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Remus' Secret by bexi_potter
Chapter 1 : Remus' Secret
Rating: 12+Chapter Reviews: 9

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Remus Lupin was sitting in the library.

To be precise, Remus Lupin was sitting in the library reading a book on the Magical Plants of The Nile and their astonishing properties.

To be even more precise, he was sitting in a velvet red armchair next to a window in the library whilst reading about the properties of the Magical Plants of The Nile.

This was Remus Lupin’s favourite seat in the library. It was comfy, with just enough cushioning to sit properly in but not enough to make you drown in its springiness.

He also liked to look out of the window every once in a while as he read; it was positioned perfectly so the sun would always warm through the window and cast glittering gems of light down onto the Lake below, where his friends spent most of their time. To him, the sun reflecting off the surface of the lake as it gently lapped against the shore was peaceful.

He was feeling peaceful. Perfectly content in his Magical Plant book and the sun making the surface of the water shine.

Until, that is, Lily Evans cleared her throat somewhere near him and made him jump out of his skin. The look on her face said everything. It was one of those looks where someone knows a secret and they look smug in their deductive powers, whilst looking afraid that the person whose secret it is will be angry if the said person divulged said secret, in case it was a heavily guarded secret, and such secret could destroy someone’s life.

She knew.

Remus’ face paled slightly. He took a deep breath through his nose and put a wide smile on his face, trying to be calm.

“Hello Lily, can I help you with anything?”

She shook her head and took a seat in the armchair opposite him.

Remus Lupin didn’t like that armchair. It wasn’t in the sun and was always freezing cold. It also was completely threadbare, and had no cushioning whatsoever, and it made you feel as though you were sitting on a hard plank of wood.

She stared at him blankly, biting her fingernails nervously.

‘What a terrible habit,’ thought Remus idly, before remembering that the following conversation could possibly completely and utterly destroy his friendship with Lily and maybe everyone in the school and would most likely get him kicked out of Hogwarts for good with no hope of ever integrating with society again.

So he focused on her face and remained silent.

“Remus…I…Wow. I don’t know what to say.”

Remus took this as a bad sign.

“You know,” he stated, more to just fill an awkward silence than because he needed clarification. The fact she knew was completely obvious.

She nodded mutely.

“I understand if you don’t want to associate with me…”

But she was by his side in a second, hugging him fiercely but failing, as it is awkward to hug someone in a chair when you are standing.

“I don’t hate you at all Remus, of course I don’t!” she rushed. “It’s just…it’s a shock, you know?” She withdrew her arms from around his shocked frame and knelt beside his chair. “I really can’t imagine it.”

“Most people probably couldn’t.”

Remus almost choked with happiness. This was going better than he thought it would be by this point.

“How did you find out?” he asked curiously, although, in his mind he already knew. ‘The Brightest Witch of their Age’, not realize that one of her best friends was a werewolf? With all the scars, absences, Hospital Trips, insane craving for any type of meat during the full moon and complete vegetarianism afterwards?

Pure madness.

“I guessed,” she admitted, “I just saw the signs, and when I confronted you just now you knew exactly what I was on about, so I thought it must be true.”

Clever. Very clever.

‘Next time, do not give yourself away, and always, always, ALWAYS play dumb,’
he thought to himself. But then again, this didn’t seem to be going so bad.

Then again again, not many people were as caring and considerate and as downright amazing as Lily Evans.

“So, how long have you…you know…been like this?” Lily asked.

“I was six,” he said quietly. Lily gasped.

“Wow, Remus! That’s such a young age to find out!”

Erm…find out? What an odd choice of words to use. He ignored it. I mean, the girl was accepting that he was a monster. The least he could do was allow her a few grammatical errors. Even if they did annoy him… 

“I mean, you have no real concept of life when you’re six! Imagine having that heaped on you. What a burden…oh Remus, you’re so brave!” She hugged him awkwardly again, and ruffled his sandy blonde hair affectionately. Remus smiled.

This really was going amazingly well.

“I assume the Marauders know?” she asked, but of course it was obvious to anyone else that knew that the Marauders knew, because it wasn’t as if the Marauders kept secrets from each other anymore.

Remus nodded. “They’re amazing help,” he said, a small happy smile on his face, “they’re more like brothers than anything else. They’re there through the good parts and the bad parts.”

“I’ll be here for you too, if you need me,” Lily vowed. Remus smiled at her, nodding his thanks, but there was only so much she could do for him. She could hardly come out with him and the other Marauders during Full Moon, could she? Unless she was a secret Animagus. Although, he wouldn’t put it past her, considering her magical ability.

“So it’s only the Marauders and me that knows?”

“Dumbledore knows.”

“Yeah but Dumbledore knows everything, he doesn’t really count.”

Remus laughed. “True.” He stopped short. It was hard for him to believe that someone could accept his condition so…willingly.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

Lily looked indignant.

“Of course I am! What kind of friend would I be if I wasn’t?”

‘A sane one,’ thought Remus. Thank God he was friends with all the crazy ones.

“Anyway,” she continued, standing up fully, “I don’t see why you don’t just tell the whole school.”

Remus’ mouth gaped.

“B-because it would cause public outcry,” he stuttered, “no one else would accept it as well as you and the Marauders would, especially people with prejudices. Parents would be furious at Dumbledore with letting someone like me in, they’d withdraw their kids from Hogwarts so they wouldn’t be near me –”

Lily cut him off in mid-rant.

“Oh Remus, I don’t think it’s THAT terrible, you know. I mean, I can se why it would be hard for you in the day and age that we live in, but you’re not the only one.”

“I guess so,” he frowned.

“I’m sure there’s other kids in Hogwarts like you, so it’s not like you’re on your own here.”

Remus sat, shell-shocked. Was she joking? She couldn’t possible be serious. Maybe she didn’t understand properly at all.

‘But it’s Lily Evans,’ he argued with himself, ‘she’s supposed to understand everything. Her brain is huge for a reason.’

“Lily, no one else at Hogwarts is like me,” he said slowly, “I would know if there was.”

“I always thought that sixth year kid in Ravenclaw, whats-his-name, Anthony Wedge or something, with the light blonde hair and really blue eyes, puffy sort of effeminate lips was…well, like you,” she mused.

Remus stared, horrified. Okay, she just had to be joking now.

“Lily, Anthony really, really, REALLY isn’t like me. Trust me. I can tell.”

“Really?” she asked, surprised. “Is it really obvious then?”

“…Slightly.” As if the smell of a werewolf wasn’t enough. He could smell another werewolf within a five mile radius of the castle.

“That’s kind of cool.”

Remus’ eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. There must be some explanation for her sudden delirium…

Periods! Maybe she was on her period? It was an iron-clad reason for girls acting completely mad. He remembered one time, vividly, when James had been annoying Lily and she had clawed at him arm, before screaming in his ear, “I AM ON MY PERIOD. DO NOT FUCK WITH ME.” He’d been so frightened he’d almost wet himself. Maybe she was releasing her period emotions a different way this time?

“Um,” was all he could say as she stood up and stretched her legs.

“Well, I’ve got an essay to do for Potions, but if you want I’ll casually talk to some of the more feminine, cuter guys for you and put in a good word, all conspicuously of course.” She winked and Remus’ head span.

“Feminine, cuter guys?” he said back. 

Confused? Confused did not even stretch far enough. Confused was a line that had turned into a meagre dot in the distance. It was so tiny that he could hardly see it anymore, he was that far past it.

“Yeah, I’ll see if any of them are remotely interested in guys like that. I mean, I know you said you knew if people were gay too, but you never know.”

“Wait,” Remus said. “Wait. You…think…I’m…gay?”

“Well, that is your big secret, isn’t it?” she rolled her eyes and smiled. “Don’t worry, I won’t say your name. I’ll just say I have a friend. Girls love having gay best friends, all the Gryffindor girls would love you…anyway, yeah, the Potions essay. Talk to you later.”

With that, she left.

Remus was silent.

‘I…I act gay?’

He head-desked on the window sill several times, cursing Lily Evans so loudly Madam Pince almost chucked him out. 

Mmm, yes. My little plot baby. Don't even ask how this arrived in my head, I have no idea, it just popped up and I was like, hm, alright there? 

I'm not used to writing funny stuff, I mostly go with the whole, romantic-angsty-mystery type of thing, but yeah, this thing wouldn't leave my head in peace. So, I'd appreciate any reviews telling me I'm not completely hopeless. 

Con-crit is also deeply appreciated. How can I improve? Should I stop writing now and spare everyone? Let me know, and thanks for reading, even if you don't review. :) 

Also, I know it's been a long time. Forgive me. :( 


PS: HA! I only just figured out how to put those horizontal line things. They're great...aha. 

I'll shush now. ¬.¬

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