Chapter 19 : The Proof is in the Writing
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I’m attempting to eat lunch but I can’t stop smiling. Food just sits in my mouth for a bit and every once in awhile I almost choke.
Remus is starting to get concerned, but then again he still has a full plate as well. We keep looking at each other and grinning like we have a secret. Well it isn’t much of a secret since the rest of the Marauders caught us snogging on the couch last night. Normally I would have been mortified but I just skipped up the steps to bed. I met his eyes again, my grin growing wider.
“You two are disgusting” Sirius informed us. I think he’s just jealous because he’s newly single. We’re ignoring him of course.
“Stop looking at each other, you’re both ugly”
“Liar” we both said at the same time. Sirius rolled his eyes and seemed to officially give up at this point and slammed his head on the table while reaching for his orange juice. “I’m going to throw citric acid in your mushy little doe eyes” he threatened.
“James and Lily are holding hands under the table” Remus said, not once moving his eyes from mine.
“REMUS” James hollered angrily. He put his hand back on the table quickly even though he’d been caught. Lily giggled. “He’s fibbing to get the attention off him” James lied to Sirius, but rather unconvincingly because Sirius looked as if he’d been smacked in the face.
“James!” he sputtered, aghast. “You promised me there’s be no mushy stuff during mealtimes”
“We were just holding hands, dunno why you are so strict about it!”
Sirius crossed his arms “You made the rule!”
“Yeah because you and your girlfriends made eating difficult with all your face sucking” James argued.
“This is all the girls fault; we were fine before we hit puberty” Sirius grumbled and sent glares to me and Lily.
“I don’t like his tone” whispered Remus. “You may have to leave for your protection”
“I have to meet my brother Dave anyways” I told him and grabbed my bag. Remus got up as well “I’ll come with you”
My life rules.
“So you have one older brother and two twin sisters” Remus confirmed as he slipped his hand into mine casually. It felt as nice as it did in the common room the other night.
“I have a baby brother as well, he’s names Thomas” I put in. He nodded and I felt happy again. Not that I wasn’t previously, happier I should have said. Oh dear something must be affecting my brain more than usual.
As we reached the front entrance, the doors opened to reveal Dave, right on time for once. He waved and strolled over confidently. Luckily this time there were no girls around to fawn over him. He sort of reminds me of Sirius in that way.
“Hello brother” I called out in greeting as he approached us.
“Afternoon Del” Dave greeted. He looked Remus up and down curiously. “Where’s your cute little friend this time?” he asked after sizing him up.
“My cute little friend happens to be fourteen; I realize as a man-child that may be alluring, but let’s not forget the law”
“Nice to see you too sis” he reached out to ruffle my hair but I ducked away from this annoying act. Dave just laughed and handed me two wrapped packages, presumably for the twins.
“Mum will want you to owl her to make sure they got it, and their reactions to I suspect.”
“Sixteen tomorrow, should be momentous.” Especially since one of them will probably spit in my face if I try to wish her happy birthday. Dom was eyeing Remus again, and our hands that were still conjoined.
“Oh, this is Remus Lupin” I added. Remus looked like he was about to say hello but my brother interrupted him by doing something odd, he started laughing, really hard.
“Thanks, I guess it must be really hard to believe that males can like your sister” I told him sarcastically. The git was still bent over laughing. He stood up and composed himself but he was still chuckling.
“Sorry, just surprised, finally got him eh? Good on you”
Not good not good not good. My brother has a history of stealing my journal. A journal with some incriminating doodles going back to, say I don’t know OUR SECOND YEAR.
“Umm, thanks we’ll be going” Remus was looking confused, I started pulling him away.
“Wait wait, let me get another look at him.”
Die Dave die.
Remus was looking red as Dom once again sized him up, this time from a new perspective. “So this is The Boy you’re in love with, the one you always wrote about in your journal”
I could feel Remus’s tense up since we were holding hands. “I didn’t say love per say, you never actually got away with reading it” I said trying to correct him. I stressed every word to give him the hint to stop talking.
He shook his head obliviously. “Please, I’m a terrible older brother, I read whatever I could before you caught me, and you’ve been in love with this guy since you were twelve”
Remus and I are no longer holding hands. He thinks this all started at the beginning of the year.
“Well, I going to go see if Gable is around, best Prof I ever had” Dave said changing the topic. Figures, Professor Gable is the school’s flying instructor and a huge Quidditch fan. Dave gave us a friendly wave before saying “Congratulations” and walked away.
“So that’s you brother”
Queue the silence.
I felt awkward. Remus looked awkward. This was awkward.
I mean he knew I liked him, I told him so. But I don’t think he realized how far it went back. Or how obsessive it was. Or that the word love was involved in any way. If I was in his shoes, I might feel a little freaked out myself.
“Look Remus” I began.
“I’ve got to go” he said hurriedly. I couldn’t hide the hurt on my face and he saw. He sighed and looked really conflicted; he lifted a hand on my shoulder.
“Delia..we’ll talk” he told me and spun around quickly.
And I starred after him like a lovesick fool. And felt very sorry for myself. I take back my earlier statement, my life does not rule. Or at least it no longer does. All because my stupid brother can’t keep his mouth shut.
Soon a new emotion was bubbling up, extreme anger; I headed towards the flying instructor’s office. It was on the other side of the school so I knew with my furious pace, that I would reach him before he made his destination.
If I didn’t know the way I could follow the giggling girls he left in his wake. Finally, after turning another corner, I spotted the arse.
“Hey big brother” I hollered after him.
He stopped and turned around questionably.
As soon as I reached him I roughly shoved him “You screwed me over!” I accused.
“Thanks for telling the boy I like that I’m practically insanely obsessive about him”
“You made me sound like a stalker! I can’t believe this, you’ve haven’t screwed me over enough times in my life that you have to go and do this!”
He paused and put a hand to his chin thoughtfully. “I can sort of see your point” he said eventually “You didn’t exactly come off good there”
“WELL I’M HAPPY YOU REALIZED YOUR MISTAKE YOU BIG DOLT”
“He should be flattered” Dave reasoned. “It’s not my fault he’s got his priorities mixed up”
“Since first year you’ve been making me miserable, you know that?”
I must have looked as potentially explodable as I felt because he started to look concerned. He reached out and put his hands on my shoulders to steady me.
“I’m sorry” he said. “For making you look bad and the other things you obviously hold against me”
“Rightfully so” I huffed. He nodded “Well for the things I did when I was twelve, you’re going to have to quit holding against me because I was a young twit and all my friends were starting to like having you around”
“What?” I repeated dumbly. Was he telling me the reason why he abandoned me back when I started school?
“They were thinking of you as a friend, started asking if you were coming to hang out, I got jealous” he shrugged. I remembered following my brother around but I barely remembered his friends. They were all just boys I felt honoured to be around; when Dave ditched me I thought it was because none of them liked me even though they’d been friendly enough.
“As for recently, I dunno, I just like bugging you for fun sometimes, I don’t mean anything by it”
“You act like a total arse to me”
“Yeah and I love you and Mum going on about what a failure I am, I’m eighteen for Merlin’s sake, sure it’s tough not being as you say ‘the king of school’ anymore but I’ll adjust eventually”
That shut me up. I guess I am a little e bitchy.
“But I am sorry about messing with your relationship back there, especially since I probably enjoyed meeting him more than I’ll enjoy whoever this guy is that’s dating Christie” he face scrunched up again. “She wants me to come find her after to meet him”
I sighed “If you’re really sorry than I forgive you” I told him begrudgingly. He was being oddly nice and rational.
“And you’ve waited this long for this Lupin guy, I’m sure you can wait a few hours for him to realize how stupid he’s being”
And now he’s giving me advice. Today is weird.
“Anyways I’m happy for you, you seemed to be having a miserable year before, and that Leo guy was a git”
I laughed a little at this. “To be fair, he’s trying to change”
He looked surprised. “That’s weird, gits like that usually don’t know they gits”
“True, but I think he’s had it pounded into his head hard enough, literally too”
He nodded. The door to Professor Gable’s office opened a second later.
“Dave Moore!” he welcomed happily “Come in son, that is if I’m not interrupting anything” he winked at me.
“I’m his sister” I told him coldly. Thanks for remembering my name teach.
“Later Del” Dave told me with a laugh as he followed the red faced Gable inside the office.
I stood there a little while longer. Though Dave’s words were nice I was still in a very upsetting predicament. I turned my head up and glared at the sky through the ceiling.
“ONE DAY” I shouted upwards to whomever controlled fate and all that. “You guys couldn’t let me have even one full day?”
Ross found me sulking in my room later on.
“I heard” she said solemnly, patting my arm.
I looked at her bewildered. “Do you have sort of psychic link to me that I don’t know about” I asked her incredulously.
She shook her head “Remus was telling his friends”
“He was just saying he didn’t know you liked him that much, I think he felt bad.”
“And now everyone thinks I’m in love with him”
“Well you are”
“That’s not the point here”
“What are you getting at?” I accused. She sighed and made a motion for me to wait by holding up her hand. Then she hurried out of the room, nearly bumping into the rest of the Gryffindor girls heading back from class.
Crystal shrieked happily when she saw me “Delia and Remus” she sang happily. She’s been doing that all day. I haven’t had the heart to tell her we lasted about as long as good night’s sleep. I smiled warmly at everyone and waited patiently for Ross to come back.
An hour later everyone had left and she was still a no show.
I climbed under the covers, ready for an early sleep when Ross finally returned. She ran back in the room with her hands behind her back and was grinning madly. “I have something for you” she said.
“Is it a time turner?” If it is, I can go back in time when Dave was a baby and sell him. Wait we made up. Okay I’ll go back in time and swat myself a few times for ever deciding to keep a journal.
“Then please place it on my trunk and after I sleep away my troubles I’ll get to it” I pulled my sheets over my head and hoped she wouldn’t push this any further. Which of course she did.
She pulled the pillow out from under my head and started thumping me with it.
“Okay, okay” I relented and poked my head out.
She shoved a book of writing in my face.
“Exhibit A” she announced and pointed a finger to a passage that….was pink?
“I used a highlighter, it’s a muggle thing” she explained. I nodded, pretending to understand why muggles wanted to highlight words in pink. My eyes read the words, hey, this was my writing.
On more year of my hopeless and annoying crush on Remus Lupin
It was a journal entry from the end of last summer. Back when I was uncertain he even knew my name. I gave her a look that plainly asked how this was going to help me.
“So, obviously it wasn’t hopeless” she concluded and flipped to another page, again a passage was highlighted in pink. It was written recently after school began.
I am going to talk to him again
I resolve to make this year different.
“And you did” Ross piped up, flipping a few pages again. I looked at her curiously; she’d been doing this for the past hour?
He thinks I’m amusing
”And so it began” she ended dramatically and shut the book. “Basically what I’m trying to show you is you went from barely talking to the guy to where you are now. It’s not really the time to give up. If you’d like I could reference all those Mrs. Delia Lupin doodles and various descriptions of how perfect his physical features are, you crossed them all out but you did a bad job and they’re still faintly visible.”
“No I got it, you are really too involved in my personal life you know that?” I said sitting up. This had hit a mark of some kind. No, I wasn’t going to bed now.
Ross shrugged “I like to think it’s vital to your well being that I intervene”
“That certainly isn’t false” I told her and climbed out of my bed. She needs a good reward for this, perhaps a little confidence booster.
“My brother thinks your cute” I told her, grabbing my sneakers. She went red and started mumbling something how I must be mistaken. She did look rather pleased though.
“What’s next” she asked me as I put on my shoes.
“I’m guessing proclamations, maybe some heartbreak and a few other endless possibilities” I summed up.
“Once again, I’ve got to go give it my all.”
I figure I’m getting pretty practiced at declaring my feelings these days so I must be getting better.
Because hell, like the diary reads; I’m totally in love with him.
A/N: The next chapter is going to be the hardest one to write just because I can’t believe I’m finishing a second story. But since all my major school stuff is done, I have no excuses to make you guys wait long.
For those of you who’ve been following The Life and Death Brigade, chapter 3 is up, enjoy!
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