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Into Dust by Insomnias Worst Nightmare
Chapter 9 : In The Sun
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 11

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Hello everyone!
Firstly I’d like to thank everyone who has reviewed my story and favorited it! You don’t know how great it feels to know people like what I’m writing. Love you all!
However loads of people seem to read the story, I don’t get that many reviews per chapter! I know that leaving a review can sometimes be a grind but it really helps me! So, please, REVIEW!
Cyber cookies for anyone who reviews, and you know you just love cookies!
Anyhoo, this chapter is in Lily’s POV of where she goes to look for Bella. Its not very long, but I promise to make up for it in the next chapter, where we’ll get back to Bella’s POV. I find it so much easier to write from the view of my own character because I created her, and I don’t have to stick to the books or whatever! And Bella is always fun to write because she’s so conflicted. I like me some conflict!
And I almost forgot, I own nothing. Nada. Zilch. I wish I owned Harry Potter, because then I’d be rich and adored by millions. When in reality I’m poor and am adored by no one.

“It is not good to see people who have been pretending strength all their lives to lose it even for a minute.”
Lillian Hellman

I don’t know why I wanted to help Isabella. I suppose I saw her as a kindred spirit of sorts. So much is expected of her, and she’s buckling under the pressure.

I can relate. Everyone looks at me and thinks I’m little miss perfect, straight-O student, goody-two-shoes. My parents have certain expectations, the professors have certain expectations, even the students expect certain things from me. I see Isabella, and I see someone in somewhat similar circumstances.

She’s supposed to be the perfect pureblood daughter, a cold, unapproachable beauty.

I see the mask. And I see it slipping. I see her fear, I see her weakness.

Which is why I want to help her.

I know I can’t really compare my problems to hers. But I want to help her. I want to be her friend.

I don’t have many friends to be honest. I mean, I’m well liked, but no one I’m really close to. I see Bella as a potential friend.

Which is why I am currently traipsing through the dungeons searching for her. I’d asked around and apparently she’d been seen going down to the dungeons.

I walked silently, slightly fearful of being found down here by any malicious slytherins.

That was when I heard her. Shallow, quick, labored breaths, forced between deep sobs.

I rounded the corner to find Isabella sitting on the cold floor, her legs folded beneath her, leaning back against the wall, her eyes tightly closed. Her fists clenched so tightly that her knuckles were deathly white, and her cheeks were plastered with the trails of her fallen tears.

“Isabella?” I said quietly.

Her eyes snapped open, filled with fear. The fear receded when she realised it was me, but the panic was still evident.

And shame. She felt ashamed.

She wiped at her eyes furiously, her breathing still unpredictable. I stepped forward and put my hand out silently. She looked at it warily, before placing hers in mine, and then I pulled her up. She leant back against the wall, closing her eyes and breathing deeply.

“I’d ask if you were ok, but its obvious you’re not.” I said quietly.

She smiled sardonically, but remained silent, her eyes still closed. Her fists remained clenched, pushed against the cold stone wall for support, as she tried to get a hold of her emotions.

“I came looking for you.” I said, “I was worried.”

Her eyes opened again. She looked confused.

“You shouldn’t be worried about me.” She said, her voice no more than a whisper.

I shrugged, “I can’t help it.”

“You’re too nice, Lily. I don’t deserve this.”

This moment of weakness from someone who seemed so strong was... worrying. I’d only known her for a couple of days, but I’ve always been good at getting a good read on people quickly. Isabella was one of those people who was strong because they had to be. Someone who hid their emotions, and projected a cold exterior in order to protect themselves. To see someone like that lose it, to see the strength crumble is a frightening prospect.

“Whether you deserve my help or not, it doesn’t matter. I’m going to help you anyway.”

She looked at me questioningly, biting her lip lightly.

“You don’t have to tell me what happened.” I said quickly.

I didn’t want to push her. Our ‘friendship’ (if that is what this is, or will become), was new, fragile, and pushing her would only cause her to retreat further into herself. Sometimes having a psychiatrist for a mother comes in handy I suppose.

“I just... If you want to... I’m here, and if you don’t... I’m still here.” I frowned, “Does that make sense?”

“Slightly.” She said. She then straightened up, patting down her skirt, and shirt, and then her hair.
“I’m rather glad I didn’t wear mascara this morning. We should leave this place... The smell is getting to me.”

Her composure was back. She stood straight, her head held high, her lips set in a thin line.

All weakness hidden under her usual mask of cold strength.

We walked in relative silence back to the common room. Every now and again she would hiccup back a sob, or her breathing would become slightly erratic again.

Momentary slips.

As we entered the common room I finally plucked up the courage to ask, “Are you sure you’re ok? I mean... maybe I should take you to the hospital wing.”

She stopped, “I’m fine Lily.” She snapped, her emotions bumbling up.

“No need to get snappy at me. I’m only trying to help.”
I may be nice. But I’m not the pushover everyone seems to think I am.

She grimaced, “I know. I’m sorry. Its just been a... stressful day.”

I wanted to ask what had been stressful. But I knew I’d have to do it as tactfully, and subtly as possible, or she’d shut down, hide behind the steel walls guarding her from unwanted emotions.

“I can tell. Well, how about we go upstairs and you can tell me all about it. I think I have some muggle chocolate.”

“I’ve never had muggle chocolate before.” She mused, “I feel awfully rebellious.”

I couldn’t help laughing, “This is your rebellion? Muggle chocolate?”

“Well, and the fact that my only friend in the world is a muggle-born. And oh yeh, I was placed in the enemy house. But other than that, yes, muggle chocolate is my rebellion.”

Her friend. I was her friend?

“I’m your friend then?” I asked, trying not to sound too hopeful.

“I haven’t been that much of a bitch have I?” She asked, biting her lip again.
A nervous habit, I realised.

“Oh no, I just thought... well...sorry.” I played nervously with my hands, looking down.

What had I thought really? I didn’t know exactly.

“No worries. I know I can be... cold sometimes.”

She stared at me, her eyes filled with confusion. It looked like she debating something, her eyes darting to my face and then away again. She fidgeted, twisting her fingers together anxiously.

“Thank you Lily.” She finally said, her tone filled with sincerity.

“No need to thank me.” I grinned, “I’m just glad I can help in the rebellion. I think I have some other items of muggle contraband too!”

She smiled, her red eyes sparkling.

I felt someone watching us. I turned, and grimaced, Potter and his friends were looking over. Sirius had his eyes trained on Isabella, a strange, indescribable look on his face.

My eyes darted to Potter, and he had the audacity to wink at me! I rolled my eyes.

Stupid boy! Thinking he can seduce me, a young man needs more than good looks, charm, and intelligence to seduce me...

Wait. Good looks, charm, intelligence?

What else does a man need to have?

I frowned to myself. Realization dawning on me.

In theory James Potter was quite the catch.

I mentally slapped myself. You forgot arrogant, and pig-headed Lily, I scolded.

They outweigh the positives every time... I think. I hope. Oh damn!

I physically shook myself and turned back to Bella, “Shall we go upstairs?”

Her gaze flickered back to mine, and she silently nodded, before turning and walking up the stairs. She walked, again, with her head held high, with as much confidence as a runway model.

She didn’t realize that Sirius watched her every step of the way.

So there you go. I actually liked writing in Lily's POV more than I thought I would. I might write another chapter from her view later on in the story, what do ya think?
Anyhoo, hoped you enjoyed this one!

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