could be up this late.


“Padfoot?” Weird.


James took a double take at the shadow. “Peter?!”

“Yes, it is I, Peter. No, stupid, it’s Sirius.”

“And Moony.” Another voice came out of the darkness.

“What are you two doing up?”

"We just know you so well that we knew you would be, so we stayed up as well.”

“Oh, well…” James started. “I’m just about to go to bed. Goodnight!” He didn’t feel like sharing his feelings with anyone, not after that little fright.

“Sure, sure. Just remember James…James? I know you’re awake, no one but Sirius can fall asleep that quickly, no matter what you have done, its never to late to change it.”

“Yeah mate. And remember, we’re going to be behind you with whatever you need. Especially dungbombs. I do hate that flowery shampoo those girls use…”

James stifled a laugh and instead uttered a fake snore. Tomorrow though, he decided, he was going to have a talk with Lily Evans.

“Hey, Lily!”

Lily Evans turned around at the sound of her name only to see James Potter, who was, in her opinion, one of the most annoying people on the face of the Earth. “What, Potter?” She sneered. “You know what the answer to your favorite question is, why don’t you go pester some other girl?” She kept walking down the steps to care of magical creatures.

James kept behind her. “Actually, I was hoping that-.”

“That I could lead you to Snape? No, I cannot. I cannot help how rude he is or egotistical you are, but I can prevent you from teasing him!”

James didn’t stop following her, in fact, he quickened his pace. “Lily, that’s not what I was going to ask. I wasn’t even going to ask you out.”

She stopped, so he did too. “You…you called me Lily.” She sounded aghast.

He sighed. “Yes, I have been for the past five minutes.” He was about to add a cynical remark, but stopped himself just in time. “Yes!” He whispered.

“What?” Lily asked.

“Talking to myself. Don’t worry.”

“I’m not." A double take. "Actually, I am. What brought about this…this change?”

James perked up happily. “You noticed!” Lily raised her eyebrows. “Sorry.” He said hastily. “But I’ve changed Lily. I don’t really know why it took so long, but I have. I just wanted to let you know.” He started to walk away, since he had to get to his class.

“Wait, Potter!”

“Yes, Evans?”

“I mean…James.”

“Thought so.” He smirked.

“Don’t you do that.”

“Oops. Sorry.”

“If you didn’t want to ask me out, what did you want?”

“Well, I’m not doing so well in potions and I was hoping you could tutor me.”

“Sure James. Now, I think you should get to class.”

“Okay Evans.”

“Bye Potter.”

James turned around and ran up the walk to where Sirius was waiting. They high-fived.


Well well. This fic. was a bunch of firsts:
1.) My first challange.
2.) My first Maurader Era.
3.) My first "thrid person point of view"

I hope you enjoyed, becasue I sure did. Now that this is edited, I am probably going to add on to this. Please tell me what you think and any ideas you have for more chapters in a REVIEW! Thanks everybody!

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