This chapter was edited and redone :) starting the revising process so the story is better!!
May 17, 1979
I caressed my fingers across the faded edges of the old photograph I had of Lily and James’s house. She had sent it to me so I would know where to go, where to apparate. It wasn’t a mansion or a beautifully designed house like you would expect someone with money, like James did, to have. It was medium sized and very cottage like: two stories with dark blue painted shutters that contrasted against white wood. I smiled faintly as I skimmed over it, the house was perfect for Lily.
I took a deep, shaky breath. I would go there for three days for the wedding, and then be gone. That was all I had to do, I told myself, nothing more. Bit I already felt that it would be too much for me to handle.
The day after graduation, I left. I didn’t say goodbye to anyone or leave a note, and I knew that action would still be unsettled with some. I grabbed what little I had and ran to France. That was two years ago. The only person I had bothered to keep in touch with was Lily. She and James were finally getting married and she had been begging me for almost three months to come. Lily was right, it was time to face my past, to confront the demons that still haunted me. Except one.
“Are you sure? Are you absolutely positive he won’t be there? He is James’s is best friend.” I anxiously asked for the hundredth time on the phone.
I heard Lily sigh. “Yes, I’m sure Madysen. He’s leaving on a mission for the Order tomorrow.”
“That’s that thing for Dumbledore, right?” I asked uncertainly, with a lump in my throat. The War. I seemed completely untouched by that in France, yet all my friends, all the people I had grown up with, were fighting for their lives daily and I was doing nothing to help. I pushed down the sickening feeling in my stomach.
“Yes,” she paused uncertainly, “Even if he was there, if you just talked--”
“No,” I said almost too quickly. “There’s nothing more to be said.” I managed a whisper.
My head started to pound thinking about that conversation from two nights ago. I glanced at my bags to make sure I had everything and tried to memorize everything about the picture so I could apparate to the house successfully.
I grabbed the felt handle of my suitcase and my whole body seemed to go numb. What was I doing? I couldn’t go back there. I had started a whole new life in France. Something inside me kept telling me that if I went back there, my old home, everything I had built on my own in France would be destroyed. It was three days. Anything could happen. I suddenly collapsed against the table. What would people think of me? My old friends? I had left everything behind...
No. I had to do this for Lily. She had been there for me throughout the years and I couldn’t do this to her. She was the closet and most trustworthy friend I had ever had. I closed my brown eyes and pictured the cottage house in my head and immediately felt like I was being sucked into a tube.
When I opened my eyes, I saw the house before me. My heart was pounding and I was drawing fast breaths. I was here now, in England, and I knew from this point, there was no turning back. I took a shaky step forward and started toward the dark blue door. I didn’t feel like myself, it like someone else was walking for me, like someone else was knocking on the door.
My body froze as I heard loud, quick footsteps coming from inside. The overwhelming truth of where I was hit me full force. I couldn’t breathe.
“Who is it?” The voice I immediately recognized as Lily’s, called.
I tried to find my voice. “It’s-it’s me… Madysen.”
The dark blue wooden door swung open fast. “Madysen!” Lily engulfed me in a huge hug. She then looked at me, her face turning slightly red from embarrassment, and said “You know, for a couple of minutes I actually thought you weren’t coming.”
“Yeah, I kind of got held up.” I rolled my lips together and smiled faintly. Lily hadn’t changed one bit. Her long, red hair still cascaded past her shoulders in perfect waves, her ivory skin was flawless, and her vibrant green eyes still shone with kindness. My heart swelled with emotion, realizing there was no doubt that I had missed her.
Lily made a motion with her hands. “Here, come in.” I started to follow her towards a room. I guessed it was the living room. The room was off-white and simple. There was a black leather couch and deep burgundy arm chair. The fireplace was dancing with red and orange flames. “You don’t know how great it is to see you. It’s been way too long. You look great too!” Lily beamed at me as she prompted me to sit next to her on the couch.
“Thanks.” I felt my face going hot. I could never take compliments well.
Her green eyes assessed me with confusion. “You look nervous.”
“I’m not nervous.” I told her, as I shakily pulled my hair around me ears and looked away from her. “Do I look nervous? Why would I be nervous?”
“Your lip is bleeding from biting it, which is the number one thing you do when you’re nervous and, Madysen, you’re going pale and you’re looking at me like I’m a ghost.” Lily sighed but kept staring at me. She suddenly grabbed my arm. This was a habit she always did when she was saying something important. “Listen, there’s nothing to be worried about. Everyone else will be thrilled to see you. They’ve missed you way too much to be mad anymore.”
“I hope so.” I mumbled and looked down at my hands. The sickening feeling was coming back.
Lily waited a few moments before continuing. “Now tell me all about France. What have you been doing? Do you have a job? I mean, all we ever talk about is stuff going on here.”
France. This was a subject I could handle. “It really is beautiful. I never seen anything like it. I work at the Ministry there. It’s a lot like the one here.”
“Really? It’s weird to think of magic being anywhere else.” Lily mused.
I chuckled half-heartedly. “Well, it is. Where’s James?” I asked her, trying to change the subject.
“Oh, I sent him out to get stuff for the wedding.” Lily waved her hand nonchalantly. “He’ll be so excited that you’re finally here. He actually didn’t believe me when I told him you were coming.” She said sheepishly.
“I bet everyone did.” I muttered darkly.
Lily and I both jumped when we heard the doorbell ring. She had a confused look in her emerald eyes. “No one else is coming today. Maybe James can’t get the door open with all the things I told him to get. I’ll be right back.”
I nodded and watched her leave the room. I stood up slowly and started looking at things around the room. I saw pictures of her and James. There were ones of Remus and ones of Peter, and even a picture of me and Lily in Hogsmeade in 6th year… the Hogsmeade visit where everything changed. I looked away quickly and tried to push every single memory of that day away before the tears starting coming. As I looked around more, I realized there were no pictures of the boy I was hoping not to see, but still wanted to. Pictures of him. I wondered if Lily had taken them down for my sake, or if they really didn’t have any. I looked to the right and saw a door slightly open. I walked pushed it open and saw it was just the kitchen. It was cute, but nothing like my kitchen in France. It was a bright yellow color and the counters were lined with white linoleum. There were miscellaneous things hanging on the walls.
“Madysen.” Lily’s voice surprised me. It surprised me even more that her voice was shaky. I turned around and saw that she had gone white, well, whiter than she normally was.
“Lily, what’s wrong?” I asked worriedly as I rushed toward her. Thoughts about the Order, James getting hurt, or Emmeline getting hurt all rushed through my head in a matter of seconds.
Lily‘s green eyes were remorseful as she spoke to me. “Madysen, I am so sorry….”
Oh, no. “What for?”
She grabbed my forearms and turned me around. My back was to the door. Lily leaned in and started to whisper, an edge in her voice. “I thought--”
And then I felt it. The feeling I hadn’t felt in over two years. That deep, overwhelming, life-sucking feeling I got whenever he was near. That feeling of awareness that I always had when it came to him. I heard the swinging door open from behind me. I took a deep breath and turned around slowly.
Then I saw him standing there. My insides dropped to the floor and my head started to spin. I wouldn’t doubt that they could hear my heart pounding. He stood there staring at me with an unfathomable look on his face. I couldn’t understand it or read it. I never could. Our connection was finally broken when he blinked his grey eyes. The most beautiful eyes I had ever seen.
I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding and found my hoarse voice. “Hello, Sirius.”
I hope you liked it!! The next chapter is going to go back to the past and then it will start switching :) And I'm sorry it was short but the next one will be longer. I didn't think the first chapter should be as long. please review!!