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Accidentally on Purpose by 100 _percent_ witch
Chapter 3 : Of Impressive Reasoning
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 30

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Chapter Three

I had another few more run ins with the infamous Sirius Black. And I really do mean run ins. As in I actually ran into the boy. He’s as hard as a rock, barely flinches as my whole body comes crashing onto his. It has its appeals though. Oh God, did I just really say that? How horrid. How vulgar.

“Well, hello Marriot.” He had said while steadying me. “Nice bumping into you.”

To which I promptly backed away from his grip and somehow caught the end of my robe and fell down on my bottom. My poor arse.

“I’m glad to see your falling for me.” Had been his cheesy reply with a touch of arrogance that came naturally to him.

“Unfortunately for you, I am falling in the literal sense, much to the displeasure of my arse. And really, you should definitely watch where you’re going. You’re a menace to society and my bum.”

His eyes had swiftly found my rear, which was to say non-existent so I wasn’t too worried but I still felt rather violated.

“Doesn’t look bad to me.” He grinned charmingly.

“Oh, were you able to discern my bottom from my body? I say, you do have keen eyes!” I rolled my eyes and I as I turned away from him, I mouthed an “OH MY GOD” that clearly said, Did-I-really-just-say-that?

My encounters with Black afterward had been just as embarrassing, just as pointless and almost always very painful, physically and emotionally. Emotional in the sense that I finally understood why I had no friends and physical in the sense that I fell a lot, causing harm to not only myself but often times Sirius.

Fortunately today I had not seen him once. There’s only so much embarrassment a person can handle. And yes, even I have my limits. I glance furtively around the library in case I had been wrong and Sirius Black happened to be in here after all. But then I realized how foolish those thoughts were. Sirius Black in the library? I sighed and slowly relaxed. Now I had to concentrate on this stupid essay. Damn, I was so screwed. Damn me and my procrastinating ways.

However I notice quite interestedly that Lily Evans and Amos Diggory are having a rather lovely time ‘studying’ and the loud smacking noise I hear emanating from them is definitely not one of pages being turned. Hmm… interesting.

This is what I have come to, spying on people who have lives while invariably getting absolutely nowhere with my own. Whoa, they are really getting into it. Must avert eyes. Who knew perfect Lily Evans could snog with such passion in a library? I quickly let out a frustrated sigh and gather my things. There was absolutely no way I was going to get my homework done with those two macking it up. As I am heading out of the library, the very picture of Ravenclaw calm, I am suddenly greeted by a pair of warm, large hands holding my shoulders. Gripping my shoulders, actually.

Without even thinking about it, I begin to kick vigorously at my capture’s shins to which those warm hands belong. My capture shrieks in pain and quickly releases me as he is limping and cursing and jumping up and down while simultaneously holding my foot in the air. It’s a rather strange sight, I might say but then the curtain of hair shielding my face gives way and I find once again that I am staring into the ever-penetrating gaze of Sirius Black. Oh Bollocks. Not again.

Honestly, my life is turning into one of those soppy chick-lit books where the heroine always meets her hero in a series of encounters and with each encounter (destined by fate of course) they slowly begin to realize their feelings for one another and elope to a far off country where they eventually have 12 children and join a singing contest and escape the Nazis.

Oh. Wrong love story. But that still doesn’t dissuade the fact that Sirius Black is still in agony and I am the one that caused it, yet again.

“Oops.” I mumble after I realize that he is in fact not a mass murderer but merely a very pissed off teenage wizard. Not exactly the best combination, I must say but than again forces beyond my control gave me a wand, so really who am I to question fate? The people up there must be really bonkers.

“What the bloody hell was that for?” He asks angrily, still clutching his shins. The baby. Honestly, I didn’t even kick that hard. Sure, he was slightly limping but for God’s sakes he was Sirius Black, bad boy to the max, surely a bruised shin was nothing in comparison to the injuries he had faced.

“Well,” I say slightly affronted by his tone, “The blame rests entirely upon you, you who, as overbearingly clichéd as it sounds, keep on bumping into me in a series of ‘sporadic’ encounters, which as I am now beginning to question are not quite so ‘sporadic’ at all.”

“What does sporadic---” He begins.

“Oh for the love of Merlin, are you stalking me or what, Sirius Black?”

“Janelle Marriot, I am not stalking you. I am simply following you around ceaselessly and taking pictures of you so I can hang it up on my wall and think of jolly good ol’ England.”

I gape, openmouthed. And judging from the fact that my mouth was opened so wide I think I swallowed a bug.

“I’m joking.” He says bluntly after my shocked expression does not budge.
I open my mouth to say something but he rudely cuts me off.

“Just have thoughts, Marriot.” He says, rolling his eyes already anticipating my full frontal attack. Verbally, that is.

“Only if you do.” I retort childishly. Not exactly my wittiest comment but meh, you gotta do what you gotta do, or however the saying goes.

“Nice.” He remarks coolly.


A moment of silence approximately 45 seconds in length lasted. Yes, I counted.

“You know, for somehow who talks a lot you really can’t hold up a decent conversation.” He says haughtily and with that he struts off in all his stupid shiny haired glory. The ingrate.

“Oh, go make babies you fascist sporadic bumping wonder!” I yell after him, insulted and hurt.

Well, how’s that for a quick retort. Eat my dirt Sirius Black, you conniving stealer of first kisses.

After a few minutes of pointless walking out of anger, I suddenly realize that I have no idea why Sirius got so prissy so suddenly and then I come to the conclusion that I have no idea what just happened.

I ponder on this for a good second before shrugging it off. Who was Sirius Black to me anyway? A better-than-thou Gryffindor so arrogant in his assumptions of the world that he just lays his hands on girls shoulders and kisses them without a thought about what turmoil he wreaks upon their sensitive female minds. I get really angry at this thought but only for a second. A second I tell you!

As if to prove my point I wondered what was for lunch. Thoughts of him vanished from my mind.

No, really, it did!


“She called you a what?” James Potter chortled mercilessly, seemingly unaffected by his best mates ruthless glare.

“A fascist sporadic bumping wonder.” Sirius replied dryly.

“And how does this make you feel?” Remus mockingly questioned, raising his eyes from his book. A smirk played on his lips.

“Moony,” Sirius groaned. “She called me a ‘bumping wonder.’ I believe I’ve never been so insulted in my life. And between my mother and company, I have known my fair share. How do you think I feel? ”

“Gunned down and rejected?” Piped Peter. A pillow promptly found Peter’s face.

“No, Pete.” Sirius said scornfully.

“Well, technically she was complimenting you.” Said a James Potter, looking half amused, half concerned for his pal. “She used the word, ‘wonder.’ Lily uses it on me all the time.”

Remus snorted.

“She called you a baffling bumbling wonder, James.”

“Yes, but wonder was still implied. I wonder her, therefore she thinks about me, therefore we are meant to be together!” James said enthusiastically, his grin becoming wider and wider by the second.

“Your deductive reasoning is quite impressive, Potter” Remus drawled but smiled slightly.

At this statement Sirius started. “Your deductive reasoning is quite impressive, a new Sherlock Holmes.” 

“Wait, Remus, who is Sherlock Holmes?” Sirius started suddenly. Suddenly thoughts of that day swam through his head. Janelle trying to lie about having friends, which at the time was vastly amusing but now seemed sort of sad. She had mentioned a Sherlock Holmes but he had deduced that it was merely a mental thing that only happened to Ravenclaws.

“Sherlock Holmes is a famous fictional detective. It’s a muggle book.” Remus replied automatically but then looked curiously at Sirius. “Why?”

Sirius shrugged nonchalantly. Remus merely gave him a suspicious stare but before anybody could say anything, James let out a loud yawn.

“What I want to know, Padfoot, is why you are so bothered by Marriot?” James yawned, plopping back unto his bed, an act that caused his already messy air to spread about the pillows in havoc. “For all the years we’ve known her, you’ve avoided her like the plague.”

A dark look crossed over Sirius’s face while Remus chuckled quietly.

“I’m not bothered.” Sirius muttered.

“Well then stop pouting, mate.” James said rolling comfortably in his blankets.

“I am not pouting!” Sirius said sullenly and inevitably started pouting like a child. He noticed this right away. “Damn.”

Everyone looked at him pointedly.

“Fine. She called me a stalker, okay?” Sirius mumbled.

“But that’s my job!” James exclaimed, bizarrely concerned that Sirius was taking his place in the stalker department.

Remus shook his head and rolled his eyes while Peter chortled.

“Obviously Prongs, I was wrongly accused.” Sirius responded by narrowing his eyes. “That girl just happens to be everywhere! She’s a like a walking time bomb.”

“To you.” Remus smirked in that oh-so-knowing smirk of his. “She’s just a girl, Sirius. You get over them quite quickly.” Remus said flippantly, repressing a grin.

“A bloody weird girl.” Agreed Peter.

Sirius nodded. Yes, Janelle Marriot was an oddity, the proclaimed freak of the Ravenclaw House with her blabbering ways. Who was Janelle Marriot to him anyway?

Granted, he never should have insulted her about her lack of social skills but it was so damn frustrating when she stared at him like that, like somehow she was inspecting him, like he was merely an object to be glanced at but found extremely dull and predictable. And Sirius Black was certain he was not dull, he was the epitome of cool, the essence of suave, the very picture of charm, and he therefore concluded that he could not be dull or predictable. It bothered Sirius to no ends that when Janelle looked at him her eyes did not hint to any of these things. There was no admiration, no awe, just a vague interest bordering on the uncomfortable. Her bluntness, though somewhat amusing, was unsettling.

Who was she anyway to him? A completely loony Ravenclaw so oblivious to the world that she just opened her mouth and spoke rubbish. So with that thought in mind Sirius quickly stopped being bothered by Janelle and drifted off to sleep.

Except, unfortunately for him, the look of vague interest that had crossed her face was still imprinted in his mind. Damn it. He really didn’t care what she thought of him. 


No, really he didn’t!


Short chapter but all filled with Janelle/Sirius moments. Anyway please review! I hoped you liked it.

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