I remember that time, decades ago, when we were young, that time that should be about recklessness, of fun, of love. But for us that time was none of this. Back then, death and fear hovered over us. We feared losing friends and family. We lost friends and family. We feared losing our own lives. But more than that, we feared losing one another.
I remember the time just after that fateful day, a time when everything was easier. When we were still young. But this time we truly had all the time ahead of us. When we could just sit on the grass and enjoy each other's company. We promised each other endless love. We would fight over small things, because we knew that we could make up afterwards. I would say that I loved to make up after a fight. You would say that you loved it even more.
I remember the time when you first said you loved me. And the first time I said I loved you back. When you used to kiss my eyes whenever I cried. When you said that only my smell could calm you down.
I remember when you asked me to be your wife.
I remember everything about that day. The way my brothers threatened you to death if you didn't make me happy. The way my mother cried and said that she always knew this would happen. The way my father said he was glad that you would become an official member of the family.
I remember all the preparations we went through. All the fights we had about them. Either about the place for the wedding or the color of the dress robes. Either about the flowers or the food for the reception. We fought so much that I even thought it was better if we didn't get married at all. And when I told you that you looked deep inside my eyes, smiled and kissed me, saying that you loved me.
I remember the wedding. How I barely slept during the night and how I could never stop smiling. I couldn't eat anything and mom smiled and told me it was normal to feel this way. I remember when my father took my hand and brought me to the garden where everyone was waiting for me. Where you were waiting for me. When my eyes fell on you, I couldn't see anyone else.
I remember when you said "I do".
I remember when you took me in your arms so that you could carry me inside our new house. You said this was some sort of muggle tradition. But you didn't let me down once we went through the door. You took me to our bedroom and we made love.
I remember how lovely the first few weeks we spent together were. But I also remember how hard it became soon after. You saw my flaws and I saw yours. We would fight about toilet seats, tooth paste, wet towels, dirty dishes, bad food and, of course, our own tempers. But even though we had hard times, I surely can't say we were unhappy. I still reminisce about those nights we spent in front of the fire together, just enjoying each other's company as we read a book or played chess or just talked. At that time, I was only yours.
I remember when we saw the positive result like it was yesterday. All three of them.
I remember the morning sickness, the urges for food, the enlargement spells used on my clothes, the back pains. I also remember the unique feeling of knowing that a person was growing inside me, you kissing my belly, you saying that I never looked more adorable even though I was huge. The three times I carried your children were unique. I laughed every time you said you wished I was always pregnant. You never had a loving family and I was happy to be able to give you one.
I remember the first steps, so uncertain but so perfect at the same time. I remember the first words and how I had to convince you that "wabba" was just noise. How we had to explain to the boys that our little girl could pee even though she was "missing something". Their first time on brooms. They flew so well, you even said that we passed them our quidditch genes.
I remember when we took each of our children to catch the Hogwarts Express for the first time. It was hard to be away from them. Specially when all three of them were gone. Being just the two of us again didn't make sense. I remember the change on your face whenever the holidays approached. Our life sure was full of love.
I remember the first seizure you had.
I remember all that we went through to discover what was going on with you. So many days at the hospital, so many questions without an answer. And then the diagnosis came from a muggle doctor: brain cancer. No muggle operation was possible. No wizarding method would heal it. You went through rough treatments. They would make you feel weak, they would make you feel sick and dizzy, and they were not enough to stop this dreadful illness.
I remember when you looked into my eyes and said you wanted to stop the treatment.
I remember how much I cried in my mother's arms because I didn't want you to know how sad I felt. But you knew. I remember the night you hugged me tight and told me to be strong, that you'd rather live a month enjoying life with me and the kids than live a year going through all the pain that came from the medication. I said you wouldn't die in a month. You only smiled at me and we kissed.
I remember the days that went after that. You decided to leave you job and be with me. We would go for a picnic at the park often, we had plenty of family dinners at my parents' house. You would kiss me fully, you would make love to me, like it was our last chance to do it. Then summer came and brought the children home. You spent those months playing with them, giving them advice, spoiling your little girl. Then, on a particularly beautiful rainy day in August, when we spent the day inside having a chess competition, as we went to bed at night you hugged me and asked me: Do you remember a time when we were so alive? I didn't.
I remember that you never woke up after that night. You died peacefully in my arms with a smile on you face.
I remember I wanted to die that day. But when our kids came to see what was going on, why was I crying, I knew I had to stay alive for them. It was not easy to raise them alone. Specially our little girl, she was so close to you. But I believe I did a good job. James now works at the ministry in the Department of Magical Games and Sports. Albus is a healer at St. Mungo's Creature-Induced Injuries Ward and he is married to a lovely muggle girl and has two lovely kids: Annabel and Sean. Lily teaches Astronomy at Hogwarts and got married last year to Henry Longbottom. They are all here right now to celebrate the news: our little girl just found out she is pregnant.
And moments before I came upstairs to write this down, as I stood downstairs and remembered all of this, I missed you and wished you were here with me. And that really is something, because it's one of the few times that I wished you were here instead of wishing I was there with you. Right now I feel sad and happy at the same time because I can't remember a moment when I was more alive. The only thing that could make things better was if you were still here with me.
A.N.: Well, as I said this was written for the "Quotation Inspiration challenge". I hope you liked reading it as much I as enjoyed writting it. And please, make me happy by leaving a review! *lol*
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