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Chapter 13 : ANARCHY!
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“Oh, sweetie, what happened?”
The girls immediately surrounded me, offering hugs and words of comfort. I guess it’s the maternal instincts kicking in. I mean, no offense, but most blokes are oblivious when it comes to these kinds of things. Take Marty, for example. I burst into tears and what does he do? He stares at me with a confused look plastered upon his speckled mug. I can’t blame him, it’s just his nature. But if you are in severe need of a hug, go and find one of your female friends…immediately. The only guys I could really find comfort in are…
The hysterics started up again.
“Alright, hon,” Ellie said, grabbing my hands, “give us a name to pass on to the Marauders. Whoever upset you like this will soon regret it.”
I laughed a little. “Well, that might be a little hard to accomplish, seeing as Sirius is a Marauder.”
LEA gave each other a knowing glance, and then collectively glared at the boy who had just made his way outside. Did I mention how much I love these three? I looked over and saw him storm over to James and Remus, taking a seat between them. The two looked as if they had been hit in the head by the Whomping Willow, turning to look questioningly me and then back to Sirius again. This is the first time any of us really fought, and I absolutely hate it.
After one last group glare, Ellie turned back to me. “What did he do?”
Alright, here it goes:
“Well, after you three left, I took my shower, like I said I would, but then I got out and saw that I had forgotten towels. So I went to grab my wand and summon some, but it was also missing. I threw on Elle’s robe and tore our room apart with no such luck, and then I went to the boy’s dorm to see if I had left it there. I ended up pushing him on the ground and then he chased me down the stairs and tackled me. Then we were going to come meet you guys, but on the way I tripped and fell, and then Colin fell on top of me. We talked for a bit and then before he left he kissed my hand and Sirius looked like he was about to explode. Then he was all ‘I don’t want you to talk to him.’ So I was like ‘You have no right!’ And he said ‘I’m only trying to help you!” And I was all ‘See you later!” And I stormed out here, hurt my wrists, and sat down and cried! There!”
They stared at me in silence. Did I do something wrong? Have I grown a second head?
“Come again?” Marty asked abruptly.
“Marty!” Alex yelled, slapping his arm. “Could you at least try and be a little sensitive?”
“What? Are you telling me that you understood any of that abnormally high pitched gibberish?”
She hit him again.
“OW! Stop doing that!”
“Now you listen to me, Martin.” Alex whispered sternly, grabbing Marty by his shirt. “Addie has just had a row with one of her best mates, and she’s just a tiny bit upset right now. So, I think she’d really appreciate it if you were a little more understanding.”
“Alright, alright. Calm down, Love.”
Both Alex and Marty turned a bright shade of red. This was the first time he had ever called her ‘Love’ or any affectionate name, for that matter.
“Well,” Lily announced, clasping her hands together, “I think now is as good a time as any to head to the kitchen. Some seri… I mean, some major chocolate is in order.”
Marty stood up to come with us but Alex stopped him.
“Oh no, Marty. The last thing this poor girl needs is another one of your stupid comments. She’s gone through enough as it is.”
“Why don’t you use the time wisely and work on your Arithmancy Essay. Then I’ll go over it with you later.”
“LATER, Marty.” She hissed.
“We need some chocolate! NOW!”
The house elves were quick to follow Ellie’s demands and soon came back with ice cream, cakes, candy, and all the other wallowing essentials. They even offered to take it to our dorm for us. Great service, these elves. I’d tip them, but then they’d probably be insulted.
Lily thanked the creatures and, after another loud slam of the portrait door, we left the kitchens and began making our way to Gryffindor Tower. LEA tried, unsuccessfully, to cheer me up on the way. First Alex and Ellie sang an, err, interesting rendition of The Candy Man, paired with an equally as interesting dance. Lily also tried to lighten the mood and organized all the first years around us to do The Time Warp. On any other day, I would have loved to see eleven year olds do a Rocky Horror number, but right now, all I want to do is lie down with a tub of ice cream.
When we finally opened the door to our room, I saw that not only did Applesauce and Horseradish (I gave all the house elves new names………….mostly herbs, sauces, and side dishes.) arrange all of our treats on a long buffet table by the window, they cleaned up the horrible mess that I made, making it possible to walk from one end of the room to the other. I threw myself on my bed and got to work on a tub of choco-chocochip.
Hello there little tub of deliciousness. You’re in need of a name, now aren’t you? Austin? Marley? Lola? Yes, definitely Lola. What a nice name. I wish my name was Lola.
“Looooooooola. L-O-L-A, Lola. Lalalala-Lola. Dun na na dun na na dun na na!”
“Well, at least she’s singing again.” Alex joked. “That’s always a good sign.”
I threw my pillow at her.
“Well, I think the sadness has passed.” I laughed, wiping the left over tears from my eyes. “I’ve moved on to the anger stage.”
“So now do you want to explain to us again what that boy did that made you so angry?” Lily asked, sitting herself on my bed. “You were a bit frazzled earlier, and I couldn’t understand a word you said.”
“Alright, but I might start yelling.” I warned them.
“We won’t hold you responsible for the volume of your voice,” Alex replied, “just tell us what happened.”
“And you might want to explain your choice of clothing.” Ellie added, gesturing to Sirius’ jeans (which I had shrunk down to my size earlier.)
“I’ll just start from the beginning, then. Okay, so after you three left, I took my shower, just like I said. When I finished, I saw that not only did I forget to grabs towels, but that my wand was nowhere to be seen. I searched everywhere, and then went to go look in the boys’ dorm, thinking I might have left it there at some point.”
“Wait, did you wrap a sheet around you or something? Because I know you’re this free spirit, and all, but I’d draw the line at walking around naked.”
“I was wearing your robe, Ellie. Blimey, is this what you think of me? So as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted by Miss Verez, here, I saw Sirius and he threw me these clothes so that I wasn’t walking around in the buff. I tore their room apart and, long story short, he finally summoned my wand and we started walking out to you guys.”
“Is this where Colin comes in?” Lily interrupted. “I heard you mention him before. And something about a kiss. Merlin, did he KISS you?! Addie, what…”
“NO, Lily, he didn’t kiss….well, sort of, but I’m getting to that. Where was I? Oh right, so we were walking and then I, because you know how graceful I am, tripped and fell right in the middle of the corridor. THEN, Colin fell on top of me, and he helped me up and kissed me ON THE HAND, Lily, on the hand and said goodbye. Then Sirius looked like he was about to explode, and get this, he basically ordered me to never speak to Colin again!”
“He didn’t! That prat!”
“I know, so then I yelled at him and he said that he was only ‘trying to help me.’ So, of course, I told him that I was sick of his shenanigans left.”
“I can’t believe him!” Alex yelled.
“He just went too far.” Ellie agreed.
“He loves you.”
“I know! Wait, WHAT?!”
“Come on Addie, I’ve only seen you two together for a week, and I can already tell.” Lily explained. “I mean, I’m not justifying what he said, but I understand why he said it.”
“She’s right, hun.” Ellie added. “He was probably too caught up in the moment to realize what he was actually saying.”
Not this again. Sirius is my best mate, with whom I am extremely vexed. Ugh! I can’t believe him; I cannot believe him! Who is he to say that I’m not allowed to talk to Colin?! Colin’s a great guy, and I enjoy talking to him! I am just so……ugh! But now is not the time to express my anger towards the boy. It’s time to prove a point.
“Alright you three, I’m going to spell this out quite clearly: Sirius Black does not like me! And even if he did, we’re ‘quarrelling’ now, so it doesn’t matter.”
They all gave me a look that said something along the lines of “Yeah, yeah, Adrianne. Say whatever you like, because we know that he’s in love with you and that you’ll realize it sooner or later. So keep on denying it, but we know that we’re right.” But they aren’t. Rest assured, they aren’t.
“Regardless,” Lily said, a knowing smile across her face, “I think this calls for some passive aggressive revenge, don’t you?”
Revenge. Oh, that boy will be sorry. Muahahahahahahaha!
“Muahahahahahahahahaha!” I laughed.
“Muahahahahahahahahaha!” LEA joined in.
We spent the rest night plotting revenge, and after countless cookies and various other distractions, we finally came up with something. The plan was simple, like my little cousin’s turtle, Cornelius. Though unlike Cornelius, this plan might actually stop eating grapes, get up off its bum, and make it through the obstacle course we spent hours putting together!
“Beastly little turtle.” I muttered.
“We’re just going to ignore that little outburst, dear,” Alex commented, fixing her hair in the mirror, “but if you want this plan to work you’re going to have to speed it up.”
Oh yes, the plan! The brilliantly vindictively evil plan! It’s true genius if you ask me. You see, after the massive primping is over, we girls are going to strut down to the Great Hall where some serious flirting with the Irish is going to take place. Oooh, it’s fun to be evil! Especially during breakfast.
“Addie, come hither.” Lily called from the bathroom. “I want to fix your makeup.”
“What do you mean ‘fix’ it?” I yelled back. “I think I look fabulous!”
“If by ‘fabulous’ you mean ‘outstandingly clown-like’ then yes. You look very, very fabulous.”
Hmph. Just because I’m not a skilled make-up artist doesn’t mean she has to lower my self-esteem. Besides, I think Bubblegum Pop #42 is a wonderful shade of lip color.
“Sticks and stones, Lily, sticks and stones.”
I entered the bathroom and was hit with a barrage of scents. Lily then sat me down and proceeded to work her magic. That’s funny because she literally was using ‘magic.’
“Don’t you love puns, Lil… WHAT in the name of Jerry Garcia is that demonic looking apparatus?!”
Lily had pulled out a shiny, metal, clippy, cutty, thing and was directing it toward my eyes.
“It’s an eyelash curler.” She laughed. “I have found out, through past experiences, that spells do not work as well as this. Now shut that machine of yours that you call a mouth and let me work.”
“ANARCHY!” I yelled, running out of the room.
Several body-binding spells later, Lily was curling the hell out of my poor defenseless eyelashes. First she steals my soap and now this? Mark my words, I will have vengeance.
“Stop rubbing!” Lily hissed. “You’re going to smudge!”
“Well, I’m sorry, but my eyes are burning with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns at the moment, and I’m trying my darnedest to avoid smudging, but sometimes you’ve just got to rub!”
We were in the process of navigating the stair-jungle when I began to feel this strange tingling sensation in my eyes. The tingling then turned into a slight itch, and now my eyes are burning like there’s no tomorrow! I don’t know what that girl did to me, but something’s not right.
“Ssshhhhh,” Alex whispered, “wait right here.”
She tip-toed over to the door and peaked in, surveying the Great Hall. Then she turned back and signaled for us to join her.
“Okay,” she whispered to us, “the Marauders are seated at their usual spot, and Mr. Douglass is not yet present. And what is that noise?”
We turned around to see Ellie fast asleep and snoring quit loudly, while she was standing up, mind you.
“Bloody hell, Eloise!” Alex hissed, shaking Ellie awake. “I know it’s early, but we’ve got an important task at hand!”
“Damn you,” she yawned, stretching her arms above her head, “damn you all to hell.”
We walked past the boys and took our seats at the other end of the Gryffindor table. I was about to load my plate with my usual chocolate-chip pancakes, but they were nowhere in sight! What happened? Surely, Salsa Verde didn’t forget! I mean, that elf is my best elf mate! I don’t understand! Oh Merlin, I’m hyperventilating! AND MY EYES ARE STILL BURNING LIKE HELL!
“Calm down, Addie,” Alex said calmly, taking her fair share of bacon, “we’re not in our normal seats. If you want your pancakes, you’re going to have to get up and get them.”
“And use my legs like some sucker? I think not. Accio…”
“NO!” LEA, and every other person around me yelled.
The kid sitting next to me snatched the wand out of my hand. “As a Gryffindor prefect, I am morally obligated to prevent harm from coming to our students, as well as to prevent damage to school property. And you summoning food across the table will most likely bring about both!”
I looked to my right.“IGGY! How are you, Iggy? It’s just been ever so long!”
He cringed at the sound of his nick name and yelled something about his name being something else, but before I could argue the benefits of having such an excellent name, Lily elbowed me in my side and directed my attention to the entrance hall.
“Hey Colin!” I waved.
He waved back and sauntered over, greeting me with a friendly hug. I would be enjoying this much more if my eyes weren’t burning.
“How are you, Love? Feeling better from that right nasty spill yesterday?”
“Oh, I’m feeling much better now,” I laughed, resisting the urge to rub my burning, itchy eyes, “though, I’m still a bit sore. Probably because some Ravenclaw Quidditch star fell on top of me. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to walk straight again.”
“I am sorry about that.” he chuckled, “Listen, what are you doing today? ‘Cause I was wondering if you’d like to hang out. I’ll prove to you that I’m not that bad a bloke.”
“Hmmmmmm, I don’t know. My day is pretty tight, as it is.” I said sarcastically. “But, I’ll see if I can squeeze you in for a minute or two.”
“Alright, well I’ll be heading outside after breakfast if you can make time in your busy schedule to join me.”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
I couldn’t hold it in any more. I had to rub my eyes, they were just so itchy! And I must have done it quite vigorously because Colin gave me a look that said Merlin, there is something wrong with this girl. I can’t believe I just asked an escaped mental patient to hang out for the rest of the day.
“Errr, are you okay, Addie? Your eyes do look really red.”
“I’m fine. Just dandy, really!”
Is it hot in here? Because I am sweating profusely right now. AND SWEET BABY JAMES I AM SO BLOODY ITCHY!
“No, you really look ill.” He put his hand on my forehead. “And you’re so hot.”
“Colin, take it easy!” I joked. “I appreciate the compliments and all…”
“Come on, I’m taking you to the Hospital Wing.”
He took my hand and started walking me to what I assume was the Hospital Wing, but something, or should I say someone stepped in front of us.
“Hold it right there, Douglass. I’ll take it from here.”
Silly me. Did I think that I would actually be able to spend time with a boy? What was I thinking? No matter where I go, a Marauder will always find me and then exterminate all of the males within a ten meter perimeter.
“I don’t think so.” Colin said sternly. “I want to make sure Addie gets to the Hospital Wing.”
“And you can rest assured; I’ll get her there safe and sound. Now run along to your Ravenclaw buddies. They look so lost without their mother hen.”
I laughed…..out loud apparently, because they both turned their attention to me. What, that was funny!
“It’s alright Colin,” I assured him before he could argue even more, “go and have some breakfast. I’ll meet up with you later.”
“Fine,” he sighed, “but if you’re not out in an hour, I’m coming to check on you.”
“It’s a date.” I laughed before the other boy steered me away.
We walked silently for a bit, hand in hand. The Marauder seemed to be deep in thought. I wonder what he’s thinking about. Well, what would a boy like him think about? Snails? No, why would anyone ever think about snails? Unless you have a snail infestation at your house. Then I think you’d spend quite a lot of your time thinking about snails: how do I get rid of the snails?, should I hire someone to get rid of the snails for me?, how much would it cost to hire someone to get rid of the snails?, my eyes are burning, why on earth do I have an infestation of snails, in the first place?, of all household pests, why did the snails choose my house to infest?, should I take it as a compliment that they choose my house?, my eyes are still burning, why not the Rogers’ family next-door?, what’s so good about my house that the snails chose it over the Rogers’?, do they have a snail infestation, as well?, if so, how do they plan on getting rid of their snails?, do they choose to keep their snails as pets?, holy hell my eyes are burning, what would one name a snail?, is Jeffery too…
“What, what? I’m listening.” I yelled back, still itching my eyes. “There’s no need to yell, mate.”
“I wasn’t yelling the first twenty or so times I called your name, Love, but you were in your ‘happy place.’”
Ah, yes, my happy place. I tend to travel there quite often, really. Once you go there, you don’t want to come back. Oh, it’s a wonderful land of chocolate waterfalls surrounded by luscious strawberry fields that stretch as far as the eye can see.
“Let me take you down…”
“Yes, yes, Strawberry Fields Forever. Now back to my original question: why exactly am I taking you to the Hospital Wing?”
“I can’t feel my left arm, I’ve got two broken ribs, and possibly a minor concussion. And this all could have been avoided if I didn’t have to be so gosh darn noble.” I answered, being careful to raise my right hand to my forehead and not my left.
“Was the kitten caught in a tree, or…?”
“Oh no, she was caught in a burning church.”
He rolled his eyes and smiled. “So what’s the real reason?”
“I’m not really sure.” I replied. “All I know is that I’m sweating profusely, I think I’m breaking out in hives, and my eyes burn so much that I can’t even think of a witty metaphor to emphasize the fact that my eyes are burning. Well, actually, it would be a simile because I would have used the word ‘like’ in my description.”
“Those are all substantial reasons,” he laughed, “and kudos to you for your knowledge of figurative language.”
“I am quite knowledgeable when it comes to the literary arts, now squat!” I ordered.
“Oh, fine.” He said, lifting me up onto his back. “But only because you’re diseased.”
“I am not diseased! I just have a bit of a cold, is all.”
“Keep telling yourself that, Love.”
I glared at him, even though he couldn’t see me. “But anyway, are you familiar with the story of Hamlet?”
“I am, indeed.”
“Is that so?”
“Well, I wrote it.”
“Did you now?” he joked. “Because I was under the impression that someone by the name of William Shakespeare wrote that particular play.”
“Nope. It was all me. Old Billy just gets all the credit.”
“That’s quite an accomplishment.”
“Oh, that’s nothin’.” I proclaimed. “I also came up with the phrase ‘For your dining and dancing pleasure’ and I invented the semicolon, among other marks of punctuation.”
He let out a hearty laugh. “Addie, you are truly one of a kind.”
“As are you, Remus, as are you.”
We made it to the hospital wing in record time and I hopped right on to Leroy, my favorite bed. He’s the fifth one from the left, facing south, and he’s provided me with much comfort over the past five years. Ah yes, Leroy, we meet again. It’s been far too long for my taste. But fear not, my fluffy, feathery friend, for we have plenty of time to catch up.
The Pomster gave me the quick look over and said that I had somewhat of an allergic reaction to whatever Lily had put on my face. (Boy, will that girl be sorry!) She went back to her supply room and whipped up a series of repulsive looking potions for me to gobble down. This is why I don’t like coming to the hospital wing. Whether you have a broken tail bone or your hair turned purple, you’ll have to guzzle down something disgusting. Because it’s common knowledge that good ol’ Poppy’s solution to every ailment is a nauseating, revolting slime of a potion. But anyway, I held my nose and downed the glob and I was feeling better within seconds.
I would have just gotten up and left, but that would have been the sensible thing to do. As you all know, the cardinal rule of the Pomster is as follows: no student, teacher, creature, staff member, poltergeist, ghostly being, plant, fungus, or anything that enters the hospital wing is discharged until they are completely cured for 24 hours. It makes no sense, I know, but that’s how the cookie crumbles. Speaking of which…
“Remus!” I ordered, clapping my hands twice. “Fetch me a cookie!”
Remus was lounging on a chair next to me with his feet resting on the edge of my bed. He seemed to be, yet again, deep in thought. Golly, that boy sure does use his noggin. I wish I knew what he was thinking. I can tell you one thing, it’s probably not about snails. That is unless he does have an infestation of snails, then he…
“Here.” He said, handing me a cookie.”
“How did you get that?” I asked, puzzled. One minute I was demanding cookies, and a second later, he had a cookie! I know he’s good, but no one is that good. Unless he just keeps a stash of cookies in his pocket at all times. You know that’s not such a bad idea. That way, whenever I felt a sudden cookie craving, ta-da, I’ve got one right here! First I just need to…
“I’m just amazing, aren’t I?” he laughed, leaning back into his chair again.
“Oh yes, Remus, you truly are the most remarkable boy I know. And stop interrupting my thoughts!”
I sat back and enjoyed my cookie; chocolate, of course. I needed something to satisfy my chocolate craving, seeing as I didn’t get to enjoy my chocolate-chip pancakes like I normally do. And none of this would have happened if it weren’t for stupid Sirius and his stupid self.
“Stupid Sirius.” I muttered.
“Speaking of Sirius,” Remus exclaimed, “what in the name of Merlin’s pants happened between you two?”
Oh goody, this is the last thing I want to talk about.
“Didn’t he tell you, already?” I asked, my mouth full of sweet, sweet chocolate.
“I know what Sirius thinks happened. Now I want to hear your side of the story.”
Oh, Remus. Always the neutral one, always just and fair. If we were Europe, he’d be Switzerland. That’s what makes us Marauders such great friends: we’re all extremely different. But I can’t describe all of our traits, personalities, and the countries we embody right now! I have a story to tell!
“All right, Moony.” I sighed. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
I told the boy my story, from the shower to the tears. By the time my epic tale was finished, I found myself out of bed and stomping back and forth around the room. Remus, being the kind, understanding person that he is, never told me to calm down. Come to think of it, he never interrupted me at all. He simply nodded in agreement and listened to every syllable of every word that spewed out from my black hole of a mouth. He should be a psychiatrist, that one.
Remus sat quietly in his chair; his feet still perched on Leroy. He looked like he was trying to make some sense of it all. I can’t blame him, I mean, it was a very detailed sequence of events.
“I’ll give you some time to take it all in.”
Well, now I have plenty of time for my mind to wander. Remus is one of those “thinker” types. You know the statue of the bloke with his head resting on his fist, thinking? I don’t remember the name of it, but that, my friend, is Remus Lupin in a nutshell. Actually, in stone or whatever it was made of. You know, I never noticed how white the hospital wing is. It’s quite eerie, actually. Nothing should be this clean. Even the air is unnaturally clean! Golly gee, I think I’m going into a cleanliness-induced coma! Come on, Addie, you can get through this. Just breathe, girl, breathe. In and out, in and out, in and out, okay I’m good. What’s today, September 7th, right? Yes, it’s a Sunday. Oh, peanuts! That means tomorrow is another Monday! I do detest Mondays. But I love the Mamas and the Papas! So does Mom. I have to write to her! I can’t believe I forgot! I’ll do that right now, if only I had some parchment around.
“Okay,” Remus said, massaging his temples, “I can understand why you’re angry…”
“Damn straight!” I interrupted.
“…but I can also understand why Sirius said those things.”
“I sure as hell can’t”
“Addie, I think of you as my sister; James and Sirius do, too. And the last thing we want is for you to get hurt…”
“You’re saying this as I’m lying in the hospital wing, mind you.”
“…especially by some bloke. Guys are after one thing in this world. Trust me, I know.”
“Listen Remus, can we talk about the birds and the bees some other time?” I interrupted again. “I get it. You’re only trying to protect me, and I love you for it. Just, sometimes you three can take it a little too far. And you lot may not think so, but I can take care of myself.”
Remus put his hands up defensively. “Hey, no argument there. The point is, we’re only trying to help you, and I know we can get out of control, but it’s only because we love you.”
“Wow, Remus.” I wiped a fake tear out of my eye. “That was beautiful.”
“Aw, shut it.” He laughed. “So do you think you can forgive Sirius soon?”
“I can forgive him when he comes to apologize to me. Until then…”
There was a knock at the door.
“Well,” Remus exclaimed, standing up, “it looks like it’s time for me to bid you adieu. I’ll see you soon, Love.”
As the one boy walked out of the room, another walked in. He came and sat down next to me, just as Remus did.
I pulled myself to a sitting position. “Hello Sirius.”
A/N: I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!! I know, it’s been forever. But (excuse time) what with school work and exams coming up, I’ve had almost no free time. On a happier, yet equally as time consuming note, I just got a new puppy!!! She’s a little black lab named Lucy and she’ll be two months old on the 6th of May! But, of course, I think I might be allergic to dogs, now. Just my luck, right?
So anyway, Chapter 13!!! Yay!!! I made this one even longer! My word count says 4,876 words, so that makes up for the wait a little. Well……..how was it? It’s 1:32 AM right now and I have to wake up in about four hours, but I’m not going to sleep until this chapter has been added successfully. As always, I would love to hear what you wonderful people think. Questions, comments, concerns, anything else you want to write in that adorable looking box right there, go ahead! Let out your inner crazy, I love to hear it!
Okay, I use A LOT of songs, movies, and other references in this story, so I’m just going to list them all here:
The Candy Man Can is a great song that is not mine. The Time Warp is a song and dance number from the wonderful Rocky Horror Picture Show (watch it). Lola is by the Kinks. Jerry Garcia is the leading man in the Grateful Dead, and he’s got an ice cream flavor named after him. Sweet Baby James is a song by James Taylor. Strawberry Fields forever is a classic Beatles tune. Hamlet is not mine, nor is anything written by Shakespeare mine. The Mamas and the Papas is another great band. Oh, and in the last chapter I forgot to say that Dusty Springfield sings Only Want to be With You.
There. I think that’s everything. Thanks for reading, hopefully reviewing, and have a super day!
Oh, and happy Cinco De Mayo! Although by the time you are reading this, it will no longer be the day that the Mexicans chased the French out of their country. But happy May 5th, anyway!
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