Hey ya’ll!!!!!! Alright, Chapter 5 is here!!! Hopefully you’ll find this one a bit funnier than the last. Enjoy!!!!
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"James?" I call quietly.
He looks up from where he’s seated in front of the fireplace.
I’m surprised he can hear me, I feel like a mouse. A very small, very insignificant mouse.
"Yeah Lily?" He asks.
I stare at him, beginning to doubt myself.
Maybe this wasn’t a good idea.
Dinner was a COMPLETE nightmare. As if I wasn’t embarrassing enough to be tripped into the STUPID lake with the STUPID Merpeople, I had to deal with all those STUPID people AFTER the fact.
And let me tell you, people can be so, so, STUPID!!!!!
I mean, first of all I have to put up with everyone pointing at me and laughing. How childish is that? What’s quite possibly worse than that is having to put up with knowing that they’re all talking about me behind my back. And right in front of my face. Oh but they aren’t JUST talking about me. There are all of these REDICULOUS rumors going around. I don’t think I’ve heard all of them yet, but I know that some students are teasing me about peeing my pants, some girl had the nerve to come up to me and yell at me for cheating on my boyfriend with a fish, and every now and then I notice that people seem to be avoiding me like I have some kind of deadly disease or something.
WHERE DO PEOPLE COME UP WITH THIS STUFF!!!!
Anyway, after all that commotion, I just wanted to go to bed. My warm, comfy bed. And I did as soon as I got back from dinner. I took a long, hot shower and put on my favorite nightgown, pulled the curtains around my bed, and got all snuggled up underneath my covers. Normally I would be out in a minute, but this time I couldn’t get to sleep no matter how hard I tried. I kept tossing and turning, and every little sound bothered me.
Like Megan’s stupid clock, I swear I could hear the ticking even after I cursed it to smithereens.
And then, just before I thought I was going to go insane, I started to think about some things.
Evil, evil things.
I couldn’t make them go away. No matter what I did they were STUCK there. I couldn’t help it! It was sheer madness!!! And then the ideas began crossing my mind, they just kept popping into my head, and… and… before I could stop myself…
I was plotting. Plotting revenge.
MERLIN!!! What is WRONG with me!!!! I can’t be plotting revenge!!! I’m, I’m ME. I’m Head Girl, younger students look up to me, I should be off setting a good example by volunteering at the wizarding soup kitchen and petting homeless crups! Not lying awake at night finding ways to seek my sick revenge! That’s just immature, it’s unacceptable!
See, this is what happens when you give into the Marauders. They start to wear off on you. When you first hang out with them it’s all fun and games, you don’t think twice about it, they’re just… obnoxiously amusing, right?
Before long you start to understand them. You get their stupid jokes that before now made no sense whatsoever and can see where they’re coming from when they bring up pointless nonsense topics like whether Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall could possibly be involved in a secret love affair. And then you begin to plot and scheme like they do, staying up at night to plan the perfect prank to pull off on the unsuspecting public. And before you know it they have COMPLETELY warped your innocent and vulnerable mind, twisting it until you eventually SNAP and decide that you want to be a part of their marauding clan. And when they have you right were they want you, they do the unthinkable.
They give you a stupid nickname.
OH!!! Oh the HORROR!!!
And I’M dating their ringleader.
What am I to do with myself.
After what seemed like HOURS of menacing plotting and scheming, all of her
popular little playmates came crashing into my dorm, and after THAT it was just impossible to get a wink of sleep.
I gave in.
I finally decided to come downstairs and talk to James.
Although I have NO IDEA how THAT’S going to help matters, it just seems like the right thing to do.
So that’s why I’m standing here at the bottom of the staircase leading up to the girl’s dormitories in my nightgown looking like a bloody damsel in distress.
Oh the irony.
James sighs, puts down the quill in his hand, and pats the seat beside him, and hesitantly I walk over to take it. But just as I go to sit down next to him, he grabs my waist and pulls me into his lap.
And I’m left breathless and more uncertain than before.
How does he do
that? Since when am I breathless and uncertain???
"What’s wrong Lils?" He asks me gently, stroking my hair.
Stop petting me!
Oh who am I kidding, I love it.
"Nothing’s wrong." I mumble.
Yeah right, like he’s going to believe that rubbish.
"Did someone say something to you?" He asks, trying to keep his voice level. He’s been on edge with this rumor nonsense all day. As much as I don’t want him to worry about me, I’m rather flattered by how defensive he is of me.
But at the same time, I’m slightly annoyed.
I can protect myself thank you very much.
"No, no. I was just… thinking." I say.
"Lily, all you do is think. Which is why you get such better grades than I do. You’re going to have to be a bit more specific than that." He retorts playfully.
"Hey, you get grades just as good as mine." I argue.
"No changing the topic. So, you were thinking about…" He left the end of that sentence open for me.
"Well, I was kind of… I had an idea. I was going
to ask you to help me with it. But it’s a stupid idea anyway, I wasn’t really going to do anything with it, just forget about it." My words come out in an awful rush.
Okay, time to leave.
I move to get up.
He pulls me back down.
"Tell me." He encourages, his face bright. "I love any idea that comes out of that pretty red head of yours."
Great, now I’ve got him started, he’ll never let it go.
Alright then, here it goes.
"What?" He asks, looking slightly bewildered.
Okay, let’s try this again.
"IwanutohelmeprinkPrice." I say just a little louder.
"Lily, don’t be ridiculous, just spit it out!" He cries in frustration.
"I WANT YOU TO HELP ME PRANK PRICE!!!!!!!!!" I burst. Then I clamp my hands over my mouth, wide eyed.
Oh, that was kind of loud wasn’t it?
Good thing the Common Room’s empty.
He’s staring at me.
That is never a good sign.
"You want to do what
?" He sounds appalled.
That isn’t a good sign either.
"You’re going to make me say it again?" I plead against the thought weakly.
"No, no. That was a rhetorical question." He says blankly.
He’s still staring at me.
"Sorry." I mutter quietly. I can feel my face going red.
UGH!!! Always the worst timing.
"Oh no, don’t be sorry, I just…"
"Stop staring at me like that! You’re giving me a complex!" I scold him, massaging my temples.
"Sorry love." He snaps out of his little trance and tightens his arms around me. "It’s just…" He pauses. "You
want to prank
"Yes." I say, attempting to sound a bit surer of my self.
Note that I said ‘attempting’. That does not mean I actually came off as any more confidant about all this.
"But, you’re, well you
." He marvels.
Good job Captain Obvious.
"I can’t believe it either." I mutter miserably.
"So, tell me." James, starts after a moment. "What brought on all this?"
"What do you think? James, just this afternoon she pushed me into a lake full of bloody MERPEOPLE for Godric’s sake!" I exclaim. "Speaking of which, I think I’m getting a cold." I add, sniffling. Really, after taking a dip in a cold lake in the middle of October, I expect it.
"That’s not what I meant though. What gave you the idea to prank her? I thought that pranking was… against your morals or something."
"Yeah, well, my morals can step aside for the moment, I want revenge." I say viciously.
Wow, did he just actually draw back a bit?
At this point he gently pushes me off his lap, stands up, and begins to pace in front of the fireplace. "Really, think this through love. Do you really try to pull off a prank?"
"Yes." I tell him
"But you’re Head Girl." He says.
"And you’re Head Boy, hasn’t stopped you has it?" He stops in his tracks.
"Well… yeah but, aren’t you worried about getting caught?" He asks, turning to face me.
"That’s why I’m asking you to help me."
"Everyone knows when I do a prank."
"Yes, everyone knows that it’s you who did it, but no one can prove
it. That’s the case most of the time anyway." Ha ha, I got him there. "Everyone will probably think that it was you, no one will suspect me… except for maybe her… but I’ll be getting help from the pranking king
, she won’t be able to get me in trouble for it anyway. I’ll get away with it, she’ll get what she’s got coming to her, and you get a once in a lifetime chance to prank someone with your girlfriend… everyone wins. Except for her of coarse." I can’t help but add evilly.
He sits next to me on the sofa again, thinking hard of a way to dissuade me I’m sure.
Well it isn’t going to work.
"You’ve really thought this out, haven’t you?" He finally says.
"I couldn’t help myself." Really, I couldn’t.
"This is so unlike you."
"In a good or bad way?" I ask curiously.
"Not sure." He says, shaking his head.
"Lily, I really don’t know about this…"
"Damnit James Potter!" I hear a voice curse from nowhere.
James freezes on the spot.
Hey, that was my line!
"What did he do?" I hear Sirius’s voice echo in the silence James and I have just made. James starts to pat himself down franticly, like he’s looking for something on his person.
"It wasn’t him really, it was his snitch." I hear the first voice again. A female voice. It sounds awfully familiar.
And when I say awfully I mean that she’s awful.
I franticly look around the room and behind the sofa. Price CAN’T have heard me. She COULDN’T have. I’ll be dead by tomorrow if she did.
Suddenly James finds what he was looking for. He thrusts his hand deep into his pocket and pulls out a small rectangular mirror. He looks up at me alarmed for a moment.
I dive for it.
Now, perhaps it’s not the best idea to be wrestling with James seeing as he has to be twice as big as I am, but see, I know his soft spot. James would never fight back too hard because he’s afraid of hurting me.
And he’s insanely ticklish.
"No no! Stop! Please!" He pleads, laughing, and easily pushes my hands away as soon as he gets a chance.
He thinks he’s going to get away so easily does he?
I tackle him.
Hey, I didn’t think I would be able to knock him over so easily. Maybe it’s because he wasn’t expecting it.
As we’re rolling on the floor fighting over the mirror, I hear Sirius’s voice again.
"His snitch? But how did you get hit with his snitch? He keeps that… what are you doing with his cloak anyway? Did he lend it to you?"
"What does that mean? Ebbs, did you steal James cloak?"
At this, James falters, and I take the opportunity to snatch the mirror from his hand.
"I didn’t steal
it, I just… borrowed
it." Price whines. "I’ll put it back when I’m done."
"Lily, give me the mirror." James demands in a harsh but quiet voice, holding out his hand.
"Not a chance." I say back.
Why are we whispering???
I don’t know, all I know is that this… magical mirror is speaking to me.
I say we listen!!! By the sound of it, it’s on my side!!!
"Ebony, that’s the same thing." Sirius growls. And I mean that quite literally actually, he sounds just like a dog sometimes. "Don’t do that! You can’t go around taking my mate’s stuff. You never know if the something you take is important, more important than you think it is."
Oooo… he doesn’t sound too happy.
"Ebony, we need to talk."
YES!!!! Everyone knows that that’s the kiss of death!!!
I hope he drops her like a sack of rotten potatoes.
"Yeah Sirius, we should talk."
James looks stricken, but he isn’t trying to take his mirror back, so I suppose that means I can keep it.
"Why did you trip Lily into the lake?" Sirius asks quietly.
I want to hear this one, even though I already know why…
SHE’S A HEARTLESS KENIVING BITCH THAT’S WHY!!!!!!!!
"Um, because she’s a prissy little skank who deserved it."
Ouch. I have to admit, that hurt, even if I DO hate her.
"Oh come on, you have to admit that was the funniest thing you’ve ever seen." Price half laughs.
NO. It was NOT funny AT ALL.
"No. No it wasn’t." Sirius snaps, angry. "It was cruel, there was no reason for it."
It’s good to see he’s on my side.
"Sirius, come on, I just-"
"It was mean Ebony, mean and unfair. First you treat her badly at lunch, and then add injury to insult by tripping her into a lake full of bloody Merpeople. What the hell Ebony? She doesn’t exactly like you either. But James asked her to be polite towards you because I like you… a lot. She has the decency to do that for him, for you, why can’t you do the same for her? For me?"
I can honestly say I did not expect Sirius to say anything like that.
I’m really interested on what she’s going to say to that one.
"But… but she didn’t hurt herself. It was just a joke."
Haha, she sounds all flustered.
"She came close enough. You never know when a joke is going to turn into something more and really hurt someone. That was so, so stupid. Why did you have to do that?"
"Because… because she’s her
Sirius! Just the way she acts like she’s better than everyone else just cause she’s Head Girl, and the way she has to beat everyone at everything and-"
Wait wait wait, hold your hippogriffs.
act like I’m better than everyone??? Is she joking???
There’s a long pause. James is looking awfully blank again.
"I know you don’t like her, but you can at least tolerate her. How hard is that?"
Wow, is he actually begging
for Price to be nice to me???
Is this conversation even happening??? Could it be that James’s magical mirror is lying to me???
"Ebony, come on, for me."
Yup, this is defiantly some kind of trick. Either that or Sirius drank some bad Firewhisky.
"Fine, whatever. Now, can I kiss it and make it better?" Price says snootily.
Ok, now I’m starting to lean more toward the Firewhisky theory.
He was having such a good run too.
Now that Sirius and Price’s little spat is over, James and I are just standing here staring at the mirror in my hand as it emits repulsive noises of them making out again.
As if I don’t get enough of that in class.
I want to ask him so many things right now, but first I’ll ask about his mirror.
"So…" I start slyly.
"I’m in." He says suddenly, and I yelp as he grabs my wrist and pulls me out of the common room. "Come on, we’ve got work to do."
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Ok!!! There it is!!! I hope you enjoyed it!!! And please, remember to review!!!