Chapter 3 : Trust
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“Cho, everything will be fine,” Marietta whispers in my ear. I turn to look at her, and slowly shake my head.
“How can you say that,” is all I can muster out of myself. Marietta gave a small huff and then turned to look back at Dumbeldore. I shake my head again and squeeze her hand. Her eyes dart down quickly and then they immediately rest back upon Dumbeldore. I know that I am treating everyone around me harshly but I can’t help it. I just feel so angry all the time. Then at the same time I am always sad, always crying, always mourning. Dumbeldore dismisses everyone from their seats, and while everyone around me gets up I just don’t have the strength. Marietta tries her hardest to persuade me to get up from my seat but I just stare out in front of me and shake my head. She finally gives up and stalks away, sour as can be.
“Hello.” My eyes travel to my left to see Mr.Diggory sitting himself beside me. I swallow the catch in my throat.
“Hello,” I say through tears. I try to inhale slowly through my nose but I cannot, so the breath enters through my mouth in a shaky manner. I hear Mr.Diggory sigh, I flinch as his hand grasps my shoulder and reassuringly squeezes it. I shake it off immediately, I don’t want anyone to try and comfort me because so far no one has helped. All anyone has done is intensify the pain.
“Look I know that Cedric meant a lot to you and I know that right now the pain…is strong but soon you’ll realize that he wouldn’t want you to be like this…he wouldn’t want you to-”
“STOP IT,” I screamed with every scrap of power within me, “EVERYONE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!” I pushed my chair over and ran from the room, my sobs echoing through the halls. I rounded a corner and felt my elbow slam against the side of the wall but I felt nothing, I was num from the world. I felt nothing save for sadness. I needed him, I wanted him, and I was nothing without him. All I could do was run, when I was running no one seemed to stop me and that was what I was wanting. To be left alone to gather my thoughts. I finally stopped running long enough to catch my breath, I opened my eyes after inhaling and realized I was standing in front of the door that led outside. I looked behind me and watched for a sign that anyone had followed me. After a moment I opened the doors and walked outside into the dense afternoon air.
I walked alone around the lake until I reached the other side, knowing exactly where I was going and what I was intending to do. I slowly approached a large oak coffin, and making sure that know one was watching I removed the lid. Inside of the coffin lay the body of Cedric. His skin was turning the palest of blues, his lips chapped and dry. His eyes were open in shock, as no one had dared to close them. His last moments of life were captured on his face and it took every ounce of me just to continue looking at him.
“You must have been scared,” I say to his lifeless form. I sniffle and wipe a tear from my eye. “Being in that graveyard.” I stop for a moment, Dumbeldore’s words ringing in my head. “Though I am not supposed to tell you this I feel it is your right to know. Last night, Cedric Diggory was murdered in a graveyard by Voldemort.”
“And there you are. I…I just can’t believe that you are dead, and here I am…alive. It just doesn’t seem right. I mean, you told me we were going to be married in a few years. Once the both of us got out of Hogwarts. You…you were so young. Bloody hell you’re only a seventh year.” At that moment I broke down, I slammed my fists into the side of the coffin and sank to the ground. I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed him to live.
“Why did you do this to me,” I screamed at the coffin. I shook it harshly, rocking the legs of it off balance. I slammed myself on the ground and continued to cry, I sobbed until my eyes simply refused to do so any longer. My body shook with such intensity that it scared me; I had never felt so strongly. When my aunt had died a year ago I went to the funeral and I cried, but they were silent tears. Not anything like these, I’m not even sure that what I was crying were tears. Perhaps they were more than tears, they were every emotion I had felt for Cedric and every feeling I had felt while I was with him.
A loud crash sounds and I look up to see that the coffin has fallen over. I jump up instantly and stand the coffin back up. My hands shake as I go to pick up Cedric’s body from off the ground, I feel his cold skin brush against mine and it is all that I can do to lift his body off the ground and back into the coffin. I sink back down to the ground and lean against the legs of the coffin, steadying myself. I look at my surroundings and a small note on the ground catches my eye. I crawl over to it and twist it in my fingers for a moment; it takes me only that long to realize that Cedric wrote it. Slowly I open it, curious as to whom it was for.
I wrote this just in case, I don’t really think that I’ll need this but…all the same I needed a back up plan. I was researching the tournament today and people have been known to die in the maze, or at the very least they come out different. I hope that that doesn’t happen to me, but if it should there are a few things I want you to know. One is that this past year with you has been nothing but bliss for me. I never imagined I would land a girl like you. You are so smart, so beautiful, and you amaze me every single day. There have been times when I wake up and find myself wondering, “Why did she pick me?” The second thing I wanted to tell you is that you and my dad mean more to me than anyone else on this planet. If something should happen to me I want you to promise to take care of him for me. The last thing I have to tell you is that if I have died I do not want you going on with your life in some depressed mood. I know that what we have is more than special, but if I die I want you to find someone that will make you happy. When I’m looking down from heaven I want to see you smiling that gorgeous smile of yours. And for the record, if I die…I’m glad that you were the last girl I ever kissed. The last girl I ever truly loved.
For the longest while I just stared down at the note, letting small tears trail down my cheekbone. Every now and then I would wipe them away with my thumb, but I couldn’t get my mind off of that final sentence, “I’m glad that you were the last girl I ever kissed. The last girl I ever truly loved.” I sputtered a cough as I reread this sentence. I shook my head to clear my thoughts, and that’s when I knew something had to be done.
I breathed in a heavy breath and nodded. While folding up the note I stood up and walked over to the coffin one last time. I held onto the sides of it as I leaned in and softly kissed Cedric’s stone cold cheek. I let my lips linger upon his skin for only a second longer than I needed to say goodbye. I looked up to the sky and smiled brightly, stretching my grin as far as it would go.
“I hope you can see that from heaven,” I shouted to the skies above me. And a wind circled itself around my body, tickling my skin. I laughed and turned around in circles as the wind sped up, and finally in a whistle it was gone. I sighed and walked back over to the coffin. I placed the lid back on and began my trek back up to the castle.
Love is giving someone the power to break you, and that's what I did for Cedric. I allowed myself to love him enough so that if something did happen to him it would do more than hurt. It would haunt my every thought with all of our memories. All of those moments that made me love him more. Marietta always tell me that she swears I know nothing at all, but if that were true I wouldn't know what love was. I, Cho Chang, know what love is...it's trust. And to fall in love you have to be willing to trust that person, just as I did with Cedric.
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