Chapter 4 : The Unforgettable Note
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The Unforgettable Note
“So Dor, when’s your first date with lover boy?” Emmeline asks wryly across from me later that night at dinner. I look up and give her an meaningful look. Really, she can be too blunt sometimes. But I guess that was what I loved about her. With her mousy brown hair and almost same color eyes, she just had that look. The look where if you ever tried to lie to her, Emmeline would see right through you. She would tell you exactly how it is; very, very bluntly.
Emmeline just gives me the 'what' look with her eyes and shrugs. I turn to Dorcas sitting beside me. She just rolls her eyes casually and then looks up and sneaks a look at Sirius down the table through her wavy blonde hair. “I’m not sure. We’re supposed to talk about it later in the common room.”
I look down at Sirius and see him laughing heartily with James. I can tell because I can hear his bark like laugh over everyone. It gets annoying sometimes that it's so loud, but at other times, it gets extremely contagious. Especially when they are pranking a Slytherin. I start to find myself wondering what they are talking about. I scoff inwardly at the thought. Why should it matter? I’m losing my mind. I look back down there at them again and feel a smile tugging at my lips. Definately contagious this time.
Emmeline breaks me out of my trance. “What are you smiling about?” she asks suspicion filling her voice as she follows my faze towards the Marauders.
I look up at her and Dorcas' face. “Oh, nothing.” I try to say indifferently. For some reason I feel a blush rising in my cheeks. Like I've been caught doing something off-limits.
Dorcas looks down at her food for a moment and then looks somewhat shyly back at me. Which was weird because Dorcas is hardly ever shy. “What was he like today in potions, Madysen?”
I continue eating and picking at the ham in front of me. “Um, nice. I don’t know, he was friendly.” I didn't know how else to describe what he was like. What was I supposed to say? 'Oh, we've hated each other, well he hated me, since second year. We haven't talked since then. He was probaly just trying to be nice because of you.'
“Oh.” That was her only reply.
Looking across to Dorcas, I see it in her nervous blue eyes. The insecure look she always has about boys. She plays it off really well. She’s never really gone out with anyone. Well, neither have I, but she is always very shy and timid when it comes to boys she really likes. If you were any other person, she’d flirt your heart out, be extremely outgoing and talkative. Maybe she wouldn’t be like this if that Simon guy would not have broken her heart in fifth year. The thought of that memory makes me want to kill him. How could anyone do that to sweet and honest Dorcas? I feel like her topaz blue eyes are questioning me. Do you like him? Is he a jerk? Would he like you better than me? Of course, all of these questions are ridiculous. Dorcas doesn’t know about me and Sirius’ past. I don’t think anyone does. Not that it's much of a past...
“Anyway, I don’t think he likes me very much.” I say hurriedly.
“Why not?” Dorcas and Emmeline question at the same time. Dorcas' voice is more anxious while Emmeline is more demanding and territorial.
I shrug. “I messed up the potion.” I try to sound nonchalant. “ And we have very different personalities.” Which we did. I would describe myself as quiet and responsible, I think. Sirius was loud and reckless.
I see Dorcas cheer up a bit more and raise her shoulders. “Maybe Slughorn won’t make us keep the same partners for long. He never does.”
“Maybe.” And for some reason, my stomach dropped just a little.
Two months later...
You coming to the Quidditch game tonight? –SB
Sirius passed me a small piece of parchment from across the desk. I wait till Slughorn is turned around and open it and see his elegant script across the page. Something I could never achieve. I scribble down some words. They look like toddlers writing next to his.
Wouldn’t miss it :] you made me promise, remember? –M.A.
Just wondering if you would actually keep it. You didn’t come to the last one. -S.B.
I said I was sorry! I had a bunch of homework that night.
I sighed and tried to think of a question to change the subject. I didn't want to give him the real reason I didn't come.
What did you and Dorcas do last night? -M.A.
I smiled. That would get us far from this subject. I made sure Slughorn was turned around again before I passed the note back across the table. It would definitely be me that caught.
We went to Hogsmeade and hung out. -S.B
So why did you tell Dorcas I didn’t like you? -S.B
I turn my head and give him an incredulous look. He’s not looking at me. I stare and try to will him to look. Come on, surely he realizes that I'm trying to get his attention. He won't budge. Stupid, stubborn Quidditch player. I sigh and write back.
Ok, random man. That was like almost 2 months ago! How did that come up??-M.A.
Last night, she asked me if we were getting along now. Of course I was confused and she said you said I didn’t like you. Did I say something to make you think that? -S.B.
And it doesn't matter if it was 2 months ago.
No, you didn't. You know how Docas gets sometimes. I was just reassuring her. -M.A.
Reassuring her about what? It's not your job to manage Dorcas's life. -S.B.
I turned and saw him still looking forward. His steel grey eyes were focused on Slughorn. Something that happened once in a lifetime. I found a new piece of spare parchment and scribbled back to him, ignoing his question and accusation. Dorcas was fragile and her heart was soft. Me, on the other hand, had seen too much lies and hate. I could handle pain.
Ugh, are you mad now?
I see him scribble “no” just a little too hard before the bell.
“Aren’t Quidditch games amazing?” Dorcas squealed as we walked toward the field for the second Quidditch game of the season. My stomach turned painfully in anticipation.
“Yes, amazing.” Lily muttered darkly. I gave out a little laugh but stifled it when I saw her glare. Those green eyes are a weapon. When James had found out that Lily was coming to the game, he had serenaded her with flowers.
Dorcas happily ran out in front of us. “Look,” she turned around to show us that 'BLACK 27' was written on the back of her jacket.
Lily sighed and gave her a helpless look. “Dor, did you really put that on there?”
“Yes, I did.” She smileed triumphantly. Dorcas smile suddenly faded and was replaced with a mischevious smirk. “Why? Did you want me to make you one for Potter?”
That certainly earned her a hard smack from Lily, who started muttering something unitelligiable underneath her breath as we approached the stands. I could hear Dorcas say, 'C'mon! We can double date!'
“I’ve never been to a Quidditch game before.” I finally admit to them, trying to stop their arguing.
Dorcas looked at me with her mouth agape. Even Lily looked shocked. “Never?” they both asked in unison.
I shook my head. Ironic, the reason I never went to one is the reason I’m going now. Sirius Black. Stupid promise….
I watched Sirius doing our potion. I was relieved when I found out that he was almost as good in Potions as Lily. He sometimes got frustrated when I would go too slow putting in the ingredients so he would just take over.
"Will you hand me the next ingredient?" He asked squinting at the potion.
I nod, hand him the flies, and absentmindedly watch him continue to brew.
"There's a Quidditch game tomorrow." Sirius stated conversationally. He glanced up at me with his steel, grey eyes. Impulsively, I started to wonder what they look like upclose. Gah! Stupid. I don't care what they look like. I get intrigued at the weirdest things.
I shrugged. "Ok."
Sirius started to look a little confused by my lack of enthusiasm. "So are you going to come?"
I looked down and continued to copy the notes off the board. "Probably not."
"Well, why not?" He looked a little horrified. I laughed mentally. Boys and Quidditch...
"I have better things to do." I'm suprised about how indingant I sound. For some reason, I always find I have to argue my points and explain my reasons to Sirius. Not that he asks, I just do. Like I want him to understand.
Sirius turned to face me now. With a smile playing at his lips, he said dramatically, "Nothing is better than coming to a Quidditch game!"
I scoffed and gave him a speculative glance . "And why is that?"
"One: it's the best sport in the world." He said proudly. "And two: you get to watch..." Sirius raisid up in his seat arrogantly. "mwah."
"Oh, let me jump with joy and head out to the field right now." I retorted as I rolled my eyes.
"That's exactly what you should be doing."
I gave him a 'yeah right' look and turned back to my notes.
"So, are you going to come?" He asked quietly a couple of minutes later.
I put my quill down and turned to him incrediously. "Didn't we just go over this?"
"I know, I know, you have better things to. But," Sirius stopped me when I tried to open my mouth, "come just this once and you will be amazed."
"Sirius-" I said, trying to explain with the right words exactly why I didn't want to come.
"Promise." He cut me off and gave me a fierce look with his beautfiul eyes. I mentally scold myself for having a thing for eyes. Not that I care that his eyes are beautiful....
I finally caved. "I guess I could go with Dorcas..."
Sirius smiled triumphantly. "Excellent."
Of course, I didn't go. I was suprised how much Sirius was disappointed that I didn't come. He didn't let it on that he was, but I could tell. Mainly because he barely talked to me that next potions lesson. I felt terrible. Me and my conscious. I had to go and promise unconditionally that I would come to the next one. Potions was getting better; I didn't hate Sirius as much, which was a good thing. He had even stopped trying to take over the potion when I was too slow.
I repressed a sigh and continued to follow Dorcas.
When we had finally hiked our way the stairs of the stands, Dorcas made us get the very front row. I tried to look pleased for her, but I could tell it's failed miserably. Lucky Emmeline wasn't around. I finally bit my lip and looked at Lily. She was sitting down with her arms crossed. She loves watching Quidditch, maybe just not on the front row when James Potter is playing.
“For Gryffindor, Chasers Cody Easterling and James Potter!” Jared Hunter called from the announcer stand as the players from Gryffindor and Hufflepuff flew in, “Keeper Nickolas Johnson, Beaters Tim Bones and Sirius Black, and Seeker Will Wood!”
By the time Jared is through announcing, I’m covering my ears from Dorcas’ bloodcurdling scream for Sirius. Lily lightly hit Dorcas on her arm and tried to pull her down to her level.
“Did we have to sit in the very front?” Lily asked strained.
Dorcas gave her an incredulous look. “Yes!”
Lily let out a 'hmph' and tried not to look too interested when the game finally started.
My mind went completely elsewhere throughout the whole game. It was running with thoughts like ‘what if that was me?’ and ‘what is like up there?’ Stupid questions because I don’t even give a rip about Quidditch anymore. Or flying. So why are all these memories coming back now? I felt some fierce longing to be up there flying. I pushed it all down, deciding that it’s just one of those things. One of those experiences I wish I would’ve had. Everyone has those, right? When I heard the people around me clapping and Dorcas screaming furiously, I did the same as well. I admit though, I had no clue what is going on in this game. I must have looked like an idiot, clapping and cheering at least 10 seconds behind everyone else.
“Hey, I think I’m gonna go.” I yelled to Dorcas and Lily, trying to be heard over Jared’s unusually loud commenting.
Dorcas snaped around with a horrified expression, taking her eyes off the game for the first time. “Why? It’s almost over!”
I hurried to make up an excuse. “I just… I just need some air. Too many people.” I waved my hand in front of my face, feigning hotness. I hoped it worked.
“Ok.” Dorcas smiled encouragingly but Lily still gave me an inquisitive look. Once again, I'm extremely glad Em isn't here. Where is she anyway? I started to turn to the stairs but Dorcas grabbed my arm swiftly.
“Make sure you’re in time for the party in the common room, though.”
I looked back at her and nodded, relieved. I had thought she had seen through me. But why would she though? I had never told her. She let go and smiled sweetly again before going back cheering for Sirius.
Party in the common room? I guess that means we were winning… I practically run down the steps to get out of the stadium. Gah, what is wrong with me? I stand there idiotically for a few moments before deciding where to go. Where could I go where know one would be? The lake. I head swiftly down there while more cheers loudly erupt from the stadium.
A/N: I'm sorry it's short but i was trying to get a set up for the next chapter. I hope you liked it! :) please review!!
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