Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you
-Lifehouse: Hanging By A Moment
She slammed her fist against the tall, glass door that was the entry way to Oliver's condominium near the Quidditch stadium. Her breathing was heavy, not in an angry way, but rather an impatient way. When no one came from any of the doors she could see through the transparent glass, she banged her hand harder against it. She could feel the tears rolling from her eyes; this was something she did when she grew angry due to impatience.
“I'm coming!” Oliver shouted from somewhere in his huge home. She stopped banging after this and stood, still not patient, and waited for him. Her breathing slowed a bit when she saw him coming, but for some reason her heart began to beat faster and her palms began sweating.
“Oh,” he said when he opened the door. He waved his hand to offer for her to come in, but her mouth opened and words poured out that she wasn't prepared to say.
“I'm that girl.”
He looked at her, confused.
“The girl in the letter. I'm the girl. The girl who never noticed you that way. The girl who was always preoccupied with...him.”
He nodded and took her hand gently, holding onto it. When he leaned in toward her, she allowed her heart to take control. She slung her arms around his neck as his lips crashed into hers. He held her tightly to his body as their kiss turned more passionate. His strong hands held her round face between them as she struggled with the choice of air or this wonderful kiss. Oliver made the decision for her when he let go.
“It took you long enough.”
Becky's blue eyes pierced Katie as she stood in front of her sister, grinning a stupid grin. Cocking her head to the side as she hoisted a little girl on her hip, Becky raised her eyebrow. Katie sighed and took Ruby from Becky's arms.
“Is it a crime to ask my sister and her family to my place for supper?”
“Yes, when your name is Katherine Marie Bell.”
“Let's think. Should we recall what has happened the last few times you've invited us to supper?”
Katie rolled her eyes as Ruby tugged at her aunt's hair gently, trying to make it curlier than it already was. Allowing her niece to continue as it wasn't hurting her, Katie waited for Becky to embarrass her by recalling things she'd rather not be brought up.
“Exhibit A: Katie lost her virginity and didn't use a contraceptive of any sort.”
“Not in front of a four-year-old, Becks.”
“Yes in front of Ruby. She'll have to learn it one day and you're a prime example.”
“Fine, fine.” Did Becky always have to be right? Katie sighed and allowed her older sister to continue.
“Exhibit B: You let Ruby fly a broom.”
“I'll admit that that was irresponsible.”
“You think? Moving on to Exhibit C – ”
“Please come over for supper?”
“No! If you need to tell me something stupid you did you can tell me now. Ruby's asleep.”
Katie looked down and in fact the spitting image of Becky – right down to her angular face – was asleep in her arms.
“I slept with Oliver.”
“I'm not going to repeat it.”
“You...slept with him?”
Katie nodded and looked down at her shoes as well as she could with Ruby in her arms. It did sound rather terrible when said out loud. She scrunched up her nose and gently moved Ruby so that she was being hoisted on a different hip.
“Damn it,” she muttered.
“What?” Becky asked.
“Am I really that promiscuous?”
“You've slept with two guys in your life. That's hardly promiscuous.”
“So please come to dinner?”
“No. You've already told me your gossip about yourself.”
Lying in bed that night, Katie's thoughts meandered wildly. She figured that she was simply confused, torn between two men. Yes, that was it. All she had to do was get over George and learn to be happy with Oliver. Sighing, she turned over restlessly in bed. Looking at her was her orange striped kitten, its large green eyes gawking in disbelief. Could kittens look at one with disbelief?
“I'm sorry, Lulu,” Katie said as she stroked the baby cat's soft fur. Lulu purred softly as she nudged her mistress's hand gently. Chuckling softly, Katie snuggled the kitten to her chest lovingly.
“You're very lucky that you're a cat, you know that?” In response, the tiny kitten meowed into Katie's ear as she buried her furry head into her owner's neck. As she cuddled her pet, a knock came at the door. She softly pecked Lulu's orange head as she placed her gingerly on a pillow on the right side of the bed.
Hugging her ratty old sweater to her slim body, Katie walked quietly through her small apartment. She flicked on a few lights on her way in order to illuminate the apartment so that she would not trip over anything. When she reached the door, she opened it without thinking to look through the peep hole. She stood shivering before the person at her door.
“Oliver? What're you doing here; it's one in the morning?”
“I don't want to lose you.”
“You have nothing to lose. I'm right here and I don't have anyone else to go to.”
She took his hand and led him to her bedroom; if she didn't lie down soon she was sure to fall asleep standing up. He willingly followed her and even took Lulu gratefully when she handed her kitten to him. When she laid down in bed, he placed his hand lovingly on hers. She smiled and tried to think of something intelligent to say.
“So this is Lulu?”
“Yes,” Katie whispered, half-conscious.
“And you bought her because you were lonely?”
“Yes. And I need something to cuddle and talk to.”
“You have a person now, you know.”
“I can't just get rid of her. I love her.”
“As much as you love me?”
“Yes, but in more of a mother-child way. She's my baby until I have human babies. And even then she'll be my baby.”
“I love you.”
Katie smiled and pulled his face to hers to kiss him. As their lips broke apart, Oliver gently touched her nose with his. She lovingly placed her hand on his scruffy cheek and watched as he allowed her little kitten to play games with his hands. After a few moments, he looked over to Katie.
“Yes?” she said.
“Do you love me too?”
She bit her lip and looked at the ceiling. She did love him; that was one of the few things she did know. The problem with telling him was simple: she'd never actually said it to anyone but George. It was hard for her to say it again for fear her heart would be broken into disrepair. If she couldn't say the words just yet, she could nod to tell him.
“I do,” she whispered.
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