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Chapter 4 : The Duel of Harry and Ron
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Chapter Four: The Duel of Harry and Ron
At stage one, Lee Jordan had just announced the results of Finch-Fletchley versus Finnigan. It was a draw, with both of them earning 6.8 points. Justin stomped off the dueling stage cradling his right arm, which had recently transfigured into a porcupine and back. He was better off than Seamus, though, who crawled off the stage, laughing, stopping every few seconds to gasp for breath. He had been hit with Rictusempra, which caused the victim to laugh uncontrollably. Justin had put a lot of force into the jinx, which was why, ten minutes later, it still had not worn off yet.
Pansy Parkinson came back from a trip to the Hospital Wing, her face returned to normal, or at least as normal as it would ever get. She passed by Seamus, who was still laughing of course.
"What's so funny?" Pansy shrieked, stopping dead in her tracks. She frantically felt her face for bumps, warts, and other troll-like qualities.
Seamus continued laughing hysterically. Dean, Ron, Parvati, and Lavender joined in, pretending to clutch their sides and wipe away tears of mirth.
"You Gryffindors are so mean!" Pansy wailed, running from the room again. Then everyone let what she had just said sink in, and they started laughing again at the irony of it all.
"Next up we have…Potter versus Weasley!"
Harry got to his feet. Both and Ginny and Ron jumped up.
"Let me make that a bit clearer…Harry Potter versus Ronald Weasley!"
Ginny sat back down again, thoroughly annoyed. "Hypocrite," she muttered.
"Good luck Ron!" called Lavender. Ron looked back at her, lost his footing, and tumbled his way down the stands. The crowd roared with laughter, with Ginny laughing the loudest of all and Hermione fighting back a grin.
Ron got to his feet, incredibly red in the face, and ascended the dueling stage with Harry, who had gotten there a lot more gracefully.
Lee watched the two best mates shake hands before crying, "Three--two--one--DUEL!"
Harry pulled out his wand from his pocket, unsure of how to act. The plan was to have Harry lose on purpose so that Ron would look good and hopefully impress Hermione. But it had to look real, or she wouldn't buy it. In fact, considering the kind of brain Hermione had, the rigged duel had to look more than real.
But Ron hadn't been practicing his wand-brandishing skills for nothing. He whipped his out in a superfluous fashion, pointed it at Harry, and roared, "EXPELLIARMUS!"
"Protego!" Harry said. The Disarming spell nevertheless knocked the wind out of him, although his wand stayed firmly in his grip. It was his turn to act. According to Ron's plan, he was supposed to do a Jelly-Legs jinx and purposefully miss his target.
But he was Harry Potter for crying out loud! Harry Potter never missed his target…okay, he did, but usually the target's name wasn't Ron Weasley.
He reluctantly shot the jinx at Ron, which missed by about three yards. The crowd groaned. Up in the stands, Hermione raised a skeptical eyebrow. But neither of the duelers could see that.
"Tarantallegra!" shouted Ron, puffing his chest and making sure his hair was properly windswept. Harry stepped to the side to allow the spell to hit him, and sighed as his legs began to dance frantically. Hermione narrowed her eyes.
"Harry!" Ron muttered to him out of the corner of his mouth. "You need to make this look more realistic!"
"But nothing about this situation is realistic!" Harry protested, trying to stay on his feet.
"But--I--you--plan--Hermione--" Ron gave up on trying to make Harry see the logic behind his marvelous plan and, taking advantage of Harry's current state, said, "Petrificus totalus!"
Harry was too quick for him. He reflected the spell and Ron fell to the floor, stiff and unmoving.
"Sorry," Harry whispered not too apologetically. Ron's eyes glared at him, but that was all he could do.
Ron watched from his position on the floor. He had just remembered a new spell he had read in 101 Useful Curses. What was it again? Knickerollius? Knickerusis? Ah, well. As soon as he had unfrozen he shouted, "Knickerollisis!"
Harry felt a tingling sensation in his pants as the spell whooshed over him. He glanced at Ron, confused.
"Er--that spell was supposed to--"
Suddenly the crowd began to laugh uproariously. Harry looked down, horrified, to see that his favorite Snitch-patterned boxers were now displayed for the world to see. The males were doing most of the laughing and snorting. The females either squealed ("MERLIN! I just caught a glimpse Harry Potter's underwear!") or screamed and immediately clamped their eyes shut. Harry quickly Summoned his pants back.
That was definitely not part of the plan. Ron seemed to have frozen, apparently having been ignorant of the effects of Knickerollisis. Harry was very embarrassed, and more than a little angry. The plan was to have Ron use a couple of the basic spells, and for Harry to dodge all of them except maybe one or two, and then go down. But after exposing his underwear to half the school, the only thought in Harry's head was, screw the plan.
Harry's first idea was to Stun Ron, but an eviler idea soon replaced it. With a swish of his wand, he conjured a spider and had it dangle in the air in front of Ron's face.
Ron, who had been pondering his next move, gave a high-pitched scream when he finally noticed the eight blinking eyes and the eight wiggling legs. He promptly ran off the stage, still screaming.
Hermione stood up and began making her way through the hysterical crowd. Harry quickly Vanished the spiders. He had to admit that was pretty mean of him.
"Accio Ron!" shouted Harry. Ron, who had almost made it to the doors, came flying back to the stage.
"What was that for?" yelled Ron, trying to save his dignity as his face turned purple with embarrassment and rage.
"You exhibited my underpants to half the student population of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, damn it!" shouted Harry.
"I didn't know what Knickerollisis would do!" Ron protested. Fortunately his wand was pointed at the stage and no one had to suffer what Harry had gone through not too long ago.
"Are you that daft? Knickers! Knickerollisis! Oops!"
Draco Malfoy had passed stage one at that moment, on his way to accept a challenge from the Creevey brothers at stage three. Harry's jinx just happened to hit him in the right part of his anatomy.
"What the hell?" said Malfoy, glancing down when the shrieks of laughter rose to a new height. He studied his exposed green silk boxers with conceited interest.
"Like what you see, Potter?" he drawled, looking up at the duelers of stage one.
Harry turned away, disgusted. Malfoy chuckled and strutted away without even bothering to retrieve his pants, to the delight of many of the girls.
Harry faced Ron again, ready to attack again. Ron did the same, although he seemed reluctant and apologetic.
"STOP!" yelled Hermione, having finally reached the stage. Harry and Ron both instinctively dropped their wands.
"What is this nonsense?" Hermione exploded. "Why in Merlin's name are you two dueling for?"
"We're dueling for you," said Harry sarcastically, and then immediately cast Muffliato. Lee frowned and tipped his head from side to side. A strange buzzing noise had filled his ears.
"What?" said Hermione, flabbergasted. Ron groaned.
"I'm not," Harry clarified quickly. "But he is." He glanced pointedly at Ron.
"What are you talking about, Harry? I just challenged you to this duel to practice my skills," said Ron loudly.
"What skills?" Hermione almost said. But she decided now wasn't the moment to stomp on Ron's self-esteem.
"Come on Ron. Just tell the truth," said Harry exasperatedly.
"Fine," Ron mumbled, his ears turning pink again. "I was trying to impress you."
"Sorry, what did you say?" said Hermione, although she had heard just fine.
"I was trying to impress you," said Ron a bit louder.
"Pardon?" said Hermione, pretending to strain her ears.
"I WAS TRYING TO IMPRESS YOU, WOMAN!"
"Oh," said Hermione, turning a little pink as well. She felt pleased and happy inside, but of course she didn’t show it. "Ron, you don't have to try to impress me! I've been with you through all the crazy adventures! I know what you can do."
"I told you so," Harry said to Ron, unable to refrain. To Hermione, he said, "This was all Ron's idea. I didn't want to go along with it."
"I could tell," said Hermione, the corner of her mouth twitching.
"Sorry," mumbled Ron, looking down at his feet. The planned duel had gone completely wrong. It had turned into a fiasco. "Sorry about Knickero--about the underwear jinx."
"It's alright, mate," said Harry after a pause. "I shouldn't have conjured that spider."
At the word spider, Ron jumped.
"It's okay, Ron," said Hermione, rolling her eyes. "There aren't any spiders around right now."
Ron sighed with relief. "How about we just forget this night ever happened?"
Harry nodded. "Exactly what I was thinking."
And the trio of best friends walked off the stage, to the bewilderment of the crowd who had not heard a thing thanks to Muffliato.
"Up next we have, once again, Potter versus Weasley!" said Lee, trying to hide his confusion. "Only this time it's the other Weasley…Ginny Weasley, to be exact."
Before either of the next duelers could act, Professor McGonagall's voice sounded throughout the Great Hall. "I'm sorry, but the dueling competition must end for tonight," said McGonagall, not looking sorry at all. "It shall continue next Sunday. If you have been injured, please see Madame Pomfrey before returning to your dormitories. Good night." Looking extremely glad that the action was over, at least for tonight, McGonagall retired to her room where she had a generous glass of mead to ease her massive headache.
Relieved that he wouldn't have to duel Ginny because he was exhausted after the duel with Ron, Harry led the way back to the Gryffindor tower.
"You lucked out, Harry," said Ginny, sighing dramatically as she climbed past him through the Fat Lady's portrait hole. "Guess I'll duel you next weekend."
Harry grinned at her, and continued grinning like an idiot as she left. Ginny had pretty red hair…. How could he have not noticed it before?
"Well, that was quite eventful," said Hermione, yawning. "But I'm going to bed now. See you in the morning." She waved at Harry and Ron. Harry waved back. Ron tripped over his own feet.
He got to his feet sheepishly while Harry patted him on the back. And the two of them headed up the staircase to the boys' dormitories for a good night's rest.
What do you think? Tell me by scrolling down just a bit and type a few words into that box! And also I need some new spells...I'm getting tired of using the same ones, as you're probably tired of reading them. So invent some wacky spells, and maybe I'll put it in! You could also tell me who you'd like to see duel! I haven't figured out who's next yet.
Yours till Sirius Black proves he really is Stubby Boardman,
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