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Of All the Faulty Bludgers by mayday
Chapter 1 : Lassie was a dog you idiot
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Chapter 1: Lassie was a dog you idiot

Some people say that I’m obsessed. Obsessed is such a strong word. I’m more well how do you say.... enamored. Hey that’s a good word! But come on people; let’s face the facts here. This is Roger Davies we’re talking about. AKA: tall, dark, handsome, and absolutely scrumptious! My best friend Katie Bell says that my eternal affection for him is disgusting, but then I kindly remind her of another Quidditch player she quickly shuts up.

Yes Katie and I (Ruthie Sparks) both have a ginormous mother of a problem, we are both in love with famous Quidditch players.

Lets start with my issue, Roger Davies.

Ahhh Roger, every time I hear that name it’s like a choir of angels.

He is overall the perfect male specimen. Not only is he insanely attractive, but kind, smart, considerate, compassionate.... oh there are not enough adjectives in the dictionary to describe him! And to top it all off, he plays professional Quidditch.

It’s my opinion that even if a guy is not attractive at all and he plays Quidditch, he’s a stud. I mean seriously I started blushing when Ron Weasley came in the common room last night.


It’s not like he’s not attractive, it’s just my utter devotion for Roger never gives me wandering eyes. Truth be told I don’t even like the sport—at all. I only watch it for the hot guys and Katie, but that’s it. Usually I just sit next to Hermione Granger at the games and we talk about the latest book and what not. Yes, I am a complete bookworm and damn proud of it! I really don’t care what people say to me or about me, if I could marry a book I would. Well unless it was between a book and Roger, wink wink.

Do you know another thing I love about Roger, he isn’t a player. He’s only had a few serious relationships with girls (including Fleur Delacour) and was always the perfect gentleman. That’s another thing that makes us alike, I’ve only had a couple serious boyfriends. Okay that is a complete lie. I’ve never had a boyfriend unless you count George Weasley who only went out with me to make Katie jealous.

Yep when I found out in our fourth year that George had a mad crush on Katie Bell, I concocted an evil plan. George and I went out for almost a year and Katie didn’t care. Actually she was really supportive.

This left ole’ Georgie heartbroken and we broke it off knowing it was a loss cause. This unfortunately leads to my second topic matter, Oliver Wood.

Hmmm, not much to say about this fellow. Overall in my few years knowing him we’ve never gotten along. It most likely has to do with my disregard for his favorite sport or maybe my obvious lust for the opposing captain. And believe me it only got worse when I starting going out with George, Merlin knows what’s wrong with that man. Wood was always giving George the ole’ hairy eyeball and made him do extra laps at practice, but I just bit my tongue for Katie.

Ahh, but here’s the real story.....Katie Bell and Oliver Wood.

Personally, I think she should get her head examined for fancying such an oaf, but I guess he’s all right if you go for the whole highlander thing. I overall hate his Scottish brogue. It’s tray annoying. He is always walking around all superior calling me ‘little Ruthie’, I seriously hate this guy. Only one man and one man only can give me a silly/cute/affectionate nickname, come on take a guess who!

Once again getting off topic, any who back to Katie and Oliver.

Katie has always had a thing for him, (personally I think she has daddy issues) but him being her captain and them being in a relationship was completely unacceptable in his eyes, but not in hers. Yes Katie was always a bold one. One day in his seventh year (our fourth, still dating George!) her resolve snapped and she went down there and demanded to know why they couldn’t be a couple. I was there, internally laughing at the shocked expression on Wood’s face, when he turned to me with an eyebrow raised. I don’t know what he was trying to do, so I just raised an eyebrow back. Looking back at that moment I think he was trying to communicate something important to me, but at the time I didn’t read to much into it.

I never do.

Wood basically gave Katie a load of dung about him being her captain and what not. It sounded quite really fishy to me but whatever. He told her that they could be friends for now and after he graduated they would talk more..... three years later, nada. I feel bad for Katie it seems like he has a thousand excuses for not dating her. Let me do an astonishing accurate impersonation of the Scot himself.

“Katie lass (hehe), I just graduated from school I need time to adjust.”

“I just have time for a girl right now lass, I just got put on the reserves.”

“Katie lass it wouldn’t be fair to you if we dated, I would never be around.”

“Katie you should be focusing on your schoolwork.. lass not me.”

“You're too young for me Kates, wait a while.... lass.”

“Katie, I’m a selfish arrogant git who is only stringing you along because I’m a coward! I also say lass way to often!”

Blah, blah, blah—it’s all the same! Well.... maybe I made the last one up, it's true though! So now we are FINALLY in our seventh and last year at Hogwarts, booyah and Katie is still waiting around for the dope. At least I see reality! I know that there is NO way in Merlin Roger Davies and I could ever get together, but a girl can dream right? I am just happy standing from afar and lusting after him. Katie on the other hand is more of a doer (is that a word?).

But anyway that pretty much wraps up our problem, Katie is in love with a selfish git and I’m in love with someone I’ll never be with. It would seem that this is where our story should end, but no my friends its just begun!

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