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Can't Touch This by prongslittleflower
Chapter 1 : And So, It Begins
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 15

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Disclaimer: We don’t own Harry Potter, but we would like to kid ourselves in the idea that we will one day own it.

BabyBlueEyes10 Author’s Note: Hello PEOPLE! It’s yours truly, babyblueeyes10 and amuletgirl5, here and finally getting around to writing a story together. For all you out there, I, babyblueeyes10 will be writing all the odd chapters and amuletgirl5 will be writing all the even. Any questions? Good, please feel free to leave any questions, comments, etc. in a review and we will reply with your answers. We hope to have up chapters every month, but don’t hold us to that schedule. Anyways, read on and enjoy our new story!!!!!


Alexa’s Point of View

I was sitting in Transfiguration one day when I felt a tug at the back of my head. I was like, ‘Who is tugging at the back of my head.’ Therefore, I decided to ask. “Who is tugging at the back of my head?” I turned around to see Sirius Black, his hand outstretched to my head. “I’m sorry,” He said, “I was tugging at the back of your head.” I smiled and was like, “That’s alright Sirius.” Then we went back to the lesson without any more problems. The rest of the day went swimmingly…


Sitting in Transfiguration, I sighed, squeezing my hands convulsively as there was a sharp tap to the back of my head. Again. I growled low in my throat as I tried not to turn around and round house someone’s head off. “Calm down, Alexa. Don’t let him know it bothers you.” My loving and adoring sister, Lyla said. Maybe I should tell you a little about my friends and myself. I, your loving narrator, am Alexa. I am in my sixth year here at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I have curly brown hair and green/hazel eyes. I’m around 5’7 and like boys, eating, and causing trouble. We’re muggle born and I will beat you up if you call me any derogatory names! Get it, got it, good.

My sister, Lyla, is a nine months older than me and looks about the same as I do. We are Irish twins. Her brown hair is shorter than mine is and she straightens it instead of leaving it curly. Her eyes are a bluish-green and she likes school way more than I do or anyone should. The boy Lyla’s likes, though she won’t tell anyone, is Remus Lupin, part of the esteemed group of the Marauders, but more on them later. My other friend, Bree, is 5’8, has long brown hair, long legs, and dances wonderfully in high-heels. She is extremely smart and she and Lyla get along great. Especially during exam week. She is currently dating Travis Greenwell, a seventh year at Hogwarts. My other friend Blair is the shortest of the group at 5’4 and is the less studious next to me. She has chocolate brown eyes, golden brown hair with longer layers framing her face. She is currently dating James Potter, one of the ’Marauders.’ We’ve been best friends forever and always will be.

The mongrels sitting behind my sister and I were the ever elite group called the marauders. They were the rulers of trouble, and seemed to take pride in that title. Each and everyday they strutted around the school acting as if they owned the place and everyone in it. The so-called ‘leader’ of the Marauders is James Potter, Blair’s boy toy and number one trouble causer. He has the messiest black hair, hazel eyes hidden behind dorky glasses that somehow make him even cuter, and is about 5’11. Everyone thought that James was after Lily Evans, stuck up and smartest witch of our age, but he surprised everyone by asking out our little Blair. They’ve been dating for about two months and seem to be ‘in love’.

Next is Remus Lupin, the studious troublemaker, is part of the group as well. He has sandy brownish-blonde hair and gold eyes. I don’t how his eyes became that golden color, but I have to give him respect for that. He is about the same size as James, but he always seems to look a little peaky and sick. I don’t know why, but I guess that’s why that boy is a mystery to us all. Maybe that’s why Lyla likes him? By the way, Remus has a girlfriend. Boo!

Remus’ girlfriend, Andy Ablo (no lie that really is her name), is a complete female dog. She hates my sister, Blair, me with a passion because she is Lily Evans’ friend and Lily seems to have taken a disliking to us. Andy has blue eyes, blonde hair, big curves, and is tall. She is the stereotype airhead, of which she has all the qualities. If we hang out with the Marauders, which we do often, I always try to hint to Remus to dump her and date Lyla, but he always just blushes. Sigh.

Last, and in my eyes least, is Sirius Black. Cue swooning girls and that devilish smile. Sorry, I just threw up a little in my mouth. Anyways, Black has black hair (fancy that) that he keeps long so it falls into his eyes and he can flip his hair and cause the girls to go crazy. To me, it’s rather annoying, but then again I guess it’s not so bad. His piercing grey/silver eyes bare into your soul and hold you in his stare. Cough, uh, never mind that. He holds the key to every girl’s heart and doesn’t he know it. He’s about 6’1 and is the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome. I despise the boy. One, because he is the root of all the evil in my life.

And two, because I am hopelessly in love with him.

I know, I know, didn’t I just spend five minutes telling you about how I despise the boy. Yes, that’s correct, I did. But I don’t know why I have these feelings towards him. It’s like how you like someone even though you seem to hate them with a passion. Must be some sort of reverse psychology. Besides the fact that he likes to bug me, make fun of me, and embarrass me at the worst of times, he’s not really that bad. Except for now, when I’m trying to listen to Professor McGonagall and he’s taken to flicking me in the back of the head and pulling my hair. Why, oh why, did I sit here today?

I sent Lyla a look, but she only shrugged and went back to taking the notes that I would copy later. Turning around slowly, I looked at Sirius who was sitting beside James in the seat behind me. “What?” I whispered shrewdly as I tried to keep my voice from hitting a high pitch while McGonagall was lecturing. Sirius sent me his best innocent smile, the one where his lips tilt up and his dimples show just a bit, and I swooned on the inside. I frowned, not only at Sirius, but at myself. Best keep those thoughts to myself.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Lexi.” Sirius said while using that completely irritating nickname he has chosen for me. Gritting my teeth and sending him a ‘don’t even go there’ look, I turned back around to face the front of the classroom again. I found that McGonagall was sitting up at her desk and was finished lecturing for the day. I looked at Lyla who was still busy taking notes, rolled my eyes, and then looked over to Blair, who also has this class with us. She was idly chewing her gum and making little swirls on her paper with her pen. I stared at her until she looked over at me, then motioned to my pen and paper. She smiled and then turned back to her own paper to write. I watched my paper as it lit up and then light blue writing appeared on it.

Hey, Alexa. How’s it going over there?

I smiled and muttered an incantation, then turned to write my reply, the green writing scrawling on the parchment.

So boring! What’s going on over there and do you know if McGonagall says we have homework?
Uh, nope, I couldn’t tell you. But I saw you talking to Sirius. He so likes you!

I rolled my eyes and sent a playful glare over to Blair, who only gestured to the paper where writing was beginning to form.

Don’t even deny that you don’t like him. I’ve seen the way you look at him. It’s the same way I look at James.

I can’t say much about that right at this minute, but I may just give you the details later if you can keep your mouth shut.
Yay! Insert squeal! Okay, that will definitely work. I just looked off Lily’s paper (yes I know, kill me now, why do I have to sit with her?) and it seems that no we do not have homework, but there is extra credit.

Huh, well, I shant be doing it. Want to go to the lake after class, Lyla has a prefect meeting. ;)
Definitely, I’ll just tell James to come along.

Aw, you two are just little love birds. See you after class!
I resent that. See you!

I looked around the room to see if anyone had spotted our notes, but everyone was engrossed in their work. Shrugging to myself, I folded up the paper and shoved it to the bottom of my bag just as the bell trilled and we were let out of class. I sighed in relief and scooped up my stuff, ready to be done with school for the day. Lyla was already half-way out the door when I looked up, eager to get to her prefects meeting so she could see Remus. I laughed a bit when I saw Lily Evans making her way to the meeting as well, remembering the face Lily had when she found out there had been three prefects this year.

“So, Alexa, anything you want to talk about before we get to the lake?” Blair asked as she walked beside me on the way to drop our stuff off in the Common Room. I smiled wickedly and shook my head no. I waved to Bree, who was sitting next to Travis on a bench beside the window, and she waved back, mouthing that she would talk to us later. Blair huffed as we sat our stuff on the couch we had named ours and turned to leave the room. Her huff turned into a smile as James, and Sirius, walked through the doors. “Hey, James!” She said reaching her arms up to give him a hug. He smiled at her and lifted her up slightly off the ground. Sirius and I stood looking at each other, my legs feeling like they were going to turn to jelly as his silver irises looked at me.

“Hey, Black.” I said looking down at my shoes and feeling a blush rise to my cheeks. I watched as his black trainers scuffed the ground a little and his eyes held a bit of laughter in them. He looked at me through his bangs and gave me a crooked smile.

“Hey, Lexi.” Sirius quoted. I looked up at anything but his eyes and blushed when his smile turned into a smirk. “So,” He dragged out slumping on to a red and yellow upholstered couch where we had sat our bags. “Got any plans for this afternoon?” He asked pulling a stray pen from behind his back with a grimace. I shrugged, biting my lip and sitting a safe distance away from Sirius on the couch.

“Uh, I think we’re going to take a walk outside, but James and Blair look like they’ve already left without me.” I sighed and leaned against the couch, wanting to get up and join Blair, but not wanting to be the third wheel. When I looked up, Sirius was sitting closer to me so that our arms were touching. I tried to keep my cool as my heart sped up and my stomach began to flutter. What the heck is wrong with me!? Anyways, he leaned closer to me holding out his hands and putting them in my line of vision.

“Lexi, you want to see something interesting?” He asked temptingly and even though I should know better to look, what with Sirius being only the biggest prankster in the school next to James, my curiosity was piqued. I brought his hands closer to me, electricity shooting down my hands and butterflies assaulting my organs as I did so, and tried to peek through his fingers. “Boo!” He yelled opening his hands and causing me to shriek like a little first year. He let out his bark-like laugh and fell backwards against the cushions as I let my heart rate decrease. When I didn’t feel like my heart was going to explode, I turned to Sirius gritting my teeth and feeling an evil glint in my eyes. His eyes widened and he got up from the couch, holding out his hands in surrender. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, I didn’t mean anything by it.”

With an animalistic growl, I jumped from the couch, darting after Sirius as he ran past some first years, the portrait whole, and out into the hall where he ran down the stairs. “I’m going to kill you, Black!” I yelled as I chased him out the door of the front hall and onto the lawn where many older students were moseying around. I saw Sirius run towards the lake where I saw two people sitting under the tree and I followed him. Reaching out and grabbing onto the back of his robes I jumped onto his back. We were right in front of the lake and the people, who turned out to be Blair and James, and I laughed at Sirius as I pulled his hood over his face so he couldn’t see. “Say your sorry, Sirius, and I might let you go.” Laughing, I turned to look at James and Blair, as well as most of the lawn, and saw that everyone was watching. Some, mostly the people who knew me, were laughing along, Sirius’ fan girls were scowling and freaking out, and others just didn’t really care.

“Get off me, Lexi!” Sirius muffled voice shouted from under his trappings. Blair and James were laughing as I held on tighter so I wouldn’t fall to the ground. My laughter and Sirius’ struggling came to an abrupt stop when someone cleared their throat loudly from behind us. I turned Sirius to face the voice and pulled his hood from his head, expecting a teacher, but rolling my eyes when I saw who it was. “What do you want, oh mighty prefect?” I asked sarcastically to Lily Evans. She was standing with her hands on her hips and a permanent scowl etched into her features. Her envious green eyes watched me as I slid from Sirius’ back.

“Please try to refrain from mauling your own housemate, Alexa.” She told me with a haughty manner. I rolled my eyes and noticed that Lyla, Remus, and Andy Ablo were coming up behind Lily. Blair was suddenly by my side with James, and Blair and Lily commenced a staring contest. Jeez, Lily really needs to loosen up. “Perhaps everyone should just back off, hmm?” Lily announced while fluffing her hair up and turning to face Andy and Remus. “Maybe you should tell your friends to back off, Remus.”

Blair huffed and grabbed Lyla’s arm, pulling her over beside us to make us look like we were standing in a line-up at jail. “We never asked for a lecture, Lily, so why don’t you just go somewhere else.” I turned, surprised to find that it was James who had spoken out against Lily, and not Blair.

Lily also looked surprised and we all watched in stunned silence as another one of the famous Lily Evans vs. James Potter dojo began. “Well, excuse me, Potter. Maybe if you and your friends didn’t act like heathens all the time, we could actually lead a peaceful life. And sorry if I don’t want to see a disgusting example of PDA on the front lawn!” Lily shrieked as her face became red with anger and James rolled his hazel eyes from behind his glasses.

My bad, Ms. Evans, perhaps we should all just follow your perfect little example?” James grabbed Blair’s hand and looked pointedly at Lily. “I’m sorry if you’re just jealous that I’m over you and with someone better now.” There was a collective intake of breath from everyone around us and I noticed that a lot of people had gathered when Lily had begun to shriek. They stared at each other for a tense moment before Lily turned and stomped off, her shoulders slumping slightly. Andy Ablo glared at James, then Blair and the rest of us before kissing Remus and following after Lily. I vaguely heard slut whispered from next to me and let out a snicker as Lyla’s face turned red.

“So that was interesting.” Sirius said while adjusting his collar and loosening his tie. James narrowed his eyes before letting go of Blair’s hand and stalking off, scarring a few first years in the way. Blair looked after him helplessly and I suddenly got the urge to punch a baby, with the name James Potter. Anyways, Remus and Sirius went to go after him, but Remus stopped Sirius with a glare. “I don’t think he wants to talk to you, Padfoot. Sometimes you make things worse.”

Sirius looked offended and then shrugged. “I resent that.” As Remus walked away, he waved over his shoulder and we stood in an awkward silence. I scuffed my shoes on the floor as Blair examined her nails and Lyla coughed. Sirius rocked back and forth on his heels for a minute before clapping his hands. We all looked up and then smiled naturally. “Hum, I’ve gotta…” Sirius trailed off.

“Yeah, that thing…”

“Something about a bathroom….”

“Great, Food……”

We all separated and walked in different directions. When I had made it back to the common room, we met back at the portrait hole. “So, this is awkward.” Lyla said whilst stroking an imaginary beard. We laughed cautiously before Blair’s face became animated.

“Let’s give Sirius a makeover!” She shouted, grabbing Sirius’ muscular biceps, uh, ignore that. She grabbed his arm and pushed him through the portrait hole. “This will be sooo great! Sirius could totally pull off the girly look.” She was chattering away as Sirius struggled and protested against her. Lyla and I rolled our eyes and followed behind her as she led the way up to the boys dorms. Not like she’s ever been there before or anything, but she opened the door to a clean room and we looked around.

“You guys are totally neat freaks!” I shouted accusingly at Sirius, who looked like I had accused him of kicking a dog.

“Yeah, well, you’re a girl!” He shouted back and we all oohhed at him.

“Great come back, idiot.” Lyla said as she waved her wand in a show of spell work and makeup appeared. “Now, let the make-over begin.”

Forty five long, grueling, exhausting minutes later, we stepped back from Sirius and examined our work. “Nice choice on the pink shadow, Lyla.” I observed as we held back giggles. Sirius glared at us from his spot on the make-shift holding chair we had fashioned out of bed sheets and a desk chair. We pushed together on the chair to turn it towards the mirror and with great effort we forced Sirius to take a look. When he did he let out a tortured groan.

“Look what you’ve done to my beautiful face!” He moaned as we unfastened his hands and he reached up to cautiously touch his face.

“It looks even better now, especially since we curled your hair.” Blair defended as she tugged on a springy curl from atop his head. He looked close to tears and we laughed at his expense. “Come on, I want to get a picture.” Blair said setting the timer on her muggle camera and setting it on the armoire. We smiled and once the flash went off, let Sirius out of his bindings.

“I will get you back for this.” He said menacingly. We rolled our eyes as we left the dorms.

“You know you loved it!” I yelled as the door shut.

Good Day.

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