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17 Things I'm Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts by HarryPotter is my LIFE
Chapter 2 : Rule #2
Rating: 15+Chapter Reviews: 15

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Rule #2. I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.

James Sirius Potter, son of famed-legend, Harry Potter, was a Sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. However, his home was located in a largely Muggle populated town; when he returned home for summer, he always made a point to visit his Muggle friends.

The previous summer, James had been introduced to the God of all movies - Star Wars.

His younger brother, Albus, as well as his younger sister, Lily, were becoming very frustrated him. They were sitting in the common room one night, studying, when Albus announced, "I’ve got to take a pee."

"May the force be with you," James said, shooting up from his seat and saluting his younger brother.

". . . Right," Albus replied, before dropping his book and heading up to the dormitories.


"Alright, James; we’re going to win this match." Leo Wood, who would one day succeed James as captain of the Gryffindor, assured his disgruntled captain.

"Right, right," James repeated. He took a deep breath. "And may the force be with us. We-sa win dis game."

Most of his teammates cast fearful looks at their captain, but charged out onto the field anyway, with excitement and vigour.

Unfortunately, Gryffindor won the game, and James’ worship of the saga, Star Wars, only increased. "It was the force!" he cried. "The force was with us!"


James Sirius was a gentleman; and when he decided to ask out a girl in his year (though, in Ravenclaw,) he knew he had to take her somewhere nice. Unfortunately, there was no Hogsmeade weekend for another month, so he decided to bring her to the kitchens, where the humble house elves would wait on them.

"Victoria, I know this might not seem to romantic, but it should be fun," James told his companion, as he tickled the pear on the portrait, and it swung open. He let Victoria slide in first before closing the portrait behind them.

Hundreds of little house elves were scurrying around the kitchen, preparing food and cleaning up.

Victoria saw this as a great opportunity to eat desserts; James saw this as great opportunity to cause mayhem.

One shy house elf timidly stepped up to the two Sixth years. "Who be you?"

James shook his head. "No, no, no," he instructed. "You must say Who-sa, are you-sa."

The house elf looked terrified and confused.

"Come on! You must say this!"

" . . . Who-sa, are you-sa?"

"Me-sa James Sirius Potter . . . Now, you’re going to say: You-sa want munchie?"

"You-sa want munchie?"

"Yeee! Me-sa wantin’ munchies and to be goin’."

Victoria looked at James, slightly afraid. Then, without another word, she left. But it didn’t matter to James, who had begun to instruct every single house elf in the ways of Jar Jar Binks the Gungan."


"Hello, Chirpy," a bright, though aging Professor McGonagall said to one of the house elves. She had just stepped into the kitchens for a midnight snack; she was craving chocolate.

"What you-sa be wantin’?"

"Excuse me?" Professor McGonagall was thrown off my the house elf’s words.

"You-sa wantin’ munchies?"

McGonagall was at a loss for words. She became even more disgruntled when a large number of house elves hurried over to assist her, and also spoke the same tongue.

The words were curiously familiar. She was sure that she had heard it somewhere before, however, she couldn’t place it. She had definitely heard it from a student . . .

And then, it clicked in her brain. There was only one student in the entire school that would have the stupidity and time to teach the entire staff of house elves some twisted, likely made-up language.

"James Sirius Potter!" McGonagall bellowed.

A/N: And of course, none of the Star Wars references were mine.

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