Severus Snape sat on his sofa, absorbed in thought. Anyone looking in on the scene would have seen a seemingly old man with a troubled look permanently etched into his face. They would have seen his wreck of a house, with random things here and there. They would have seen peeling wallpaper and splintering wood. Cracked windows and a thick layer of dust covering everything. Food in odd places, and socks stuffed behind the TV. They would have seen the dwelling place of a man who had given up completely.
And he had. Snape no longer cared. He no longer felt. He was a broken man. His heart had been crushed. It was for Lily that he kept living. Kept sleeping. Kept eating. Even though he was no longer a part of her life, she was a constant part of his. The reason for his continued existence.
Snape thought back to the beginning of their seventh year at Hogwarts. Lily had just started dating Potter. He recalled the moment Lily told him.
“Severus, I never meant for it to be this way.” she said. “It just... happened.”
“How could something like this just happen?!” Snape asked her. “You love him, don't you?” It was more of an accusation than a question.
“Sev, listen.” Lily started. “I don't know how I feel about him quite yet. But remember this; whatever happens, I will always love you.”
“Do you mean it?” he asked her. His eyes pleaded with her, just say yes.
“Yes.” she paused. “Of course.” She kissed him lightly on the cheek.
These words brought Snape to tears almost every time he thought about them. Lily hadn't meant it, he now thought. She was engaged to that dumb-arse James Potter now. And she had said that all nine years ago anyway. Her feelings would have changed by now, even if she had meant it then. There was proof enough in the fact that she hadn't contacted him once since Hogwarts, ignoring all of his owls.
Lily had moved on in her life, but Snape had quite literally not. He was still stuck at his parents old house on Spinners End, alone and bitter. She lived in a beautiful cottage in Godrics Hallow with Potter and was quite happy there. Those to were both Aurers, fighting evil and whatnot.
That was the thing that had torn Snape and Lily apart. He was a filthy deatheater while she was and Aurer. He was on the dark side, and she was on the light. No matter how much they loved eachother, they could never be together. And that's the way it had to be. Otherwise, one or both of them would get hurt.
And that's why Severus Snape had given up completely. Because he was nothing without Lily. And there was no possible way to fulfill that want. That need. He would continue to be nothing as long as he lived.
Snape's thoughts were interrupted by a sharp knock on the door. He was confused. Who the hell would be knocking on his door? Probably some little muggle brat selling cookies or chocolates or something. Nevertheless, he got to his feet and opened the door. What he saw standing before him took his breath away.
“Can I come in?” she asked softly. Come in? To this pigsty? No way!
“Umm, sure.” He grasped for words. The two stepped into his house, and he led her over to the sofa. Lily gingerly sat down next to him.
“Why are you here?” he asked suddenly. The words just seemed to come out of his mouth. “You haven't spoke to me in years. Why now?” Snape realized how furious he was with the girl he loved with all his heart.
“Severus...” She said slowly, not looking at him. The sound of his name made his heart thump against his chest. Lily cleared her throat.
“I don't know if you've heard, but James and I are going to be married.” she said, still not looking at him.
“Yeah, I've heard.” Snape said awkwardly. She finally looked at him.
“Would you come to the wedding Severus?” she finished.
“What?” He exclaimed. This was far from what he had expected her to say.
“Would you? You just have to show up, I won't make you say anything.”
It was amazing how many times Snape had dreamed of seeing her again, and now it was finally happening. But this... this wasn't what he had wanted. Would he come? Would he come to witness his only love marry another man? How in hell could Lily possibly ask him this?
“I dunno Lily.” he said finally.
“I can understand.” She took a deep painful breath. “I'm so sorry Severus. I'm so sorry for just leaving you like that.” Snape thought about what Lily had just said.
“Lily, answer this honestly, please.” She nodded. “You said you would love me forever, remember? Do you still love me?”
She stared deep into his eyes and he saw deep into her. Snape saw sorrow, misery, and sadness. He saw a lot of himself in her. He had been wrong. Lily Evans had most definitely not moved on.
“Yes, I still love you. Always and forever, Sev.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and cried. Snape held her close to his body, crying along with her. Deep down in his heart, he had always known it. He had known she still had feelings for him. And that was why he continued to live. For her.
At the alter stood a man with black hair and glasses, and a woman with bright red hair and green eyes. In a lonely chair behind the last row, sat a man with long black hair and black eyes to match. He wore a dark suit and a blue tie. The man and the woman locked eyes for a moment, and smiled. Always and forever, Severus.
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