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Empty by harrylilyjames
Chapter 20 : Decision
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 17

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.:Chapter 20:.

Lily sat on the sofa, and waited silently for the healer who had left her there to return. She looked around the room, but found that there were no pictures or windows on the walls, which looked very bare and cold.

She took her hair out of its high pony and roughly messed it up with her hand. But the minute the loose locks of her thick hair hit her back, she felt a bit more relaxed, her lungs feeling more able to take in breaths.

How did she ever manage to get herself into this mess?

She wanted a complete stranger to walk through the door, and who would sit down and just listen to her whine about how horrible her life is and that she, to her shock, wanted to swap lives with Snape- even though he had the worst life in the world- anything was better than this. Anything was better than have the feeling of despair and death hang over you like some dark black cloud.

With a sigh, Lily stood up from the sofa, and walked over to the wooden cabinet beside the armchair, the blue vase which sat on top of the cabinet looked empty as she walked towards it, but when she peered inside she saw a shrivelled up, dead looking flower hiding inside, she cupped the small dead flower in her two hands and sat back down, all the while not looking away from the plant. 

She watched as the flower started to change colour, the sad brown slowly turning into a soft salmon colour and then to a radiant pink. The flower doubled in size as the leaves uncurled and straightened themselves out. Lily smiled down at the now radiant pink petals. She placed it back into the vase and sat down still looking at it.

The door to the room clicked as it was opened and Lily turned to see the small, brown haired female healer walk through the door, a folder in her hand. She said nothing, as she walked towards the worn-out brown sofa and sat down settling the folder onto the wooden coffee table in front of her.

She looked up, her brown eyes filled with concern as she took in at Lily’s appearance.

“Miss...?” she asked, not knowing which name to use.

Lily gave a small smile, before she whispered “Potter.”

The healer nodded, before flicking the folder open, “Miss Potter... One of my workers has informed me about the choice that you picked in association with Mister James Potter’s future.” She sat straighter up on the chair, and interlocked her fingers together. “I’m not here to change your mind or anything like that... I need you to understand me.” Lily looked her straight in the eye. “There is no spell or potion that can bring back memories from his past.”

Lily bit her lip and nodded. “So he will never know about Harry?” she asked, her eyes were not crying anymore tears- they had long dried up. The healer shook her head from side-to-side.

“Sadly not. Yes, you can tell him all about Harry and what they did together. But they will only ever be stories to him. Nothing more.” 

Lily couldn’t look at the woman any longer, so she turned to a spot on the wall and stared at it, in a state of numbness. The two of them sat in silence, as Lily tried to make sense of it all, her mind was on overdrive as she tried to make the biggest decision she knew she would ever make. 

Lily slowly turned to the woman again, “Can I have the papers?”

The white papers seemed menacing as the healer pushed them across the table towards Lily. Lily read the paper, before she dipped the point of her quill into the ink bottle and watched as the small black drops fell from the tip of the quill and back into the ink. She hovered the quill inches over the black line, and watched, feeling as if she was outside her own body as her hand made smooth strokes across the sheet and her name was written neatly on the line. She dropped the quill and sat back, watching as the healer lifted the paper and placed it back into the folder.

Lily Potter had just signed James’s life away...

Lily silently followed the healer down the busy corridor, swerving around people to avoid collisions, but Lily wasn’t all there, she felt her feet walking, but she was moving them- she knew she was there in Saint Mungos but she felt like she was a hundred miles away. . Totally alone.


They turned a corner, which Lily would had easily missed if it wasn’t for the woman in front of her and the two of them walked down to the end of the corridor.

“Take as long as you want.” She said resting a hand on Lily’s shoulder. “If you need me, I’ll be just outside.” She pushed the door opened, revealing to Lily what looked like a completely empty room, with only a table in the middle with two vials sitting on top of it. Lily un-winningly stepped into the room. She waited for the door to close behind her before she stepped up to the table.

When she was standing beside the two vials, she looked down into them, to find one was bubbling slightly, while the other one was a soft cream colour. Lily sighed and took out her wand, she gave it a small flick, making a bottle of, James’s all-time favourite drink, Butterbeer appear in front of her along with a tall, skinny glass... That was when everything came rushing to her.

James was the only person in the world who could make her feel safe by just a mere touch. He always stood up in his role as ‘her knight in shining armour’ whenever she had gotten into a near-death experience- he had always saved her. She would of been dead long ago if it wasn’t for him- Like the time in Hogwarts when she, Lily went chasing after Remus- well the wolf form of Remus, she just wanted to ask him if he was feeling ok when the huge furry form came charging out of the trees at her. That was when the massive stag came charging forward and forced the beast away from her. Lily didn’t have a clue at the time of what had just happened, but with a lot of snooping around and asking questions- she soon found out.

Richard would never fill the role of her knight, even if he tried. Because her knight had to be the one person she loved to hate at school. It had to be the one person who still loved her when she had her ‘time of the month’. Who told her he loved her twenty times a day. Who didn’t care if she burped and farted in public. Who didn’t care if she ate with her mouth wide open and didn’t say grace before meals. Who made her laugh whenever she was feeling depressed, and always made the load a whole lot easier to carry... and Lily knew deep down she would never find another man that would make her feel like a princess.

...But her knight was in need of her rescuing...

Lily walked down the corridor, with the glass in her hands- the hated tears were back in full force and were streaming down her cheeks. She gripped the glass in one hand and opened the door to the room. James was lying down on the bed, his eyes closed. She walked over to him, and stood beside the bed.

“James?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper, but James opened his eyes and smiled.

“Hi,” he said, and before he could say anything else Lily cut across him.

“Listen, I have a drink for you...” she looked up at him, tears still streaming down her face. “It’ll make you feel very sleepy....” Lily said and she saw the smile spread across James’s face. Lily dropped the glass onto the bedside cabinet and began tucking the blankets around James.  

“Will you be here when I wake up?” James asked.

At this statement, Lily felt like she had been kicked in the gut. She closed her eyes and forced herself not to let the cries escape her lips. She shook her head and whispered.

“I will always be here for you.” She bent down, gave James a kiss on the lips. Before handing over the glass to him, he took it with a smile, and Lily watched as he drank it back in one. She took the empty glass out of his hand and placed it back down onto the cabinet, before taken hold of his hand in hers. She watched as his eyelids closed for the last time and his head lolled back onto the pillow...  His grip on her hand loosened.

Lily let the tears fall freely down her face... She wished she had gone with him.

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