Chapter 1 : "I'm in Love
| ||Rating: 15+||Chapter Reviews: 6|
Change Background: Change Font color:
I’m in love
Hermione hung her coat in the hallway of number twelve Grimmauld Place before walking into the kitchen, Harry was sitting at the table a fresh cup of tea in his hands, he glanced up as she entered, he watched her every move as she walked over to the counter next to the sink and picked up her mug. He knew from the frown on her face that there was something wrong and he wondered if he should say anything, as he drew in his breath to speak she beat him to it.
“Harry, do you love Ginny, I mean really truly love her?” she asked as she poured herself some tea.
Harry was about to say ‘of course’ but something in the way Hermione asked made him pause, “Er I’m not sure I know what you mean, in fact I’m not sure if I actually know what love is…” his voice faded and he realised he really didn’t know if he loved Ginny. He liked the kissing and cuddling but which bloke his age wouldn’t, he doubted he would miss it too much if it stopped.
“You don’t know what love is?” she asked a little surprised.
“Well it’s not like I ever saw any growing up,” he reminded her.
“Well could you live without seeing her every day?” she questioned.
“Could you get by without her in your life, is she the first one you think of telling when something happens, is she the first one you think of every morning when you wake and the last one you think of when you go to sleep, someone whose needs you always put before your own, someone who’s happiness makes you happy?” Hermione continued.
Harry stared at her as the questions left her mouth, he knew the answer without thinking about it, he found him self shocked by his own thoughts as she stared at him waiting for him to answer.
“There is only one someone that I couldn’t live without seeing, someone who I couldn’t imagine not being in my life, someone I tell everything too, someone I would die for without thinking about it?” he replied slowly.
“Oh” was all she said.
“The odd thing is it’s not Ginny, it never has been, so that’s what being in love is like?” he looked up at her and she saw the puzzled look in his eye.
“It’s what my dad told me about how he knew he loved my mum… Ron asked me to marry him this morning,” she added almost in a whisper.
When he heard those words Harry felt his stomach clench as though she had just thumped him, a sudden fear gripped his heart and he suddenly knew what love was, real true selfless love, he knew exactly what he felt for Hermione. His face must have given away his feeling of shock because she looked at him surprised.
“Are you okay Harry?” she asked wondering about the emotions playing in his eyes, emotions she had never seen him display so rapidly before, shock, Horror, jealousy, fear, and finally sadness, all flashed through his emerald eyes before he looked down into his cup.
“I suppose that’s how you feel about Ron, all those things you said?” he said as he sipped at his tea avoiding her eyes “so when’s the happy day?”
“I told him I wasn’t ready yet,” she murmured
She saw the look of relief on his face, and as he glanced up at her she saw happiness flash across his eyes.
“Truth is, when he asked me it made me wonder why I chose to go out with him, it made me think about my true feelings,” she locked eyes with him as she spoke.
“I’ve been fooling myself Harry, telling myself I could fall in love with him, fact is I don’t love Ron, I never will, I don’t if I’m honest, even like him all that much, he’s bad tempered, unreasonably jealous and possessive, his manners are non existent, and I want someone I can talk to, discuss things with, all Ron seems capable of is arguing. I want someone who will support me in what ever I do, not someone who feels the need to pick fault with everything. Besides there is someone I really do love.”
Harry suddenly opened his eyes wider “Why did you ask me about Ginny, about the way I feel?”
“I just needed… I wanted… I…” her voice faded as she tried to tell him but couldn’t.
“Those feelings, the ones you said your dad told you about, that’s us isn’t it, you and me?” Harry said as he reached over and placed his hand on hers.
“I didn’t know if you felt the same, I’ve felt that way about you for a long time, it’s the only reason I live in this awful house with you and Ron, it’s the reason I always stuck with you through everything,” she answered smiling at his use of the word ‘us’.
“When Ron proposed I felt sick somehow, like… oh I don’t know, like I had been using him to stay close to you, like he was second best, a consolation prize for the girl nobody else wanted, I felt guilty,” her eyes fell from his face and stared at the table top.
“I think I need to go out,” Harry said as he placed his cup down firmly on the table.
Hermione suddenly thought she had heard things wrong, misread things; she pulled her hand back and shakily lifted her cup.
“Yeah, I need to go to the Burrow, I have to tell Ginny it’s off, it’s all over,” Harry almost laughed “bloody hell I’m in love with Hermione Granger!”
While Hermione digested what he was saying he leant over the table and placed a tender kiss on her lips, a kiss that filled her with pleasure, a kiss like no other she had ever had, it filled her soul with fire, it was full of love and promise.
“Bloody hell!” he exclaimed as he pulled back and took a deep breath “bloody hell!”
Hermione sat transfixed as Harry threw some floo powder into the fire then yelled ‘the Burrow’, vanishing in a flash of green flame. She sat in a daze, the lingering tingle of the kiss still on her lips, ‘Harry loves me, Harry has just kissed me’ repeated over and over in her mind.
Still in a daze she picked up the cups and placed them in the sink, the realisation that Harry had recognised his real feelings and was now at the Burrow telling Ginny suddenly filled her with sorrow, the last thing she wanted to do was to hurt any of the Weasleys, but then she thought of all that she and Harry had been through together, and she knew that they, or at least Harry deserved some real happiness now.
A bright flash of green light lit up the kitchen and when she looked over to the fire place her heart sank. Ron stepped from the fire place with his usual welcome of “hello love, is dinner ready.”
He walked straight toward her and she knew he was going to kiss her hello, but she never wanted to be kissed by anyone else now she had felt Harry’s lips on hers, she side stepped him when he leant forward, giving him a very quick shallow hug.
“Ron sit down,” she told him determined that if Harry was telling Ginny she would tell him.
Ron sat at the table and poured himself a drink as he looked worriedly at her
“So is there a problem?”
Hermione checked to see that her wand was handy before leaning back on the sink “I’m sorry Ron but I don’t want to marry you, I want to marry someone who loves and respects me, someone who doesn’t always yell at me, some one who will actually talk to me, listen to me, in fact Ron it’s over, finished, I’m no longer your girlfriend.” She took a deep breath as she waited for his almost predictable reaction.
Ron took several seconds longer than she expected before he began to yell, “I’ve always treated you with respect, I know what this is, you want to have a fling before you settle down, that’s it isn’t it,” he thumped his hand down on the table making his cup jump.
Hermione sighed before asking him not to yell and to just listen to her, “Ron it’s over, can’t you just accept it?”
“No it’s not over, you love me, we are going to get married, it’s the way it’s supposed to be,” he yelled his face turning dark red.
“No Ron, I don’t love you, I’ve never loved you, and I never told you I did,” she said shouting herself.
Ron stood up and strode toward her “You don’t know what the hell your are saying, of course you love me.”
“Ron I don’t even like you, you are bad tempered, bad mannered, and immature,” she yelled back.
Neither of them noticed the fire flash green, neither of them knew that Harry was standing watching as Ron raised his hand, whether he was about to hit her she did not know because he was frozen with a Petrificus spell before he had finished the move. She stepped away from him and stood shaking behind Harry, the look of anger in Ron’s eyes had really frightened her.
When Harry released him from the spell Ron began to yell at Harry to keep out of things that were not his business.
“Anyone trying to hit Hermione is my business, now she told you its over so that’s the end of it,” Harry growled
“I won’t let it be bloody over, she just wants to bloody play around, well I won’t have it,” Ron swore but visibly deflated, his shoulders sagged and both Harry and Hermione knew that the yelling was over.
“I’ll just go up to my room, Ron said sounding dejected “I have to think.”
“No Ron, I’m sorry but I want you to pack your things and move out,” Harry said with sadness in his voice.
Hermione turned to look at him as Ron asked “What? Why?”
“I’m sorry Ron but you were just about to hit Hermione, I can’t trust you any more, so you need to leave,” Harry said firmly.
“You can’t believe I was going to hit her?” Ron asked sounding incredulous.
“I can only go by what I saw Ron, and I saw you lift your hand to Hermione, can you honestly tell me that in that stupid anger of yours you were not going to hit her, still I wont take that chance, my decision is made,” Harry turned to Hermione and took her hand leading her out of the kitchen and into the living room and away from Ron.
Forty minutes later Harry stood in the kitchen with Hermione and with a final wave of his wand he finished changing the wards, denying Ron to access to the house. That was the last day that any of the Weasleys spoke to Harry or Hermione.
A thing that struck Harry as odd when he was asked at their engagement party a few weeks later, if he missed the Weasleys, his honest answer was he missed the quirky house but that was all, he had not thought about the Weasleys for quite some weeks.