Chapter 7 : Medicating
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“When you wake up to white walls
And endless halls
There's an emptiness that echoes through it all
So sit back in your bed
With your mind medicated
And your senses stuck on the sick scent of the dead.
You can call for the doctor
It's all you've got any more
He's the ticket to the life you had before
If I could just make them see that I don't need this
Doctor, doctor what am I here for?
Can't you see that I don't need this place?
I don't need these walls.
I'm no threat at all.” Boys Night Out (Medicating)
Today was the day. Dooms day, death day, I should just throw myself out the window day. Nevertheless known as my birthday. My back was propped up against some pillows, my head resting against the cool metal of the head board. Today, was the day, I believed as the end. The end of my pain, and suffering. Yet it was also the beginning, of what this curse was to bring me.
"Harm, talk to me." Sky pleaded from the chair beside my bed. I had yet to speak, my throat so raw, swallowing was enough work. I squeezed her hand in reassurance, but deep down I knew that was nowhere near enough for her.
On a level, I wanted to go back to my regular life, attending classes (even the dreadful ones with Black), and eat meals with Sky (also by him), and stay up all night talking about anything and everything with Sky. On another level, I wanted to crawl into a dark hole, and lie there until I die. Which wouldn't be long, because without blood, my body will rot into nothing. Its not a slow process, but its slow enough to feel yourself having a second death.
"Harmony, I have to go to Divination." I wanted to smile, and tell her to have fun. Why, why was it so hard? "Get better, okay hun? I think the boys said they were dropping by sometime today too." The urge to smile immediately vanished, and I could feel my lips twitch into a frown. The most movement on my own since this all started.
I wasn't comfortable with them knowing about my secret life. But for some reason, I felt it was safe with them. With the chance of Black backstabbing me (which I consider to be HIGHLY likely) my secret would be gone in ten seconds or less. But the look in his eyes told me something different. I don't need his sympathy anyways, I've made it this far without it, I don't think I'll die without it now.
Hah, get it? Die? Yeah, that was a horrible pun.
With a kiss on the cheek, she trudged out of the room, her feet dragging from exhaustion. Everyone’s insisted on her staying in her dorm room for the night, even just one. However, Sky was just as stubborn as Madam Pompfrey, and she got her wish of staying on the bed beside mine through the night. With constant bustling, it was sometimes hard to get sleep here in the infirmary. Well, unless you're on a sleeping potion like I am. Ever since, I haven't kept my eyes shut for more than a second, scared that they may never open again.
I wasn't sure how long I laid there, how many potions I took, or how many patients came in and out receiving the care the needed. My answers were answered when the sun went down. The feeling of loneliness was setting in, it was hard not to talk to someone, anyone. It was hard to hardly be able to hold up my own head, or move my body parts. My vocal chords had gone against me, almost as if I didn't exist.
Why me? Why was I given such a curse? A second death, much more painful than the first. I need to stop thinking these thoughts, I have to live my life, happily, without a worry. Now all I need to do is get rid of that pesky prat...
"Oh Harmony!" Speak of the devil. I closed my eyes, grinding my teeth. I would open my eyes, it will only take a few minutes to play sleep. "Shh, Sirius shes sleeping. What the hell is wrong with you?" James asked, just as loudly as the last. "You guys suck at whispering." If it weren't for my heightened senses, I probably wouldn't have heard the whisper of Remus. "Is she dead?" Ah yes, Peter's here too.
"Don't be stupid, shes play sleeping." Damn, caught in the act. Well, I should be grateful they even bothered to come and see me. That reminded me, where the hell had Angie been? I haven't seen her since.. the train. Did she even know?
My eyes slowly peeked open, to see the bickering bunch in front of me. "Oh hey, you're awake." James said, sitting down on the bed. A strike of pain shot up through my leg, and a small cry escaped my lips. "Oh god, I'm so sorry!" James exclaimed, jumping up from the bed. "God Potter, you've been in the room two minutes, and you managed to hurt someone." Came the voice of Lily Evans. What in the world was she doing here?
Thats when I noticed the amount of books and parchments in her hands. Homework, fabulous. Again, its the thought that counts. "Its okay really," I surprised even myself, as I managed to croak out a few words. "I see," She bit her lip. "How are you feeling?" James seemed to be still upset about minutes before. "Okay." I managed to croak out again. I held out my hand to James, beckoning him closer. He didn't know it could've possibly hurt me anyways. Well, I should be in St. Mungo's for my condition, but again Sky's stubborness saved me. I would have probably thrown myself out the window if I was taken there.
James sat down on the bed again, as Remus took the chair Sky usually occupies. Peter muttered something about meeting someone in the library, as Sirius stood there looking for somewhere to sit. Then again, he didn't necessarily think things through, and sat down on Remus' lap, only to be pushed to the ground.
"Happy Birthday," Remus smiled setting a card down on the stand beside my bed. How did they know? "Sky told us." Remus answered, probably seeing the confusion in my eyes. I knew there was a reason why I always tolerated him.
"Yeah, Happy Birthday." James chirped, giving me his famous grin. Lily rolled her eyes, and set down the pile of books onto the floor beside my bed. "I hope you feel better soon, I have to go. Bye Harmony." James immediately jumped off the bed. "Evans, wait up! I'll walk you!" And he was out of sight.
I glanced back at Remus, and a dejected looking Black. Actually, he hasn't spoken a word since I stopped pretending to sleep. "How are you Sirius?" I think another wave of shock passed through the room. I called him Sirius. Man I must REALLY feel bad. He looked up from the ground, which he hadn't even bothered to move from, and stared up at me in amazement. I am quite amazing, aren't I?
"How I am? How the bloody hell are you? You were frikken levitated out of the common room, having a total fit. Then Sky said you almost died." Ouch, that actually kind of hurt. He seemed to notice the look on my face. Don't get me wrong, I'm not moaning Myrtle, but death is also a kind of touchy subject to me (no matter how many horrible puns I make about it).
"Oh, I didn't mean it like that- I just meant that you almost lost your life! No. Wait! You almost left this earth completely! No.. Shit. I mean..." I could feel the aches in my heart again, did I really seem that much like a monster. Was being immortal that difficult for others to wrap their heads around. "I mean..."
"Sirius, shut up." I think we both silently thanked Remus. "I uh- should go." Black muttered, before handing me a wrapped box like gift, before taking off. I looked up at Remus confused, "He didn't mean any of that, you know?"
After a moment of silence, I turned my gaze away from where Black had once stood to the outside. Tomorrow would be the full moon, a night for all werewolves and vampires to walk under the shining moon. The only risk, be caught by hunters.
Last month, the odour of the wolf was faint, almost non existent. But tonight, the odour was stronger than ever before. It was either my heightened senses, or the werewolf was sitting right next to me...
Authors Note: So i've lost my laptop (again). This time however, I demanded a new one. One that won't break constantly. My sister was nice enough to let me use her laptop to post this.
So I'm sorry about the wait.
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