Chapter 11 : Chapter Eleven
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The Life Dissertation of Lovette Luclare was plagiarized. Yes, someone stole my story and tried to pass it off as their own on another site. I was....murderous.
I shouldn’t have to say this, but plagiarism is wrong. To steal someone else’s creation and say its yours is one of the most despicable things you can do. That is not just my story, its my soul (dramatic, but true). It took me a year to write that story and I have become so attached to those characters, its sickening to think that someone tried to claim them. My heart and mind built them. They are uniquely mine. No matter what kind of writer you are, no two characters are ever the same.
And so, this person copied and pasted my writing onto hers, changing the OC’s name from “Lovette” to another. And when I went through the story, I noticed that the “author” had missed quite a few places where Lovette’s name still was and not her “character’s”. Honestly, if you have the mind to disrespect me and be a thief, the least you can do is plagiarize it correctly.
However, I would like to thank SorceresSectumSempra for catching the culprit. If she had not emailed me about it, I would have never known. So, all of my true friends, if you see something out there that looks a lot like my writing, please contact me. Plagiarism isn’t just illegal, it completely violates people as writers. I nearly stopped writing on the internet altogether because of this. I was in tears.
Yeah, I know people must be thinking that this thief must have been a real fan if they loved my story enough to want it as their own. But, if you’re a real fan, you would respect me and my writing and leave it alone.
Anyway, let me return you to your regularly scheduled program (and if you steal this or any of my writing, I’ll beat your ass).
I walked into the Great Hall the next day, not feeling the total refreshment that I should have (or that I had planned after the previous night), but pretending as though I oozed it.
Truth was, I didn’t feel any better about Bliss. I know I apologized, and originally, that was what I wanted, to apologize and not care what her reaction (or lack thereof) was. But in learning of Bliss’ mother...I felt different. True, I didn’t know the entire story of Bliss’ mother, But I did know that something wasn’t right. And Bliss was...Bliss for a reason. As much as I wanted to know the full story, I knew that Bliss would never trust me enough to tell me. And honestly, that brought a sting of hurt to me. Why? I have no clue.
But alas, I continued my confident swagger as I neared the Gryffindor table, particularly at the end where the five members ‘I Hate James Club’ sat.
As usual, they were all there at first glance. Albus was picking at his food while in a deep conversation about something with Arielle. Rose had her nose buried in a text book again (or better yet, still). And before I even saw Lily, I knew she was asking Bliss about something I could really care less about.
But as I approached the table, I realized that four people were seated and not five. Lily was sitting beside Albus with a bit of a lonely expression as everyone else chatted, seeing that she had no one to converse with. Bliss was nowhere in sight.
Oh great... I thought, knowing the lack of Bliss’ presence was not a good thing.
“Alright children,” I announced, making my company known. The group looked up at me, it took a lot for me not to recoil at their glares.
“I apologized to your precious Bliss. Happy now?”
Okay...so maybe that wasn’t the smartest thing to say.
“No,” Albus said bluntly, shrugging, “no, we’re not.”
I let out a growl of frustration as the rest of the group nodded in agreement to Albus’ statement.
“What now?!” I seethed. Now it was their attitude that was less than affable, not mine, “I’ve said I was sorry...what more do you want?!”
But Albus remained cool.
“I want you to mean it.”
“No you don’t!” Lily snapped, “You don’t care!” I threw my hands up.
“What does it matter? As long as I apologized...”
Arielle now held my attention, for she was smiling. Not the kind of “ha ha” grin...but this odd sort of despondent smile.
“You just don’t get it James. Words can only speak so much...you have to mean it.”
“No, let me speak. I know you...and I can see that just because you said that you were sorry doesn’t mean that you or Bliss believe it.
“In ‘talking’ to her, you just continued to lie to yourself.”
There was a long pause. No one said anything, even the dull chatter of the other students eating breakfast couldn’t be heard beneath the thick silence.
“She’s outside if you want to mean it this time.” Arielle stated, turning away from me.
Slowly, I made my way out of the Great Hall, ready just to get this off of my shoulders.
I must have gone insane. Not because I was actually listening to someone. But because I had gone outside without a cloak. Now, I’m not sure if any of you are aware of this, but I’m in Scotland, in the winter...its freaking freezing!
Storming outside of the school, I made my way blindly throughout the school grounds, completely clueless as to where Bliss was. It was snowing lightly, adding another blanket to the mass already piled onto the ground. If I didn’t die from embarrassment of actually talking to Bliss, I would surely die of hypothermia.
And so, gathering my natural instincts and knowledge of Bliss, I brainstormed on where she would be hiding (and yes, I do use my brain).
If I were Bliss...where would I be?
I stood for a moment, pondering her location. However, I soon found that I had to keep moving unless I wanted to suffer from some serious frost bite.
“No...too easy.” I corrected myself, trying to narrow down my choices.
I furrowed my brows for a moment. Bliss actually being in the Herbology greenhouses seemed like a logical place.
“No...they keep those locked in the winter.”
Damn it! My inner voice cursed. I was starting to run out of choices. There were only so many places that Bliss could hole up. I knew the school grounds were massive, but in the winter, chances of really hiding were slim unless you blended in with your surroundings. And in this case, your surroundings were snow.
Well, she is really pale...
I chuckled aloud at the thought of Bliss just standing in front of me, concealed by the that that she was so pale, her skin tone nearly matched the bright white of the snow.
“The lake?” I questioned aloud. I knew Bliss was weird, but she’s not stupid enough to go swimming in below freezing water!
“I thought only the Russians did that...”
The lake as in beside the lake, dumbass.
A grin broke out over my face. Yes, it seemed perfectly rational for Bliss to be sitting beneath the beech tree by the lake. Or on the large rock some few feet alongside the tree.
And so I began to jog to the lake as quickly as I could, for my feet were soon beginning to give into the feeling of numbness.
As I neared the lake, the old beech tree came into view. I could not see Bliss there yet, but with her albino-like features, I still had hope of her existence.
Sure enough, as I reached the tree, a figure was crouched beside the frozen lake. And, sure enough that figure was Bliss.
She was, as usual, clad in a flowing white dress which matched perfectly with her skin. Her platinum hair was let down, reaching beyond her waist so that it barely grazed the snowy ground as she sat. She was singing softly to herself again. I assumed that this quiet chanting masked my arrival, for she made no movement of recognition as I approached her stooping form.
I drew in a breath, ready to declare my attendance. But another voice sliced the air before mine.
“Why are you here?” Her voice was not the usual smooth tone that I was used to. Nor was it the desperate note that I had witnessed last night in the Common Room. No, today Bliss’ voice held something that I could never have expected it to have: anger.
I was slightly taken aback by her tone, and shivered, though I was sure it was not caused by the iciness of the winter wind. It had been the bitterness of Bliss.
Three and a half months ago, I would have been thrilled to see an emotion from Bliss. Triumphant in proving that everyone had to feel something. But instead, as I stood behind Bliss, I was less than victorious at her emotion. I was ashamed.
“I-I wanted to say that I was sorry.” I choked on my words, unable to say the right thing. She cocked her head slightly to the side, though not allowing me to see her face.
“You already did.” She snapped. Yet again, I was at a loss for words.
“You wanted to mean it?” She asked, now turning to face me.
Her blonde brows were scrunched in a frown, her white lips curving down. Her golden eyes were slightly narrowed. I became slightly distracted as a snowflake landed directly on her eyelashes. She didn’t blink, nor take any notice that it was there. She continued to glare.
“Yes?” Was all I could muster, but it ended up sounding more like a question than a statement. Bliss was making me nervous. My heart began to race beneath her stern stare. My palms became sweaty, regardless of the pelting snow and freezing temperature.
“Who sent you?” Bliss rolled her eyes, “Albus? Lily? Arielle...?”
“No one...” I responded, my fingers nervously fiddling with a pull on the bottom of my jumper. I could feel Bliss’ eyes on me once again.
“So you want to know about last night?” She wasn’t asking me if I wanted to hear her story, she was more asking if that was my reason for finding her.
Truth be told, that was my exact reason.
I shook my head ‘no’, however, not wanting her to think I was a total jerk.
Even though I’m sure she already knew that.
“Don’t lie.” She demanded. Soon, I found myself nodding.
“Sit down.” She sighed, waving her hand dismissively to the ground around her. If I had been in my right mind, I would not have sat on the ground in the middle of winter. But I wasn’t in my right mind. I was with Bliss.
Bliss inhaled deeply as she turned to face me, though her eyes did not find mine. She sat with her knees to her chest, her arms snaked around them, holding herself close. Her hands began to fidget as she absentmindedly played with her fingers.
“My parents were so in love. Absolutely, and completely in love. I can still remember the way my mum used to look at my father. So...adoring. Kind of like he was the only person in the world. And nothing else mattered.”
She didn’t look up at me, but I found myself nodding for her to continue. I was completely lost as to how her parents’ relationship pertained to anything...but I still craved more.
“One day, when I was young...so very young...my father started screaming at my mother. It was...strange, seeing my father like that. And I guess my mother felt the same...she was mortified. He had never spoken to her like that. Nor did I think that he ever would. They had never ever shown any sign of disagreement. Ever. I was...disillusioned. Disillusioned by my father’s love for my mother.
“I don’t even remember what had happened that had caused him to be so enraged. My mother doesn’t ever talk about it. But, I can remember one thing that he said to her before he completely walked out... ‘You’re not perfect...you’re not what I wanted’.
“That quote has stuck with me for so long. As it has with my mother. She never forgot it. And I know it haunts her. It never stops repeating in her mind.
“And so, what she did was drop my father’s last name. She deemed the both of us unworthy to have it. Unworthy to have a surname at all. And as for my appearance...I’m naturally like this. Gold eyes and all.”
She smiled at this, though the acidic note still pounced within it. I was in complete shock.
“I was taught to be perfect. I grew up speaking grammatically correct, sitting straight, knowing the right thing to say at the right time. I grew up being perfect. It was what my mother has always instilled in my mind, in my being. And so, I did it. She didn’t want the same heartbreak for me as she had.
“I always hated. I always knew that it wasn’t natural to be prefect...that my mother was...neurotic. But I did it anyway, no one questioned me. And it made my mother happy. What was I supposed to do?
“But you...” She chuckled, shaking her head, “you just...hated me. You hated the perfect side of me. And for so many years, I ignored. I bottled it up and continued to be what my mother taught me to be.
“It was so weird to be pushed in two different directions. My mother was telling me to be perfect and maintain what I was and you...you said differently. You found it weird...freakish. So when you finally hit the right nerve, I cracked.”
I blushed, remembering when I had insulted her mother and Bliss had screamed at me.
“James, for someone that hates me so much...you seem to care a whole lot about the way I am.”
“Its unnatural.” I mumbled.
“No...its perfect.” She corrected. My eyes met hers.
“Its unnatural.” I repeated. She smiled, a real, true smile.
Bliss stood up, not even bothering to dust the snow off of her dress.
“That’s why I am, like I am, James. I know what you think. But I still know what my mother thinks. So, it’s a little difficult to decide what I want. Do I be who I really am? Or do I be who my mother wants me to be?”
I rose from my spot now. I looked down at Bliss, taking in her every feature.
“I think that’s for you to decide, and not anybody else.”
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