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The Pick-Up Line by cosmopiltan411
Chapter 1 : The Pick-Up Line
Rating: 15+Chapter Reviews: 49

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The Pick-Up Line


She sat at the bar absentmindedly running a finger around the rim of her glass, purposefully ignoring everyone around her, when she felt someone sit by her. She didn’t address him. She prayed that he’d get the hint and walk away, maybe even find some slag to shag if he was so desperate for an easy lay.

What surprised her, however, was when she heard a deep voice say the last thing that she ever expected, “Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by you again?”

She tried to hold back her laughter, but she couldn’t help herself. She bit her lip as she turned in her seat to face the handsome stranger. “Your place or mine? Tell you what, I”ll flip a coin, heads at my place and tails at yours,” she responded, winking at him flirtatiously.

He let out a bark of laughter, “Never thought that line would actually work for me.”

She shrugged, “It’s far more amusing than when a bloke introduces himself and expects you to be in awe of how powerful they are at the ministry.”

“These events are full of bureaucrats from the ministry, what more can you expect? Plus, if I do say so myself, you’re looking mighty sexy this evening, I know that’s why I came to talk to you.”

“Great, you’re just another randy bloke looking for a shag.”

“Well, aren’t we all?”

She chuckled at the statement, “Too true.” It was then that she noticed the clock hanging up behind the bar, pointing to twelve, “Listen, I should go, have an early morning tomorrow. It was… interesting, I think.”

“So much so that there’s a chance of a repeat?”

She paused for a moment before finally responding, “For all I know you could be some creepy serial killer, I’d have to know you far better than this if I were to go out with you.”

He looked at her incredulously, a smile tugging at his lips all the while, clearly amused by her logic, “But what if, on the off chance, I’m not; don’t you think you should take a chance on me then?”

She smiled, “It was nice meeting you. I haven’t had fun at one of these events in ages,” she told him before walking away.


“You’re so fine, I forgot my pickup line,” she heard a familiar voice say to her as she sat on the window sill of Flourish and Bott's reading a novel.

She let out a small laugh, turning to see the bloke whom she had had drinks with only three days ago leaning on a bookshelf right across from where she was seated. “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.”

He smirked, “I see you’ve been doing research.”

“And, if I do say so myself, my line totally kicked ass just now,” she beamed proudly at him.


She nodded her head enthusiastically, “Yep.”

“So I wasn’t expecting to ever see you again,” he told her as he pushed himself off the bookshelf and took a seat by her on the window sill of the shop.

“Neither did I.”

“But then again, I guess, ultimately, the question is whether or not it’s a pleasant surprise,” he commented, cocking an eyebrow at her inquisitively.

“Surprisingly enough, very,” she smiled, the genuineness behind the statement taking even her by surprise.

“Glad to hear it,” he grinned at her. “So one thing that you said that night really stuck with me.”

She raised an eyebrow, “Oh?”

“Yeah, what would it take for you to go out with me?”

She smiled, “You don’t give up do you?”

He ruefully shook his head at her, “Not when I find a cause worth fighting for.”

“Well, then I’m afraid you’re going to have to work harder because I have a mate’s baby shower to attend now,” she announced, closing her book and lifting herself off the sill.

He disappointedly watched her pack up her things before finally asking “Can I at least have your name?”

She bit her lip, nervously smiling at him, “Lily.”

“Well, Lily, it was nice meeting you. I’m James Potter, by the way,” he extended his hand to her.

She grinned, taking his hand in hers and shaking it before saying “Well, I best be off, have to go pick up the gift for the shower as well… but it was nice talking to you again, James. Who knows, third time might even be the charm.”

“It’s only a question of how I’ll get to that third time, right?”

“Yeah, but the challenge is part of the fun anyway,” she winked at him before leaving.


It wasn’t until two weeks later that she heard that familiar voice once again, “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”

“I had wings so it wasn’t so much a fall as I flew down,” she quipped.

He chuckled, taking the seat by her at the bar, “So what are you doing here?”

“I like getting pissed at the Leaky Cauldron during my lunch break if I’m having a hard day at work.”

“Anything I can do to make it better?”

She cocked her head to the side, smiling at him, “Oddly enough, you already did. Your pathetic excuse of a pick up line always makes me laugh.”

“Glad to be of service then,” he bowed his head slightly in a faux show of chivalry. “So how have you been, Lily?”

“I’ve been doing well, you?”

“Slightly annoyed by how formal we are right now, to tell you the truth.”

“True, we never did go through the formalities before so why start now.”

“Exactly, it’s a waste of time spent feeling awkward around one another. We passed that phase long ago.”

“Actually, we were never even in that phase,” she pointed out.

“Minor detail,” he waved her off.

“So why are you here, Potter?”

“Meeting a few of my mates here, they’re actually at the table over there,” he told her, pointing to a table in the far back where two men were currently nursing their drinks and eying them suspiciously.

“Lovely lot, aren’t they?”

“They’re just mad that I’m not with them now, they get jealous very easily,” he whispered to her conspiratorially.

“Well, then you shouldn’t keep them waiting.”

“I don’t mind.”

“But I do, receiving death glares isn’t my favourite past time to tell you the truth. Plus, I should head back to work. I have a lot to do today,” she told him, placing some money on the counter to pay for her drink before collecting her things as she prepared to leave.

“Hey,” he said, grabbing her arm just as she was about to go.

“Yeah?” she asked, turning to look at him.

“Any chance that third time’s the charm with us?”

She laughed, “Name’s, Lily Evans, you’re an Auror; you should have no problem getting my contact information now.”

He gave her a quizzical look, eying her suspiciously, “How’d you know I’m an Auror?”

“Well, I had to do my research, you know, make sure you’re not some crazy psycho serial rapist.”

He let out a deep chortle of amusement, “So, I take it I passed the test then?”

“Call me, Potter, then the test can actually begin,” she winked at him before walking away.


“Ms. Evans?” a timid secretary knocked on the door to her office.

“Don’t worry, Charlotte, you won’t be on the receiving end of my red headed temper. I save that for the idiots that can’t do their work—yours, on the other hand, is immaculate. You never need fear me… leave that one to them,” she told her, rubbing her temples in a desperate attempt to alleviate her head ache. “And please call me Lily. When you call me Ms. Evans it reminds me of my mom and I really don’t need that one right now.”

“Uh… thank you, Ms. Eva—Lily. Um some flowers arrived for you.”

Lily looked up, perplexity written all over her face, “Huh?”

“Well, a bouquet of flowers just arrived for you,” the secretary said, slightly affronted by Lily’s unusually ineloquent response to her statement.

“Oh, um… send it in please.”

“Right… of course,” she said before hurriedly exiting the office, only to come back a minute later, levitating an enormous vase filled with flowers.

“Bloody hell,” Lily exclaimed at the sight of the assortment.

“It’s Winston, this bouquet must have set back your admirer quite a bit,” Charlotte noted as she stared at the set with envy.

Lily eyed it with confusion before she finally found the card in the card.

What would you say if I were to ask you out to dinner, tomorrow night at seven?

-The crazy psycho serial rapist

She laughed as she read the message quickly grabbing a quill and a piece of parchment.

The body is made up of 90 water and I’m thirsty.

I assume you can find my address on record, Potter.

“Have my owl, Cow, send this, would you, Charlotte?” she asked as she passed the folded note to her secretary.

“Of course, Ms. Evans.”



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