A NOTE FROM THE IDIOT, NO AUTHOR: For this part of the story, at least, I assume that you know what happens in the first chapter of the epic Harry Potter series, so I won’t rewrite anything before my change. Well, neither the reader nor the author wants to spend too much time on this.
Attention: This story starts out in 1971, not 1981 and Harry starts Hogwarts in 1981 not 1991. Italics mean that they are not speaking English (but that doesn’t play much of a part in the story).
Appearing all alone on Privet Drive, a man of about forty years of age was alertly walking towards a door. He was going to visit his old friend from the military. He was walking towards #8 Privet Drive when he heard a loud bang and the sound of a distant motorcycle, but this motorcycle was travelling much faster than it should have. The man is not an ordinary man. He is a Soviet. Not only is he a Soviet, but he is a spy for the Soviet Union.
Maxim quickly hid in a bush when he saw that the motorcycle was coming down Privet Drive. The man on the motorcycle was easily twice the size of any man he had seen before! Unbelievably, that same large man was holding a tiny baby that literally fit in the giant man’s palm! Suddenly, he heard a large popping noise from behind him and saw an old man walking towards the giant man. He heard the old man say that leaving the boy there was for the greater good of society.
Maxim never settled down to wed or to have children, but he knew that leaving an infant in a basket on a doorstep would not be for the greater good of anyone, especially not for the infant. He heard a woman scream when she saw the baby. She looked at it like it was some kind of grotesque monster. He ran over to the woman and said, “I will take care of the baby for you.” He saw the woman’s body language and it screamed that she wouldn’t care for it.
“Take this vile creature if you want him.” The woman yelled at Maxim. “You must be another one of those freaks. Take it, I don’t want it, nor do I need it.”
Maxim, normally a relaxed individual, was ready to scream his lungs out, but he knew better than that. He reached down to get the basket and quickly left. He made sure that nobody saw him when he sneaked into his friend’s house.
“How are you today Maxim, my old friend. Did you get much information about what those Americans plan to do to us next?” This man sounded around the same age, but he had an English accent, unlike Maxim’s Russian accent. The other man wasn’t a Soviet at all. He used to be a spy for Great Britain, but he was caught by Maxim and the man, Jon White, defected to the Soviet Union.
“I am fine, but I now am going to work part-time after tonight. Those Americans won’t do anything. They are all about talking about what they will do when the evil Soviets strike, but they are just finding reasons to throw money around the world.” Maxim had a serious expression on his old, gruff face. A loud crying noise came from the basket that Maxim carried. He picked up the baby “I need your help, Jon. I need you to go get some diapers and baby food for this small child. I saw this little tyke on the doorstep, two doors down. She practically yelled at me to take the baby.” Maxim held the baby and tried to comfort the small child.
“I should get at least a few baby spoons for you as well.” Jon quickly left to help his friend who was in need of some help. While he was holding the baby, he saw a letter in letter in the basket that housed the infant. He laid the now sleeping one-year old child on the cot and removed the letter. The first thing he noticed was that the letter was not written on paper, but it was written on parchment. He quickly read the writing.
Dear Mrs. Petunia Dursley,
This little child is Harry Potter, son of Lily Potter Evans and James Potter. It is with much sadness that I tell you that your sister and her husband died. They were killed by the evil Lord Voldemort. Harry here was attacked, but he survived. You’re the only family that he has left, so please treat him as you would your own. When he turns eleven, he will be able to attend Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry (the same school your sister attended) in Scotland. Your nephew will get an acceptance letter near his eleventh birthday.
Headmaster of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Maxim was enraged at the Petunia Dursley that had given him Harry. If he wasn’t a spy, then he would have screamed at the terrible woman. She left her nephew to a complete stranger. She probably would give him the baby even if he told her that he was a Soviet spy.
Jon came back with many jars of baby food and baby spoons. Maxim hid the letter in his pocket. He would look over the letter at a later time. “I nearly forgot, has anything happened around here or have you been doing anything recently?” Maxim asked Jon.
“They’re throwing money out the window, same as the Americans. At least the British are trying to find information about what supposedly evil things we are doing.” Jon answered Maxim.
“Well, you know that this was a business visit, so I must be going back home.” Maxim left so he could board his helicopter back to the USSR with baby Harry.
Seven years later
Maxim no longer worked as a spy, but he was a drill instructor and trained the Special Forces in the Soviet military. He comes home to find Harry sitting in a corner, frightened. All the books in the living room are floating about the room.
“Hello, Harry, what is wrong with you?”
“The weirdest thing happened. A man is literally frozen on the street.”
When Maxim got home from work, Harry told Maxim about what he saw. Harry thought that Maxim was acting unusually. He was looking for a letter that was written in parchment. Harry thought that he was going crazy, but Maxim found what he searched for. He quickly read the letter in the kitchen and put his finger on the word ‘Hogwarts’. Nothing happened when he did this.
“What are you doing, sir?” The young Harry asked.
“I think that you froze the man on the street, Harry, but I believe that it was an accident. I am looking at an old letter that kind of explains what happened.” Maxim told the young child. At that moment, he heard a large popping sound in the living room. Harry looked in there to find an old woman who looked weird. She had a robe on and a pointy hat. She looked around seventy-five years old.
“Hello, I am Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts. What seems to be the problem?” Minerva said the statement with obvious disgust in her voice. She didn’t even bother to look around.
“Hello, a man became frozen like magic” Maxim said in his Russian accent.
“Oh, Harry must have done his first accidental magic. Harry will you please come to me? Harry obeyed the woman. The woman still had not noticed the different surroundings.
“I scared after boom sound. Then man freeze.” Harry tried to tell the woman in the best English he could muster, but he couldn’t speak it well.
“This is pitiful. Harry can’t even speak English. What have you Dursleys done to the boy?” Minerva looked up not to see Petunia, but a man.
Maxim asked the woman, “Are you the one who gave the baby in a basket to a woman?”
“Why would I do that? It was my boss who put Harry there. But if Harry is with you and you aren’t the Dursleys, then who are you and how did you get Harry away from the Dursleys?”
“By the English, I am only supposed to be known as Maxim. I hid inside bushes when I heard a motorcycle come that night. I saw a giant man hold a little baby in a basket and I saw you set it down. The woman thrust the baby at me when she took one look at the baby, and I wouldn’t let a young creature go into the house of such a vile Englishwoman,” Maxim explained the reason behind Harry being in the USSR.
“So we are not in England at all?” Dumbledore asked Maxim.
“We are in the Soviet Union. Welcome to my country.” Maxim replied.
Minerva took care of the problem in a few seconds and she continued asking questions of how the boy’s life had been.
“To the others, Harry is a normal boy with an abnormal name.” Maxim and McGonagall laughed.
“How does he do in his studies?” Minerva asked Maxim.
“He is one of the smartest people in this village, but he does do other things than study. He also is one of the most fit kids for his age.” Maxim was practically bragging about how good Harry was at many different things.
“I knew that anywhere would be better than the Dursleys for Harry.” McGonagall thought. “I am sorry, but I have to leave now. It was a pleasure to meet you.” McGonagall said.
“It was a pleasure to meet you, too. It is evident that somebody in his home country cares about him.” Maxim replied happily. McGonagall left the house with a loud popping sound.
Harry politely asked, “Who is that woman, she spoke very differently.”
Maxim replied, “She will be your teacher in a few years. You will be able to do magic in a few years. You will go to a boarding school in Scotland when you turn eleven. You better learn to be more fluent in English if you want to fit in there.” Harry became amazed that he could do magic. For the next few days during his spare time, Harry tried doing magic again to no avail.
(Three years later)
Harry came into the door after being let out of school. He got the mail from outside the mailbox and saw a letter addressed to him on top. He went inside the house that he stayed in and opened it.
Dear, Harry Potter
You are accepted to Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The train for the school leaves at 11 o’clock in the morning. The train will leave from platform 9 ¾ on September 1.
I hope to see you soon,
Headmaster of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Harry was stunned that he actually was accepted to the school. He could now only do very simple magic like summon a pencil and make it sharpen itself. He could do almost all his indoor chores, but he got tired if he did it like that. His favourite thing to do was make the pencil write without holding it, but he did not ever try to do it when anybody but his guardian was present. His magic was so sub-par compared to what the other students would be.
When Maxim came home, Harry told his guardian about his acceptance letter. Maxim told him of his encounter with his aunt when he was one year old when he came home from his job. “We need to go to England; we only have two weeks before you go to school. I don’t know where to shop, so we better contact your deputy Headmistress.”
Maxim was able to find Harry’s letter from Albus Dumbledore that was now almost ten years old. He followed the postscript message and soon, Professor McGonagall came to their assistance.
“I am sorry Professor McGonagall for bothering you during a busy time of the year, but we have no connections as to how to get to the appropriate shopping centres.” Maxim told the woman. She did not look the least bit stressed or angry with them.
“It is fine. I actually expected you to call sooner. Normally, an owl will turn back if it is a long journey, but this one must have been determined to come to deliver your letter.” McGonagall stated. “I can take Harry to Diagon Alley today. He could come back here or I can let him stay at Diagon Alley.”
“It would probably be better to have a longer time to fit in with other wizards.” Maxim replied. “My co-workers told me that it took them a long time to get themselves acquainted with life in a different country.”
Harry said his goodbyes to his guardian.
Harry said his goodbyes to his guardian. “Harry, fly your flag proudly,” said Maxim as he gave Harry a Soviet flag.
“Thank you, sir.” Harry replied as he beamed with pride. Harry left with Minerva McGonagall.
“There is thing we must take care of before we go to England. Until you get into Hogwarts, We must hide your scar and change your appearance. Everybody will know who you are if you have that showing. You should answer to the name Harold Evans, not Harry Potter. One more thing, you should say that you’re from Norway, not the Soviet Union.” The woman told Harry in an informative tone. “You must grab hold of my hand and mustn’t let go.” McGonagall instructed the young boy. He listened and held the older woman’s hand with a firm grip. The two people left the Soviet Union with a loud popping noise.
They entered a large market area and Harry immediately heard many different voices. They all spoke English and their accents were different from his. He never left his town before and there was a very big difference between this place and his small, quiet hometown. Harry was amazed at every little thing that he saw. He saw people in robes instead of clothes. He saw moving pictures. He also saw brooms being displayed in public. Harry wondered why people would be crowding around a broom store window.
“First, you need to go get money from the bank in order to buy your supplies. You will need a bit of money because it is your first year.” McGonagall explained to Harry.
Harry went to his vault at Gringotts bank and left in order to shop for his school supplies and his wand. Harry was amazed at the simplest bits of magic. It could be used to make a wide variety of things. He saw magical jokes to magical books. He was amazed at the many different ways could be used.
Harry went into the bookstore, but he couldn’t understand what all the different characters on all the different titles of books were. “Professor McGonagall, is there some kind of magic that allows me to learn how to read in English?”
“I guess I could put a translation charm on you.” McGonagall told Harry as she cast the charm. She then taught the charm to the boy, so he could get through class like any other schoolboy would. Harry looked at the books, just to be amazed by the different things each one taught. He bought his schoolbooks and books on interesting subjects like occlumency and legilimency. He also became fascinated by the dark arts and their defences. He paid for them. He went to the other stores for his other school supplies. He went to the wand shop last.
“Hello Mr. Potter. It is a pleasure to finally meet you at last. I cannot give you your rightful wand, but I can give you your first wand.” A man said in an eerie tone of voice. “You will be great, but only you can determine how great you will be.” The man said. Harry tried wand after wand after wand, but he could not do anything with any of the wands. Harry thought about the reason why Hogwarts would want him in their school if he could not even use a wand. He tried wand after wand. He finally got a little magic going after he tried the wand made from the rattle of a rattlesnake and the wand was made of oak. It was thirteen inches long, but he had trouble doing anything with it. He couldn’t do anything unless he concentrated very hard.
Harry stayed in the hotel at the Leaky Cauldron, and he looked around to hang out with people his own age. He only saw one girl, named Ginny Weasley, but she wasn’t going to go to Hogwarts yet. She was going next year. He still talked to her, nonetheless. He liked talking to this girl. She listened when he spoke, and she gave her honest opinion. He also saw another person. He acted very arrogant and walked as if he owned the shopping centre. Harry tried to be friends with him, but the boy just pushed him off.
Two days before he was to leave for King’s Cross Station, he saw a pretty girl. She introduced herself as Cho Chang and she was a second year. She seemed happy to be in Diagon Alley, but she couldn’t wait to go to Hogwarts because she heard a rumour that the great Harry Potter is going to be coming there. She said that she would do whatever it would take to get Harry Potter to be her boyfriend. He met one more girl; both her parents were muggles, which he learned that the term, muggle, was a person who couldn’t do magic. He learned that her name was Hermione Granger; she had a passionate love for books of all kinds. They spent most of their time talking while she was looking for books. She also didn’t like the Soviets at all. To her, they were despicable, vile, evil, and nasty people who didn’t care about anybody but themselves. Harry had to suppress his emotions as she said these mean things about his nationality, but he had no hard feelings. He just told her that ignorance is bliss, which she scowled at.
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